AudNerd AudParenting

What you should know about praising your children

Lately I haven’t been blogging (or vlogging) much and I have a very good reason!  I read a lot and often I go on tangents of different topics and totally immerse myself in it.  For example, it could be Chinese history so from Amy Tan I could progress to maybe Jun Chang and then Lu Xun. I’d read up all I can find about Chinese history then branch out into Chinese literature, biographies etc.  After China, I might move on to Japan, then to Afghanistan, then to women’s rights because.. Afghanistan.

So my latest obsession is education and the psychology of children.  So this book I’ve been reading is SUPER interesting.  It’s called Nurture Shock, written by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman.

Chapter by chapter it focuses on a certain topic related to kids.  Based on proper scientific research and studies, it debunks misconceptions that we adults may have towards kids.  It shows sometimes the “solutions” we have towards problems may actually be backfiring and it is mad fascinating!

I thought it’d be cool to put down some of the things that really struck me here.  There’s a lot of information though so I’ll go through topic by topic ok.

Kids and praise

Everyone thinks that praising a child is good for their self esteem and confidence.  But nope.  Only if the praise is specific and well deserved.  Kids older than preschool can already tell if praise is insincere and the effect is way negative.

Praise needs to be done right too.  A child, let’s call him Bill, say he has scored into the top 1% of his school and has been praised as smart.  He grows up thinking that he’s intelligent.  But a child like Bill is less likely to pursue something that he wasn’t good at from the start.  They are more likely to give up, and only target the “easy” tasks to preserve their self image of being clever. It causes them to underperform.

When you praise a kid for being smart, you send them the message that smart is an innate talent – you either have it or you don’t. They will not try further than that because they already think either they can do it or they can’t.  But if you praise a kid for his effort, he or she is more likely to work harder and achieve greater heights.

Many studies proved this.  One study had two groups of kids perform a series of puzzles, like an IQ test.  At the end, the researchers told each kid their score, followed by a line of praise.  Half the kids were praised for their intelligence, eg, “You must be smart at this.” The other half were praised for their effort: “You must have worked really hard.”

Then the kids were given a second test. They were told they could choose between a harder test but that they’d learn a lot from attempting this harder test, or they could do an easy test, just like the first.  90% of those who were praised for their effort, chose the harder test.  For those praised for intelligence, majority chose the easy test.  Ie. the “smart” kids took the cop-out.

Why? Cos when we praise kids for their intelligence, we tell them that intelligence is what matters.  So  kids choose to look smart and avoid the risk of embarrassment.  Putting in effort becomes a stigma – it’s proof that you can’t make it with your natural gifts.

In a follow up study, the researchers gave the kids a super difficult test, designed for two grades above them.  As expected, everyone failed.  But the two groups of kids responded differently.

Those praised for effort assumed they didn’t focus hard enough on the test.  But those praised for intelligence assumed their failure is proof that they weren’t really smart after all.  They were miserable and stressed.

After that the researchers gave all the kids a final test that was as easy as the first round.  The “effort” kids improved on their first score – by about 30%.  The “smart” ones did worse – by 20%.

Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable they can control.  Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to failure. – Carol Dweck, whose studies these were.

So the moral of the story is: Praise your children but be careful when you do it and how. Parents praise kids as a way of showing our love and encouragement.  I find myself doing that to Fighter and Penny too!  “So clever!” and “Good job” roll off my tongue easily even when it’s doing something like picking up his toys after I nag him to. -_-

We praise with the intention of giving them confidence but in fact, indiscriminate, inaccurate praise creates the opposite result.

IMG_20161201_110509-01Good jo – I mean, you must be really working on opening the door, Penny!

AudBaby AudTourist

The Tiahs X Hello Kitty Town X Legoland

So about two months ago (yalah yalah very late la wtf) we took a family trip to Hello Kitty Town & Thomas Town and Legoland in Puteri Harbour.  Big group of us cos it was our family, helper, my parents, and the Chiams!

It was a really good trip!

Feels like it was all pros and no cons hahahaha lemme list em out for you.

  1. So near if you’re coming from KL or Singapore you can just drive down.  I loved driving down cos we don’t have to pack to fit airline requirements – we just packed everything into the car and went.
  2. Cheaper than going overseas
  3. Legoland and Hello Kitty Town etc are damn clean and well maintained!
  4. Hotels were awesome.  We stayed at Hotel Jen and everything looked spanking new.  They accomodated us very well with an extra bed for helper, connecting rooms with Mummy & Fat Her, and a spare cot for Penny.
  5. It’s basically theme parks for kids so everything was very child friendly.  From food to baby rooms to child sized shopping carts <3

Erm can’t think of any cons real one hahahahaah.

Anyway spamming photossssss.

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The four kids at Hello Kitty Town. IMG-20161002-WA0043

Fighter being mesmerized by Barney.  Or was it Bob the Builder?

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This girl not interested in taking photos with her mom. >:( IMG-20161002-WA0053

Oh but taking photos with Grandma and Grandpa is fine.

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Oh gawd. IMG-20161002-WA0030

Erm not sure but she looks like she’s trying to hypnotize the bear hahahaha.

 

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Finally at Legoland! I damn scared they get heat stroke wtf so I made them wear hats.

