The other day at my health checkup, the doctor told me I had to:
a) gain weight
FUCKIN MOSQUITOS IN MY ROOM HERE I COME WITH THE RACKET
No mosquitos to be found/zapped despite thorough racket waving around my room. Damnation. Very dissatisfied and itchy.
Anyway, the doctor said I had to exercise to increase bone density so I could avoid osteoporosis in my old age.
I am very afraid of this! Actually I am scared of all classes of diseases and my number one feared disease is diabetes.
Cos I have seen my grandmother inject herself with insulin everyday and it scares the bejesus out of me ok!
2nd most feared disease is Alzheimers. Which we suspect my other grandmother has got.
(wow what a gene pool wtf)
So last Sunday I coaxed Tim to go jogging with me. (and thank goodness nobody else as you will see later)
Put on a tshirt, put on my shorts. Tied up my hair with a no nonsense rubber band.
Hunted around for a pair of sneakers. Found an obscure pair of fuchsia Tommy Hilfiger shoes bought during the phase when every single item of clothing I had had to be pink. Totally forgot about them!
Put them on, waved bye to skeptical mother and followed Tim out of the house.
Ran to the end of the road.
I thought I might die.
How do people do this? And how do they do it for fun!
I wanted to give up right there but I didn’t want Tim to think I was a useless wimp! (what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him wtf)
So we kept running for about 20 torturous minutes.
Sorry more like he ran and I walked fast wtf.
He literally ran circles around me. He’d run then jog on the spot while waiting for me to catch up. Then he would run around me while I struggled with my life.
Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and suggested that we headed over to the park. Tim continued to run around the park while I sat on the swing and contemplated taking my life waited for oxygen to seep back into my cells.
Tried swinging myself for a bit but felt ten kinds of nausea so I decided we should head home.
I guess I could live with an easily shattered bone or two.