Hot Cross Buns

The cake is done! Amidst a lot of sweat, blood and tears from me and Brother Ooi.
For people who are interested, this is the recipe (and what we managed to do with it):

1. Preheat oven to 220 degrees Celcius. Grease a 25-cm round cake tin. (Unfortunately, forgot to check temperature of oven, think it was only about 50 degrees. And the not-smart Brother Ooi told me to grease it by spreading butter all over the tin with my bare fingers. So I did.)

To prepare Sponge Cake:
1 At low speed, mix icing sugar and ground almonds in mixer. (So far so good. Brother Ooi managed to spend half an hour doing this)

2. Add eggs gradually and whip at high speed until fluffy. (Still going fine)

3. Fold in sifted flour, cocoa powder followed by melted margerine. (What the hell does fold mean? Margerine was unavailable so butter was used. Butter was melted too early on and decided to form lumps among itself. Scraped it in anyway)

4. In a separate bowl, beat egg white and castor sugar until stiff and fold into chocolate mixture. (Egg shell pieces fell into egg white, amidst lots of cussing and mass inserting of fingers into egg white bowl to retrieve them. Later realized that there were black dots in it and decided to ignore it. Egg white and castor sugar refused to stiffen no matter how much Brother Ooi’s macho arms whirled them around. F*ck it lah)

5. Put batter into a round cake tin and bake for 10 minutes. (10 minutes wasn’t enough, due to low temperature of oven – cake was still wet. Put in for another 5 minutes – then cake became consistency of brick)

6. Trim the side of the cake and place it into 23-cm round springform cake tin. (Had to use fruit knives for this due to cake’s bricklike texture. Realized in horror that cake tin wasn’t greased well enough and that cake had stuck to bottom of pan. Efforts to remove cake from pan resulted in cake breaking up into tiny crumbs. Brother Ooi cried on my shoulder)

To prepare Cheese Topping:

1. Beat cream cheese and castor sugar in mixer until light and fluffy (No problem)

2. Add lemon zest. Cream well. ( How do you cream lemon zest?)

3. Fold in whipped cream (Poured cream in. In hindsight, wonder if cream should have been whipped first – box did not say)

4. Sprinkle gelatine over water and dissolve over low heat. Stream slowly into cheese mixture (Tried to sprinkle but gelatin fell in big lump into water. Took more than 3 mins in microwave to melt. Then hardened. Also scraped into mixture)

5. Pour topping onto cake and refrigerate until set. Decorate as desired. (Not bothering to decorate)

Miscellaneous complications:
1. Halfway through, Brother Ooi abandoned ship, leaving adorable sister all alone to handle things and ran off to take a dump.
2. Daddy Ooi kept coming into kitchen to laugh at offspring’s efforts and remind offspring that the last project offspring did together (which was assembling a DIY shoe cupboard), offspring succesfully nailed doors of shoe cupboard to the back of it so now shoe cupboard has doors on its back and a covered sheet of wood on its front.

1. From outside, cake looks edible.
2. Got egg white on arm, courtesy of evil Brother Ooi
3. Have skinned and cut thumb, courtesy of I-know-not-what
4. However, was not electrocuted by blender, mixer or microwave. Very thankful and certain that animosity between me and kitchen appliances has ended. On the other hand, the battle with VCD players continues.


Jiiiive Talkin’

I’m betting that H s i n ‘s blog entry for today will be titled some song from Saturday Night Fever, am I right?:D Yes, yes, boys and girls, Saturday Night Fever-The Musical = Fantastique!

Watching Saturday Night Fever has given me the inspiration to:

1. Learn disco-dancing (take note: the 70’s type, not Atmos/trance/Melbourne Shuffle dancing) – But this might take some effort since I can’t even walk up the stairs or on a flat ground without tripping most horrendously

2. Buy and wear one of those 70’s style dresses with below-knee, extremely flair hemlines and halter/spaghetti tops

2. Start wearing heels again (Come to realize that height does not really allow not wearing them, anyway)

3. Find lover who can dance, sing, walk and hold women’s waists like Tony Manero (v. swoonworthy)

4. Take singing classes

5. Buy a discoball and hang it in room

For full synopsis of day, you can check out Hsin’s blog. She’s probably very rajinly typed everything out, unlike yours truly. But Brother Ooi is back. Which means we have a cake to bake! (For Mummy Ooi’s Mother’s Day) Besides, I have to practise my pointing-finger-up-at-sky-with-one-leg-cocked move.

AudEmo AudRubbish

Spoonful of sugar

*blows nose in vain attempt to unblock it*

As you can see (or hear), yours truly is not feeling that hot. Have been suffering from leaky/cemented nostrils, what feels like a sandpapered throat, and tearing eyes for the past few days. As such, spent whole day lying around on bed/sofa, letting out groans and cussing viruses. Also, water tastes bitter. Daddy Ooi, how could you pass this dastardly disease to your only daughter aka the light of your life aka the apple of your eye aka precious jewel etc., etc. I think you get the idea.

