You can all line up and shoot me when I’m done, but listen to this first.
This time last year I was whining about how I’m getting fatter and fatter until everybody wanted to stone me to death then mutilate my genitals, while screaming that if I’m fat then they’re blue whales.
I take it all back. [...]
If reading that article about the drug raid recently that the innocent people were locked up and money taken from them is not enough, I had to listen to this story from Chung Jia Min and get all pissed at the Malaysian police force, with no good outlet cos I’m all the fucking way over [...]
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA.
I am the happiest person on Earth. Possibly even happier than the people directly involved.
I was rudely awakened this morning by a call from Darren Tan telling me to check my email because there was good news in it.
I asked in my manly voice what good news could there possibly be, thinking that the [...]
It’s not fun when you go out dancing and a short guy with oily hair tries to chat you up.
It’s even more not fun when the guy has buck teeth.
And when the same guy is actually shorter than you even though you happen to be wearing sneakers. Let me repeat, I am fourfeetnine and [...]
I’m back from an invigorating jog up and down 5 flights of stairs.Yes, bladdy shit, the fire alarm went off again.
Buffoons! Imbeciles!
You dahlah know the fire alarm at Ham (where I stay la) is freaking sensitive that even if you breathe on it it will go off!!!
What on earth possessed you to use the [...]
