AudParenting

Where do we go from here?

End of the year has been super busy for us!

Within the last week of school, Fighter’s school celebrated Children’s Day and took a field trip to school.

Penny even busier wtf.  She had a Rainbow Party, a year end performance, a full on water play day at school, and a Christmas party wtf.

IMG-20181121-WA0043

Fighter on his school trip.  They went to a local theme park but I can’t remember what it’s called wtf #shitmom

I don’t have photos of his concert but he apparently did so well!  Last time he wouldn’t even let me come watch him, but now he agreed to have Grandma and Daddy come.  He said Grandpa cannot cos Grandpa farts too much WTF FHL. Hahahahahaha.

IMG-20181115-WA0013

Penny and Jenn Vie, whom she says is her best friend now hahaha.  It’s Rainbow Party today, which is basically the culmination of all the colors they’ve learned about.  They’re supposed to wear colorful clothes but I miraculously found a rainbow print dress in Penny’s closet! I’m proud of my shopping wtf.

IMG-20181120-WA0020

Messy paint and water play time.

 

IMG_20181123_075804-1

She wanted to be Cinderella for the last day of school hahaha.

IMG_20181122_114241

During her performance!  She’s saying “Hi everyone” hahahaha.  Super cute this picture I love.

IMG-20181115-WA0021

Penny got a Good Behavior cert on the last week of school!  This is her second one this year; every week they choose 2-3 children who did something exemplary that week to present a certificate to.  It could be they were the best at something, or a personal achievement.

Penny got hers for “being loving to her friends and helpful to her teachers”. :))) When I met the teachers for end of term chat, they told me the same thing too – that Penny would look out for her friends and make sure everyone was ok.  And she’d rush to help the teachers wipe down tables and clear away their supplies. :)))

IMG_20181112_103448

This was the rest of Penny’s report.  I more or less already know all this, but just posting cos the pictures the school took are cute hahaha.

IMG_20181112_102915

OK I know this one she’s damn good at cos she already bosses everyone else around to follow rules lol.

IMG_20181112_105022

This one cos the top picture also so cute!  This little boy really likes Penny, calls her his best friend and is always seeking her out apparently.

 

Penny will be leaving this school and joining Fighter at his school next year!  I’m quite sad about this actually because both kids have been at this school since the start.  Fighter started play class here when he was one, so it’s been 4 years of our lives.   We’ve had a good experience at this school and Imma miss it!

But I decided to put them both in the same school next year cos I’m tired of doing two different school runs every day wtf.  Every day I drop Fighter off, then Penny.  Then I wait around a couple of hours before going back to Fighter’s school to pick him, then to Penny’s to get her.  Penny is quite mature anyway so I think she’ll do well there.

Fighter is at a Chinese kindergarten now and he will go on until primary school.  Penny will be the same.

I registered Fighter for Chinese primary school because it seemed the best option out of international and government schools, but I’m starting to doubt my decision. T____T  The problem isn’t that he can’t cope, it’s that he’s coping too well WTF.

He’s normally very agreeable and eager to please.  So because of that, he’s generally very well behaved and attentive in class.  As a result, he’s really good in his studies, especially Chinese, not just because he likes languages, but cos he tries very hard.

The downside is that said agreeability inside a strict Chinese school environment, where there’s only one right way (the teacher’s way), has created an unreasonable fear in him of getting scolded or “being wrong”.  I’ve noticed a reluctance to try new or “risky” things because he can’t make sure he’ll be “right”.  His teacher even told me that when she even turns her attention to him and asks, “Jude what are you doing?”, he freaks out and bursts into tears. O_O

And his school is just kindergarten, not a proper Chinese school!  They have rules but the teachers are cheerful and loving.  And – I asked Fighter himself – his teacher has never even scolded him before.  So I can only deduce that it’s the environment that has created this irrational fear in him.

It’s not that I want an environment free from rules for my kids – definitely not la cos life doesn’t exist without rules.  But I don’t want Fighter to be afraid of being different, or to make mistakes.  I want him experiment to find answers, without worrying if it’s the right ones.  If it’s not the right answer, it’s okay because if he’s not afraid of trying and failing, he will eventually get the right one.

