It actually happened a month ago la wtf.
And it was the biggest event of November for me. T_____T
So leading up to it, Fighter would tell me now and then that he was worried he couldn’t remember the moves for his graduation performance wtf. And I gently laughed it off each time, chalking it up to Fighter’s slightly anxious personality.
But then the day came…. and I didn’t expect to be overwhelmed with all these emotions I didn’t know I’d feel!
Penny and her friend Kiesha (whose brother is Fighter’s classmate) running around like the princesses they are wtf. This was before the ceremony started, when all the six year old graduates were in their classes, trying on their robes and caps.
After that we had to leave the very important graduates and go into the auditorium to wait for the ceremony to start. There was a speech or two, some singing and then they started announcing the classes and giving out certificates of graduation from kindergarten!
I knew it was gonna happen – duh, why else would we be sitting in that auditorium wtf – but it still hit me right in the gut: my son is graduating kindergarten. T________T
Look at this little boy. T3T All grown up and accepting his graduation certificate like a little man. T3T Shaking hands with people some more. Did I teach him how to shake hands. T3T
He looks so proud, and if anything, I was even prouder.
And then, to my disbelief, Fighter proceeded to sweep up two prizes . One was for ting xie/ejaan/spelling – every week they do a spelling test for either Mandarin, Malay or English and those with the best scores are awarded a trophy. I think Fighter missed a 100% once or twice but evidently still good enough to get a trophy hahaha.
Fighter had already told me he was getting two prizes, but he forgot what the other one was for. His details sounded too vague to believe so I didn’t hahaha. So yea I was so surprised when he picked up another award – for oustanding performance! Honestly I have no idea what “outstanding performance” means cos suspiciously, they’re all boys LOL plus there’s already a top 3 in class. This is a separate category. I feel like “outstanding performance” actually means most improvement which I am very happy about!
Fighter is the least naughty kid ever but I think he improved cos he used to cry a lot last year hahahaha. His teacher Ms Ho said he got so much better this year plus he’s apparently hands down the best behaved child in class so that could be it wtf.
Back in the classroom with his beloved Ms Ho, and Ms Photo Ruiner of the Year.
I am and have always been so proud of you but I didn’t know how much until I saw you walk on to that stage and receive your prizes. I cried then, because I was so proud and honored to be your mother, and I also cried a little because every step you take feels like a step away from me (even though it shouldn’t.)
Every day I see you maturing and growing more and more independent. You are sweet to your little sister, adore your father, and you are so forgiving of me when I am clumsy and accidentally hurt you or spoil your things wtf. You are so independent now, going about your day, busy with your plans of play, and making your small decisions. Yet at night when I put you to bed, you pull me close, snuggle against my arm and whisper “I like this mommy.” And I am the center of your world again.
I didn’t have any notions when I got pregnant with you, but if I did have any, you would have blown them all wide open, the amazing little person you are.
I will cry again on the first day you start primary school, but if you ever read this, please know how much I love you and am proud of you. It is a privilege to raise you (and Penny) and to watch you grow into the wonderful man I know you will be.
(shit I write this own self want to cry again WTF)
Here’s a vlog I made of that big day! So glad I captured it — such great memories. <3
Just an update on er myself wtf. Since I always update about the kids I have to remind myself this blog is actually called Fourfeetnine hahaha.
So we’ve launched our fifth location, at Star Boulevard in August. My job before this was primarily to design and build new centers and we’re actually done for the time being! We’re going to focus on building up and stabilizing all our centers for now which essentially means I’m out of a job lolol.
So my job scope has changed a bit. Luckily I still have a job wtf. Since my background was advertising and social media, I’m going back to marketing (and sales) cannot escape wtf. Star Boulevard is our biggest and newest center, so the priority was to promote it as much as possible. This is where I come in.
The truth is, I left marketing years ago cos I was very disillusioned with the industry wtf. It was interesting and exciting and creative but eventually I got to a point where I didn’t see the point. Advertising is basically fluff wtf. :X After every campaign is over, it’s gone and there’s nothing to show for it. Most of the time, you can’t even directly correlate sales to the ad campaign, and even if you can, clients don’t always share this information with agencies (which is where I worked). In the end, I left because I felt like I was working so hard for nothing tangible in results.
So I was dreading going back into “marketing”. I don’t know if it’s cos Colony is our own thing, or because I’m doing different things now but I’m quite enjoying it! We have very capable heads of marketing and sales so I don’t need to do daily operations. I do the fun things! Like networking and forming relationships with our guests, and inviting over friends and clients (or clients who become friends wtf) to check out the space. I’m a very clear extrovert so all these is not really work to me hahaha.
One special project that we worked on this quarter though was a wedding fair!
See, we created this big beautiful (if I may so myself wtf) space that for the first time in the history of our spaces, is big enough to hold not just corporate events, but intimately sized weddings!
We’ve actually had enquiries before for weddings but none of our event spaces have been big enough to host a wedding…. until now! Based on a round table configuration of 10 pax each, it can fit max 2o tables but I think 15 tables is a more comfortable number la.
It’s our first time going into this new industry so we’re very noob at it. But it’s fun la because weddings! So to kind of introduce our (little) ballroom and tell people that, “hey you can have weddings here too!”, we decided to throw a wedding fair.