Currently scouting around Friendster for pics of cute guys with H s i n . Haha I know…I’m damn lifeless. But it gives me hope that there are cute guys around. Haven’t seen any in real life other than CPU guy (Power of Four: remember him?) I have this soft spot for guys with big eyes, sharp noses and messy spikes aka Japanese hair. πŸ˜€ Like what Hsin and I were saying: *gets down on knees* Dear god, please give me one of them to love and to cherish. I will sure treat him well” πŸ˜› But it’s still my principle to never message any guy online first. P a k L u n, sorry I didn’t go to your Friendster page as you suggested. πŸ˜› But I still love you as Bender!

Oh no, I just realized that I’ve somehow stopped looking at guy’s photos and am checking out girls now. Some of them are really so hot, it either makes you feel like stepped-on cow turd or turning lesbian.

He just told me that he felt “incomplete without me”. Of course my first question was, “in what way?”. The subject was quickly changed so maybe I’ll never know. But I’ve come to realize something that I’ve never wanted to admit before: that the past is the past and however much I wish for the past to return and for me to relive it, well, that’s impossible, innit? Something that I’ve always hoped for to happen is now something that I would rather not have happen. Not because I don’t want it too (I don’t quite know actually) but because it’s just too complicated. I do wonder what would it be like if something were to start again. Would the problems and differences that we used to have still be around? Or would we have changed and matured over time so things would go smoother now?

Fook, this was supposed to be a funny blog, not one for me to lament and whine and talk about teen angst or whatever it’s called. With none of this sappy shite lying around. It won’t happen again, if I can help it.

AudEmo AudNerd

Turn left, turn right?

*rubs eyes blearily* I’ve been at this for hours (ok lah maybe not hours) and I still haven’t decided what course to take in uni. My entire life depends on this decision and I can’t seem to make it! How did everyone so easily decide what they wanted to study and work as for the rest of their lives?? R u t h happily chose foodtech at RMIT, L o w C h u i Y e n is practising drilling holes in people’s teeth in Melbourne, Orang Melbourne yang lain is counting money and drawing lines for his accounts and H s i n and M i n are uh, attending tutorials and writing bio/chem reports at Monash (sorry women – still can’t pinpoint what exactly you’re studying :P)

How did any of you make those decisions that seem so nerve-wracking and scary to me? Maybe because for eg., R u t h is interested in food and Orang Melbourne does love accounts. So what do I love? My hair, seriously. And makeup. As my close friends know, my dream was always to open a hairsalon. But if I were to bring it up with Daddy and Mummy Ooi, well, there would be a nice funeral to attend. Waste of my talent, as they like to put it.

Just the other day, Brother Ooi asked me, when I was little, what did I want to be when I grew up?

I wanted to be a princess.

I thought when I grew up, I would be superbly beautiful and be tall, with fair skin and long straight black hair and look like Vivian Chow (anyone remember her from old HK serials?). Unfortunately none of anything I mentioned came true. And I thought that since I was going to be superbly beautiful and look like Vivian Chow, well naturally I would then catch the attention of some passing prince and marry him and turn into a princess that way. Other than that, I wanted to be a doctor or draw cartoons alΓ‘ Disney.

Unfortunately, I don’t think my art talent or computer skills are anywhere or will get to anywhere near what Disney or Pixar is looking for, neither do I think that the fact that I feel faint at the sight of blood is going to change anytime soon. So I turn to other options. Having been in the science stream my whole life, I’ve decided not to touch the sciences ever again. So that rules out pharmacy, engineering, dentistry and whatnot. Then I thought I would go all artsy-fartsy and intellectual and take philosophy (Oh Socrates, Aristotle and Homer Simpson!). But what am I going to do with a degree in philosophy?? Name me one occupation other than lecturing and I’ll kiss your feet.

Can anyone help me out here??

Things I like:
1. Hairstyling
2. Makeup
3. Making people laugh
4. Talking to people
5. Taking photos (of myself or other people)

I could be a comedian who styles the hair and makeup of her audience then takes photos of everyone to send to their grandkids/neighbours/snooty colleagues.


Audrey = Snowman

Have discovered stretch marks on certain part of anatomy, much to my horror. Did self balloon up overnight? Did not notice any signs of obesity myself, but thanks to “thoughtful” comments by 1001 relatives and friends (i.e. Malcolm Lee, Barry Ooi, rest of Ooi family etc. *), have thus decided to exercise self control and moniter eating to get back fit body (without developing anorexia or similar, of course).

Fitness regime, starting from tomorrow:
1. Eat only 3 meals a day
2. Do not take too much rice
3. Do not eat Maggi Mee for teatime or midnight snack
4. Stop stocking up on junkfood (Brother Ooi, stop tempting me) and buy healthy food like fruits and oatmeal

5. Do 20 situps (Hello, washboard stomach!)
6. Take stairs instead of lift
7. Stop craving Slurpees and Cornettos
8. Do not go to sleep immediately after eating (if possible, do not sit down immediately after eating, either)

*Also, have been betrayed by own mother who keeps pointing out and pinching adipose tissue situated at only daughter’s waist to interested relatives. Probably thinks this fat is going to guarantee her grandchildren. Fat hopes. (no pun intended)

Fitness Goal
1. Get back stomach with two abs – v. sexy and empowering
2. Reduce size of ass while retaining size of arms, shoulders.
3. Get legs to look less muscular (looks too strange on petite me) – note to self: no exercise involving legs ie. running, cycling or similar.

