So it’s much better now but I’ve been suffering from a little self esteem dive due to being pregnant. T_____T
First, I didn’t have any sign of a bump for the longest time, but I did notice my waist thickening! D:
This wreaked havoc on my fashion style wtf. Mostly because all my clothes in recent months were all cropped tops and high waisted pants/skirts. -_-
To my horror, I found myself being unable to zip or button up my bottoms. D:
I thought okay fine I’d go look for shorts with elastic waistbands or loose dresses and headed to H&M.
Five years ago, everything came in babydoll waistlines! But maddeningly the trend in Malaysia now is all cinched waist dresses fml. Or high waisted pants. Or cropped tops.
I tried on like ten dresses and none of them looked good!!! Since they were all waisted dresses, I tried on one size bigger than normal but everything became too long for me and I looked more dwarflike than usual.
Got fed up and reverted to bigger looking pieces in my usual size, and either I couldn’t fit into them (T___________T) or I could fit but probably wouldn’t in a couple of months wtf.
I was so distraught! I felt fat and ungainly and even wished I hadn’t cut my hair so I could hide some fat behind it WTF. I also thought of getting extensions but I thought Hikky might kill me lolol.
I drove home and cried WTF.
Crazy lo hahahaha. While I was crying, my rational mind knew it was a very small thing. But I felt sooooooooooo sad about it.
After I finished crying I felt very ridiculous hahaha. Fatty meanwhile kept patting my hair and saying “you’re still cute… not fat at all… still very pretty….”
My current weight sigh. 3 kg up so far from my usual, which I know is really not a lot (my doctor told me I could gain up to 18kg *faints) but while I’ve more or less come to terms with it, it still affected me to see the numbers increase on the scale.
(In fact, I was so sensitive about it that when someone joked on Twitter that from now on it’d be Fatty and Fatty, not Shorty and Fatty anymore that I snapped at her and got all huffy about it, when before I’d laugh it off.)
I posted it on Instagram and got people telling me I should be happy I’m gaining weight because my baby is growing. I guess they meant well but it’s not something I want to hear la wtf because it came off sounding insensitive and preachy.
You think I’m not happy about my baby meh! Of course I am or else I wouldn’t have talked so much about it. But I can be happy about the baby AND upset at the same time that my body and self perception are changing. These two aren’t mutually exclusive and doesn’t make me a shitty person what.
I don’t think anyone who hasn’t been pregnant before will understand any of this anyway so I’d rather you don’t say anything if you’re not a mommy. Or if you really want to say something, please couch it in the gentlest, politest terms possible lol.
*end of hormonal rant
Anyway I made do by leaving buttons and zippers undone but it came to a point where that was becoming ridiculous. Unbuttoned flies invariably stick out and it becomes damn obvious that you forgot to zip your fly. I was also running out of tops long enough to cover the tops of my pants.
So the best Fatty in the world outlined a budget and told me to go shopping. I’ve never gotten a free license like that before lo hahahaha.
managed to find quite a few things! Mostly because this time I went into Zara and Miss Selfridge which I rarely do cos… their things are expensive la wtf. But their designs somehow a lot of flowy airy stuff very suitable for my needs now! So buy.
Thank you best Fatty ever!
And I scoured Foruchizu stock and managed to find a number of pieces suitable for big tummy times!
Sweetheart lace one piece! Victorian style and empire waistline! For me dress but I guess taller people have to wear something underneath haha.
Moon stone top and checkered pants! The pants are zippered but extremely stretchy so it fits and is super comfy at the waist. Top is already available here but pants will only be launched next week onwards!Then… I also realized the key to looking better during pregnancy is accessorizing and small details!
Actually Whattoexpect.com already said it la but I didn’t heed their advice hahaha. It’s true though that when we have less to play around with for clothes, what makes an outfit is the accessories and hair and makeup! All put together then you can still look very well groomed even if your outfit is shit wtf.
Kiss earrings are also Foruchizu haha.