In the aftermath of Bersih 4, I was surfing Facebook and came across some choice gems of photos.
This Facebook page is named “UMNO New Era” and as everyone knows, UMNO is the leading party in the coalition Barisan Nasional that currently governs Malaysia.
However I doubt UMNO is officially affiliated with this page cos they cannot be so stupid as to post the kind of things these people are doing.
85% of Chinese rise to oppose Malay leaders and they are enthusiastic with intent to control the land that belongs to the Malays. Malays are still fighting (?) among themselves HAHAHA GOOD TRY DAPIG
(DAPIG is their oh-so-witty play on the acronym DAP which stands for Democratic Action Party, a leading opposition party)
Erm. Where did they get the number 85% from? Who said anything about them “rising to oppose Malay leaders?” -_- Or “wanting to control the land?” WTF are they smoking!?
As an ethnic Chinese, I can assure you that we as a race are not interested in “opposing Malay leader” or “wanting to control the land”, as you so eloquently put it. -_- Stop making everything about race. If this statement is not seditious or incendiary, I don’t know what is.
LATEST FROM SOGO.The kiasu monkeys of Bersih are starving. They don’t want to eat the free food prepared by the Bersih organizers. (and then it refers to Bersih as Bershit wtf) They are eating delicious food in an airconditioned place… but the Bershit Malays are eating chicken rice at the side of the street… homeless. (it mentions the word ‘bangsat’ of which meaning I’m not sure but from people’s reactions, it’s a very bad insult.) Admin (I assume they’re referring to themselves) was offered the free food. But admin rejected because the source of donation for Bershit is Jewish. Admin does not want to eat food sourced from Jews! We pity those Malays…
OMG. This caption is so stupid it’s bordering handicapped. They deserve a disabled sticker to stick on their cars.
First of all, so what if Bersih participants prefer to go to a restaurant and eat?? What’s the crime here?
Secondly, what proof do you have that Malays (again bringing up race) are eating by the side of the road? And WTF is wrong with chicken rice? I love chicken rice wtf. Does eating chicken rice make you homeless? Wow the genius of this all is too much for me.
Thirdly, the tall tales they’re spouting is unbelievable. What proof that Jews have anything to do with Bersih? Again they’re trying to fear monger by implying that Jews are a part of this. Because the religious, abiding Muslim is supposed to be afraid of Jews? To hate them? Is that what they think?
Fourthly, if UMNO Era Baru doesn’t want to eat food from Jews, then why are they posting this on Facebook? By their logic, Facebook is a Jewish company, owned by Mark Zuckerberg, who’s (culturally, at least?) Jewish although I’ve read he’s an atheist.
Then don’t eat Dunkin Donuts or Haagen Daz cos they’re Jewish too. Don’t buy Estee Lauder makeup cos she’s Jewish.
Don’t use Google cos Sergei Brin is Jewish. (Actually pretty sure they’re not googling for anything, considering how stupid they seem.)
Don’t drink Starbucks coffee or buy your kids toys from Toysrus cos they’re Jewish too.
And you better not be updating Facebook from your Dell laptop cos Michael Dell is Jewish too.
This is the meaning of ‘Bersih” (clean) for the opposition
Sorry after that I didn’t really understand what they mumbled about cos I’m not familiar with a lot of Malay slang.
But the big blue box reads: BERSHIT BERSIH DAPIG monkeys’ work, you pussy!
Nice. Real classy. This photo could be real. But it could also be faked, taken at another time. There’s no way to determine the legitimacy of it.
However, there are many other photos depicting that Bersih rally goers were civic conscious and strove to keep the streets clean.
Packing garbage into garbage bags for smooth disposal…
It could be true that some irresponsible participants littered anyway. Out of thousands of attendees you can’t expect a 100% cleanliness record. But the post just reeks of anti-Bersih racists desperately trying to paint a bad picture of the rally.
Since 8.30 pm, many Malay participants are searching for something to lie on by the side of the roads and in the crevices of buildings WHILE the Chinese participants return to their hotels to rest comfortably. I’m so disappointed that how stupid Malays are so easily manipulated.
Seriously after every caption I go WTF. 1, I love how conclusively these idiots dare to say that ALL Chinese stay in hotels while ALL Malays sleep on the road wtf.
You want to talk race? Ok there. Stole this photo from Suanie. There’s tons of these circulating. Are these people Malay?
Aiya if the Chinese all slept on the street, these UMNO Era Baru losers would say something like “damn Chinese dirtying the pavements” la. They’d always have something bad to say.
2, If someone chose to sleep on the street (since it’s an overnight rally) SO WHAT? Their choice la! But no, UMNO EB crazies are accusing manipulation. Who’s really trying to manipulate who here? UMNO EB?
The kiasu communist tribe is trying to play with fire again. They have all sorts of hidden agendas. Today, this racial provocation is played up again. (in reference to the racial riots of 1969) What is this demonstration trying to incite?
Talk about seditious. Bersih is a movement for clean elections, governance and anti-corruption. Which is probably why those people in the photo were holding brooms, to symbolize cleaning. Trust these mofos to compare it to the racial riots of 1969, where people possibly carried brooms as weapons. I cannot believe how racist and incendiary these crazies are. In fact, the Bersih 4 rally was peaceful and orderly, with no major incidents. Source
LOOK AT THEIR FACES. WHAT RACE ARE THEY?
Like helping a trapped dog… help them and they bite the hand that feeds them. Tribe of crawling dogs DAPIG pussy
Wow this level of coherence is outstanding. Somebody give them a Pulitzer already!
Same old same old. Bringing race into it again. I don’t want to get into this can of worms but basically saying the Chinese should be grateful (to who? Your guess is as good as mine) but instead they are not, since they are taking part in this rally.
I decided to take screenshots and post these pictures because I want people – whom I hope are educated, fair and good enough to see the hate and lies and hypocrisy behind these posts – to see. Read and judge for yourself what this FB page is trying to achieve.
Fatty and I have many wonderful friends and colleagues who happen to be Malay. We get along well and race and religion have never been a problem. So of course I’d like to think (and I hope I’m right) that this is just a minority.
But it’s crushing to see that there are people out there who are fueled by so much hate as to post such awful things online. Why? Just because we are an ethnicity and a culture different from you? Even though we’ve been living together for centuries?
Or is it just for a political agenda? Is it because the easiest way to unite a people is to nominate a common enemy to vanquish?