The ballroom isn’t very big after all, and I hated the idea of a big ass mass produced wedding fair with booths. So instead of a typical fair, I envisioned an event which upon walking in would feel like a whole wedding in itself. We wanted couples to walk in and see the place done up as how a wedding would, and be able to envision their own wedding at Star Boulevard, down to not just the decorations but also canape and dessert setups, and a designated bridal suite. We would have have only a select few vendors of each type, and these wedding vendors would be people who focused on creating unique, custom experiences for their couples, not churn out fast fixed packages for max profit. Basically vendors I believe would share our values. 😀
The entire event flow would be exactly like a wedding. A couple coming in would register at the registration table (like in a wedding), then our team would tour them around the space. The ballroom would be done up on both sides in a wedding like way
It was my first time organizing something like this and honestly I’m not very organized la wtf. Big big thanks goes to Sam and She Mun, our heads of sales and marketing, and their team for handling so much, so competently based on (sometimes) vague directives wtf. They really made the whole thing happen.
Before further ado, here’s the list of the vendors we worked with:
The White Atelier
Without further ado! Let me spam a lot of pics wtf.
Some behind the scenes shots taken with my trusty Huawei before I move on to the nicer professional photos…
Me taking ootd in front of Pathway’s giant mirror lol.
Penny supervising the setup of Soiree Lab.
My hair! Done by Maggie Mah of MM Productions. Damn nice ok and she didn’t even use much hairspray but she secured it so well that I slept on it and woke up and it was still the same LOL. So I wore my hair like that the next day again WTF.
Maggie and Lumi! The reason why we were all getting makeup done is because the whole place was already styled up so nicely so we decided to get it some friends to come and shoot and get some nice shots in. Fatty and I did one with the kids too as flower boy and flower girl! Photos in another post probably wtf.
Snuck a picture of Careen doing her girl boss thing in the bridal suite. As part of our wedding package, we designated one of our Luxe Suites as a bridal holding suite for brides and their entourage to get ready/touch up. For the wedding fair though, we hosted our preferred partners like The White Atelier for customized shoes…
Armadale for wedding gowns…
Lola Gown for evening dresses and photoshoot dresses… And of course MM Productions for makeup and hair.
Here’s the setup done by Pathway.
And me with Povy and Derrick who rushed like crazy to make it in time for the shoot thank you guys. <3
Vincent of Trees On The Moon, one of my favorite photographers at his little corner.
And Grace of Stories.my whom I’ve always wanted to work with, at hers talking to a guest.
Now for the nice photos! These were taken by one of our team, Lucas, and wtf, his photos so nice they look professional. T3T
What greets you when you walk in – our reception table and a feature of our collaborators.
This is Whichkraft’s setup on our rooftop. So perfect for ROMs T______T This layout seats 40 but by extending the chairs on the side, we can fit a maximum of 70 people.
With the Petronas Twin Towers as your backdrop. *swoons*
Designated seating. ^^
One last look before we say goodbye and head downstairs to the actual ballroom…
Pathway Events’ setting! One side of our ballroom is a brick wall while the other is coated in concrete paint for a old, industrial look. I love how Pathway tweaked their colors and featured amethyst and maroon shades, which contrasted beautifully with the grey walls.
Patisserie Rui has been making our family’s cakes for years and I asked Rui to come onboard for our fair cos she’s reliable and her work is beautiful. And I don’t even like cakes but Rui’s cakes are the only ones I’ll eat hahaha. Her dessert table to complement Pathway’s setup blew me away though, I hadn’t actually seen her desserts and pastries before.
Rui designed two different dessert tables – for Pathway and Soiree Lab and little birds were the common denominator hehe.
This is Rui’s dessert spread for Soiree Lab who went with a blush pink, pale blue, slightly Victorian vibe to their decorating!
Omg these wedding cakes are love.
Soiree Lab’s centerpiece.
Soiree Lab’s pretty bridal table chairs.
Main table setting.
A little nook SL set up. For photo purposes I presume, and also so you can grab a cookie off the wall that comes with their contact info hahaha.
Stories & TOTM.
With a lot of couples looking through their stuff!
Some of our partner photographers’ works.
Hui Wen doing her thing.
The canapes by Define:Food! Maybe cos Define is our F&B partner but also cos their food is consistently good, they are like comfort food to me now. T3T Thanks Define for nourishing us throughout those two days.
I a sucker for salmon wtf.
Photobooth setup by Whichkraft Projekt who although they do everything now, used to be balloon specialists!
What would a party be without these two? (And macarons wtf.)
OH YA had a lucky draw too wtf. The grand prize was a free wedding venue on any date of the couple’s choice, plus a bridal makeup package by MM Production. Congratulations guys! Honestly they looked so stunned when I called their names that I didn’t know if they were happy to win WTF. I think they were la ha ha ha *nervous laugh wtf.
So there you have it — our first wedding fair at Colony! I really enjoyed the event actually – it was fun and turned out gorgeous and ran well, even though I blundered my way through it wtf. It’s really thanks to the sales and marketing teams la what would it be without them wtf.
