AudBaby AudVlogs

Penny’s first kiss

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Last weekend we attended Fighter’s friend Chase’s birthday party.  Chase is a huge fan of trucks and fire engines so it only made sense that his mother, Sieu Ee throw his party at a fire station!

(I promise this story is relevant to the title wtf)

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Fighter and Chase are kind of like BFFs. They’re among the more talkative kids in class and therefore gravitated towards each other I guess hahaha. It also helps that both are friendly and unaggressive and peace loving wtf. S o sometimes I bring Penny with me when I go pick Fighter up from school and Chase always seemed very interested in this bald baby in my arms. He would shout, “Penny Penny!” whenever he saw her hahaha. But he and Fighter are so good friends and Fighter would also point out Chase’s baby sister when he saw her, so we chalked it up to mutual interest in their best friend’s family. Anyway, leading up to his birthday party, Sieu Ee told me that Chase would ask, “Is Jude coming? Is Penny coming?” And we mothers laughed about it to ourselves. But then this happened. DSC02836

Penny was sitting next to her Koko on the tarpaulin when Chase suddenly plopped down next to her.

Next thing I know, they’re having a very pleasant conversation in Babylish wtf.

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And then!  Suddenly they both looked away while smiling shyly WHAT IS THIS HAHAHAHAAH. DSC02844

And then later on the firemen distributed uniforms for the kids which explains Penny’s coat and Chase’s jacket.

 

Then this Chase came up to Penny and tried to hug her!!!

Look at them!  While Penny stared tenderly into his eyes hahahaha.

So that was encounter #1.  Fatty, Sieu Ee and I were falling about ourselves laughing at their antics.  How come so young already he knows that he’s supposed to like girls? How come he knows to hug her?

It’s the school holidays  now so some moms arranged for a play date yesterday.  When Chase saw Penny he immediately ran up to her….

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…and started tickling her WTF hahahaha.

But his tickling not very effective la cos Penny just stared at him in a mildly surprised manner and just watched him continue tickling her shirt wtf. But Sieu Ee told me that before the play date Chase was telling her, “I want to tickle Penny.”

Then when Sieu Ee asked him why he likes Penny, he said because she is cute hahahaha.

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And then! No photo evidence cos we were all stunned but somehow Chase put his hands on Penny’s face….

And kissed her.

On the lips.

Penny’s first kiss gone liao! Hahahahahaha.

Fatty better buy his shotgun early wtf.

Here’s a vlog of the fire station birthday!

AudSappy AudSuay

Stomach flu is for the weak!

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Down with stomach flu again.

Penny is suspected patient zero cos she threw up twice last Thursday.  I suspected it was the cafe we visited the day before because they had a massive play area with tons of toys and the kids were going nuts over it.  

But she seemed perfectly fine even after she vomited.  She had a big dinner, milk and went to sleep and was as good as gold the next day.

This morning I woke up feeling nauseous. I started throwing up and felt too terrible to even get out of bed.  Anything I swallowed came straight back up again.  So I basically stayed in bed curled up like a ball of lint wtf and tried to sleep it off.

Apparently the kids had some form of it too!  It’s been two days since Thursday but suddenly Penny started having watery poop. And Fighter vomited three times. :X

But they must be super human because they are completely unaffected!  Fighter would puke and cry for a bit but once he’s wiped up and in fresh clothes he would go back to playing wtf.  Fatty told me he saw them chasing each other around the house (Fighter importantly told Fatty, “I chasing baby”), playing tricks on each other (Penny held out Fighter’s toy phone only to snatch it away when he reached for it WTF) and generally being very boisterous hahaha.

So thankful they seem well!  Or else I think I die already wtf.  Still eating and drinking well, with wet diapers and toilet breaks so we’ll just let them recover on their own. Thank you Fatty for supplying me with bananas, 100 plus and Pocari Sweat.  For readying a bucket by the bed so I wouldn’t have to run to the toilet.  For patting my back to sleep.  For being my hot water bottle when I was shivering under the covers.  For bringing the kids in and out to see me so I would have a few happy moments out of a tiring, sickly day.