That’s how the Holocaust started.
Now, if we could chalk it up to crazy extremist racists just spouting off, it would be more bearable. But many of our politicians remain silent on this and allow racist talk like this to continue. Some have even been known to say similar things themselves.
So I spent two days sad and contemplative wtf. What’s in our future here as non-Malays? Do we have to migrate? I kept thinking, will they only be happy if all non-Malays simply left? Is that what they want?
That’s not what *I* want. This is my home and I love Malaysia! Even despite our problems. This is where I was born and bred. And it’s where we started our family. I don’t want to go anywhere else because this is home. And because this is home, I want to make it a better nation, for myself and for my children.
But I scrolled through that hateful page again and this time I read the comments.
Among the vile replies supporting their disgusting sentiment, I was heartened cos other comments disagreed and scorned their crazed rantings! We are smarter than they think.
Also saw comments similar to this:
Our people, don’t be played by UMNO anymore. We Malays are clever. Two days at BERSIH KL. That was when I felt we were 1 Malaysia. To not judge by race, I hope that every day, we are 1 Malaysia, without looking at our race and religion.
One comment like this is worth more than ten despicable hateful comments.
At BERSIH, when the crowd sang Negaraku at midnight to usher in our National Day, I had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I’d grudgingly sang the national anthem as a kid at assembly (cos it wasn’t cool to be patriotic wtf) but I couldn’t be more wrong.
Negaraku is our anthem, and Fighter and Penny deserve to feel the same pride and love singing it.
I only hope they get that chance.
Here’s what Fighter had for lunch recently. Hello Kitty pasta! Hahahaha. He loves Hello Kitty and calls it Kiki wtf. HK is the first cartoon character he recognizes probably cos I have so much merchandise lying around at home. :X So when I saw the Hello Kitty shaped pasta must buy la! I don’t believe in gender stereotypes wtf if my son likes Hello Kitty he can! Predictably he got super excited when he saw the packaging.
And this is how he eats his pasta.
Every time it’s pasta on the menu he sure use hands to eat one. :X Some more refuse to wear bibs giving me heart attacks every time he smears or drops food. I should just get him to eat naked wtf.
And what’s on the menu for Penny?
Hahahaha yes she’s ready to start solids!
She’s currently five and a half months old. I was going to wait until she is officially six months but…
Can sit up on her own? Check.
Interested in our food? Check.
SO OKAY LA PENNY YOU BIG GIRL NOW!
Got some rice cereal and mixed it with some warm expressed breast milk. And dusted off Fighter’s old utensils hahaha poor second baby and hand me downs. ^^
Wow wow slow down Chubby.
She loves it hahahaha. Tongue thrust reflex has totally disappeared and she was just sticking out her tongue as far as she could to get to the spoon before it reached her omg.
And she was gripping my hand so hard I thought she wanted to eat it too wtf.
She just wants to make sure that spoon doesn’t go anywhere. Hahaha.
Om nom nom nom. Gumming like a pro.
Erm obviously I want some of that cereal too.
Hahahaha look at her shiok face!
When I withdrew the spoon TO SCOOP MORE CEREAL HELLO she got angry at yelled at me FML.
Okay la Operation Eat Solids is a success. 😀
Congratulations Penny Lane! To reward her Imma go buy her more waterproof bibs wtf 😀
This has been something I’ve been wanting to blog about for some time but it’s a heavy issue to take on. It’s also super long winded cos I had to squeeze in a lot of info into one post so uh drink some coffee.
The topic is, cheating on social media.
I’m not talking about married men on Tinder yo.
I’m talking about ‘faking it till you make it’ on social platforms.
With the rise of blogging, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Dayre, Snapchat, and what-have-you, follows the birth of a unique creature called the Blogger (or Influencer)*.
(I guess I am one wtf)
* A Blogger is someone with a blog. An Influencer is what people in the marketing industry refer to when they mean ‘someone who has “influence” on social media’. An Influencer can be a celebrity or someone ordinary who just has a following on social media. However, having influence is subjective.
With the rise of the Blogger/Influencer comes the rise of FAKING ON SOCIAL MEDIA /insert angry smoke blowing emoticon
I used to work in advertising – digital and social media to be exact – and I still blog, so this field was something I really pay attention to. It’s such a new area and it can be tricky to gauge what it means to work with influencers. There are no hard and fast rules to calculate the power of an influencer either. A lot of questions exist and this is how problems start to occur.
So are influencers real?
The term is super misleading. An influencer technically can be anybody. You got influence over your cat’s behavior then you can also be an influencer what wtf.
The right question is, what is an effective influencer and how do you avoid fakes?
Here’s what I think you need to look out for when evaluating if an Influencer/Blogger would be effective for your purposes. (disclaimer: there aren’t really any hard and fast rules so this is what I personally observed. And it’s probably only specific to Malaysia since all markets are different.)
1. Quantity (of followers/traffic/hits)
This is the most obvious. Look at their blog traffic, Instagram follower count, FB fans, Dayre, Twitter followers, etc.
But how many followers would you need to be influential? 10K? 30K? More than 100K? No hard and fast rules cos it depends on many factors (location/market, type influencer, type of content, social platform, even language) but if the Influencer is a hot girl, 10K isn’t going to cut it wtf. Really pretty girls rack up followers by the thousands just cos Instagram is such a visual medium.
A reasonable way to gauge if a number is good is compare between similar content bloggers.
Quantity =Awareness. The more people you reach, the more awareness you get. However Awareness alone is not Influence. You may be telling 100K people about your product but if those people are not interested, you just wasted your time. However, you can engage an Influencer with a huge enough following and hope that out of that you will reach a certain number who match your target audience.
You can’t judge a B/I on quantity of readers/followers alone.
Look at number of interactions. This includes comments, shares, likes, etc. Obviously the more, the better. Again judge against another similar blog post or blogger to figure out a standard.
Also look at quality – the interactions they generate, the content of those interactions and comments.
In an ideal world, every sponsored post a Blogger/Influencer does would be traced to a sales record because the final desired outcome is after all, a sale. But that’s not possible (yet?). The next best thing is to see whether an Influencer’s post sparks off comments showing interest to buy.
And if a post sparks a conversation about said product, we can presume that the blogger has introduced/reminded a reader about the product. The more top of mind a product is, the more the reader is likely to buy it.