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Hahahaha. IMG-20161005-WA0035

We rented this stroller from Legoland for RM 65 I think.  A bit steep but turned out to be so worth it.  If Penny didn’t want to sit, Chase would happily sit with his BFF.  And if the kids were walking, we just used the stroller as a cart for our bags and baby stuff.

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Us: Are you guys ready!?
Kids:

Lol.

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It started drizzling so we took a break.  Love how Legoland had these rest stops with benches and tables and tonsss of Lego to entertain the kids. IMG-20161005-WA0013

Whaddup Legoland!

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This is grumpy me cos Penny didn’t want to sit with me hahahaha.  At the Observation Tower ride. IMG-20161005-WA0044

Busy busy.

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Ice cream break after playing with Legos. IMG-20161005-WA0026

Someone really loves ducks.

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“How much? Eh discount la can?”

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Whoops pictures are all jumbled. Koko and Grandpa with a shirt that we bought and Fighter chose for Grandpa’s birthday. IMG-20161005-WA0014

At Duplo Express, which is really the most suitable for our kids at this age.  It’s a miniature Lego Duplo town and is essentially a very well equipped play ground.  There’s even a Duplo Express train ride.  Kids spent the most time here.

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Fighter on the car at Junior Driving School, another ride he loved. IMG-20161003-WA0012

Lunch time! Pasta for everyone to get energy up.
IMG-20161004-WA0000Mummy Ooi rolling Chase and Fighter down a slope hahaha.

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Ooh this is the Duplo Express Train! IMG-20161005-WA0018Fighter and Grandma.

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A cake we bought for Fat Her’s birthday hahaha.   IMG_20161003_210222Happy birthday Fat Her!!! We love you!

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Yep this girl too. IMG-20161004-WA0014 Very much. It’s one of our favorite holidays with the kids so far actually. ^^ We will definitely be back in a year or two.  The kids may have forgotten some and they’ll be older too and it’d be a new experience. Thank you so much Legoland for the awesome stay and hospitality!  I really recommend this if you moms and dads are thinking of going somewhere these school holidays. :) Oh and here’s my vlogs on the trip!  

AudDisgusting Audvertorial Uncategorized

Smecta diarrhea away!

At the hospital waiting for the doctor cos Fighter’s fever came back. 😔

Times like this I wish I was still breastfeeding so I can do something more. 😢

His fever was at 38.6 C again this morning but now subsided after another dose of paracetamol. So he’s more or less back to his usual squirmy bossy self wtf.

I on the other hand diarrhea again wtf so I’m camping out in the toilet next door to the clinic. Fml.

  • Nov 21, 2014

Fml la been having diarrhea ever since we got here. Fatty’s fine so I have no idea what I ate?!!!

Anyway I’m camping in a Starbucks toilet now wtf. So scared I wouldn’t make it in time WTF sorry hahahaha. Luckily nobody asked me to buy a drink first cos I’d probably have thrown something at them. 😳

  • London, 17 Aug 2015

One spaghetti carbonara two nights ago resulted in diarrhea for two days wtf but only in the morning jeng jeng.

  • Pregnant, 28 Oct 2014

Anyway I had two horrific AudSuay incidents just today. 😩

First was I was in the toilet having diarrhea wtf (chili pan mee for dinner) and a rat ran out from the shower drain WTF FML.

  • Suet’s wedding day, July 2016

Oh I’m very good at diarrhea-ing wtf. I may have undiagnosed irritable bowel syndrome or something cos I get diarrhea very frequently. It’s usually not too bad do I just put up with it and don’t do anything.

– 2014

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    • 2016

 

 

    • Screen Shot 2016-11-13 at 3.05.25 PM

 

 

 

I am not afraid to admit I have digestive issues wtf.  I’ve always been prone to diarrhea my entire life. (Think how bad I had it when I was in school and had to poop frequently in my government school toilet T_T) Sometimes it’s because I ate something spicy, or something dairy, or sometimes I just don’t even know what triggers it.  

I’ve tried isolating my diet to see if it’s lactose intolerance or something specific but never could figure it out.  I probably have undiagnosed IBS la (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).

I’m very used to it so I don’t really do anything about my diarrhea; I normally just wait until it passes…. but not when it comes to traveling. T_____T I get diarrhea so often and so unpredictably, that the day before I travel I usually stick to clear, bland foods in case I lau sai next day on the plane/car/roadside wtf.

I remember when I was 12, my family was traveling around the US… and suddenly on the tour bus I really had to poop wtf.  My poor Fat Her had to run around trying to find a toilet before I lau sai on his shoes really FOL.

So the question is….

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WHY HAS NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS BEFORE?

Smecta is the enemy of diarrhea wtf.  It’s a product of France which not only stops watery poo, it also treats diarrhea, which apparently is not something all anti-diarrhea meds does.

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Smecta is actually a sort of clay that treats diarrhea and other gastro-intestinal discomforts.  Its unique structure is able to absorb the toxin and clear it from the system.  It also protects the intestinal mucosa layer so that nutrient absorption is less affected during diarrhea.

I got this for my kids to add to our first aid kit for when we travel cos… yep it’s suitable for babies and children.  

For kids, you can give them up to 4 sachets a day for 3 days.  Although it should be fine for babies less than a year old, please consult a doctor first before starting the course.  Adults can take up to 6 sachets a day.  