If you’re interested in enquiring about a space for your wedding/party/meeting/workshop/whatever hit us up! Here’s our website or you can just email me or leave a comment here. <3
Okay la he’s been six for a month now so I’m obviously very late wtf. But I want to blog about his birthday party cos I ownself think it’s very creative! No thanks to me wtf.
So for months before, Fighter had been asking me for a birthday party. I layan only cos it was months away and I thought he might eventually forget about it. I damn lazy organize a party la ok hahahaha.
But no! Three weeks before his birthday he was still narrating to me details about his dream party wtf. He even decided on the theme, which was Roblox, an online gaming platform he’s obsessed with. The games are user created so there are like hundreds and you just choose which game to enter and play. (Apparently it’s something like Minecraft but I wouldn’t know, having never played either wtf.)
So in a mild panic, I called up the resources I had at hand wtf. Luckily I’ve been a mom for six years now so I have some contacts already. (Mom life hack: keep the number of every single baker, party planner, clown, magician, caterer you come across in your life wtf)
We already launched Colony Star Boulevard recently so woot free venue! No brainer really. Naturally I got the catering from Define.Food who gave us extraordinarily yummy food for a kids’ party lol.
And for entertainment, I hired our phonics and reading teacher, Minn. She’s @sieuminnn on Instagram if you wanna look her up and on the side, she organizes party activities for children. For Penny’s 4th birthday earlier this year, we had a Moana themed party. Her friends are mostly three to four year olds, so Minn planned different stations of hands on and sensory play – from catching fish, to making blue slime, to sensory play with blue jelly. Her friends’ older siblings also played for hours! It basically kept the kids occupied, the parents relaxed, and I think it was a much better investment than a clown or magician who performs for half an hour. :X
Anyway for Fighter’s Roblox party I told Minn that his favorite game was called Natural Disaster Survival where duh you run around the city and avoid natural disasters wtf. He likes those kind of things la! He’s very interested in natural disasters and cities so it was no wonder wtf.
So Minn came up with such ingenious ideas that combined all his interests! Her main idea was that an hour before guests arrive, the party would already start for Fighter and Penny. Because together, they would “build a city” before his friends came, which would encompass the city part. Then when his friends got here, they would all then act as “natural disasters” as called out by Minn – hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis, earthquakes – and destroy the city together hahahaha.
I loved the idea because not only would the kids be learning about erm natural disasters, they’d also be working together to rebuild the city afterwards, and they got to expend their energy in a fun and creative way knocking down the city!
Hired a balloon specialist to put up some balloons and signs!
Roblox cake from Patisserie Rui in Mont Kiara. F*ck fondant cakes la I always go for cream now cos fondant may look good but it’s so disgusting and there’s always so much wastage! Rui did such a good job with this Roblox butter cream cake.
So this was an hour before the party. Minn spent weeks collecting old cardboard boxes to be used to build the city. So we spent an hour assembling boxes so Fighter could plan and build his city.
Minn also prepared paper cups for them to build with! Fighter’s pyramid damn nice and meticulous ok!
Penny’s one. Not as meticulous lol.
Fighter called his city Jude City hahahaha.
Both of them even built an entrance to Jude City!
Each building was labeled with a name too: school, office, condominium, hospital, and so on. Fighter and Penny created the buildings based on what they imagined each building type would look like.
Besides that, we had a Roblox avatar making station. Before starting, kids could make their own avatars using satay sticks, marshmallows and candy.
And we also prepared a Goodie Bag Design station – for children to draw and name their own goodie bags….
Because prior to that, we’d hidden little goodies and snacks all around the city for the kids to find! Minn prepared a list of goodies that they’d have to find and they could keep all those in their bags.
Fighter welcoming his friends to his party with a speech. He really not shy ah I love it!
Explaining the rules of the games to his friends.
Penny and her friend Kiesha hehehe. They were classmates last year but got separated this year cos Penny changed schools. Reunited again next year though for kindergarten!
Searching for her goodies.
And telling her friend where to get the good stuff hahaha.
And then it was city destroying time!
Look at this boy damn happy hahahaha.
Why she going all Street Fighter hahahahaa.
Hahahah the kids had SO much fun pretending to be disasters.
After that they had to rebuild for the next round…
The amazing thing was how they put their heads together and collaborated…
To produce way more impressive structures than we adults could have.
Look at this!
And after they’d set up a new city, they knocked everything down again. Repeat 1000 and they had a blast every time!
While the grown ups indulged in Define.Food‘s buffet!
They did an all new menu for us and it was so good omg. Creamy chicken potato pie, Salmon kale salad, Honey mustard, Penne wagyu bolognese and Oriental baked white fish. I didn’t have the penne cos it’s beef but I heard really good feedback on everything! Even the kale salad was good dude. Kale wtf.
So you know, if you’re considering throwing a party at Star Boulevard (we take bookings!) you know the food is gonna be good hehehe.
Penny and their baby cousin. She loves babies and she carts him around like he’s her baby doll hahaha.
On the left is Uncle Nantha, our company driver and dispatch. Penny loves him and calls him her Baby FHL hahahahaha.