Plus reading comments is a great way to find out what your customers think of you.
This is common sense. Don’t be a nut and engage say a male rapper to promote ladies’ cosmetics. It’s just not going to work.
However, Relevance counters Quantity. Quantity may be low but if Relevance is high, the overall effect should still be positive. In other words, even if you’re reaching a small audience, if the blog is known to be a trusted word on that subject, it’s the right move to make.
On the other hand, if say if a pretty girl with thousands of followers posts a photo/update but everyone is irrelevantly talking about how pretty she is, is she considered influential? Nobody cares what she said, they’re only reacting to her looks. Popularity DOES NOT NECESSARILY EQUATE Influence.
This one is kind of subjective but Imma put it out there anyway. If a blogger has good rapport with his readers, has generally supportive comments and seems well liked, I can presume whatever product recommendations he makes will go down well. Say a good friend tells you about this awesome soap he’s using. You’d be more willing to trust his word because you like and respect him. As opposed to the bitch who plays politics in your office wtf.
So the conclusion is…
Do your homework. Talk to your friends, colleagues or better still, contacts in the industry. If more people have heard of this Influencer, it’s a good sign. If they brighten up and tell you some (hopefully positive) news on that Influencer, even better.
If you have time, follow that Influencer on social media for a while. Most Malaysian Bloggers/Influencers are very personality based so their social media is about their lives and personalities. It’s easy to figure out what they’re like, how’s their relationship with their readers, and whether their lives and charaters are suitable for your product. You wouldn’t ask a blogger who’s trying to conceive to promote your birth control pill, would you?
All this should give you equally as good a picture, if not better, of the suitability of a blogger for your business. When you’re in doubt, use your own brain, do your own research.
Why am I writing such a long winded boring lecture on social media usage?
Because CHEATING, THAT’S WHY!
A food blogger (whom I’ve heard of but never met) posted this on her Facebook recently.
I AM VERY SHOCKED AND DISGUSTED. Because while I’ve heard of influencers doing this, this is the first time I’ve seen an AGENCY (basically a professional company) attempt to cheat like this.
If you were confused, a social media or PR agency contacted her to work with a client of theirs. Many businesses work with third party agencies to engage Bloggers/Influencers.
Sounds like this agency wants to sell her Instagram/FB to the client but deems her follower count as too low. So the agency asked her to “pump” it up by BUYING FOLLOWERS.
If you’re not in this field, you may not realize how disgusting this is.
Buying ads on Facebook to drive FB fans is one thing. Your ad is shown to FB users who fit your target audience. If they’re interested in your page, they click Like and you gain a GENUINE fan. These are real people who actively chose to follow your page.
Buying Instagram followers is an entirely different thing. You pay a company, and they increase your followers. How? There are no ads on Instagram. The followers you get are mostly fake – bots or fake profiles. These profiles can have no profile photo, don’t post any photos themselves, or post 1-2 very very shitty quality pics (like a grainy photo of a TV screen wtf #truestory). These accounts usually follow thousands of people but have very few followers themselves. It’s spammy and very fake.
Instagram has no analytics so it’s hard to see. But if you:
- scroll through their follower list and see a lot of profiles with no photos, with usernames like @4hrghhjs_skkfjkhs, chances are they’re bots
- watch an Instagram account and see the count go up by 100 or a round number every day, chances are they are bought. Actually, almost 100% confirmed bought cos how can it be a coincidence every day increase 100?
- notice that the number of likes/comments are extraordinarily low compared to their followers, chances are the followers are fake too. Bots don’t like or comment. There’s no formula for calculating interaction rate but I guess 3-4% and more is decent? If you have 100K followers and 1000+ likes (1%) I’d wonder if you bought followers. Another general trend is the less followers you have, the higher your interaction rate should be cos at a lower count it’s easier to have more likes in proportion. So even if you have 15K followers and 100+ likes, I’d also be suspicious. (And especially if you’re a decent looking girl :X)
The blogger who posted the update above is Missyblurkit. Wei Zhi of Kampungboycitygal showed me her post so here I am, clapping for her wtf. She could have gone the dishonest route and earned more money for herself (cheating unsuspecting clients) but she chose to preserve her integrity.
I can’t say the same for many Bloggers/Influencers. In fact, I’m currently watching one blogger increase her IG follower count by 100 every day. Wonder how much money is involved and what number she’ll stop at hahaha.
It really pisses me off because I’ve worked hard for my traffic and influence and I’m sure a lot of bloggers out there are the same. But these people just “pump” up their followers and then they can charge clients more cos they have *ahem* more readers. How is that fair to other bloggers, not to mention the clients? They’re basically paying to reach out to an non-existent audience.
As for that agency in question, they’re blatantly trying to cheat the client! They implied that the client wants a higher number, no matter what it takes. Unless the client is very stupid, there is no way a client would want to buy fake followers. How would that contribute to their end goal of sales at all? On the other hand, it would definitely affect the agency’s performance to the client. So I believe the agency was doing this without the client’s knowledge.
So this post is for the marketers and business owners. Social media is a very grey area with a lot of opportunity to cheat. But when used correctly it can really boost your business. Please be smart about it and don’t get cheated.
This blog post is for before I forget! In London we visited the Imperial War Museum – Fatty loves war history and I love history and museums – so it was a perfect fit for both of us.
And it so happened there was an exhibit called “Fashion on the Ration: 1940s street style” which was about how WW2 impacted fashion in the 40s (along with every other aspect of life). It runs until 31 Aug so I made it just in time woohoo.
The IWM is free but you have to buy tickets for the special exhibitions. I so kan cheong spider the first thing I did when we got there was go to the information counter and purchase two tickets for 10 pounds each.
When Fatty was done looking around the lobby he said, “ok we better go get the tickets now” but surprise! Your efficient wife has already done that. Hahahahah he was damn surprised cos uhh I’m not very efficient normally.
This excerpt from the IWM website says:
This exhibition explores how men and women found new ways to dress as the rationing of clothes took hold. Displays of original clothes from the era, from military uniforms to functional fashion, reveal what life was really like on the home front in wartime Britain. This is a story not about the end of fashion but about creativity, innovation and coping in adversity, the impact of which can still be seen upon British style today.
Leave it to the experts to put it so eloquently hahahaa.
Here are some photos I took because I found everything so interesting! Sharing is caring after all.
