The #confessionsofamom tag has been going around on Dayre. I also wanna confess! Pretend you’re a priest ok wtf.
I think I have a pretty lackadaisical approach to parenting. In fact I am lackadaisical in all aspects of my life la so no wonder I’m so chin chai when it comes to my babies. Also no wonder if you can already tell what most of my confessions are going to be like. *shifty eyed
1. I try to make Fighter sleep earlier…
so that I can have more ‘me’ time at night to get my own stuff done. Whether it’s blogging or baking or even just watching series in peace. :X So I’ll make sure he doesn’t sleep too late in the afternoon. Either that or I’ll find some strenuous activity for him to do in the evening so he’ll be tired at night and sleep faster wtf.
For example, swimming in the bathtub. :X
2. Sometimes when Fighter drops food, I pick it up and eat it myself. But I blow on it first. #likethatmakesitanybetter
If he spits out food, I sometimes eat it too (if there’s not too much saliva on it). There goes my reputation wtf.
Waste not, want not wtf. So far haven’t fed Fighter food from the floor la. But if say drop on the bed then yeah I might feed it to him. :X
Yea and if it’s his pacifier, sometimes I just pick it up, blow on it and give it back to him wtf.
3. I use kids as an excuse to go home early… and as a topic of conversation
In my defense, not just me! Fatty does it too! Sometimes we take Fighter out with us to dinner… so we can excuse ourselves and say “sorry our son needs to go home and sleep.” Perfect unoffensive excuse to go and people won’t give you shit for it!
Uhh but other times we also bring Fighter out because we want to okay hahaha and not just avoiding your company. Our friends will never know now HAHAHA wtf.
Sometimes if we’re out with people I don’t really know, it’s great having a kid there too so I can focus on him if I got nothing to say to them wtf. But that hasn’t happened too often la hahaha but it’s always a good fallback plan. The bad news is that I get lazy to think of topics of conversation.
4. I cannot excuse bad behavior in adults anymore
Cikumuffin from Dayre actually said the same thing and it hit me like a revelation.
Within the past year or two, I found myself getting increasingly intolerant of friends or even strangers who behaved badly. I’m not even talking about people who do actual evil things, but those who are rude, or selfish or just aren’t nice.
Take my Kempen Sopan Santun for example. If I didn’t have kids yet I don’t think I’d be so worked up over strangers being rude. And don’t say strangers, friends also. I’ve been friends with some people for years and years, and I’d obviously always known what they’re like. I was okay with the way they acted before but after having kids, I found my patience for certain antics had finally run thin.
I was a little troubled to be honest. I thought how come I was okay with this behavior before but now all of a sudden, I’m not and get so annoyed? They’ve always been like that and I’ve always been fine with it — why now am I not? I’d already known what they’re like ma so it’s my fault that I’m angry, not theirs.
And Ciku put it very succinctly. It is us, not them. And what changed was us having kids. It’s as if with kids, all my patience has been used up by them and I don’t have any more left for adults. Because our expectation has become that adults should know better than kids, and therefore should behave better.
I am trying to not be so judgmental because nobody likes a judgmental bitch wtf but it’s hard. I keep thinking my kid would know not to do this, so why wouldn’t you, as a grown-up?
5. Every time I’m stuck at home for too long I want to leave the kids for a little while but when I’m out, I just want to come back and curse myself for leaving them
And then I get angry at whoever/whatever is preventing me from coming home quickly. I can never win.
6. I’m super lackadaisical with germs/danger etc
On a scale of 1 to 10 of paranoia, I think I’m at -2. Partly because my personal motto is basically Alfred Neuman’s – “what, me worry?” and partly because I don’t want to be that crazy paranoid mother who prevents her children from doing everything because “it could be dangerous” I don’t want him to remember a childhood of No’s and miss out on having great kid adventures! Also I’m scared if I keep saying no or telling him of bad things that could happen, I’d stem his curiosity and create irrational fear in him.
So unless he’s holding a knife, I usually don’t tell Fighter no. I just tell him to be careful, let him touch and explore whatever he wants and wash his hands later. Also, I expose him to discomfort a little bit at a time so he understands. For example, I kept telling him the water dripping out of our distiller was hot but he didn’t want to listen. He kept on wanting to touch it.
So I let him touch the water WTF. And he screamed the house down. :X But after that every time I told him something was hot, he believed me and never fought to touch it again. Or if he did, he’d graze his fingers on it quickly and remove them. Letting him experience it himself definitely taught him more effectively than just telling him.
But then this laissez faire attitude backfired la when we took Fighter to an indoor playground and he contracted stomach flu and then passed it on to all of us wtf. So after that incident I started sanitizing any public surfaces he might touch hahaha sigh. But overall I still believe my chin chai parenting is on the right track hahaha.
7. The same goes for food
Super chin chai with food too. After Fighter turned a year old, I fed him Mcdonald’s fries and nuggets. I also give him sugar and chocolate and ice cream and random junk food. :X *waits to be judged
I give it in moderation la not so bad! But maybe my moderation equals to other people’s extreme-tion wtf. I know plenty of mothers who don’t let their kids touch outside food at all and everything has to be home made/home grown/home fertilized wtf.
Again, why I let him try everything is because I don’t want him to get used to a certain kind of taste and texture only. I want him to be adventurous with food (so I don’t have a hell of a time getting him to eat) ]. I think it worked! Cos he’s always eager to try anything I give to him; if he doesn’t like it he may spit it out, but he’s always happy to just take a bite rather than refuse at the start. He’s also okay with most different textures.
So those are my Mom Confessions.
What are yours? (if you’re a parent la wtf. If you’re not also never mind can anyhow confess anything hahahaha)