Fighter came running up to my bedside and asked me “Are you okay mommy?”  And he tried to hug me but was too pleased with himself for being so thoughtful he ended up just jumping up and down in delight wtf.

Penny came in multiple times.  Once I was sitting on the toilet bowl wtf but she wanted me to pick her up anyway.  She sat on my lap with her head on my shoulder quietly wtf. :X Other times she crawled up to me on the bed and rested her cheek on mine and lay there like that.  

Another time she marched up self-importantly, wielding a scrap of paper with a shopping list written by our helper so I could order groceries online hahahaha. I asked Fatty if he could get me another banana so Fatty asked her, “Penny, do you want to go get mommy a banana?” She grunted in affirmation so Fatty took her downstairs with him.  Minutes later, they both came in again.

Like before, Penny marched up importantly to my bedside, brandishing a banana.  I said “Thank you, darling!” and took it.  She continued to stand there expectantly, looking at me and the banana. Even did a little jig on the spot which is what she does when she’s anticipating something. Hahahahaha.

I asked her, “You want to eat the banana?” She answered very empathetically, “MMM!”

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When I offered my banana to her, she immediately tossed her pacifier. Into my vomit bucket WTF.

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And ate half of my banana in one bite hahahahaha.

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I am the mommy and I’m supposed to be the one kissing a boo-boo and wiping a sick brow.  But I was sick today but these three made it all better. (plus my parents who kept calling to check up on us! :D)

 

 

AudBaby Audvertorial

Imagine all the people

The other day, Fighter and I had a conversation. It went like this.

Fighter: Mommy! Are you a princess?
Me: No… I’m not a princess. But baby is a princess!
Fighter: Baby is a princess! And Mommy is a princess too!
Me: Oh okay I am a princess. How about Jude? Is Jude a prince?
Fighter: No I am a king.
Me: Oh sorry you’re a king.

A while later…

Fighter: Mommy, where my husband?
Me: You don’t have a husband, Fighter. You’re a boy. You’d have a wife, not a husband.
Fighter: Where my wife?
Me: You don’t have a wife yet. Next time when you’re big and you have a wedding, then you’ll have a wife.
Fighter: (digesting new information) I go to wedding dinner and I have a wife.
Me: Hahahaha you can’t go to anyone’s wedding dinner and get a wife. You have to have your own wedding next time.
Fighter: Next time when baby is a princess and I am a king I marry baby.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA

I had to keep a straight face and say: “No baby is your sister. Your wife will be another girl, a pretty girl who can be your princess.”

And that’s the extent of Fighter’s story telling hahahaha.

I was hoping he could craft a story out of his imagination for Disney Junior Asia’s Animate challenge.

Does your child love telling stories and comes up with extravagant fabulous tales?  (Um not telling lies la hahaha but making stories and adventures up)

Disney Junior will pick a story and bring it to life!

To Animate Your Imagination,

  1. Visit http://disneyjunior.disney.my/animate-your-imagination
  2. Tell Disney Junior your child’s imaginative story using one of the following three themes: Pirates, Princesses, Space Adventure
  3. To help Disney Junior imagine it, you may even share a photo of their drawing, or a video of them narrating the story
  4. Tune in to Disney Junior to see the animations!

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Disney Junior sent us a nice big package to assist in storytelling!  Fighter thinks it’s his birthday present hahahaha. IMG_20160606_110315

Loving all the goodies!  There’s a box of paints, a pack of brushes and sponges, a set of Sofia the First stamps, Crayola crayons and washable marker pens, a magnetic drawing board and even a Dinosaur coloring and sticker book.

I asked Fighter if he would draw a picture of a princess and he brightly said YES.

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….. IMG_20160606_110658

Hmm very abstract. Stand aside Picasso wtf.

Okay Fighter is still a little too young I think.  He definitely has the imagination but not the words and mental capacity to string them together even if he did.  So we’ll wait for the next time but for you guys with older kids, make their dreams come true literally on Disney Junior!

Visit Disney Junior to participate.

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With my prince and princess.