With the war, clothing standards became more relaxed due to the scarcity of resources. Also women took up many men’s jobs now and in addition to housework etc, they resorted to clothing items like housecoats (a sort of dress to wear over your usual clothes when doing housework) and pants.
Misogynists weren’t happy about women wearing pants -_- as highlighted in the above painting by some sexist man wtf. It depicts two heavily made up women in slacks smoking on a street corner. The portrayal of the women with the soldier in the background suggests disapproval of their dress and behavior.
Wah lau all the women no choice step up to take care of the home and country while men are out fighting also kena slut shame like this. *fire blows from nostrils
For the first time ever, women were conscripted to work. They didn’t necessarily go to war but they did take up jobs that were traditionally held by men – working in arms factories for example.
By 1944 there were 7 million women in war work so this pamphlet is a guide on how to dress practically yet fashionably. Hahaha.
A quote from placard reads: “There is no need for the munitions girl to be drab in her clothing. Bright colours have a cheering effect, but no-one with common sense would wear pale pink or duck egg blue on a dirty job. Durability and smartness can be easily and cheaply combined.”
Beauty businesses continued to advertise to women too. I love this quote hahaha.
A huge slogan in 1940s Britain was “Make Do and Mend”. The government urged people to make their clothes last as long as possible. Magazines like Vogue and others would publish articles like this: how to redo old clothes into new ones. They’d normally recommend and then show you how to cut a sleeve short if the wrist was fraying, or layering a bib on the front of a blouse to hide spots or tears and it would be a whole new style. This article suggests how to take old evening dresses and other things people normally wouldn’t wear in wartime and redo them into shorter day dresses. The woman lying on the bed even better. They recommended taking your bedspread and remaking it into a coat WTF hahahaha. Very ingenious!
Trends followed the necessities of war. On the left are white flowers to be pinned on a lapel or your hair. The Germans were bombing Britain so at night all the lights were turned off to avoid giving them a visible target. But people would get into car accidents at night cos drivers couldn’t see them wtf. :X So it became the trend to wear white accessories (flowers, hats, etc) which would reflect some light and tell drivers there were people around. On the right is a handbag, designed to store gas masks. :O
Because of the war, people would get married in a rush before one got sent to the front line. So articles like this were popular – how to get married in a week hahaha.
Speaking of weddings…. wedding dresses obviously were a luxury but women still wanted to get married wearing white. So they improvised. This wedding dress was made from a silk which would normally have been used to make petticoats.
I also remember reading that wedding dresses would be passed from a girl to her sister to her friends and worn repeatedly by different brides.
It was also common to get married wearing military uniforms.
This is a bridesmaid dress made from…parachute silk. Parachute silk wasn’t really silk either, it was either rayon or nylon.
This was cool! Jewelry was also improvised. The clear bangle shaped like a snake was made of broken German windshield. :O And so were the star earrings.
As expected, hobbies like knitting were really popular. The green item on the right was a baby’s swimsuit! Hahhaha can’t imagine how heavy it would be when wet.
Even hats could be knitted. Hehe I took this picture cos I really liked the child’s coat. Very contemporary leh the style!
And then there was also a very interesting scheme called the Utility Clothing Scheme.
From Wikipedia: it was a rationing scheme introduced in the United Kingdom by the British government during World War II. In response to the shortage of clothing materials and labour due to the requirements of the war effort, the Board of Trade sponsored the creation of ranges of “utility clothing” meeting tight specifications regarding the amount of material and labour allowed to be used in their construction. Utility clothing, and later utility furniture, was marked with the CC41 mark.
Although it was a rationing scheme, designs were commissioned by famous British designers of the time, to make them more desirable to people.
Under Utility, boys below a certain age could only wear shorts, not long pants (to save fabric presumably)
Baby girl dresses under Utility! If I remember rightly only 15 or so designs were allowed for children’s clothing.
Some women’s dresses. Utility didn’t really look utility actually. I remember reading also that small print fabric was used so they could use scraps to make a full article of clothing? I presume large print fabric cannot simply cut and reuse and still look presentable.
Girl’s clothes. The designs quite nice right! The red striped dress on the left was made more interesting by alternating the stripes in vertical and horizontal alignment.
And that was all the photos I have wtf. I was completely absorbed in this exhibition! If you’re in London until the end of August, try to go, I promise it’s worth it!
I love fashion and reading about it but fashion is a reflection of the times. This exhibition, in showcasing fashion back in the 1940s, essentially reveals how people adapted and coped, and how life really was back then. And that was really what was interesting to me – not just the trends on the surface but how they came to be with the times and continue to evolve until today.
Okay since this is a fashion related post I post my Audfits ok wtf.
Denim on denim!
Jacket – Forever21
Jeans – Topshop
Shoes – Fashionbloggerrr
Bag – Kenzo
Top – Honey Mi Honey
Jacket – Lip Service Cult
Shirt dress – Fashionbloggerrr
Shoes – Converse
Stockings – can’t remember, Tutuanna probably
Top – Nasty Gal
Skirt – Nasty Gal
Skirt and shirt – Evris Earrings – Nasty Gal As you can see I only shop at a few places wtf.
Comfy hoodie – Mount Holyoke! Hahahaha.
A few days ago, Fighter turned two.
This year I decided not to throw him a party because… next year onwards he’ll be begging for birthday parties every year. So this year is a gap year hahahaha. He doesn’t really have any friends to invite yet, the people he loves the most are just us, and his grandparents. Plus according to him, the best part of a birthday is the birthday song and blowing candles which can be done anywhere.
So this year we just celebrated at home with family. I wasn’t kidding when I said his favorite bit is the birthday song with candles and cake so we did that a few times wtf. (for months leading up to his birthday he already kept asking us to sing him the song and he’d clap and then pretend to blow candles WTF can say he got a lot of practice already lo hahaahah)
Ordered cupcakes to bring to school so he could celebrate with his little classmates! Got these from DKBakes (@DKbakes89 on Instagram). Chose three flavors – salted caramel, red velvet and Milo. Also picked a Cookie Monster and Elmo theme cos he loves these two characters (also Hello Kitty wtf).
Super blur dunno what to do with it lidat hahahaha. At home he’s damn enthusiastic about it but suddenly turned shy in school when everyone was singing for him.