Penny is a more immovable character who wants to excel but doesn’t care what people think so much so I actually think she’ll do well in a Chinese school hahaha.  But I also have doubts now about how much of her potential she (and Koko) would reach in this environment.

So that’s my dilemma now.  Where do the kids go from here?  (

  • yuhhui

    For me , I started out in a Chinese primary school and honestly, I hated it because of the tremendous amount of work. But as I grow up, I’m happy that my parents sent me there because I’m able to learn some discipline and responsibility ( i was quite a playful kid.lol). I don’t think being in Chinese school will prevent kids from trying out new things because ultimately, I believe in the support system in the family. My dad used to give us a lot of motivations and support. He too,was not afraid to let us make mistakes and always encouraged us to be different and try new stuff. In a way, I wasn’t raised in a rigid environment. I was then sent to a Kebangsaan high school and that was the time I discovered freedom and creativity. But i remained a little more rooted because i am quite disciplined by then. So in a way , i had best of both worlds. I think, regardless of whichever school you pick,your kids will turn out fine because they have good support from your family and that’s the most important factor. =)

  • bella red

    the dress is so beautiful!!!

    menu berpantang
    jam tangan
    shawl

  • Chris

    Personal opinion: I think the strictness and rigidity of chinese primary schools are sometimes exaggerated.

    I was taught English as soon as I could speak, and like Jude and Penny, went to a kindergarten that taught Mandarin as a subject. I was then enrolled in a Chinese primary school which emphasized alot on our morality, on top of academic performances and extra-curricular activities. Like any other chinese schools we were sternly disciplined when we misbehaved, but never unreasonably, and never without reason. I was also fortunate enough to have a headmistress who was a huge reader, and she incorporated various reading programmes into the school system to help nurture a love of reading in the students. I was a happy, healthy kid throughout my years there.

    All in all, life for me in a Chinese primary school was no doubt, tough and tiring, yet largely rewarding.

  • Yen Wei

    I agree with the comments below and am immensely glad that my parents sent me to a Chinese medium primary school. As a result I have a reasonably good foundation of Mandarin (its not an easy language) and I am thankful for the people I am able to connect and the opportunities it has provided me. However, school was not struggle free as I remember times I was frustrated that I simply could not finish my homework no matter how hard I tried (I don’t know how some of my friends did it! I suspect they had overzealous parents who helped). I largely got away from this rebel streak of mine and attribute it to the fact that I was constantly in top 3 of my grade (I was good at memorising and reproducing) and was also teacher’s pet hehe. That said, if you can find an alternative for your children to learn Mandarin well on the sides that could work as I understand the pain of seeing one’s kid struggle (just to illustrate, my school bag itself was literally three times my size!). It is not for everyone. It wasn’t the right fit for my sister and my parents took her out of Chinese school when she was around 10. Overall though, I would say high school and university / college had more of an impact to me in comparison (intellectual, emotional, personal development etc.) and were a bigger part of my formative years (to me, at least). Hope that helps!! 🙂

  • Matt

    As a parent of 2 kids, aged 6 and 3. I have the exact same dilemma.

    My elder is very extroverted and active whilst the younger is cool and calm. They go chinese medium kindergarten with the intention of a Chinese School education later. Whilst they have no issue speaking primarily Mandarin at school and English at home, we still think if our plan is right.

    Our plan was that with her school in Mandarin and our family support in English, and exposure to explore in English. It will provide the right balance. We may opt for International for their secondary, assuming we’ve saved enough 🙂

    My elder girl actually enjoy mandarin and have no problem with it. But I do have a fear of the rigidity and lack of critical thinking. Although, there are many parents who has also told me that SJKC these days are much more holistic, so it’s not as bad.

    As a product of full kebangsaan school and and local tertiary education, I want the kids to pick up mandarin and having the capability to learn ‘how to learn’ rather than memory and build a growth mindset and I still have hope that SJKC is the right path, but I fully feel your dilemma and very often, we are not sure if our choice is the right one.

    One way to look at it is that you can always change if you start with SJKC but you can’t change the other way around (maybe you can but it’ll be difficult).

    I think as long as you stay close to your kids, talk to them (not at them) and bring them along the schooling journey. Either way won’t be that bad.