All these lovely children. <3
When you cannot reach, all you gotta do is ask for a hand hehe. I’m posting a lot of pictures of the kids building cos we grown ups were really fascinated with the kids’ tenacity in building (and destroying wtf) and creativity.
We also had empty alcohol boxes, pizza boxes and egg cartons as supplies hahaha.
Tired from building and destroying hahaha.
One last picture.
These four are very proud of their creation hahaha.
Mochi is still a mochi.
Then cake cutting time!
Happy sixth birthday my darling beautiful boy!
Every day that passes you get smarter and smarter and slightly more annoying cos you know how to debate and I cannot brush you off anymore wtf. Hahahaha kidding! You amaze us every day with what you know, while your personality continues to be compassionate and loving. It’s a pleasure being your mommy.
Here! Remember how much you love me now in five years time when you become a teenager and start throwing teenager tantrums LOL.
[Oh yea I’m not just saying this cos Colony is our company, but our event spaces are perfect for parties – birthdays, baby showers, bridal showers, etc. Star Boulevard is especially so cos Define Food is right there as an available caterer, and their food is consistently yummy. So if you’re looking for a private party space, leave a comment, DM me on Instagram or email or just head to colony.work to enquire!]
After every Colony is completed, I make it a point to blog about the whole renovation process and the idea and story behind it.
You can read about the other spaces here:
So this blog post is for you, Colony @ Star Boulevard. *points gun finger wtf
(in case you’re wondering where it is, Star Boulevard is on Jalan Yap Kwan Seng, directly opposite KLCC and the Petronas Twin Towers.)
So this one. I’ve never cried for a building project but there’s a first for everything. *brave smile wtf* This is our fifth center so by right, I should be used to handling building projects now but for some reason, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. I have some experience under my belt, but I learned that you can continue to make new mistakes lolol. I made so many mistakes.
I won’t write in detail cos too much to say lol. But we had so many problems. Delay for 3 months (when each Colony is completed from start to end in six months). We had different business goals and products in mind for this location and we struggled to find a way to maximize the usage of the space. We struggled whether wanna build a mezzanine or not cos we have double height ceilings here. (Sometimes I feel like the bigger the space and the more possibilities, the more problems you have. Better give me some limits and I work with those hahaha. ) I struggled with building management. I struggled with more mansplainers oh god there are so many.
But we also had so much talent on our side. For this Colony, we worked with Alex and Michael of 161 London, a London based design firm that specializes in ultra luxe property designs. The kind you see you feel like you’re stepping on money hahahaha. But seriously their designs are mega glam and gorgeous. Alex is a uni mate of Fatty’s who saw the work we’ve been doing on Colony and wanted to design one project for us. So we gave them our flagship location.
To support 161 (and what a huge support they turned out to be), we had Katrine of Hoe & Yin. 161 is based in the UK so obviously it wasn’t feasible to have them on site every day for six months. So Katrine (who’s done three other Colonies) stepped in. She took Alex and Mike’s key designs and ran with it, designing and adding on more areas and elements to produce a cohesive integrated space. She had a tough job I knew, because which designer would voluntarily take on another designer’s idea and execute it hahahaha. But she did and did it well.
And then I also had my beloved Hui Wen of Soiree Lab to help with the styling. I was blown away by her work on Colony @ Mutiara Damansara so I last minute pulled her in to Star Boulevard. And she didn’t disappoint! All her little details and handiwork pulled together the space until I wanna cry hahahaha.
When we surveyed Star Boulevard initially we were already so impressed with the blank space hahaha. Double height ceilings, floor to ceiling windows, tons of natural light. It didn’t come without its own drawbacks though – because our ceilings were so high, costs to do things like partitions and air conditioning etc increased accordingly. Basically everything doubled la cos the height is double.
I initially wanted to do a mezzanine some more ok. But DBKL rejected our application LOL story of my life. In retrospect, it worked out for the best cos I think a mezzanine would end up taking away from the gorgeous ceiling height. Plus save money wtf.
So I wanted a design theme that would make the most out of what the space already had. I settled on something I call At Home in Tribeca (I am really making things up as I go wtf). So Tribeca in Manhattan, NYC, used to be a commercial hub with shops and warehouses before a lot of its buildings were converted to residences and artists’ lofts in recent years. Beautiful old brick buildings still stand though so my inspiration for Colony Star came from this.
I modeled our design after how I imagine a home in Tribeca would look – structural elements of exposed brick, steel beams, and timber floors. But I also visualized that someone living in Manhattan would have some money at their disposal hahaha. I imagined a person who maybe comes from old money whose furniture and knick knacks would look somehow rich and lavish, of quality, yet older or more vintage looking. And nothing too flashy because when you’re used to having money, you don’t care about showing it off. Lol.
Without further ado wtf, revealing Colony @ Star Boulevard!
Welcome from the main doors! wtf. We constructed two solid timber doors, inlaid with glass and decorated with carved curliques at the bottom (not seen in picture). The doors open up to a corridor made of white wood …stilts? I don’t know what to call them hahaha with flowering plants flanking them.
And the corridor leads right up to our main reception/concierge! Hello Alan and Nurul!
Is it gorgeous or is it gorgeous. T3T In keeping with the design theme, the reception table is made of cement, marble and gold.