Just mix the sachet with water or milk and consume.   If you’re wondering about the taste, Smecta is known to have a slight muddy taste though (because of the clay) but it’s flavored orange-vanilla to mask it.  Penny and Fighter don’t have a problem drinking it. :)

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Smecta is sold by the box or the packet; I find the box a little too many packets at one go (30 packs) but buying pack by pack is just tiresome.  Solution is …you can ask your pharmacist to pack how many packets you want for you – Smecta produces a special dispensing bag for pharmacies for this!

2016-11-13_09-45-07 So this is what’s in my toddlers’ traveling bag. The bee traveling bag is actually a giveaway by Smecta via lucky draw if you take part in their survey *HERE*!

Anyway…. it’s phone charger (mine wtf in case no battery), toys and books for their entertainment, tissue and wet wipes, a snack, sanitizer and mosquito spray, and Smecta. (as well as stuff like paracetamol, thermometer, asthma inhaler, etc

Got the Smecta as a precaution for the kids… but I think Imma use it the most often FML hahahaha.  

Check out their website here.

This post was written in collaboration with Smecta.

AudEmo

Bersih 5.0

So we made it for Bersih 5.

The truth is, I wasn’t feeling very enthused about it this time round.

And from the very subdued social media posts we saw, it seemed like everyone else felt the same.  Lethargic, tired of seemingly working for no results.  Or maybe it just wasn’t cool anymore to care about the country.

I felt sort of the same. Tired that we were beating the same drum with no obvious changes.

And more, I felt this.  Because last year’s Bersih was very much majority Chinese, I felt defeated.  The Malay population was much subdued because of PAS pulling out and it really crushed me.  Why are not more of them bothered about fairness, clean elections and corruption?

I will be very honest here.  We are very comfortable and therefore you could say we belong to the upper middle class.  If this country goes down, we will still be fine.  We have the financial ability, skills and position to flee the country and settle elsewhere if we need to. The majority don’t.  If Malaysia goes down, they go down with her.  So why are we trying to fight for a better country, but other citizens whose futures are probably more dependent on Malaysia’s wellbeing are not?

So I honestly didn’t plan on going.  But this morning, my mother in law told us she was going, and who’s with her?

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So hi. Here we are hahahaha. I have to say that it’s much easier for us to attend Bersih cos we live right in the city la.  So when we got to Jalan Raja Chulan, we saw this.

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A wave of people walking down Raja Chulan.

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Everyone was heading towards KLCC from Dataran Merdeka I think, which was the new meeting place cos of all the roadblocks.

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There were a lot of people sure.  But it wasn’t as many as last year’s Bersih crowd.  We decided to go along to KLCC with everyone else.

It was all very peaceful.  Everyone was marching (or strolling) along maybe breaking into cheers or chants, but nothing uncivilized.

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Construction workers were cheering us on as we marched!

At another point, I heard a loud tooting to the tune of a familiar jingle.  Everyone started cheering and I gazed around trying to find the source of it.  Turns  out it was the LRT train on the track above us tooting its horn to show us some support. HAHAHAHA SO CUTE.

IMG-20161119-WA0035 Got to KLCC! Looks like a lot but still not really.  At this point, Fatty, who’s still recovering from stomach foo, decided he had to go or else he’d shit his pants at Bersih HAHAAHAHAH. We visualized memes and headlines such as…

Bersih tak bersih

or

Najis makes an appearance at Bersih

or

Things in Malaysia are getting really shitty….

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. So we started to make our way back home.  From KLCC we walked along Jalan Ampang. And there we saw it.

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Wave after wave of people in yellow shirts walking towards us.

The crowd we had seen at KLCC wasn’t the full one.  It wasn’t even half of it.  

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Throngs of people were walking towards us! IMG-20161119-WA0038What we thought was just ‘that group’ over at KLCC was being joined by all these other people walking over from other parts of the city.  They were all converging on KLCC as the main meeting point.

People use the word ‘awesome’ all the time but if there ever was a time to use it, it’s now.  As we walked against the grain, we just saw wave after wave of cheerful, cheering people of all races dressed in yellow.  All for a cause we all believe in. If you look at the photo above, the yellow stream of people stretched all the way to the literally where the eye can see!

We didn’t stay for the rest of the rally (cos Fatty turtle head already wtf).

I’ve written over the years about Bersih but this time I notice myself that my blog post is sounding a lot more subdued and less optimistic and passionate.  Chalk it up to hopelessness, to old age, to a feeling of depletion even.

I don’t know if what we’re doing is even working, besides maybe embarrassing Najib on an international arena.  Honestly I’d rather spend my Saturday nuah sai-ing at home or spending time with my kids than slog around in sweltering weather getting blisters on my feet cos I was too lazy to wear socks wtf.

From a self-centered POV, what reason do I really have to attend Bersih? I don’t gain anything from it personally.  My life does not improve.  It’s only for pure love of the country.  But if there’s one chance that this may effect change, if it’s so easy for me to get to the rally, I’ll still force myself to do it.

Thank you to all the Malaysians who went today.

AudEmo

As a mother in Malaysia in the wake of a Trump win

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Yesterday I was devastated.  As updates of the US elections poured in, the stone in my chest got heavier and heavier.  