This post was written in collaboration with Disney Junior.

AudVlogs

Two new vlogs!

Woooo catching up on posting vlogs here.

First there’s a video of what we did on Mother’s Day weekend. Which is nothing much wtf.

I didn’t get any presents besides poopy diapers but it’s okay! Hahaha I will bide my time until they’re old enough and then I expect BREAKFAST IN BED. On a diamond plate wtf.

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Second vlog is of Fighter’s first ever school field trip. It’s themed Teddy Bear’s Picnic because they essentially have a picnic at Lake Gardens and all the activities are bear themed.

Enjoy!

AudSuay

How I broke the first bone of my life

It all started like any other family Sunday…

We decided to take the critters to the playground together with my parents, Ooib and Sherlyn, and Fayth.

Fayth and Ooib wanted to check out Taman Tasik Titiwangsa for its workout bars.  (don’t ask me, chin up bars or something la wtf).  It’s not our usual playground but we decided to go take a look.

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It was great fun!  It’s a huge playground and looked relatively well kept – the equipment was bright and quite clean.  And the kids obviously had fun!

Here’s Fighter on the swings.

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Here’s Penny going down the slide.  Her excitement so big she can’t close her mouth lolol.

Then the kids found a suspension bridge they simply had to cross.

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In Fighter’s mind, they are Jack and Jill going up the hill. Hahaha.

It was coming off this damn bridge that was when all trouble started. T_____T

There were steps leading down to the ground.  Mummy Ooi led Fighter carefully by the hand down, while I picked Penny up and prepared to step off the last step onto the ground.

Because I had my arms full of chubs, I didn’t notice a hole in the ground, right next to the steps.

I stepped down…. My left foot went right into the hole.

I don’t know what happened cos it happened so fast but suddenly I was falling to the ground.  With Penny in my arms! D: D:

Fat Her Ooi said he saw me as though in slow motion turn my body like a US Marine so that Penny wouldn’t hit the ground.

She bawled like a banshee though.

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Penny why you cry not you who fell down also hahahaahah. The scary part was I found I couldn’t stand up myself.  I finally understand literary cliches like “my legs turned to jelly” cos that’s what it felt like!  I couldn’t muster the strength to stand at all and Sherlyn and my mom had to pull me up. My right calf felt like it had been punched (by a grenade) and Mummy Ooi helped me massage it a little until I got back more feeling and the pain eased a bit. 16-05-25-23-34-17-651_deco Like Murphy’s Law, both critters suddenly wanted only mommy to carry so Fatty and Fat Her had to entice them with shoulder rides hahaha while I limped back to the car. Over the next few days the pain in my right calf lessened and I thought I’d be fine, it was probably a pulled muscle or something. But then I noticed something else.  A deep ache spread from the knee down to my ankle.  It felt like an extreme case of arthritis and it actually made me feel like whining. Lolol the last time I whined was when I had contractions HAHAHAH. So I decided to finally see a doctor. …. The doctor put me through an Xray and an MRI. And that’s how we discovered I fractured my fibula and partially tore a knee ligament. FML. 2016-05-25_11-43-52 Clinic insisted I sit in a wheelchair some more lolol. So that explains how I ended up with a leg brace and crutches. And why I’m partially immobile now FML.  The doctor says it should be all good in three months which is way too long. T______T  Apparently it must have been a pretty serious fall because he said at my age, I shouldn’t be getting injuries like these from just a fall (and not even from a high place). But I think it was holding Penny that did it.  Her extra weight probably pulled me down.  And because I was carrying her I couldn’t use my hands to cushion my fall so I fell hard and fast.  On the bright side, she was totally unscathed, just shocked from the fall. So Penny! You owe mommy. Lol P/S: On another bright side, I am building crazy core strength with the crutches and am moving around quite fast on them!  Maybe I can represent Malaysia in Special Olympics soon HAHAHAHA.

AudParenting

Why I will not shame my children into ‘good behavior’

So long time readers of my blog would know that Fighter is really addicted to his pacifier.

Like really.

This was the first ever time he accepted a pacifier and it was sweet relief for my nips wtf.