Here’s our lounge area which we call The Library! The stuff of my dreams can you believe how pretty it is T_____T
Another angle. Photo a bit dark but my lazy ass can’t be bothered to edit this is already the second time I’m writing this blog post ok WordPress didn’t save my first version boo. T_T
This photo wall came from Katrine! (who filled up all the gaps with finesse hehe). I super love it, one of my favorite areas.
And this might be the most amazing thing Hui Wen sourced for us – a real drum that we are using as a side table! Also, note the paisley and floral print patches that adorn our leather couches. I imagined the leather furniture as family heirlooms and rather than throwing them out, the owner just patched it up lovingly hahahaha. I love how quirky and vintage the sofas look.
The beautiful embroidered cushions are sourced by Hui Wen too. We finished off the look with leather trunks that serve as coffee tables and Persian style rugs.
Initial idea was to completely fill the bookshelves with books (library duh) but I think it’s nice to have little gaps to peek through to the restaurant area!
And this is our restaurant area! Define:Food is our restaurant partner and we have a full kitchen here which means not just snacks, but freshly cooked hot meals and great coffee, thanks to their fancy coffee machine hahaha.
I’m not lying when I say their food is good! The truffle fries is my weakness bye waist line wtf. They also catered for Fighter’s birthday party and we got so many positive comments.
They are a fully operational restaurant and they’re open to public and walk ins! Don’t need to be a guest at Colony to enjoy their food. Define’s opening hours are:
Monday to Thursday – 10am to 6pm
Friday & Sat – 10am to 10pm (open for dinner!)
To make a booking, you can call 011 3769 1163 (Rizdwan).
Our conference room! This is our biggest yet, and seats twenty. At night when Define:Food opens for dinner, this can be converted to a private dining area!
Our function rooms are always named after explorers, pioneers or trailblazers so this conference room is called Da Gama. And our other meeting room is Austen because there must always be a female trailblazer included in every Colony hehe.
Our kids room is called Lightyear hehehe geddit.
And this! *deep breath wtf* This is our event space slash ballroom. This was actually a later addition to our plans we I literally went on Pinterest and said let’s do this wtf. We went with interlocked timber floors, and hacked out the cement to expose the red bricks in the walls. All balanced out with huge gold chandeliers.
A cosy sitting area that can be used as a holding area or cocktail area hehe.
We also installed foldable partitions to divide the space so it can be used in creative ways!
For guests who have access cards we have a private entrance for them so they can enter straight to their workspaces without walking through the cafe and ballroom.
Our open working area! This is for people who don’t need an entire private office, so you can book by seat. The inspiration for this is an outdoor courtyard, complete with Mediterranean style tiles and creeping vines.
Assorted glass lamps. <3
And these are our signature Luxe Suites! As always, our Luxe Suites come with fully adjustable ergonomic chairs and tables. Tables come equipped with phone charging capabilities and height can be adjusted to even up to a standing table!
Every suite is smart controlled via Google Home, and comes with a sitting area, a flat screen TV, a minibar and fridge, and snacks. Personal butler service is also available.
Another interesting bite (I say own self one wtf) is every suite is named after a former colony! Above is the Georgia Suite. We customized the wallpaper in every suite too, to reflect its name. Georgia is famous for peach orchards so those are peach trees in view hehe.
The Hong Kong suite has koi fish and chrysanthemums!
My favorite is the India Suite cos of the gorgeous elephant, tiger and peacock prints.
Hummingbirds for the Jamaica Suite, cos that’s the national bird.
The Kamerun suite. Kamerun is actually the German spelling for Cameroon cos it was German colony. It’s known for bananas.
These are our phone booths. Meant for people who need some privacy to make calls. ^^ Styling is Hui Wen too.
And last but not least, our rooftop! Wanna get married with this view? *eyebrows wiggling wtf
Hahahaha seriously I think it would be perfect for brand launches and ROMs before heading downstairs for food and more celebrations hehe.
So we’ve always hosted brand and corporate events at our spaces but this is the first space that is suitable for hosting smaller weddings and solemnizations. We are done building new locations for the year, so for now I will be switching roles actually, and focusing on opening our market towards weddings. Which is super fun and appeals to the idealistic side of me haahaha.
So if you’re getting married, look us up for more info or to book a tour! Don’t let me wait until these two get married WTF. Hahahaha.
Until next time guys!
When Fighter was quarantined with the flu a few weeks back, I kept Penny at home too just in case she’d actually caught it too. At some point, Fighter was better already and Penny was perfectly fine so I had two preschoolers going slightly stir crazy at home. I started googling for indoor activities, thinking we could do some arts and crafts at home.
I came across this idea called “homeless care packages”.
They’re basically little packages filled with items that would be very useful to a person living on the streets. We live in the city, so very often we see homeless people sleeping around our neighborhood. The critters have also noticed them and asked us about them so I thought this would be a great project that we could do together.
Before we had kids, Fatty and I used to occasionally volunteer at a soup kitchen in KL. I blogged about it HERE. The soup kitchen would organize trips with volunteers, usually at night. Donors would supply foodstuff like packets of rice or noodles, some fruits, snacks and water and we would travel around the city and disperse them. We stopped when the kids were born – I guess too busy with midnight feeds and I forgot about it also. Recently I thought of rejoining these trips but then I also heard that they’re doing very well and packed with volunteers! So this is also the perfect way to do something else to help!
