Audrey = Snowman

Have discovered stretch marks on certain part of anatomy, much to my horror. Did self balloon up overnight? Did not notice any signs of obesity myself, but thanks to “thoughtful” comments by 1001 relatives and friends (i.e. Malcolm Lee, Barry Ooi, rest of Ooi family etc. *), have thus decided to exercise self control and moniter eating to get back fit body (without developing anorexia or similar, of course).

Fitness regime, starting from tomorrow:
1. Eat only 3 meals a day
2. Do not take too much rice
3. Do not eat Maggi Mee for teatime or midnight snack
4. Stop stocking up on junkfood (Brother Ooi, stop tempting me) and buy healthy food like fruits and oatmeal

5. Do 20 situps (Hello, washboard stomach!)
6. Take stairs instead of lift
7. Stop craving Slurpees and Cornettos
8. Do not go to sleep immediately after eating (if possible, do not sit down immediately after eating, either)

*Also, have been betrayed by own mother who keeps pointing out and pinching adipose tissue situated at only daughter’s waist to interested relatives. Probably thinks this fat is going to guarantee her grandchildren. Fat hopes. (no pun intended)

Fitness Goal
1. Get back stomach with two abs – v. sexy and empowering
2. Reduce size of ass while retaining size of arms, shoulders.
3. Get legs to look less muscular (looks too strange on petite me) – note to self: no exercise involving legs ie. running, cycling or similar.

Marilah kita berusaha bersama-sama menentang cellulite!! Fuhfuhfuhfuh…

PS. I’m back from Penang.


Achy-Breaky Heart

Just goes to show how hopelessly unfit you are when all you do is play a few games of foosball and 10 hours later, your joints are screaming bloody murder and you can hardly lift your arms up above your head to reach for the medicine cabinet without having some kind of spasm.

The reason why I’m stuck here on a Friday night is because (huzzah!) the Familial Unit is going to balik kampung tomorrow. I’m so annoyed that I have to miss Hartamas tonight just because as always, we are getting “an early start tomorrow morning”. Which in the case of the Ooi family, has never happened. Why am I annoyed? Well, partly it’s of course due to my eternal spirit of “hong-sohness”, which H S I N can well attest to :D, also partly to my desire to spend as much time with my friends as possible before I leave, and lastly to the irrational feeling I’ve had recently that I wanna be with my friends as much as possible so they won’t forget I exist. And to feel that I belong in a group.

I know I’m being v. v. paranoid and irrational but for a while I felt so alone because everyone was in a uni somewhere and had a circle of uni friends while I didn’t. Everyone seemed to be so busy with their new lives and activities and new friends. Felt like I was adrift in the ocean with nowhere to hold onto. But I’ve gotten more or less past that self-piteous state-lah. Lots of thanks and love go out to my beloved M I N (who knew about it) and H S I N (who didn’t), who have done a lot more for me about this than they’ll ever know. *muaks*

NOTE: This is a really nonsensical entry actually when I think about it. Don’t mind me, boys and girls.


There’s A Hole in My Bucket

*winces in pain and discomfort* Something tells me that I might be a victim of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. True, I’ve always had a sensitive stomach, reacting quite violently especially to curries or the-slightest-bit-dirty food, as well as being very prone to gastric. I’m known for “going” in the strangest places; the toilet in Novel House in SS2 (which btw, was actually meant only for their workers), a motel at the side of Petaling Street, onboard the KTM going to Singapore, Chek Lap Kok Airport, and of course countless times at Taylor’s toilet, D FLoor together with my darling partner-in-crime, Ruth (give her a big hand, ladies and gents! – literally).

Anyway, nothing compares to what I’ve been experiencing the past week. For some reason, nowadays when my stomach decides it has to go, it has to go. Warning signs: very intense pain in the stomach area – the type that makes you feel like bending over and breaking out in sweat and goosepimples, loss of appetite, weak feeling in the legs and overall fear that I might just embarrass myself there and then. It’s gotten so bad that once I couldn’t even finish my dinner and had to force my whole family to quickly finish up and drive home asap. What kind of health problem is this for a 19-year old girl who’s supposed to be in her prime, anyway?

There’s A Hole in My Bucket

AudDisgusting AudSuay

Return of the Roach

Oh god, I think the cockroach that haunted me last night is psychic. I was just typing in the word roach for my profile (see The DON’T LIKES) when i heard this rattling sound and there It was, on top of the curtain railing. It was as though It knew I was thinking about it.

Being a little smarter this time, I raced to the kitchen, grabbed yesterday’s Malay Mail and rolled it into a stick. Then, being very brave this time, I proceeded to beat the living daylights out of It. I think I had to whack it at least 10 times before its legs would stop twitching. *Gives myself a pat on the back for being so courageous*

Now it’s lying there, dead in the corner, waiting to be found and disposed of by my mother/brother/father. I am NOT touching that disgusting thing.

Moment of silence for the Roach. (I’m not that evil). Sorry, roach. It was either your life or my peace of mind. Guess its obvious which one won. 😀


Not for the faint-hearted

I am quaking in terror because right before this, when I was sitting here in front of the comp, minding my own business, sniggering at other people’s ugly shots on Friendster when all of a sudden, I heard this horrendous buzzing sound beside was a COCKROACH! A 2-inch long cockroach!

I jumped up from the chair and clapped my hand over my mouth to cover my scream, lest my mother wake up and discover I was still awake at 330 am. I superbly ran to the kitchen, pulled out all the fly swatters I could find (my mother’s hobby is killing flies; I suspect she imagines she’s playing badminton) and started comparing their sizes to see which would be the most formidable weapon.

With the most vicious-looking one in hand, I stalked back to the computer only to be chased out of the room two seconds later. As it turns out, the MONSTER had also unleashed its own weapon: it was FLYING!! I certainly couldn’t beat that now, could I? I mean, you don’t see humans hovering around anywhere, do you? That’s probably why those horrible insects outnumber us like mad. And that’s also why I’m surrendering and going to bed.

Maybe halfway thru the night it’ll die from lack of light or something. I heard some insects do that.