An excerpt from my blog then:

I buckled and got Fighter a pacifier.  I didn’t want to have to wean him off it, but then I noticed he was nuzzling at my breast and trying to feed every hour!  We thought it was a growth spurt but he’d overdrink and puke. -___-  And he also started stuffing his hands into his mouth and sucking his fingers so we figured he only wanted comfort and got him a pacifier.  #becausemynippleisnotapacifier

Given a choice between his fingers and a pacifier, I chose the pacifier as the lesser evil — mostly because I thought it would be easier to wean him off a pacifier then his fingers.

How? Can hide the pacifier but cannot chop off his fingers ma wtf.

We try to keep it to sleeping and car rides (because he used to be so cranky on car rides that I ended up giving him the chu chu then to shut him up :X) but if he sees it on the table or anything he’d demand for it.  And he has trouble giving it up unless he’s really distracted.  So when it’s not in use, I keep it out of his sight.

At the same time, the pacifier has been so good to me. When he’s in a tantrum and can’t stop himself, only the chu chu can calm him down.  When he wakes up in the middle of the night, all I have to do is pop back in the pacifier and he immediately goes back to sleep.

But Fighter will be three this August (ZOMG TIME FLIES OR WHAT) and he’s still a chu chu addict.  I’ve been contemplating weaning him off the pacifier.

I had no idea how to go about it, and I still don’t.  But recently, I noticed a change.

Occasionally, Fighter would pluck the pacifier out of his mouth by himself, hand it to me and say, “Mommy please keep my chu chu.”

Or “Jude has no chu chu. Chu Chu is shame shame.”

I am pleasantly surprised!  Nothing has changed at home so I assume it’s something he picked up in school.  None of his classmates take a pacifier (although there are a few thumb suckers) so maybe he’s feeling the pressure lolol.

We’ve also been telling him he’s a big boy while Penny is still a baby in an effort to cultivate pride and responsibility lol.  So maybe he’s coming to terms with his new identity as ‘big boy’ and getting rid of the chu chu goes with the territory.

So I decided to just go along with it; I felt he would continue to grow up and would need the pacifier as a comfort less and less especially when he’s off at school and doing big boy things.  I wouldn’t pressure or set a deadline to remove the pacifier.

But something happened today.

(I’d recently cracked my leg so I uh am currently taking a break from driving).  Normally I drive the kids around but I’ve had to ask our driver Uncle S to drive Fighter and me this week.

Now both my kids like Uncle S and are always waving at him or asking him to carry.

As usual after school, like a pacifier addict, Fighter came out of class and rummaged in his bag for his pacifier to suck hahaha. So when we got into the car he was already sucking it contentedly.

Uncle S glanced in the rearview mirror.  “Fighter, are you a big boy or a baby?” he asked.

Fighter replied, “Big boy!”

“Then why are you taking the chu chu?  Only babies eat chu chu. I thought you said you are a big boy?” said Uncle S.

I idly waited for Fighter to answer but noticed there was no reply from him.  I looked over at him in his car seat and was taken aback to see this.

 

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Fighter with his lips pressed tightly together, looking downcast.  His pacifier was not in his mouth, but dangling from his fingertips.

I said, “What’s wrong Fighter? Take your chu chu la.” And I tried to pluck the chu chu from his hand, thinking he couldn’t find it.

Fighter just shook his head sharply and continued looking down.  His lip shook and he was blinking hard.

Oh my god.  My two year old has been shamed.  Maybe even humiliated.

I gently pried the pacifier from his chubby hand.  Popping it into his mouth, I stroked his head and told him, “It’s okay darling.  You can take your chu chu.  You’re a big boy who likes his chu chu.”

He accepted the pacifier gratefully.  The chu chu bobbed up and down as he sucked on it.

But he remained quiet for the rest of the car journey. Uncle S tried to engage him in conversation and Fighter would look up with big wary eyes but he stayed silent.  He only cheered up when we got home.

I don’t know if it was the right thing to do — to tell him he’s a big boy and that it’s alright for big kids to take pacifiers.  For all I know, it may have pushed his progress back ten steps.

