AudSocialButterfly AudSuay

Fortune teller at Central Market sucks monkey ass

I have been dreading writing this post.

But I feel an urge to remind people of what stupidity can do when it stays in your head wtf.

When Angela was here, we happened to talk about fortune tellers, and the fact that both Angela’s and Wombeh’s parents had taken them to fortune tellers when they were kids.

Angela and Wombeh are my two favorite people in the world!  And based on what had happened in their lives so far, their fortune tellers seemed to have made amazingly accurate predictions!

Also, my two favorite people are also the two smartest, achieving, near perfect people I know, and their fortune tellers had also apparently told them both that they would be very successful in whatever would form their lives later *sticks close to them WTF

So I started wondering how come my parents never took me to a fortune teller? It can’t be because I am not loved because I can tell you I am wtf.

So we went to Central Market one day to get Angie some local souvenirs…

And I saw a fortune teller shop there !

Deprived of childhood predictions of my life, I (as usual, made split second suckass decisions) decided to go for it wtf.

And let me tell you it was a SUCKASS decision T____T

See the man up there?

His name is Master Chin (or something like that)

And he’s the worst fortune teller in the world. Master Chin might as well change his name to Master Cheat wtf.

I really cannot believe I parted with RM90 just to hear shit predictions about myself.  Actually not even predictions.  More like saying a lot of random disconnected shit and hoping he’d get something right WTF.

But in my defense, I was thinking how bad could he be?  Even if the fortune teller doesn’t have real powers, I thought most of them would be pretty good at reading you just by looking at you and your behavior and would still come up with fairly insightful statements.

And he offered me a money back guarantee if I wasn’t satisfied.

But call me chicken or what but I thought even if he said that, if I wanted my money back, it would be very hard to get it back already cos like it or not, I had already accepted his service.  So I went into it with no expectations of getting anything back *resigned.  And anyway I still thought how bad can he be wtf.

Well he surpassed all expectations wtf.

He asked me to write my birthdate down.  And Suet said when I wasn’t looking, he surreptitiously looked at a horoscope chart beside him to determine my horoscope WTF.

Then he told me that I was very scientific WTF. And that I liked building things WTF.

Errr I have never felt any interest in engineering or architecture or anything connected to science and building.

He saw my confused face and quickly said “you like doing social work. You like doing charity and helping people.”

(possibly true…but it’s also the total opposite of what he just said.  And it’s actually just a generic description of what alot of horoscopes say about Aquarians)

Cheating scumbag fortune teller: But you’re very extreme. You have a very very bad temper.

Suet & Angela: No! She doesn’t have a temper at all!

Cheating scumbag fortune teller: I’m talking to your friend, not you.

Me: Ya actually it’s true I don’t get angry wan.

Cheating scumbag fortune teller: I said you’re extreme. You either have a very bad temper or no temper at all.

WTF.

And it went on like that T___________T

He went on to say that I am very hardworking (which he probably thinks is what everyone thinks about themselves) but I know for a fact that I am damn lazy WTF.

And that I would get married in 2 or 3 or 4 years.  Wah so many choices how to decide. Of course la, he knows I’m in my mid 20s chances are that any girl my age would get married within the next few years!

Then he moved on to tarot cards and according to Suet you’re supposed to open only 3 cards or something? But he opened like 6 WTF.  He opened like a sun card and then a moon card and spouted something contradicting about them both.

Actually I don’t know why I listened to the whole thing.  Maybe part of me wanted very badly to believe and I was looking for the truth in what he was saying.  Maybe I was concentrating on what he was saying too hard.

maybe I was just stupid haihhhh T_________T

And maybe I was a bit scared of him FML.

Suet & Angela weren’t though!  They got very angry on behalf of me and scolded him very loudly and demanded my money back T3T Seriously they were so brave lor!

He scolded them back and said “Your friend never complain why you complain?” and kicked us out of his shop WTF.

I didn’t really think that I would get my money back anymore which is why I didn’t say anything but then I felt really really bad that my friends got yelled at just because they were standing up for me T_______T

(Throughout the whole thing Suet and Angie kept piping up and correcting him and he kept telling them to keep quiet wtf)

The more I thought about it the angrier I got so I went back to the shop and told him I was only giving him face by not asking for my money back.  But in actual fact, all his predictions sucked and weren’t true at all.  And that my friends were only helping me so why should he scold people like that.

He defensively said that they disturbed him at work WTF but I said whatever they’re still my friends and I am his customer so he has no right to scold and he’s being damn rude.

Then he apologized and offered to shake my hand and told me to have a nice life WTF.

When I walked out I found Angela and Suet cornering tourists outside and telling them not to visit Master Chin / Master Cheat because he cheated my money and then kicked us out WTF.  The tourists had fake smiles on their faces and were edging away FOL.

So anyway that’s my pathetic story about getting cheated by a scumbag fortune teller T______T

But what would I have done without Suet and Angela I love you two T_____T

Think if Wombeh was there he’d knock in Master Chin’s dentures too ^_^

So please remember this asshole fortune teller and don’t ever go there ok!  Tell your friends! Spread this link around even better.