America has always had a soft spot in my heart, having studied there for four years.  I knew the US has its flaws course, but I also believed their leaders have more honor (and more checks and balances) than ours.  I created this image in my head of it, perhaps due to pop culture and gorgeously crafted political speeches, and definitely due to the wonderful friends I’d made and the people I met there.  Whatever racist bullshit happened in Malaysia (which is all the time), I’d bitterly compare it to the US and think it would never happen there. Today, I woke up with a different perspective.  

While I myself cannot fathom voting for a man who has been known to be so explicitly racist, misogynistic, untruthful and hateful, I would like to think that maybe this is not just about people rooting for racism and hate. I understand that there are others whose shoes I will never even know who may have different circumstances, priorities and needs than I and while I seriously disagree with their choice, I will try not to judge them.

That said, I am grieving for a world in which a Donald Trump presidency exists.  The thing is, I don’t even really believe that Trump meant all the outlandish things he said – about women, people of color, LGBT, Muslims, etc.  I think he was just saying shit to be controversial and get attention. And I think the media bias has definitely played a large role in magnifying this frightening persona of his, compared to any more moderate opinions he may have.

But you see — Donald Trump is known for being this huge outlandish bigot and he’s now the President of the United States.  He is the leader of the arguably the most powerful country in the world and his speech is peppered with slurs and intolerance and disrespect.  By virtue of example, that suddenly makes it okay to be racist.  To be misogynist.  To attack women on the basis that you think they can’t resist you.

And it’s already happening.

In Wellesley – a women’s college that’s considered a friendly rival to Mount Holyoke, also the alma mater of Hillary Clinton – this happened.

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If it’s acceptable for the  POTUS to be racist, why not the regular people too?

Not just espouse racism and bigotry and intolerance but also perpetuate rape culture.

I despise what Trump stands for.  Although in Malaysia we don’t talk about it often, these issues of bigotry are completely relevant here, maybe even more so.

The silver lining is that this election has given me great resolve.  There are so many things I want to teach our children but this shall be my priority.  That a few bad apples does not a bad community make.  That the color of our skin does not matter the slightest.  That to be different is not a bad thing.

To Fighter, that he must treat women right, not just because he has a mom and a sister, but because they are people and they are equals.  That locker room banter or jokes are an unacceptable excuse for disparaging women.  That he cannot be a Donald Trump is a given, but he cannot be a Billy Bush either.

To Penny, that whatever Koko can do, so can she.  That as Hillary Clinton says,

“Never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams.”

 

 

 

 

 

Audvertorial

SDB Cribs

Last weekend was a first – we attended a Halloween party at a property viewing room.

When I told Fighter we were going to a Halloween party, he said, “I don’t want. Halloween is scary.  It’s so many monsters and grandpires and skellies.” (vampires and skeletons) Hahahaha laugh die me when I realized what he was saying.

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Here’s us with Lina of SDB!  She invited me (and I dragged the whole clan) to view their new showroom which is one of my favorite things to do hahahah thanks Lina.

SDB (Selangor Dredging Berhad) is launching a new property in Sg Buloh.  It’s a SOVO (which stands for Small Office Versatile Office) & Service Apartments.  In layman terms, SOVO is a small office-ish unit suited for small startups.  And Service Apartments are… service apartments!

It’s located along Jalan Sg Buloh and the development is linked directly to the Kampung Selamat MRT station via a 75m link bridge which makes it super convenient! T3T  It also has easy acccess to PLUS, NKVE, LDR, MRR2, SPRINT and Guthrie.  To place it, it’s about 10km away from Sunway Giza, One U, IPC Ikea and the Curve.  And on the way there we passed IGB International School if any parents are interested.

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The property is called Sqwhere (pronounced ‘square’), I think because the spatial planning excellent

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The development is still being built but here’s a site plan of the 1.7 acre elevated forest deck for SOVO and SA owners. It looks so good can!? Just to run you through, 2 = the SA lobby, 3 = Garden Sqwhere, a lush looking piece of green land, which is surrounded on all sides by a amazing looking pool. 7 is a lap pool, 10 is a kiddie pool, and there’s also a kids’ water play area and play area. I am so jealous. We live in a really old development so there is none of these lifestyle amenities. I’d love more space for the kids to run and play. T_____T Which is why Sqwhere is marketed as great for small families like ours. And why I’m invited to check it out LOLOL. Anyway moving on to the show unit. We visited two – the 2,100+ sq ft, and the 1,500_ sq ft. Our own apartment is 2500 sq ft but the Sqwhere 2,100+ one looks more spacious what sorcery! Actually not sorcery it’s cos of the excellent spatial planning really. SDB brags that no space is wasted and I agree cos I think its space has been maximized so well! DSC03688-01 When you enter, there’s a little foyer inside the door. I think this isn’t too common in condos here and I love it for the little more privacy afforded the home. <3

The striking thing about the layout is this. In most generic condos, when you enter a unit, the unit stretches out long and narrow ahead of you. Sqwhere units open up to both sides making it feel really spacious.

Lemme walk you through. This is the 2,100+ sq ft unit.

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The living area.

IMG-20161103-WA0001-01 Living area is mega spacious!  It’s the sitting area + dining room but opened up so the space is massive.