And I don’t blame Uncle S for it.  He’s an older gentleman and the older generations wielded shame as a parenting tool — “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” “See your cousin got 7As why you 7Ds?” “Big boys don’t cry!” “You’re acting like a spoiled child!”. As a nerve-frayed parent today, it’s easy to slip into nasty language like this too.

But I refuse to shame or to let my children be shamed.

Shame operates by giving children a negative image of themselves, rather than about the impact of their behavior.

Source

Fighter’s crestfallen face is difficult to forget.  There must be more positive ways of teaching which will not make kids feel like shit.  There must be a better way and I will find it.

 

 

Audvertorial

For those who need it most

My greatest fear as a child was becoming and orphan (and my parents getting divorced -yea my happiness was very closely tied to my parents haha).

My greatest fear as a mother is – besides my children dying on me CHOI CHOI CHOI – is us passing and leaving them orphans.

(I wanna say that I would die before I’d let Fighter or Penny become an orphan but that is just a horrible pun.)

Every child deserves a loving family.

If there is no family, they deserve to be loved and cared for anyway.

Every child deserves a roof over their heads.

Every child deserves to not go hungry.

Every child deserves to be educated.

Every child deserves to grow up in a stable environment, safe from harm and abuse.

Every child deserves a chance to be secure and happy.

And every child deserves a chance to grow up into good adults who will perhaps do the same for the children in their future.

It’s common for people to feel for orphans; after all humans are predisposed to want to care for the young of our species. But ever since becoming a mom, the cause of underprivileged children has never been more significant.

Years ago when I started working I registered for a monthly credit off my bank account under UNICEF for underprivileged kids in Malaysia but to be honest, I rarely gave a thought to it since then. There is still so much more we can do. So I was very happy to hear that McDonald’s a brand I genuinely love, and have worked with consistently recently organized a charity initiative for some children’s homes.

Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMHC) – yep, the same clear plastic box for loose change sitting on any McDs counter – arranged for a special outing for the children of ten orphanage homes …. to watch the Angry Birds movie!

I was invited to come join them!  Kids were asked too but I don’t think they can last a movie yet and I don’t want them to disrupt other people’s experience hahaha.

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This is the best Ronald McDonald EVER.  He was so committed to his job – greeting the kids and joking and making them feel at ease, and gathering everyone expertly for photos!

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With the kids from one of the orphanage homes.

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Another home!

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Erm we also wanna fit in by taking pics with Ronald hahaha.  Red and Chuck of the Angry Birds showed up and joined us! 😀

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As part of the initiative, RMHC also donated RM5,000 each to the ten children’s orphanage homes they worked with. :)

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Sat in on the screening for about an hour with Fiona, Michelle, Kathy and Kathy’s little girl before I had to rush back to resume mommy duties.

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…to this critter and his sister.  I honestly can’t imagine them being on their own without us to care for them. :(  Underprivileged children need all the help we can give. I’m glad Ronald McDonald House Charities is doing their part to contribute and it’s a gentle reminder for us to do the same. :)

If you would like to know more about what RMHC is doing to help the children, please visit http://www.rmhc.org/

This post was written in collaboration with McDonald’s



Audvertorial

How to watch movies on the next level

Nothing catches me more when it comes to my age than when it hits me…

That only ten years ago I had a clamshell phone that came with a blue backlight.

That a cloud was something white and fluffy in the sky, not something I use to store my photos.

That instead of Waze, I used to drive around with an actual GPS in my car and when it was cloudy… FML la confirm get lost already.

Instead of Spotify, I had to Kazaa and Napster songs. Hahaha. And then upload them into an mp3 player.


Behold! wtf

That I used to watch movies on DVD and TV channels. I never watched so much TV as when I was in school and I remember sitting in our dorm room in college in front of our small boxy TV, waiting for ANTM or Gossip Girls to start.

In the last ten years, the way we watch movies and TV shows has changed drastically (as has everything else). It’s as if the TV and the personal computer have merged and we use them interchangeably now. We stream movies and watch them on laptops. We hook up PCs to the TV so we can make use of the larger screen to work.