Put his picture again for good measure. How can he live to this age cheating people.

Anyway some pictures of that day…

My saviors *big shiny eyes

Aud & Angie

Lunch was Klang bak kut teh with Pierre & Lay See (who btw now have a beautiful baby girl congrats Mr Mrs Pang!)

Doctor Fish WTF.

Fish spa which totally made up for getting screwed by the fortune teller.

RM5 for 10 minutes and that’s actually all you need!

After that for two weeks my feet felt incredibly smooth and soft cos all the dead skin was removed!

Damn ticklish though! I slapped my thigh cos I laughed too much doing the fish spa wtf.

Forced  other customers to take pictures of us.

Before doing it ourselves and succeeding ^^

We were supposed to go to Batu Caves after that but it started to rain heavily. So we settled for Pavilion.

Suet was doing a peace sign but she looks like she’s nagging someone hahahaha.

Matching outfits!

Angela’s motto wtf.

Angela & Wombeh & random couple behind.

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Ah Quah WTF.

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The 3 of us!

(did they both suddenly get alot taller)

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Group picture!  Plus a double chin!

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Angela’s zipper broke WTF.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH we were in the Pavilion bathroom and I was in one of the stalls when I heard Angela cry “Aud! Suet! I need help with my zipper.”

I came out to see Suet struggling with Angela’s shorts zipper because the zipper broke WTF HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Angela says she’s always had very good luck when she’s away from me wtf so some might conclude I have the luck of the damned.

But zipper can repair wan don’t worry! *waves hand

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More shameless pics.

Suet and I can’t wink so we end up with similar expressions.

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Normal picture!

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Can this picture get any cuter WTF.

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Kthxbai.

Oh remember to tell everyone about Master Chin / Master Cheat! Some people might say that I should have known better but aih look on the bright side, at least now you have a primary source that he’s a lying cheating scumbag wtf.

Pics taken with Sony Cybershot TX-5!

  • http://www.mochimochihearts.blogspot.com Jay

    Ah I love love love seeing pics of you guys together cos it makes me happy! My bestie is million miles away from me too (met in Japan) but whenever we see each other its like wow life is good again hey.

    xxxxxxxx

  • http://www.wretch.cc/blog/meltsinangie Angie

    YEA SERIOUSLY THAT MASTER CHIN!!! I WANT TO THROW JACKFRUIT ON HIS FACE !!!!!

  • http://www.wretch.cc/blog/meltsinangie Angie

    btw .. in the pink motto picture my button fell off already FML

  • tze

    angela and wombeh…. your two favourite people in the world………….. and just the other day….. you said i was your best friend……………………………

    bye.

  • bernice

    whenever i come across any fortune tellers, i always interrogate them on how accurate their results are, what methods do they use, and so forth. but i was never into fortune-telling! the “money back guarantee” is just an empty phrase to lure in customers…

  • bulat

    you have veryvery nice friends ^^

  • http://timothytiah.blogspot.com Boss Stewie

    there there Tze….*pat pat*

  • http://www.kimberlycun.com kimberlycun

    wuahahahaha angela and suet ftw! scold ppl, then kena kicked out and all when i grow up i wanna be like that!

  • mandy

    I like your blog! You have a very pleasant personality. Although I have never met you I really like what you write in each post because I can relate myself to many of your strange encounters. (Trust me, you won’t want to know what sh*t I have gotten myself into sometimes :)) Cheers!

  • lynn

    I love the winking pic!! hahah so adorable! Angie can wink really well.. U and Suet looks like you’ve got constipation but still very cute! =p

  • http://fourfeetnine.com Audrey

    jay: Providence brought us togethe wtf ^^

    angie: how come you know what is jackfruit?!?!?

    tze: did i say i only had two favorite people in this world? wtf

    bernice: i should have talked to you earlier T3T

    bulat: ya i do!

    stewie: *pats wombeh

    kimberlycun: ya so gangsta hahaha they’re the best

    lynn: ya she’s damn good at winking! me and suet just look like we’re suffering hahaha

  • Jia Hui

    Even though you loss 90 bucks, but what you gain was the realization that you have two very good friends who would stand up for you!! I think that’s rare and you are really lucky to have friends like that! 🙂

  • Danielle

    I’m envying you right now Audrey…for being able to pull off yellow!! I always end up looking like a bottle of mustard with yellow.

    And you should’ve whack that old man on his head!! And 90 bucks is quite expensive. Last time I went for a reading, 30 bucks, was told that I’ll have men vying for me, will be a workaholic, thus neglecting my relationships and also I’ll marry late. Me and my friends were laughing our asses off. But it’s been 5 years, and now I realise that there may be some truth to it. Quite creepy.

    Hope you’ll find a better, and cheaper one next time!

  • http://www.victoriablackie.blogspot.com Vicky

    yea yea, mama always tell me not to go for the fortune teller, coz God had decide the way you live, you don’t need to know how it’s gonna be since that’s the way it gonna be, u cant change it even if you know it!