DSC03673-01 The 2,100+ sq ft unit has 4 rooms + 1 utility /helper’s room and this is one of the guest rooms.  

DSC03674-01 Taking the bed like it’s hers already :X

DSC03677-01 Another room, done up to be a kids’ room.  The kids rushed in and I think if I didn’t ask them to go, they’d probably still be there.

DSC03675-01 Sorry me in the toilet and a judgmental toddler hahahaha.

DSC03681-01 Besides the formal living area, there’s also another family nook, which would be great as a study area too.

DSC03683-01 Master bedroom is a decent size with huge ceiling to floor windows.

DSC03684-01 Another angle of the master.

DSC03685-01 Went back to check on the kids and yep.  Still playing.

DSC03687-01 The kitchen is like an open hallway with counters on both sides, and a doorway at both ends.

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Cabinets, hob, hood and fridge come with the house!

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The kitchen leads to a yard where you can put your washing machine and hang clothes, as well as this utility room that comes with a toilet.  The utility room can be converted into a helper’s room and helper gets her own bathroom!

2016-11-03_12-27-56 Sqhere will be filled with green spaces and sculptures like this for ambience. ^^

We were walking over to the other show unit, for 1,500+ one.

DSC03696-01 The smaller units are all the same kind of layout too!  Come in, enter a foyer, living areas stretched to both sides. The master bedroom here is on the left, while living areas are to the right.

DSC03697-01 This is a much smaller unit so spaces are smaller for sure, but thanks to their space planning, it doesn’t seem cramped either.

DSC03705-02 *sharp intake of breath* Penny get down from there!!!

DSC03699-01 Ok got you down phew.

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From the living area, a corridor leads down to the other three rooms.

DSC03701-01 Another one of the rooms.  

SDB managed to squeeze four rooms into this space but to be honest, I would prefer less rooms which are slightly larger to fit more storage into each.  But these units would be great for families with more members to house.

DSC03709-01 One more of the living area.

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Oh and here’s me and a nervous Fighter hahahaha.  Both the critters kept going ‘yeeee yeee’ when they saw the fake monsters but still want to go near to see.  Then when go near already, they asked to be carried cos scared lolol.

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Do check out the SDB Sqwhere Sales Gallery for a peek at the showrooms.  Registration to purchase is now open!

Click *here* for the SDB website to make an appointment to visit, and for more info.

This post was written in collaboration with SDB.



AudBaby

Things my kids say: Bird fly away

Fighter: Mommy, you need to eat a lot of rice and chicken and vegetables and fish…
Me: Oh, I do?
Fighter: Yea. So you can grow big like Daddy!

(Cos I’m always telling him to eat more so he can grow up and be a big boy)

*

Went out on an errand and received panicky messages from Fatty, telling me that Fighter was crying and going around the house looking for me.  When I went home…

Me: I heard you cried a lot just now. Why?
Fighter: Yea. Because I wanted you mommy. I wanted to go with you but Auntie Nancy said I cannot go out because the bad guy will catch me *does violent hand sweeping action*
Me: ?!
Fighter: Yea and Auntie Nancy don’t know how to drive. So I cannot go out.  I was sad.
Me: Oh I’m sorry darling. I went to see a school for you.  It’s a school for big boys and big girls.
Fighter: I’m a big boy now!
Me: Yes it’s for when you’re even bigger.
Fighter: Is it I’m in N2? (4 years old)

Fighter: Next time you cannot go out mommy.  Or else you have to sleep on the road.

*

Told him I have to get a replacement license cos I lost my driver’s license FML.

Fighter: Why you lost it, mommy? Why?
Me: ….
Fighter: Mommy I borrow your license.
Me: You mean you lend me your license?  Your Legoland license?

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Fighter: Yea.

*

Fighter: I’m going to be adult soon.
Auntie Fayth: You are?
Fighter: Yea. Like you. I’m going to be taller.
Me: So what are you going to do when you’re an adult? Fighter: Drink coffee. Yea. And eat spicy noodles.

*

Took Fighter to pee in school before class starts.  Their toilet cubicles have little curtains instead of doors.

Fighter: Mommy. Please close the curtain or else everybody can see my bird.
Me: ok

Because I closed the curtain, I couldn’t reach him.  And he missed aim and peed all over his undies, pants and even socks FML.

Me: Oh no! How come you peed on yourself!?
Fighter: Because I didn’t hold my bird. Because I don’t want it fly away.

*

I was exercising in my room when Fighter and Penny barged in.  I happened to be wearing yoga pants and a sports bra.

Fighter: Mommy, I don’t want you to wear like this. Because you shame shame.

*

Before bedtime.

Fighter: I want Mommy sleep with me
Fatty: How about Daddy? Can Daddy sleep with you?
Fighter: No, cannot. Because you are too big.  Mommy is small because she didn’t eat enough.

*

Had a dinner with some friends so while Fighter was drinking his milk, I sneaked out of the house.  Apparently he cried for ages looking for me. T______T The next morning..

Fighter: Mommy, yesterday I very sad.  I cry because I wanted you.
Me: I’m so sorry.  I didn’t want to tell you I went out because I didn’t want to make you cry.
Fighter: Where you go Mommy?
Me: I went to eat dinner.
Fighter: Can I go? I want to eat dinner.  I will be a good boy.