Asked him to blow the candle but his breath wasn’t really reaching it. So I picked him up to get nearer to blow. Still couldn’t extinguish the flame and complained, “hot hot” hahahaha so end up I had to blow the candle for him. -_-
Also had another school romance WTF. Suddenly super hiao that day… when teacher was showing how to do the artwork that day, he went and put his head on this little girl’s shoulder and lap WTF.
We were in Penang last week so we decided to celebrate again with his grandparents. Grandma Tiah went out and got him this layer cake. Hahahaha looks like super no effort put in, but Fighter will never finish the cake anyway, and this layer cake is supposedly very good!
Family photo! With no kids looking at the camera what’s new. Also took him out for a stroll in the mall. He fell in love with this minion backpack when we were in Toysrus so we decided to buy it for him, it being his birthday week and all.
He calls it his nana wtf. I guess to him, minion = banana. Hahahaha close enough. Then he discovered a whole treasure area of these car rides. He’s obsessed with cars so this was heaven for him. A very good birthday activity ah! Some more he’s scared of these when they move and only wants to sit in them when they’re unmoving wtf. Very good ah, he’s happy and I get to save money lolol.
Oh sorry digression but check out me and Penny’s matching outfits!!! Ok fine I purposely went to hunt for a banana top for Penny hahaha. And she had this denim bloomers which coincidentally matched my denim skirt too.
One more picture of this little queen.
And then we also took them swimming! Pretty sure Fighter was on cloud 9 – got cars and cake and swimming all in one day. Hahahaha Penny benefits too wtf. Sorry no photos of birthday boy swimming cos he was with his grandma mostly and we’d like to protect her privacy.
Then two more times when we got home to KL!
This boy is super lucky or what. Once with Mummy Ooi and Fat Her who got him a chiffon cake (and two watches for his birthday wtf overkill hahaha. I told them he’s very into watches lately so they could get a toy one for him for his birthday. They ended up buying him two wtf he wears one on each wrist now lolol.)
We had leftover cupcakes so we did the whole birthday cake for him AGAIN.
So worth it cos look how happy he is!
All ready to eat the cake.
My darling baby boy,
It’s been two whole years since you first entered our lives. At times time seemed to pass so slow, but now I don’t know where all that time went! You are a regular little human now, with your own likes and dislikes and a very distinct personality. Over the past year, mommy and daddy have seen you grow from a blur baby to a walking, talking toddler who is very good at communicating with us, and also parroting us wtf. We’ve loved discovering new facets of your personality and the fact that you’re such a cheerful, loving child.
You never cease to amaze me with what you’re learning every day. You and Penny are the best thing that’s ever happened to us. I love being your mom and having the chance to raise and love you.
Happy 2nd birthday.
The other day someone on Dayre mentioned the term “high needs baby”.
I’d never heard of it before so I googled. I got on this blog and… holy shit this is a revelation!
Pop Quiz: Do you have a High Needs Baby?
Do any of the following sound familiar?
Your baby would rather observe the world around her from the vantage point of your arms (While in a sling. Bouncing. And nursing.)
My answer: OMG yes. Except sometimes she doesn’t even need the sling, silly mommy. Just bare arms will do they’re so much comfier than some silly nylon carrier!
When he’s hungry, wet, irritated, overwhelmed, or bored, he isn’t shy about letting you know, long and loud.
A: Yep! Especially when she’s overwhelmed. When there’s too many new faces and too much noise. Not only does she let me know how she feels more than adequately, she lectures me for at least five minutes after that too.
Sleeping through the night is a term you think you’ve heard before, but certainly haven’t experienced anytime recently.
A: Actually touch wood but Penny’s been pretty good at night! But maybe it’s because she rarely naps for more than 30 minutes at a time in the day so by the time night falls, she’s exhausted. -_-
His nicknames all include the words fuss, cranky, or grumpy in some way, shape or form.
A: OMG how you know!? We call her Grumpy Pants, Grumpy Cat, Miss Grumps and So Much Anger In This Little Body.
You don’t understand the phrase “Enjoy the newborn stage, it’s passes so quickly”. To you that’s like saying “Enjoy having your appendix removed, the recovery period passes so quickly”.
A: Yea totally. I’m counting down to when she can speak so she can tell me WHAT SHE’S ANGRY ABOUT. T____T
After doing a whole bunch of reading on this (i.e. I spent an hour on Google), I am pretty sure Penny is a high needs baby.
Who, me? *innocent*
Dr Sears was the first person to coin this term and I read through his article 12 Features of a High Need Baby. Every line I read seemed to nearly describe Penny to a T! Words like “intense”, “draining”, “demanding” flew up at me and really rang a bell.
One line in particular:
Isn’t a contented baby the hallmark of effective mothering? Wrong! There will be days when you nurse, rock, walk, drive, wear, and try every comforting technique known to man or woman, and nothing will work. Don’t take this as a sign of failure. You do the best you can, and the rest is up to the baby. You have not failed as a mother even if your baby is miserable much of the time. This is simply part of his personality.
Yes, Miss Grumpy, I do believe that is just your personality.
Another trait was “super sensitive” and “cannot be put down”.
High need babies are keenly aware of the goings-on in their environment. “Easily bothered,” “quickly stimulated,” “like walking on eggshells” is how parents describe their sensitive babies. High need babies prefer a secure and known environment, and they are quick to protest when their equilibrium is upset. They startle easily during the day (for example, we learned not to turn on the blender if Hayden was anywhere nearby) and settle with difficulty at night. While you can carry on normal family life without waking most sleeping infants, these babies often awaken at the slightest noise. Super-sensitive infants are unlikely to accept substitute caregivers willingly.
Yes loooo. When I had our aircon units serviced, the sound of the cleaning machine pissed Penny off royally so we had to sequester her to the furthest corner of the house from whichever unit was being cleaned. And when we brought her to Kim and Gareth’s baby Liam’s birthday party, she yelled the minute we stepped into the house. I guess there were too many new people and sounds around and she didn’t like the new place wtf sorry Kim.
She screamed all the way until I brought her upstairs to a guest room, away from all the stimulation to recover. And even then she sniffled away in my arms, and kept working herself up so she’d scream at two minute intervals FML max.
Another sentence in Dr Sears was this:
High need infants tend to be full-time tummy-thumpers and bladder- kickers, as if telling the world even before they’re born that they need more space.