I told the kids about my idea and asked if they wanted to help. Fighter immediately said he wanted to but Penny frowned and said, “No. I want to do arts and crafts.”
Me: “We can do arts and crafts too! We won’t do homeless kits today anyway cos we still need to go out and get some supplies. You want to help me and Koko?”
Penny: “No! I wanna do arts and crafts!”
Me: “But listen Baby. Don’t you want to help people who are poor? They have a very tough time cos they don’t have a house or anyone to take care of them.’
Me: “Next time if Mommy and Daddy are not around and lots of bad things happen and you have no one to take care of you and no house to live in, wouldn’t you like someone to help you like we can help these people now?”
Fighter: *nods earnestly*
Penny: “Nope. I don’t want.”
At this point I had a feeling she was just saying no cos she knew I wanted her to say yes. -_-
Me: “Fine. You can play your own things and Koko and I will make the homeless kits.”
Penny: “Okay. But Mommy can you help me open this box (of Playdoh)?”
Me: “No. Do it yourself. Since you don’t want to help other people, don’t expect people to help you.” My words were pretty mean, but I was super shocked and angry with her. I don’t know when kids get better at thinking about others – is four too young? But I remember Fighter at four was already very aware of people’s feelings. I was angry with her not for lacking compassion, but for being so stubborn and for refusing to even help me when I asked.
Penny burst into tears.
I made as if to leave the room to join Koko in his room.
Penny cried and ran after me.
There followed half an hour of sobbing as she tried to get her emotions under control. When she finally calmed down enough, I hugged her and asked, “Who takes care of you, Baby?”
Penny: *sniffling* “Mommy and Dada.”
Me: “Yes. Why do we take care of you?”
Penny: “Because you want me to be safe.” Wah where did this come from why so self aware one lolol.
Me: “Yes but we also do it because we love you and want you to be okay. Some people in the world have nobody to take care of them. They have no money and no home and it’s very hard for them to be outside and feeling unsafe and hungry all the time. It’s so tiring for them but it’s so easy for us to do something small to help them.”
Penny: “But I’m also tired.”
Me: “Not as bad as them. If you’re tired you can always go to your bed and rest. They don’t even have beds. Where are they going to sleep if they’re tired?”
Penny keeps quiet.
Me: “We might be tired doing some work, but we are still better than them. Next time if Mommy and Dada are not around, I hope there are people who will also help you if you need help. That’s what we are doing now, just helping people who are more poor thing than us. Do you want to help Mommy help poor people?”
Penny nodded earnestly.
Honestly I still don’t know if she really understood what I was trying to say or she was just trying to please me wtf. But I think at least some of it got into her head cos the next time she saw my parents, she asked my mom, “Grandma, are you poor?”
Mummy Ooi jokingly said, “Yes, we’re poor. Why ah?”
Penny: “Oh ok do you need any help? Mommy said we must help poor people.”
HAHAHAHAHAHA WTF. Baby steps ok baby steps wtf.
Anyway, homeless care kit!
I googled for what we could include in our care kits and compiled what I thought would work best for our climate and environment. Then I went out and bought the supplies. All in all, they cost me around RM 100 for twelve kits.
The kids making kits! Advertising for Guardian here wtf #notreally #notanad lolol
They did everything themselves with minimal supervision! Unwrapping the packages, putting things into bags and counting and making sure they check off everything and put one of each into each bag…
This is one of our care kits. I used ziploc bags (not the most environmentally friendly option) but waterproof and reusable and pretty useful in general. We put in toothbrush, toothpaste, sanitary pad (very useful for women), wet wipes, a little packet of body wash. The small white tube is lip balm which we made ourselves at home! Cos I found drugstore lip balms very not worth it – around RM 15 each? I went out and bought my own lip balm cases, beeswax, coconut oil, and shea butter. I think total cost less than RM 15 per piece lo for sure and I made enough extra for the kids to use too.
I also added a packet of biscuits. Other options of food could be granola bars since they’re supposed to be high energy or high protein or something right hahaha but seems quite ang moh and elite I don’t know if the average person here can appreciate it hahaha.
Here’s a list I made of things you could potentially put in too if you’re thinking of doing this! Most of the items are sanitary products or toiletries cos I imagine if people had spare cash, they’d probably spend it on food. Hygiene products are probably not high on their shopping list but goes a long way to making someone feel more “human” I think. I mean I know *I* feel better after a good shower or brushing my teeth lol. Plus I think if someone living on the street is trying to look for a job in the meantime, it would be so good for them to get presentable.
Our next batch I think I will also add in tissue paper, a plastic fork or spoon, and a bottle of water if it fits.
The critters ended up really excited and happy to make these kits! Big change from that day my big fight with Penny wtf. We made about twelve of these and I planned to keep them in my car so if we’re driving around and happen to see anyone who needs it, we can just hand them one.
So remember I said we see a lot of homeless people around our house? The other day we were on the way back from our condo pool when we saw a man sleeping at the bus stop outside our condo.
