AudParenting

Why am I so small?

Fighter usually asks the most random questions so the other day when he piped up, “Mommy?” I thought it would be no different.

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“Mommy,” he went. “How old is Chase?”

(Chase is his best friend.)

“Chase is the same age as you, darling. He’s three, turning four this year just like you.”

“Oh.” He paused.  “But why is Chase so big and I’m so small?”

My heart cracked in half.

I didn’t think it would be this soon but my very small son has noticed the difference between him and his peers.  Since he was born, a teeny premature baby who weighed only 1.1 kg, he was always tiny for his age, hovering around 5th-10th percentile for his weight and height.

They say premature babies catch up to their peers at around age two, but at two, Fighter dropped off the chart to 0 percentile. :X Which means to say, 100% of kids his age are bigger than him wtf.  It was obvious last year when he joined N1, and it’s even more striking now in N2, the year his classmates and him turn four.  Most of them tower at least a head above him now, when last year some kids were still closer to his size.  And he’s noticed.

Fighter’s emotional and mental development is pretty amazing to us.  Maybe we’re just doting parents hahahaha but his grasp of language is fantastic and so is his level of perception!  I think he’s a precocious child but it’s just his size…………

I keep thinking he should catch up sooner or later…. but it seems like he’s getting left further and further behind. T____T   Do you know he and Penny are nearly the same size already until people think they’re twins!? One person even asked me who is older WTF.  (And Penny is in the 50th percentile for her age, which means Fighter is basically the size of an average two year old fhl.)

Size seems like an awfully superficial thing to worry about; I can hear people rolling their eyes and telling me you should be glad he’s normal and healthy and everything else.  I am! You have no idea how much we’re aware of how lucky we got with this little guy (and his sister) – no major health issues, to be the bright, loving, awesome little kids they’re turning out to be.

But size does matter.  You hear about all these studies saying that taller people earn more, perceived better, more successful etc. They may or may not be true but what I worry about is…

Fighter getting picked on in school because of his size.
Fighter getting rejected by girls because of his height.
Fighter developing self confidence issues because of his height.
Fighter developing a chip on his shoulder because of his size.

Being a short guy is one thing, being a guy who could possibly be four feet nine is another wtf.  Having flaws to overcome brings a certain strength to character sure.  And sure, I had that burden to bear myself but I’m a girl! It’s not as bad for a girl!  And I have unbelievably thick skin! What if Fighter doesn’t? but I’m not sure I want this 4’9″ burden on my son leh. :((((

I actually asked our pediatrician about this the last time we saw him.  Dr A told me it’s cos Fighter was a preemie, plus half his genes are from me wtf and Fatty isn’t that tall either, to balance out my height genes wtf. (To Fatty’s annoyance hahahaha).  He actually recommended a specialist for pediatric growth so Imma make an appointment.

In the meantime we’re shower him with more love and support.

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  • TimothyTeoh

    🙁 Thanks for sharing. Hope the best

  • Cikgu Aimi Ho

    i knew two persons who are managers… they are small and short. And yet..

    Anyway, entrepreneurs dont have to be a certain height. With wealth, love and respect come easy.

  • Khalia

    I know, as a mother you’ll naturally worry and it’s not easy to appease a 4 year olds concerns but honestly, he is already such a kind, caring, gentle and hilarious soul. I think, even if he is shorter than his peers, he won’t struggle. You’re teaching him and loving him, I think he is definitely on the right path. And look at where you and Tim are, how successful you both are! Sod height, he has the perfect role models. 😉

  • yee ling

    Time to start boiling peanut root soup? Probably can get fighter to start basketball earlier too to help.

  • Sandy

    I’m not sure if it really works but you can try peanut root soup like what yee ling said. My younger brother has all along been shorter than me till he was 16 (160cm). He was even recommended by the school’s doctor to go for check-ups but there was no issue with his health and they said that he had already hit stage 5 of puberty, which means cannot grow anymore FHL. But my mum didn’t give up and diligently made him peanut root soup once every few days. Not sure if coincidence or not, he grew so rapidly in the next two years and he’s now 175cm. Do you remember when did you hit puberty? Usually kids will follow their parents! My mum hit at 16 as well. Don’t worry!

  • Amelia Ng

    I think fighter will grow up so smart and cute and amazing until a point where nobody will ever think that his height is an issue ☺

  • Samantha

    I don’t know if this will be of any comfort, but I was a premature baby as well (came out when I was about 7 months in the womb). And I was a very small child. Just like Jude, I was the same height as my younger brother -who is four years younger than me, when we were children. But when I started Secondary School and went through puberty, I managed to catch up with most of the other girls my age. I also have a male friend who was short (like about 160cm) all the way till he was 16, but after the O Level Examinations, he had a sudden growth spurt and now he’s 179cm tall. I’m sure that Jude will catch up when the time comes. 🙂

  • soliloquised

    Hi Audrey! Not too sure if you have come across this equation…:
    “Add the mother’s height and the father’s height in either inches or centimeters.
    Add 5 inches (13 centimeters) for boys or subtract 5 inches (13 centimeters) for girls.
    Divide by two.”

    Just google this child’s height predictor used by experts. So if this really IS true, Fighter will NOT be your height 🙂 And just to assure you more, my husband was so short in primary school. Short and small until the school shorts kena put rubberband. However, when he was 15, puberty hit him HARD and he is now 178cm. I have witnessed many moments when we bumped into his old friends and they were shocked that he is now (very) tall hahahaha.

  • siew eng wong

    Hello Audrey, thought of just dropping you a note, whenever my daughter which is 5 and 3 now come to me, my 3 yrs old is also of a very small size weighing only at 9.6kg still at 3…but whenever they try to compare.. i will use the hand and finger length story/example..indicating we could all be of the same age but look hey all the fingers on our hand are of different length..so be proud of which fingers u belong to and make good use and strengthen it up!..=)..keep it mummy…do keep sharing..=) hugss

  • Denise Teoh

    Dear Audrey and Fighter,

    It breaks my heart to be reading this, I just never expect that Fighter will be asking this question. I guess because I have been following his journey since he was a preemie, this story hits me harder. Audrey, thanks for sharing this out.

    Dear Fighter,
    If you are reading this, please know that size doesn’t matter. The joy you brought to so many people, that is WHAT matters most. You have no idea how happy you make me happy by just reading your journey. The joy, laughter and that cheeky smile, it just brighten up the people around you. There are many people out there who love you for who you are, not of your size.

    Love.

  • Tina Beanie

    Dear Audrey,
    It made me sad to read that Fighter is now noticing a difference in size between him and his peers. My birth with my son was nearly the same as yours (including the name Little Fighter given to him by his nurses) which resulted in me becoming angry and protective of you and and the nasty people making comments about him when he was born as I had the same thing happen to me. Fighter is a very, very handsome boy as I’ve said before and could be a child model with his looks and personality. I am same height as you therefore my son is not as big as some of his peers. He has asked questions as well. He is handsome, with a good personality and smart and that is more important than height. I tell him and he is seeing this now. People always say to me your boy is so handsome with good manners, personality and confidence. This is more important than a shy guy with height. So let him know this and as always I am wishing you guys the best.

  • http://www.sgrmse.com sgrmse.

    what was your answer to jude? just curious.

  • Amelia

    …. I know you mean well, but I don’t think that’s how genetics works…