*

The next time I had a dinner, I tried to prepare him instead of sneaking out.

Me: Jude, Mommy’s going to put you to bed then I’m going to go for dinner, ok?
Fighter: Where you going? *lip trembling
Me: I’m going to eat dinner. I haven’t eaten yet you know, and I’m very hungry.
Fighter: No! Don’t go for dinner! Sleep with me!
Me: But I’m so hungry. You already ate but I haven’t eaten cos I was waiting for you. Fighter: Ok but you eat downstairs in the kitchen. Don’t go out.

*

In the car on the way to drop Fighter off at school.  Penny is with us too so he knew we were going out after.

Fighter: Where you going?
Me: I’m going to go buy milk and diapers for you guys ok?
Fighter: No! Don’t go yet! Because I go to school first.  When I finish my work in school, I will come back and buy milk for you.
Me: ok *lying

I obviously ignored him and went grocery shopping.   Picked him up after, and when we got home, I unloaded the groceries from the trunk.

Fighter: !!! What’s that?
Me: Uh. Groceries.
Fighter: No I told you don’t go yet! I’m still working in school!

*

Fighter is taking his bath.

Fatty: Fighter, what’s that? *pointing at his little one
Fighter: No no! Don’t touch my bird!
Fatty: I didn’t. But why not?
Fighter: Because if you touch my bird, my bird will fly away. *points to the sky
Fatty: I see.
Fighter: And then I will become a girl.

*

Fighter: Mommy, I like girls with long hair.

*

Fighter: Don’t touch my bird, Baby. Later my bird fly away.

*

Fighter: Mommy, I’m a big boy.
Me: Yea but you have to drink more milk and eat more vegetables so you can be an even bigger boy.
Fighter: Is it then I can marry? Is it big boy can marry big girl?
Me: Yes. Who do you want to marry?
Fighter: (thinks) Gemma!
Me: Gemma? Do you like Gemma or Kate?
Fighter: I like Gemma and Kate. That’s why I marry them.

#polygamy

*

In the car.  The radio is on. It’s a Justin Bieber song.

Fighter: what song izzis?
Me: It’s called Love Yourself.
Fighter: Is it Love Jude?
Me: …uh I guess.
Fighter: And Penny!

*

Fighter sees Penny holding a toy he thinks is his.

Fighter: Baby!!!! No!!!! (tries to snatch it)
Penny: NUH!!!! (holds it out of reach)

*

Fighter to Penny (putting on his shoes): See you later Baby! I go out first.

*

Fighter: Jude has a bird! Baby has no bird.
Me: Yes Baby has no bird.  Why doesn’t Baby have a bird?
Fighter: Because Baby’s bird fly away.

*

Trying to teach Penny how to say I love you.

Me: Penny, say “I”.
Penny: Aiiiii
Me: Love.
Penny: Waaaaa
Me: You.
Penny: Yuuuu
Me: I love you.
Penny: Ta ta ta.

*

When she puts on a shirt that she likes.

Penny: Dada! (how she calls nanny) I yike I yike. (I like I like)

*

When we make her put on a shirt she doesn’t like.

Penny: No. No. No why. (don’t want)
Penny: (taking shirt and stuffing it under a chair) Hide. Hide.

*

Playing with her Peppa Pig doll.

Penny: (pinching Peppa’s curly pig tail) Bird. Koko bird.

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Life without these two would be so lame. Hahahaha.

Uncategorized

Being a badass in NYC

For years now I thought I’d outgrown my suayness.  So much so that my AudSuay category on my my blog has been neglected lolol.  I attribute it to the fact that besides actual bad luck, most of my suayness comes from me being impulsive, not thinking things through or being just plain careless wtf.  So when motherhood arrived, I think I subconsciously leveled up and became more responsible.

And my suayness dropped!  I thought wah I really grown up already, responsible adult and all.  When I met Angela after having Fighter, I even told her I’m serious now and don’t laugh as much WTF.  I don’t know what delusions I was operating on la cos she met me and told me I’m crazy obviously because I am exactly the same hahahaahha.

Well. I now know the reason why.

When I’m around my kids and Fatty, I’m fully in Mom/Wife mode.

But when I’m by myself… I go to shit wtf.

Ok la not as dramatic as that hahaha but when I’m by myself, I subconsciously let my guard down…. and the stupidity comes back. Hahahaha.

Ok why all this soliloquy?  It’s cos I was pretty amazed by all the stupid incidents that happened New York that normally NEVER happen to me now!

Incident 1: Shopping at Target

Okay la this one not rooted in stupidity but just shopaholicness wtf.  When I was in college, my favorite hangout place was Target FML.  There wasn’t much to do near Mount Holyoke especially when I didn’t have a car so every week I’d take the shuttle bus to the mall and spend my time in F21 and Target lolol.  Target is awesome man.  Got everything under the sun – for me as a college student, it was dorm stuff, snacks and makeup.

So when we got to NYC I told Sieu Ee that we must go to Target!  I googled for the nearest Target and called for an Uber.

We were staying on the Upper East Side and I vaguely wondered why the ride took quite long.

When we finally got there, we were surprised to find that we were the only two Asians there.  Because everyone else was Black wtf. :X

Upon further googling, I found that we had gone to Harlem HAHAAHHA.  And later on when I met a friend from MHC who’s living in New York now, she told me she didn’t even know there was a Target in NYC WTF.  No wonder when I walked around Manhattan I never came across Target la wtf.