  • http://www.wretch.cc/blog/meltsinangie Angie

    hahahaha jackfruit ghost told me hahahahha

  • http://casleykoh.blogspot.com/ Casley

    its very nice to see that ur friends were standing up for u.. hope i can find friends just like this.. ^^

  • http://fourfeetnine.com Audrey

    jia hui: you’re right 🙂

    danielle: if you’re a workaholic you must be very successful! and i think you’re being too hard on yourself, i’m sure you’d look cute in yellow!

    vicky: yea i was just kepoh T3T

    angie: hahahaha damn lamee

    casley: i’m sure you have friends like that too!

  • http://sweatlee.com sweatlee

    hahahhaha master cheat damn apt ah hahaha. u know what we should do?? protest outside his shop with cardboards saying stuff like master chin is master cheat/ chin what chin, cheat lah you WTF. i would totally do it wtf

    awwwww the pics so nice!!! i miss you and angie already 🙁 when we were together, it felt exactly like 2 yrs ago in college 🙁 *emo max

  • http://www.revel-in-me.blogspot.com hui wen

    I remember the shorts! <3

    Hahahah the master chin’s eyebrows very busy wtf. Busy eyebrows usually make people look evil!!

  • http://fourfeetnine.com Audrey

    sweat: ya i was thinking of that too when i wrote this post!!! should have went out and photocopied a bunch of flyers and give them out WTF. aiya i will see you soon!

    hui wen: oh ya we got them together /boo. EH DON’T YOU MEAN BUSHY AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

  • http://www.sixthseal.com Huai Bin

    Master my ass, come I tell your fortune better. =D

  • http://www.sixthseal.com Huai Bin

    hui wen & Audrey: HAR! *must trim eyebrows

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  • http://www.shaolintiger.com ShaolinTiger

    Hahahahahh ALL fortune tellers suck, but yah this one uber bad. At least most of them are smart enough to say some true things (deduced from your character/manner/dress) and the rest tell you the things you WANT to hear.

  • http://www.wretch.cc/blog/meltsinangie Angie

    HAHAHAHHAHA BUSY HAHAHAHAHAHA

    EI SUET ! I SWEAR TO GOD LAST NIGHT I WAS THINKIN THE SAME THIGN THAT WE SHUD’VE WRITTEN STH LIKE THIS GUY CHEATS MONEY, HE CHEATED MINE FML AND SECRETLY GO POST ON HIS DOOR !!

  • ronin

    Adoi, gullible max! Pls stay away from fortune teller, none can be trusted. We decide our own future not them.

    Interesting experience, nevertheless. I’m sure Master Cheat also regret max, your friends so ganas one!

  • http://kyspeaks.com KY

    me think all fortune tellers are cheats.

  • yumiii

    KESIAN!!! what a horrible horrible liar!!!!! rm90 leh.. T__T so sad to lose that kind of money lidat….

    my parents went to a.. err not quite a fortune teller, i dunno how u call it, but she is the kind who talks about ur past life, present life and future life. apparently i was a man my past life and i had 10 kids wtf. i WAS a hardworking person but one day as i was rowing my boat over the river, fetching a wise man wtf hahah, *i* told him that “I do not want to be a man my next life! It’s so tiring to be a man. I would like to be a woman my next life and have a husband like myself to take care of me and I don’t have to work like this anymore!”

    =____=;; WHO SAY WOMAN NO NEED WORK AND SIT AT HOME MAKAN NASI ONLY!!! Stupid past life-me!!!! T_T i got the recorded tape now coz i was not present during the ‘talk’. as i listen to it now, i find them real funny but at the same time most of the stuff she said are true!!! Yet, the most ridiculous thing she said was that I will become a Datuk/Datin in my 40s…. =__= lets see if that will happen muahahah

  • http://wineactually.tv Wilson Quah

    Y u post me ah quah wtf 1?

    =(

  • http://www.izyahya.com Iz

    My cousin & I went to see that uncle once :p He told my cousin that she will get married at age of 30. And he gave us 4 numbers and asked us to go buy 4D. He said if we win, we must give him 10% hahahaha

    uncle penipu

  • cpl

    the same old man!!!! my friend also kena conned by him at Genting last time~~~kesian

  • senki

    there’ actually one fortune teller in subang(opposite metropolitan college) that look at your bazi. i found it quite accurate, and the master will tell you what elements or zodiac that is missing in your life. And as well telling you to get the zodiac elements(yourself) to enhance your life better. you can of course choose not to believe or take it as a guideline.

  • ahpek

    true bazi consultant do not ask the amount of money from the seeker, they ask for red packet, the amount is the one you like to give. the above is obviously a cheating case, since he first ask money from the seeker… you need luck to meet the real sifu..

  • ahpek

    real Bazi consultant do not ask money from the seeker, they ask for red packet, the amount is your likes, the above one is very obvious a cheating since he first ask seeker for money ,, i open a thread and provide free service in the link http://www.fivearts.net/index.php/topic,12238.168.html last time, but now not anymore.. well, just to say that , you need luck to meet the real sifu…

  • Nicola Spence

    Oh dear. I had to stop reading this. It was like a story written by a child. Also you can end a sentence just with a full stop. It doesn’t need WTF every…. single…. time.