Marilah kita berusaha bersama-sama menentang cellulite!! Fuhfuhfuhfuh…

PS. I’m back from Penang.


Achy-Breaky Heart

Just goes to show how hopelessly unfit you are when all you do is play a few games of foosball and 10 hours later, your joints are screaming bloody murder and you can hardly lift your arms up above your head to reach for the medicine cabinet without having some kind of spasm.

The reason why I’m stuck here on a Friday night is because (huzzah!) the Familial Unit is going to balik kampung tomorrow. I’m so annoyed that I have to miss Hartamas tonight just because as always, we are getting “an early start tomorrow morning”. Which in the case of the Ooi family, has never happened. Why am I annoyed? Well, partly it’s of course due to my eternal spirit of “hong-sohness”, which H S I N can well attest to :D, also partly to my desire to spend as much time with my friends as possible before I leave, and lastly to the irrational feeling I’ve had recently that I wanna be with my friends as much as possible so they won’t forget I exist. And to feel that I belong in a group.

I know I’m being v. v. paranoid and irrational but for a while I felt so alone because everyone was in a uni somewhere and had a circle of uni friends while I didn’t. Everyone seemed to be so busy with their new lives and activities and new friends. Felt like I was adrift in the ocean with nowhere to hold onto. But I’ve gotten more or less past that self-piteous state-lah. Lots of thanks and love go out to my beloved M I N (who knew about it) and H S I N (who didn’t), who have done a lot more for me about this than they’ll ever know. *muaks*

NOTE: This is a really nonsensical entry actually when I think about it. Don’t mind me, boys and girls.


There’s A Hole in My Bucket

*winces in pain and discomfort* Something tells me that I might be a victim of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. True, I’ve always had a sensitive stomach, reacting quite violently especially to curries or the-slightest-bit-dirty food, as well as being very prone to gastric. I’m known for “going” in the strangest places; the toilet in Novel House in SS2 (which btw, was actually meant only for their workers), a motel at the side of Petaling Street, onboard the KTM going to Singapore, Chek Lap Kok Airport, and of course countless times at Taylor’s toilet, D FLoor together with my darling partner-in-crime, Ruth (give her a big hand, ladies and gents! – literally).

Anyway, nothing compares to what I’ve been experiencing the past week. For some reason, nowadays when my stomach decides it has to go, it has to go. Warning signs: very intense pain in the stomach area – the type that makes you feel like bending over and breaking out in sweat and goosepimples, loss of appetite, weak feeling in the legs and overall fear that I might just embarrass myself there and then. It’s gotten so bad that once I couldn’t even finish my dinner and had to force my whole family to quickly finish up and drive home asap. What kind of health problem is this for a 19-year old girl who’s supposed to be in her prime, anyway?

There’s A Hole in My Bucket

AudDisgusting AudSuay

Return of the Roach

Oh god, I think the cockroach that haunted me last night is psychic. I was just typing in the word roach for my profile (see The DON’T LIKES) when i heard this rattling sound and there It was, on top of the curtain railing. It was as though It knew I was thinking about it.

Being a little smarter this time, I raced to the kitchen, grabbed yesterday’s Malay Mail and rolled it into a stick. Then, being very brave this time, I proceeded to beat the living daylights out of It. I think I had to whack it at least 10 times before its legs would stop twitching. *Gives myself a pat on the back for being so courageous*

Now it’s lying there, dead in the corner, waiting to be found and disposed of by my mother/brother/father. I am NOT touching that disgusting thing.

Moment of silence for the Roach. (I’m not that evil). Sorry, roach. It was either your life or my peace of mind. Guess its obvious which one won. πŸ˜€


Not for the faint-hearted

I am quaking in terror because right before this, when I was sitting here in front of the comp, minding my own business, sniggering at other people’s ugly shots on Friendster when all of a sudden, I heard this horrendous buzzing sound beside was a COCKROACH! A 2-inch long cockroach!

I jumped up from the chair and clapped my hand over my mouth to cover my scream, lest my mother wake up and discover I was still awake at 330 am. I superbly ran to the kitchen, pulled out all the fly swatters I could find (my mother’s hobby is killing flies; I suspect she imagines she’s playing badminton) and started comparing their sizes to see which would be the most formidable weapon.

With the most vicious-looking one in hand, I stalked back to the computer only to be chased out of the room two seconds later. As it turns out, the MONSTER had also unleashed its own weapon: it was FLYING!! I certainly couldn’t beat that now, could I? I mean, you don’t see humans hovering around anywhere, do you? That’s probably why those horrible insects outnumber us like mad. And that’s also why I’m surrendering and going to bed.

Maybe halfway thru the night it’ll die from lack of light or something. I heard some insects do that.