I don’t know if Target is a more suburban thing?  Or that New Yorkers just don’t shop at Target but now I know hahahaha.

Well don’t say shopping doesn’t teach you new things hahahha.

And we managed a lot of loot!  Got a lot of nice kids clothes off the sales rack some more at like USD 1-4 each ok damn worth traveling to Harlem hahahaaha.  Good experience, good experience.

Incident 2: Jumping trains

Um.  Even now as I’m typing this, I’m having doubts if I should write this.  Cos uh I suspect this may be illegal wtf.

But ok the story is. We were hanging around in Soho one day. By hanging around I mean shopping at Nordstrom Racks wtf.  We were just about to head back to get ready for a dinner with Sieu Ee’s family when it suddenly started pouring.

We’d planned to get an Uber but due to the rain, the jam looked bad from Waze.  And there was a subway entrance right outside Nordstrom.

At this point I hadn’t figured out the subway system yet (last trips I either blindly followed Fatty or blindly followed Angela/Angela’s cousin wtf) and I was the old hand at NYC compared to Sieu Ee. But we had no choice.  It was getting late, the rain didn’t look like it was going to stop, and there was no Uber to be found.

We made a mad dash through the rain to the subway station. Then the weirdest thing.  We hurried down the stairs to the station to find…. No ticketing machines????? WTF Union Square?

There was only a row of turnstiles that everyone was breezing through, and an exit door. How?? We cannot go up into the rain again because rain la duh.  But we cannot stay here forever either.  Sieu Ee stood there stupefied.

So I took action.  The next person who came out the exit door, I darted and held the door open and slipped in myself. :X  I looked for Sieu Ee and she was standing all the way the other side FFS looking blur hahahaha.  I had to shout to her and ask her to come. *adrenalin

She obviously has a lot more brains than me cos she was like, “Cannot! This is the exit!”

And I was like “Can! No choice! Maybe we can go in and find someone or a counter or something so we can buy tickets!”

There must be a way to get tickets, I thought.  There wasn’t wtf.

All the while, Sieu Ee was muttering about being deported or not allowed to come back to the US ever again, whilst looking around for security cameras. Hahahahaha sounds funny now but at that time I was getting quite scared too.

In the end I made the executive decision that we should get on the train because nowhere else to go!  I reasoned if we can’t find an attendant here, maybe we’d find one at the destination. When we got to our station…. no attendant either wtf.  And there were turnstiles.  So I just turned one… and left the building wtf. So that was the day we became criminals wtf.

Errrr NYPD or FBI if you’re googling this, uh please don’t arrest me wtf. I confess! I have your money I am more than willing to pay for my subway ticket!!! I am not a dishonest person!!!!

Incident 3: The Homeless Man

This is nothing.  Except that when we were walking somewhere near Times Square I didn’t see a homeless man in my path and kicked over his cup of coins. T_______T Shit I felt soooo horrible and of course I helped him to pick everything up.  Considered giving him some money to make up for it but I didn’t have change besides pennies like a bit insulting right FML.  And FHL too wtf luckily he was very okay about it.

Ok now the stories are off my chest, let’s move on to photos!  I just wanted to enjoy NYC this time around without worrying about social media so I didn’t take out my phone and camera that much this time.  So these are all random shots from everywhere.

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Met up with a friend from Moho, Aileen!  I haven’t seen her ever since graduation and she’s a couple years behind but it was so good to see her again and gossip about everyone else lolol.   IMG_20160911_113250Christian Louboutin in Sephora.  Super overpriced sorry this auntie cannot stomach.

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Shake Shack!!!!

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Our first meal in New York ermagerd damn good.

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Top is available on Azorias now hahaha. IMG_20160916_104920

A steel structure that used to be a part of the WTC.

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My hair outside someone’s brownstone. Hahahaha.

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OMG I know these book stalls are all from big stores but I love the abundance of literature in NYC!  Actually in London also la.  I think I said before but I would love to open a bookstore slash cafe here but I don’t think anyone reads enough for that wtf.

Bought a couple of books even though I can probably find them in Kinokuniya here wtf but books are awesome souvenirs! Just buy the appropriately themed book for wherever you are.  Like I bought an F Scott Fitzgerald one here but in London I bought one on Tower of London… and another one on Hitler wtf.

/end nerd talk

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Bought the prettiest Bare Minerals liquid matte lip color.  It’s called Frenemy.  But I came back to KL and realized Sephora has stopped selling Bare Minerals here!?

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Open salmon sandwich when our Airbnb host bought lunch for us.  Shit la the way he treats us makes me feel like a terrible Airbnb host now hahahaah. IMG_20160916_144016 Fruit tart for dessert.  My dessert palate is slowly expanding! (last time only ice cream) IMG_20160911_172512

Pasta at Babbo, a Mario Batali restaurant.  You cannot hope to get a spot and you have to book months in advance cos it’s sooo popular.  So being kiasu tourists, we went there at 4.45 pm before the restaurant opens and became their first customers WTF.  We had dinner at 5 pm hahaahah.

