A couple of nights ago I received this extremely offensive and batshit comment on my Instagram.
Wait where did this come from?
I’m not going to lie — her comment pissed me off. If she was trolling she succeeded la hahaha.
Her ignorance, her incoherence, her lack of understanding, her judgmentalism (is that a word wtf). I wanted to reply her but to be honest I didn’t even know where to begin cos she was so off she might as well be in outer space wtf.
This is what I replied. Very angrily I might add.
But there’s actually a lot more I’d like to say to her. She has since deleted her Instagram/changed her username although I cautioned my readers not to flame her, but I’m pretty sure she’s still reading my Dayre and blog.
So here’s an open letter to her.
Dear @Shirlingaling/ @S.Lingaling,
You are right, a LOT of moms read my Instagram and Dayre, and you know what? Nobody agrees with you; in fact, we all agree that everything you’ve said is all in your mind, a pure figment of your imagination.
From your comment, you must not be a mother yourself. If you were a mother there is no way you would pass such a judgmental presumptuous statement, much less to another mom. Your ignorance is shocking which is why I feel the need to write this for you (and for anyone else ignorant and brazen enough to say what you did).
Just by looking at my blog, Dayre and IG, you calculated the level of love I have for my daughter and judged me for not being loving enough. Pray, enlighten me what formula you used to measure “love” as viewed on social media as that is really quite magical! Scientists all over the world would love to know, I’m sure.
You concluded I must not love my daughter as much as I do my son, because she was, in your words, “easier to have”. Would you dare say this to the face of any mother out there? It is none of your business but now I choose to tell you for the sake of dispelling your gross ignorance. I took aspirin daily for nine months to ensure my daughter would be a safer pregnancy and be “easier to have”. I checked my blood pressure at least twice daily, and did urine tests as needed to make sure she was safe from preeclampsia. I hopped in and out of the hospital as false alarms indicated that the preeclampsia might have returned.
So yes, if you count avoiding a long hospital stay an “easier birth” then yes I had an “easier birth”. Penelope made it to full term through luck and by the combined efforts of my doctor and me, which I am terribly thankful for.
But what about uncomplicated pregnancies? Do you dare say that getting pregnant, staying pregnant and then having a baby is “easy”? What about having morning sickness, constipation, heartburn, worrying about miscarriages and baby’s health, back aches, water retention, stretch marks, pain, tiredness? What about pushing a baby through your vagina, or getting cut open and then recovering from a major surgery? Is that easy to you? I dare you to say that to any woman who has experienced it because you surely haven’t.
You said I complained about her vomiting. If that is your definition of complaining, I think you better not say anything IN YOUR LIFE EVER wtf. Yes I wrote about her constant vomiting and how I’ve been trying to solve this problem. I did it because I was hoping to get some support and advice from other moms and the Dayre community came through for me. Unfortunately you twisted something as innocent as that into “complaining” and “not loving my baby”. You even dared to suggest I shouldn’t have had her if I’m going to complain.
Again, you don’t deserve to know this but in my efforts to stop her vomiting, I’ve already cut out dairy from my diet, researched essential oils to clear her mucus, and even now pump before feeding her just so she won’t overfeed and throw up. But of course all this wasn’t jotted down and why should I? Do I need to trumpet every detail of what I’m doing just so people like you can stop judging?
You said I love Penny less. I do love them differently – this I admit. When I had Fighter, I only had him to focus on. Now I have Penny too and I had to learn to give them both equal attention and care. I love her in a different way, because she is a different person. I have to switch up my parenting style because she is a different baby with a different personality and preferences from Fighter. So yeah, I don’t love them the same but it doesn’t mean I love her any less. Who are you to say anything about this?
Who do you think you are? Who are you to demand the privilege of a clarification from me or to request the details of my personal and family life? You are a complete stranger to me which is why you do not know enough to have a say. And yet you persist in having a misguided opinion of me and my life, and embarrassing yourself in the process.
Don’t you dare tell me or any other parent out there that we did not suffer for, or love our children enough. You have no right. It was sickening of you and I hope you never say what you said to me to anyone else ever.
A mother you had the audacity to judge
There. I had a great time writing the above. Hahaha.