So when we got home, we grabbed one of our kits, plus a spare package of biscuits, and the kids put both next to the sleeping man. He didn’t stir or budge. At night Fatty and I took a walk outside and we saw the man still sleeping there. O_O The care kit had fallen to the ground but he was still sleeping.
But later on, when we walked back, he’d disappeared along with the biscuits and the care kit. I hope he took them with him and found them useful. 🙂
Showed the kids this pic and they worriedly asked, “What if he finishes using the toothpaste?” lololol then we give him again la wtf.
In my last post, I wrote about the importance of empathy. I think this project is a good start to getting kids involved and not just talking to them about it. ^^
Is it this blog becomes active when I get worked up over something wtf.
This will be an AudVerbalDiarrhea post ok guys bear with me.
This is literally a sequel to this post: To the mom judging another mom, please stop.
TL;DR: When Penny contracted Hand Foot & Mouth Disease last year, I unthinkingly brought her out to a toy store to cheer her up. I didn’t think it would do any harm cos she was in her stroller. I received a lot of flak for it and considered it from all aspects. I openly admitted my mistake and made a public apology on my Instagram. That didn’t stop the judgment though. Parents and non-parents went on and on berating me. I won’t go into the details; you can read about it at the above link.
Here’s the story of what happened the last few days.
So we’ve been having a slightly tough time at home. Three weeks ago, Fighter caught Influenza B and was quarantined at home for a week. I kept Penny back a few days too to make sure she didn’t develop any symptoms before I sent her back to school. The next week, Penny herself fell ill, with suspected chicken pox. I say suspected cos she’s had her chicken pox vaccination (as has Fighter), so her symptoms were extremely mild, until the doctor couldn’t confirm it was chicken pox wtf. She developed a few spots on her face, and that was it. No fever, no itching, no blisters. She remained her normal self, active, ate a lot, but I kept her home from school anyway.
The doctor told me to look out if the blisters come, a sure sign of chicken pox, but she didn’t even get any blisters. He told me that once the spots dry up and heal, she’s no longer contagious. She didn’t even have blisters so nothing to dry up also wtf. The spots merely faded away and I waited until only small brown scars remained.
At first I thought she would miss her first ballet recital and informed the teacher. But her spots fully healed in time so we made it!
I posted a photo of the four of us at her concert with the caption “Chicken pox, influenza and hives ain’t gonna stop us” as a joke. (Hives cos I think I was too stressed out by work and them being sick (and a possible allergy from Colony reno sites) that I broke out a few days prior.)
Apparently my photo went viral on whatsapp and parenting FB groups in Singapore. Malaysia maybe got also but I didn’t hear anything. I suddenly had a lot of followers DMing me to tell me I might want to clarify myself.
Here’s the photo that started it all wtf. Or one of those la.
Weiqi Vivien started a fire out of ashes lol. I applaud her back.
Subsequent comments. Thank you Marilyn Teo. Wow Hazel Lian-Tan, are you ok?
Calista Faye called me a fucking idiot. *poker face* Winnie Ou reminded the group that I once brought Penny out when she was sick. I guess once a criminal, always a criminal huh.
From favorite blogger become a zero wtf. This person also whacked me before catching herself. But kudos she apologized for it.
I guess my caption was a bit misleading, if you weren’t following my earlier stories and didn’t see that the kids had already recovered and Fighter had been back at school for a week even.
So I wrote back.
But I was also pretty angry that I had to clarify this to people who aren’t even following me and don’t know me at all. I had a lot of people messaging me to ask if my kids were still sick and I wrote replies to explain, one by one. They didn’t jump to conclusions, they checked with me. But these people who didn’t bother to check with me or find out the story? They just went ahead and posted my photo for all to see, with judgmental statements and insults.
Hazel Lian-Tan, this is for you. Never thought there would be a day where I’d have to say: hives are not contagious.
And then I got this indecipherable lump of cactus wtf. I don’t know who or what she’s talking about! Is she talking about those people who judged me? Or me for scolding people? I couldn’t brain honestly and blocked her with relief wtf.
A lot of people asked if I would share if those three ladies apologized to me and I said I would. Because it takes a huge effort to understand when you’re wrong, and apologize, and I wanted to give them that credit.
Vivien actually had the most sincere apology. I wasn’t that exemplary also la to be fair, cos I also wrote that I heard she simply accuse people before me. I do take it back.
I’m not sure why Winnie thinks she wasn’t judging when she clearly brought up my past mistake in regards to this post which is a super judgmental move imho. It’s like something goes missing, and there’s a repented robber in the room and you say, “YEA HE DID IT AGAIN FOR SURE! HE STOLE SOMETHING BEFORE!” But ok hahaha.
She totally did not have a clue what was going on at all.
She basically said sorry if I felt offended (which etiquette experts don’t count as a proper apology). I was ok la, sorry is a sorry wtf. But then she went on to defend her stance which nobody is disputing, nor does it justify why she felt she could be so rude and judgmental in her comment. Then after that, she still not aware that my kids are not even sick and say she hopes I just “used the wrong choice of words”. Why did she apologize then if she doesn’t know “there is more to what I posted”?!