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With Lay See who was also in NYC at the same time. ^^

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Took a walk in Washington Square Park after dinner only to kena cheated by this man into paying for his stupid drawings he made us.  I knew it already!  But Sieu Ee and Lay See stopped to watch him so we kena sucked into his scam wtf. IMG-20160911-WA0020 Still happy hahahaha.  

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Japanese lunch one of those days. IMG-20160915-WA0015Also met up with a reader Amanda!  Who’s studying at NYU. :)  She happily tagged along when we were Target-ing and helped us to carry our bags some more hahaaha.

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Didn’t go in but Fatty and I had tea here the last time.  Found it was just two blocks away from our Airbnb. :) IMG-20160913-WA0011Sieu Ee being very amazed at the portion sizes.

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Word. IMG_20160916_181200OMG hello ramen man.

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Best ramen I’ve ever had. <333333

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At Totto Ramen! IMG_20160914_205849Foie gras at Daniel.
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Caught Book of Mormon again. (first time was last year in London) Even better the second time cos I know all the songs and jokes already! 

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Gucci florals at Woodbury. IMG_20160911_190449

This was cool.  An artist set up  a blank canvas and paint in Washington Sq Park and invited people to get creative.  And he was filming the process.

I asked him what this was about and he said he was just stumped for ideas and just wanted to see what people would come up with.  Actually I kept going up to him and asking questions that I don’t know if he just thought I was flirting badly fml.

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Shack Shack menu.  Bottom right is a menu for dogs omg too cute. IMG_20160911_152159 Thank you New York City, you’ve been awesome. :)

Audvertorial

Are you sleeping?

You know what I found out?

Beds are like the Titanic; once they sink they’re useless. #badjoke

Hahahahahahah sorry my joke is really damn bad! But true leh, that was the problem we had with our mattress.

Before we got married, Fatty went out and bought a new king sized mattress.  This was… at most seven years ago?

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About one of two years ago, we noticed this.  A big dent on one side of the bed.  To be precise, on Fatty’s side of the bed. :X  The bed say he fat one ah, not me! Apparently we’re supposed to flip the mattress every 6 months to prevent sagging. But I did not know this.   I never had any problems with my beds for 20+ years of my life and never had to flip my mattress ever.  So I don’t know why ours developed this hole – is it really cos Fatty is heavy or what? :X Anyway I was very angry cos I thought mattresses are supposed to last longer than this anyway.   So I jumped at the chance to try out Dreamland’s Chiro range. Dreamland is a homegrown mattress brand who pioneered spring mattresses in Malaysia. Then they incorporated the Miracoil technology in their mattresses – to produce their Chiro range.   The Chiro range is meant to – as the name suggests – protect your back.  Our old mattress was actually too soft – it felt great to sit on, but it wasn’t the best choice for our backs FOL.  And since we got it in our 20s it was fine, but as the years past we started to really feel the strain hahahaha.   So we went for the Dreamland Chiro Superior 1. 2016-10-09 01.14.18 1 It comes with a layer of Miracoil springs for back support and the mattress fabric has been treated with anti-bed bugs, anti-mosquito and anti-bacteria properties. Miracoil is touted as the world’s most advanced spring system.  The springs are tempered with heat to ensure the spring units stay in shape. Springs are also coiled together more closely in the middle of the mattress for better back support since our spines lie in the center of the bed. The result is a non-sagging, less lumpy and highly durable mattress.   Which is why it says its a Non Flip Design which means no need to remember to flip!!!! Warranty of 10 years of course.  2016-10-09 01.14.19 5 2016-10-09 01.14.19 3 One thing I noticed is that this mattress is much thicker than our old one!  The extra height looks more luxe even if it makes climbing down the bed a bit harder for me, Fighter and Penny hahahahaha. 2016-10-09 01.14.21 2 Set up the mattress and put on sheets and our comforters and ta dah! 2016-10-09 01.14.19 1 We’ve been sleeping on this new bed for about a month now.  And first it took some getting used to cos I was really accustomed to our old softer mattress.  But now I love that this mattress is solid.   2016-10-09 01.14.21 1 It’s firm but it’s not hard so it’s still comfy while sleeping.  And it’s so stable that …. ok basically Fatty has this bad habit of going to the toilet in the middle of the night then coming back and JUMPING on to the bed WTF.  So the bed sure shake la right wtf.  And I sure get awakened.   But with this bed no such problem hahahaha.  It doesn’t transfer movement at all so I sleep through the night (except when a critter cries FML). The reason why is the extra layer of pocket springs on top of the Miracoil springs.  This layer disperses movement so there’s less partner disturbance felt. ^^

2016-10-09 01.14.20 1The kids love it also.  They have a habit of climbing up on to our bed and jumping on it. -_- This bed is higher so they damn clever ok they’ll push a stool against it and climb on the stool wtf.  And then jump on it. :X

So luckily got the 10 year warranty la hahahaahha.

2016-10-09 01.14.19 2If you’re looking for a new bed, do check out the Dreamland Chiro range! Click *here* for their website, Facebook and YouTube.

To help you on your way to an awesome new bed, Dreamland is giving away vouchers worth RM200-1,000 off a mattress purchase.  Click *here* to print out the vouchers and bring them to the nearest dealer.  Promo period: now until 30 th November 2016.

This post was written in collaboration with Dreamland.