Omg really! In my tummy she was ALWAYS moving and kicking. In fact there wasn’t a time where I felt worried about her at all (as opposed to certain days with Fighter when I didn’t notice him move) because she was always reminding me she’s there. I was very grateful that she was reassuring me but now I know it’s just her forceful personality hahahaha.
So basically Penny is an okay baby… until she’s not happy or wants something. Then all hell breaks loose wtf. When she cries, it’s not a cry of pain or fear. It’s anger. Her little body tenses up, she arches her back, she yells with as much as strength as she can muster, and she goes on for a long time, until her emotion is spent.
She cries on car rides (IKR which baby hates car rides!?); hell, she cries even in the car seat. She cries when I put her in a lying down position cos she always wants to be upright and look at stuff. When feeding, if flow too slow, cry. Flow too fast, cry. Accidentally come off the nipple, cry. When we take her out of the bath, she cries cos she loves bathing. When putting lotion on her face, she cries.
And sometimes for no discernible reason at all, she cries. Then a few minutes later she recovers without us ever figuring out why.
A study was done on the ‘difficult child’ which followed 141 children from birth through to elementary school, looked at various personality traits, and the extent to which the children exhibited the following 9 traits:
- The level of motor activity
- The regularity of functions such as eating, elimination, sleeping and wakefulness
- The response to a new objects or people (do they accept it or withdraw)
- The adaptability to changes in the environment
- The threshold or sensitivity to stimuli
- The intensity of responses
- The child’s general mood or disposition (cheerful, grumpy, serious, friendly, etc.)
- How distractible the child is
- The attention spam and level of persistence they display when engaged in an activity
The children were categorized into three – Easy, Difficult and Slow to Warm Up. Upon reading, I’m pretty sure Penny is Difficult la hahahaha.
More reading indicated that the best way for parents to cope is to adopt an “adaptive, flexible style of parenting”. Which is what I find myself doing now.
Quite different from parenting Fighter who can be considered an easy baby, I baby wear Penny a lot, or just plain carry her throughout the day, co-sleep, use a swing for naps (which I swore I’d never use), use a specific bottle for feeding (Fighter was fine switching bottle types, and switching from bottle to breast), and do elaborate sleep rituals wtf.
(Mine is cradle her, turn on a lullaby on the baby monitor, say SHHH until I got oxygen deprivation, swing her from side to side, while bouncing myself around the room. With one hand ready to catch the pacifier she may spit out in anger any moment. OMG FML hahahaha)
We also don’t really dare take her out of the house now lest we disrupt her routine. Also because she doesn’t take well to public environments. And every night at clockwork I put her to bed at exactly the same time, while doing the same things (see elaborate sleep ritual)
A lot of people especially older folks think I’m spoiling her, but really. This is the only way we’re surviving wtf. Reading all these articles on high need babies, other parents of high need babies are saying the same thing. Observations and studies have shown this is the most effective style when it comes to high need babies which is great news!
Slowly but surely, I see our efforts paying off. But touch wood hor don’t suddenly F me over again ah universe. Penny has been having longer and more frequent periods of cheerfulness. We’ve learned to read her cues better, so we’ve been able to preempt some meltdowns.
Normally I need to let her cry it out for at least half an hour every night before she goes to sleep -_- but for the past two nights she did not! Today she whimpered a little bit but my fabulous shushing and swinging lulled her off to sleep before she could full blown melt down.
And yesterday even better! I picked her up and she did not cry. In fact, she nuzzled my boobs and quietly breastfed herself to sleep. :O :O (Normally I have to let her cry herself to sleep before dreamfeeding her.)
I say all her negative points but she has some wonderful traits too. When not grumpy, she’s VERY smiley.
She loves it when people talk to her. She starts smiling like crazy and “talks” back in her baby babbles. She loves it when you blow raspberries at her or make weird throat noises. She does it right back at you — I didn’t know five month old babies could replicate the same sounds!
When she’s in her tantrums I feel like dying. But when she smiles and babbles at me everything else just melts away . :)))) Is this an unhealthy relationship lolol.
Milestone achieved btw! At 4.5 months Penny sat up by herself for the first time! Here she is, looking very nonchalant about it. She damn cool lo. Hahaha.
And here’s me and her on Periscope. It’s my new favorite app! Follow me at @fourfeetnine for snippets of me, Fatty, Fighter and High Needs Baby. 😀
I am out! In Taipei, to be exact.
Some Audfit shots first because I haven’t had the luxury of taking them for fun for so long!
Not my normal style but thought I’d try something new! Blue slip dress is from Young Hungry Free.
Fatty is here on business and I decided to follow him for a break. Win win cos with me around, he won’t be so homesick, and I wanted to get away for a while after last week’s meltdown.
(But then the last two days before we came, the two critters suddenly about faced and behaved like angels. -_- Fighter was very sweet and manja, and Penny started becoming super smiley omg. Even during her night feeds, she’d open her eyes and smile like I was the best thing she ever laid eyes on wtf.
These guys really know how to manipulate my heart wtf.)
Anyway. Weirdly, the one thing I was really looking forward to for this trip was sitting in a plane with no baby on my lap WTF. Hahahaha oh how my standards of a relaxing holiday have changed.
I settled into my seat and buckled my seatbelt without waiting for an infant belt. I pulled down the shutters and took a nice two hour nap.
After I woke up, I was served lunch and I ate. Leisurely! While reading my Kindle! With nobody to tussle with, or feed or scold for making a mess.
And then I decided to listen to some music over the flight entertainment system.
Don’t count car radio but it’s been years since I last just sat down and listened to music. With a good book no less. I’d forgotten that I actually like music! I’d forgotten all these songs I was listening to now because my days are filled with nursery rhymes, or no music at all.
It felt so amazing to be listening to all these long lost, loved tunes! Granted my taste by today’s standards is supremely uncool la cos I only like super oldies from the 60s and 70s and showtunes wtf.
Then I started worrying what if I’m not cultivating musical inclination and culture into Fighter and Penny cos we don’t turn on music at home wtf. When I was a kid my parents would always have a tape on especially on road trips and I grew up listening to their music (which probably explains my musical tastes wtf)
But I’m digressing.
There were so many things on the trip that came back to me.
I remembered how much I miss listening to music.
I remembered I actually had favorite songs and artistes.
I remembered what a luxury it is to be able to order food without worrying if Fighter could eat it too.
I remembered what it feels like to wake up, then snuggle back down to sleep again with no babies around to care for.