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Which is why this is the next generation computer.  Ten years ago my mp3 player is already Hello Kitty how can I resist a Hello Kitty themed computer!?

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This is the Acer Revo One Hello Kitty edition.

The lines between TVs and computers/laptops have blurred so much now that this has become a very interesting option – a computer without a screen.

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Because the culture today is about portability and ease of use and convenience, Acer teamed up with Sanrio Hello Kitty to come up with this adorable device.  It doesn’t come with a screen because it doesn’t need one!

Do you hook your laptop up to your TV so you can watch Netflix or downloaded movies on a bigger screen?

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This is your answer.

No more lugging your laptop home from office anymore to watch Korean dramas wtf.  The beauty of the Acer Revo One is that it takes up very little space on your TV console while giving huge space – 2TB of storage (which comes up to 400 DVD movies).

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Doesn’t hurt that it’s absolutely gorgeous to look at too!

It comes with a pink wireless keyboard, pink wireless mouse, and a bow-shaped cable organizer.

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And you can even download its app on any Android phone and control the device using your phone.

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With Nana, Kitty, Careen, Jessica, Bobo and Tzia at the launch. DSC02463

OMG see all these flatlay pros. *feels the pressure DSC02462

For tech whizes, here are more deets.. It’s powered by Inter Core i3 Processor and has an excellent dynamic 7.1 surround system.  In hooman terms, your room slash living room can turn into what would probably sound like your own movie theater hehe.

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If Hello Kitty is your thing (she IS mine!) and you’re looking for a stylish easy way to store movies and watch streamed content off your TV, this is for you. But hurry cos there’s only 600 units in  Malaysia!

This post was written in collaboration with Acer.

AudSappy

How my husband and I fight in our marriage

Hello hello!

So this is obvious from the title, but a reader recently asked if I would blog about how Fatty and I resolve disagreements.

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A lot of readers like to comment “#relationshipgoals” and similar on our pics *shy. But let me comfort you by saying we fight regularly also ok. If we didn’t it means that one of us is swallowing our anger and we’re just moving toward the day that one of us turns into a crazed killer wtf. #jokes

So yes, we do have fights.  I think we’ve mostly gotten our major differences out of the way in the early years so nowadays our fights are less um… existential?  They’re less about life and relationship philosophies now and more about bickering re: daily annoyances (like me forgetting to pick my dirty clothes off the floor wtf).  But when I think about it, we do fight in a certain way that consistently creates a positive resolution.

I narrowed it down and realized this is what we try to do.

  1. Don’t go to sleep angry

Yea I know this point has appeared in tons of listicles very cliched hahaha but very true.  I hate the feeling of waking up and remembering I’m supposed to be angry wtf and I don’t believe it’s good to let arguments simmer anyway.

This rule is about fixing the bad stuff so we can move on to happier things faster.  Why stay angry or sad very fun meh wtf.

So if possible, we resolve the argument before we go to sleep.  Even if it means we’re lying in bed in the dark already but still talking things out.  The nice thing is though, when we’re done we can just ‘otter’ (our term for holding hands to sleep) and fall asleep at peace.

2. Don’t bring up the past

I actually know couples who do this – bring up past disagreements or unhappiness – usually to win an argument. D: In my experience it only makes things worse! If you’re going to resolve today’s argument, you have to do it without pulling in past problems.  It’s a distraction from the issue at hand and deters you from solving on the present issue rationally.

3. No playing games 

This means NO SILENT TREATMENT, you silent treatment ladies. *shakes finger*  Also no saying nothing is wrong when there is obviously something wrong.

Actually I am totally a silent treatment person wtf.  I used to give silent treatment all the time lolol.  Partly because I need time to myself to sort out my emotions and calm down so I don’t say anything stupid.  But also partly cos it’s a way of showing that I’m upset.  But truth is, it’s a passive aggressive way of showing anger and it’s damn irritating to be on the receiving end!  It achieves nothing but making the other person angrier wtf.