I remembered how nice it is to be able to sit down and read for as long as I want. And to do anything else at leisure!
To leisurely do my makeup and then take selfies hahaahah.
To take walks and browse in shops without heaving a toddler or baby on my hip, and to stay out without checking the clock for bedtime. (Although not to say stay out very long also la cos we’re old now wtf)
I’d forgotten that I like meeting Fatty’s business associates. And sitting in on meetings and learning new things.
I’d forgotten how nice it is to talk to adults about non-kid topics.
I remembered all this after so long. In the day to day of being as good a mom as I can, I’d forgotten other parts of myself. Being a mom is now my identity, but it should not be my only identity.
I was looking forward to this trip as a way to relax but it gave me more than that. It gave me the reminder to hold on to the rest of myself. I am a mom primarily but I am also a person with interests, opinions and hopes. For the sake of myself and my family, I should not forget that.
Today has been one of those days when I wish I wasn’t a mom.
Come to think of it, this is the first time I’ve actually thought that.
The past few nights have been pretty rough with Penny waking up and crying more for milk more than usual. But last night took the cake.
She woke up at 3.45 am for milk so I fed her and she went back to sleep. So far, so good. But then an hour later she woke up again.
I thought she couldn’t be hungry so I tried patting her back to sleep. Instead she got angrier and angrier because I think she couldn’t go back to sleep fast enough for her liking. She woke up and had a full blown baby tantrum. And when Penny tantrums, the world shakes wtf.
Nothing helped. I cradled her, shushed her, patted her, walked her around, she kept getting louder and angrier.
Beside me, Fatty covered his ears with a pillow wtf.
She was so loud I thought she would wake Fighter in the next room so I brought her downstairs with me where she finally calmed down, although I dunno how long it took – I was that out of it.
And this morning I had to get up early to take Fighter to school so I’m feeling like ten kinds of shit.
I admit – Penny is a very difficult baby. On bad days I think that maybe because we had a smooth delivery with her (compared to Fighter), so now we have to go through a tough time.
My breastfeeding journey with her hasn’t been the smoothest of trips. The first two months was fine but somewhere within the third month she started becoming very hard to breastfeed. It got so that when I even laid her in the position to breastfeed, she’d arch her back and start screaming.
And once she starts, it’s nearly impossible for her to stop. I’ve had her cry in my arms for two hours straight while I slowly went insane. When she cries, she flails and kicks, and she just screams louder and louder. She’ll spit out her pacifier, and walking, patting and rocking her does nothing to help.
Sometimes, very loud shushing does work, combined with vigorous rocking but it’s not 100% effective either.
Because she’s so hard to feed, what I have to do is basically let her cry until she gets so tired she goes to sleep. Then when she’s half asleep I stuff my boob into her mouth and she drinks herself to sleep wtf. Do you realize how that sounds? That I have to let my baby cry so she’ll drink her milk?
I have no problems feeding her in the middle of the night cos she’s so sleepy then.
Can you imagine the amount of stress and crying we go through every day though? When she cries long enough I feel like crying too. And it sounds awful but when she doesn’t stop I feel like throwing her down or covering her mouth — anything to make her stop.
I don’t think she’s in pain or sick, because sometimes when we successfully distract her – usually Fatty taking over – she calms down fast enough and even smiles at us. -_- But then it’s like she remembers she was angry and starts again wtf. Her temperament is impossible. That said, I’m planning to take her to the pediatrician tomorrow just to get her checked.
It’s really taking a toll on me. When she laughs and plays with me I’m so grateful. But when she starts her uncontrollable crying, I want to jump out of the window. I look at her crying face and I feel so sad I can’t calm her. But some small sorry pathetic part of me wishes I had a different kind of baby. What kind of mother am I?
So this is what I’ve been struggling with for the past two months. And tonight Penny was asleep in her room. It was Fighter’s bedtime so I washed him up and got him his milk. I carried him into their room, where our nanny was.
She told me she would put Fighter to bed so I left.
Then I heard Fighter shouting and knocking on our door (our room connects to the kids’).
Penny had woken up thanks to his shouting so I told nanny to tend to her while I did the same for Fighter in our room.
Instead of going to sleep, Fighter walked all around our room, playing. He heard Penny’s voice in the other room and wanted to go and knock on the door again. -_- I wouldn’t let him for fear he’d agitate her further… and he threw a fit. After all the Penny pinching he does, suddenly so caring wanna go see his sister?
He screamed so loudly I scolded him and threatened him with the naughty corner. And this is where it got heartbreaking. He hates the naughty corner so I saw him actually take a deep breath and try to stop himself from crying. He gasped and hiccuped but still went on crying loudly.
Fatty was on the phone in our room and Fighter wanted to go to him, but Fatty waved us off. It triggered another tantrum in Fighter who was probably confused and heartbroken why Daddy didn’t want him. And Penny started crying again in the next room.
What ensued was me alternating between trying to soothe and hug Fighter who was struggling and screaming in my arms, and raising my voice and threatening him with the naughty corner again – something I’m not proud of. In retrospect I believe he was too emotional to control himself but at that point I thought he was being willful, refusing to obey me.
He finally fell asleep hugging me.
While I write this, he’s still sleeping in the position I left him.
I know I don’t mean this, and tomorrow will be a fresh new start, but at this moment I wish I was single with nobody to look after except myself. So I don’t have to feel like a failure. So I don’t have to be the person I was today.
OK I know you all are busy people. So am I *ahem* So I’ll make it quick.
Just like this Vaseline Intensive Care Spray Body Lotion.
Comes in two variants – Aloe Soothe and Dry Skin Repair. Yep, instead of just spraying body mist or perfume on yourself you can spray body lotion on yourself to moisturize in seconds. Perfect for
lazy busy people like me. ^^ Vaseline is one of the go-to brands for body moisturization and skincare and it’s great they’re innovating like this. Gone are the days where you have to dig your fingers into a jar of cream, or even push a pump to squeeze out lotion. You thought nothing could get easier than pumping lehhhh.
Simply twist the top to ‘unlock’…
And spray the desired amount onto your skin!
The lotion is much thinner than a normal Vaseline, cos it has to spray out obviously.
It’s actually quite watery so it’s very easy to smooth out and massage into skin. Don’t need to massage so hard (I normally have to massage quite hard and ‘push’ the lotion to other areas of my skin wtf) for it to be distributed evenly.
And one more thing I like about it is that I can pack it in a suitcase and not worry about leakage as with a normal pump bottle or jar.
If you’re interested in getting one yourself – do check out at Guardian and Watsons – they will be having special promotions for Vaseline from time to time.
For more details, check out the Vaseline website (there’s a discount voucher that you
can download!) or Facebook page.
So we’re back in the comfort of our own home, with our own beds and amenities. We’re more or less recovered from our trip to Sydney – although some things will never be the same again wtf.
Will we be doing it again? Hell no! Okay fine, never say never. But definitely not for a long time to come. I shiver just thinking about it. Maybe in seventeen years or so. Hahahaha.
We thought it would be hard, but we didn’t realize it would be Difficulty Level: Asian.
Now with things in the near past, we can look back and laugh a little at what we went through. It was a tremendous experience wtf. So I thought I’d do a blog post on things we’ve learned about traveling with young children, and about ourselves
1. Kids are terrible travelers
This was something that completely did not occur to me. Fighter was a complete nightmare wtf. He was irritable, threw tantrums at the slightest provocation, and was nearly impossible to put down for naps or bedtime. He refused to even walk or sit in the stroller most of the time, demanding to be carried around as if he weighs as much as a feather pillow. He turned down most foods, preferring to munch on fries and cookies mostly. Towards the last couple of days, he even refused the fries. Worst of all, he was constipated for four days until I resorted to feeding him stool softener.
But a few days in, we realized what Fighter’s problem was. He was in a new environment which he was uncomfortable with. He was also probably over stimulated, hence the difficulty in going to sleep. And since he only ate fries, no wonder he became constipated, which further worsened his mood.
Penny on the other hand, was the perfect baby. She fed and slept on the go wherever we were, and was happy as long as she was in her carrier or stroller.
Lesson learned is – if you’re going to travel, go when baby is too young to know better! Do it when all they do is eat and sleep. Jet lag may not even affect them much seeing as they’re sleeping most of the time.
2. Bring a baby carrier / stroller Fighter is a lost cause but these two items were life savers for Penny! Mostly she traveled in her Ergobaby (got it from Bloom and Grow Malaysia) strapped to me and she’d sleep for two hours straight (her normal naps are 45 minutes max -_-) then wake up to feed and either be in a good mood, or fall back asleep. Win! She slept well in the stroller too but I felt more secure with her in the Ergobaby. The stroller was super useful for putting diaper bags, blankets, and random baby paraphernalia though. If you’re planning to travel, either one of these items is a must. Having said that, I’m glad we brought both; it worked out best for us. 3. My husband is a hero and we make a fantastic tag team Our roles in marriage are like this – Fatty brings home the bacon and I manage the house and kids. Very straightforward. But on holiday, he really stepped up! He took on Fighter so I could be free to care for Penny. Before this, Fatty had never even bathed Fighter but he did a fantastic job! Sometimes we switched kids but for the most part, Fatty fed, bathed, dressed and kept watch of Fighter. He even put him to bed and slept with him. And left me enough peace of mind and sanity to take care of Penny without worrying about whether Fighter had pants on wtf. To be honest, I was a bit doubtful of his abilities since at home he mostly just plays with them. But it’s hot wtf. Made me fall a bit more in love with him hahahaha.
3. My son loves me!
Ya as though I didn’t know this before wtf. But at home with the helper, in the day time I end up spending most of my time with Fighter, if I’m not feeding Penny. Fighter can get super clingy (and slightly jealous of Penny) so while he’s awake I try to spend more time with him and nights with Penny.
But in Sydney I had no choice but to be full on Penny. I thought Fighter would be okay since he loves his Daddy too, plus his grandparents were around. And most of the time he was okay playing with everyone, but at times when he saw me coming, I’d see his eyes light up at the sight of me… then his face fall when he realized I was holding Penny.
A bit heartbreaking but he has to accept it la hahahahaha. And I secretly love it cos it means he really loves me! #glasshalffull
4. More than one kid is like a mine field
When one cries, it invariably triggers the other one to start screaming too. Soon you’ll wonder if you still have ear drums.
5. Book a hotel instead of AirBnB
This is purely personal preference of course, but our experience in Sydney left me thankful we stayed in a hotel instead of an AirBnB.
Of course, with AirBnB you get the comforts of an entire house (if that’s what you booked), access to a washer, kitchen, etc. But what you don’t get is daily housekeeping.
Because shit happens.
Any parent will know that things can get very messy with kids. In our case, Penny tends to poop with a lot of force. What happened was I was holding her, wondering if it was time to change her diaper, when she farted, and suddenly my arms were warm and wet, and I heard a loud splat coming from the bed in front of me.
Stunned, I shifted my gaze to the bed and saw a yellow splotch. Then I saw it this time. A stream of poop shot out from ABOVE Penny’s diaper, flew to the bed, and enlarged the yellow splotch.
Poop started dripping down the bed. And on to the carpet.
So yeah. Never was I more thankful that I could call housekeeping and not have to deal with it myself. I had to pay for laundry services to wash our clothes but it was worth it wtf.
6. Bring spare clothes… lots of them!
Because, you know, shit happens.
7. The bonding makes it worth it
We were suffering. We were counting down the days till we got to go home. We were secretly discussing going for another holiday to recover from this one. But even as we were going through hell, we knew this was an invaluable experience.
On one of our last days, Fatty turned to me and said, “You know despite everything, the best part of this trip is that we really got to bond with the kids.”
Exactly what I had been thinking! Because we weren’t out at work, or events or meetings throughout the day, we spent literally every second with our kids. As I said, our nanny watches Penny in the day while I take Fighter to school, walks, and do other duties and good as she is, she never figured out Penny’s schedule.
But after a few days of me taking Penny, I figured out her schedule is actually super predictable. She gets sleepy exactly 1.5 hours after her last nap, and hungry the minute she wakes up. Nanny couldn’t catch her sleepy cues so Penny would get immensely cranky at home. T_T I felt like I finally had special quality time with Penny that I didn’t really get cos I was always distracted by a clingy and attention demanding Fighter, and got to know her personality – she’s actually super cheerful, but a bit timid. And she loooooves attention hahaha.
As for Fighter, he learned that he could depend on Daddy to take care of him. Fatty learned how to properly look after him so I think they really bonded too.
So that’s what we learned. Now to go plan our next holiday. Without kids. Hahahaha.