So I may be fuming silently, but if Fatty makes an attempt to talk to me, I will force myself to answer him properly.

As tempting as it may be, this means no behavior like sarcasm or eye rolling either.  It’s hard and I’ve probably done it before myself but again, contemptuous behavior like this is disrespectful to the partner and will rile up tempers even more which is not conducive to resolving fights.  It’s difficult cos you’re so upset yourself but you need to control that urge.

4. Don’t say things you cannot take back

Again, I guess this is to win the battle, or to inflict maximum damage but I don’t understand people who throw out hurtful sentences like “Fine, break up la!” or “I hate you!” when they’re fighting with their partner!  You know that saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”?  WRONG.  Words hurt.  You may have won the battle but you just lost the war. (that was coined by me btw. I think. )

If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.  Once it’s out there, there’s no taking it back.  Even if you apologize, hurtful words will be remembered and it’s a crack in the relationship.  Too many cracks and any structure would eventually collapse.

5. Choose your words well

I guess this is related to not saying stuff you’ll regret.  In a fight we’re angry and we want to inflict hurt on the other person because we’re hurt ourselves.  And we want to win the argument.  But it’s good to keep in mind that a fight is not just to air grievances but to try to fix the problem so we can move on.

Using words like “you always do this” or “you never do that” are damaging because chances are, what you’re accusing your partner of is probably not something they do or don’t do ALL of the time.  “Always” and “never” are all-encompassing words which negate any good that your husband or bf has done.

I read somewhere that in an argument, try to focus on yourself more than attacking the other person.  So instead of “You always slam the door on my face!” you say, “I feel pain when you close the door on me” wtf.  This is not a real life example of course hahahaha but the point is, focusing on yourself sounds less accusatory and the other person will not react as defensively.  And you guys get to talk over the problem more constructively!

6.  Apologize if wrong

Yea this is a tough one.  How many of you will say sorry?  I’m not talking about the “Fine la sorry la!” type of apology but a proper sincere one.

I’m not really good at this either but Fatty makes it a point to apologize if he realizes he’s in the wrong.  Don’t think that saying you’re sorry will diminish your pride; apologizing takes courage. Apologies converts a desire for revenge to a willingness to reconcile.   And anyway even if it does take away your pride, relationship > pride right? If you don’t agree then please reconsider yourself wtf.

Anyway I say so easy but still working on this wtf.

7.  When done, don’t keep it or hold grudges

So you’ve more or less settled the argument?  Someone has apologized? It’s time to move on. Yes, you still want to nurse the negative feelings and wallow a little.  But resist the urge and just get over it.  You’ve already sorted out the argument so what good is there to dwell on it?

And while we’re on it, refer to point two! Not just don’t dwell on it; once you’re past this argument do NOT bring it up again as ammo for future fights.

So that’s it.

Fatty and I took years (and many fights) to get to this point.  Like I mentioned, I used to do the whole silent treatment thing, while Fatty would use the most hurtful words he could to win.  Luckily I have a hippopotamus hide and he also hot enough to tahan my Elsa treatment wtf.

I think the key point to take away is…. we try not to be too emotional when arguing.  When emotions aren’t kept in check, we say and do a lot of things that may irreparably damage the relationship and prevent us from solving conflict.

If you’re too upset about it, try walking away for a bit or giving each other space.  When the feels have died down a bit, then you can start talking in a more rational and constructive way.

Sometimes we cannot agree, and we literally agree to disagree.  Sometimes we have an “action moving forward”, eg one of us keeping the other’s disappointment in mind to avoid in the future.  It’s different each time but when we finish the argument, we move along with no hard feelings.

That’s generally how we try to fix our fights.  How do you usually resolve arguments?

AudVlogs

Doing the same thing every day!

Actually this is again a very average day in our lives. So average until I don’t know what to say about it HAHAHA.

Fatty is away on a business trip so it’s just me and the two critters. In this video:

Penny is sick(ish) and recovering from a bug
Hello Kitty Cafe
Hourglass preview launch
Penny wakes Fighter for school
The critters go cycling
Goodnight kids!