I very shocked by her at this point, but I didn’t want to continue arguing on her level so I let it go.
Then today I received this DM, which is the catalyst for this blog post. Wow. Just wow.
I guess in the eyes of all these women, really once a sinner always a sinner. It didn’t matter how careful I was this time, checking with the doctor when it was safe for them to return to public, or that I even kept Penny who didn’t have the flu, from school until I was sure she would not develop it in the next few days and infect her classmates. The most important takeaway it seems, is that I took my sick child out before.
Is motherhood now a competition and I’m the last person to find out? Is the goal now to be the most perfect mother, who never makes a mistake, whose main goal is to keep her children safe from disease, screw you all other disease laden fuckers?
Look. I have been on both sides of the fence. I have unthinkingly taken a sick child out to cheer her up, thinking that it wouldn’t matter, it was a minimal risk. I have also pulled my children out of class when I heard one of their classmates broke quarantine and returned to school contagious.
I know what it feels like to nurse a sick child. It is painful and draining for everybody. I think every parent knows this. And ideally, if everyone could, we would just keep our sick kids at home to recover. I wish people wouldn’t take sick kids out of course, and if I knew that because of me, Penny had inadvertently infected another person I would regret it so much.
But i also know it still happens. For a variety of reasons. When I mentioned “resources” in my earlier reply, I wasn’t talking about myself. I meant that not everybody has the same privileged position as us to make that call.
It’s all very easy to say when you are in a position to stay home and take care of your child when they’re sick. Very easy when you don’t need to worry that it will affect your paycheck. When you don’t need to worry that it may affect your job security. When you have a significant other who is capable and willing to step up. When you have available helpers or family members. What if you didn’t?
I’m not saying sure, bring out your sick kids and let’s have a party. I’m not saying you cannot be angry if you know a mom purposefully brings a sick kid out and infects yours. That’s what all these detractors can’t seem to get into their skulls. I’m merely saying, have a little empathy. Because it doesn’t mean every time that happens, someone is just being inconsiderate, or selfish, or irresponsible. Of course, there are people like that. But would it take very much effort if you would just take a step back and try to understand what happened and why? Ask some questions (kindly) and get a sense of the situation before you judge someone’s actions and start bitching?
When the Penny HFMD thing happened, other than those nasties who attacked me, I did also have people write to me with compassion to tell me I was wrong. Because they were kind, I did not react defensively and was able to listen and accept their views. If you’re telling me that your angry exposes are meant to educate, isn’t this a kinder and more effective way of educating others?
We, as parents, may not be able to make the ultimate best decision, but we make the best decisions we can in our own individual circumstances.
Calista stands by her stance. I stand by mine too. That empathy goes both ways. It’s terrible having a sick child and understandably it feels better to blame someone. But the other mom probably is having a terrible time too. It’s fine to educate and get angry and take steps to prevent bad things from happening, but you don’t have to be mean or self righteous about it. Have you never made a mistake in your life?
It’s this lack of empathy exhibited by these individuals that really bothers me. Empathy is the quality that makes a person not self centered. I want my kids to be healthy and safe. But equally, the quality I want them to grow into most is the ability to empathize with others and be kind. If we don’t practice that ourselves, you really think our kids will?
Okay we are finally ready to reveal this!
Now that we have officially finished building Colony 5, this is my customary blog post about it.
Internally we call it Colony 5 cos it’s the fifth location we signed, but it’s actually the fourth one we’re launching (cos the original 4th one delayed wtf).
Externally, it’s called Colony @ Mutiara Damansara. It’s our first location out of Kuala Lumpur and it’s located in the Curve area, just down the road from the McDonald’s drive thru! (which explains why my Mcds intake went up recently wtf). It’s situated in a beautiful new office building called KYM Tower.
We have about 19,000+ square feet of space, over two floors, and we’re on level 8 and 9!
If you guys have been following me, each coworking space of ours comes with a different design. No two spaces are alike, and I usually conceptualize the design based on what I’m feeling at the moment lolol. I also take into consideration the kind of guests we’d have there la, and their requirements, to create a suitable environment. Not that bimbo ok hahahaah.
So as I’d mentioned earlier, Colony @ Mutiara Damansara is our first location not located in the city, out of any serious central business districts. I thought we might have younger companies and more startups compared to our other locations…. so for its design theme, I wanted to do something a bit more quirky and less stuffy. Something more fun and playful, without compromising our design and material standards.
I decided on Wes Anderson. 😀 I don’t remember what made me think of it already, I think I probably saw a picture of a pastel pink room, kept surfing for the concept and eventually settled on a Wes Anderson theme. Did you know he has a cafe/restaurant in Italy! That was an initial source of inspiration for me.
I haven’t watched all his movies la but those I watched, I loved! The aesthetics – the overall quirk, the juxtaposition of colors and textures, the dreaminess, the retro vibe. *hearts in eyes*
Plus Wes Anderson is such an iconic name in movies, known for his distinctive creative style, essentially a trailblazer or pioneer in his field. It made sense to pay tribute to his work with this center!
Manatau *jeng jeng jeng* Only after we embarked on this Wes Anderson journey did I realize that this is actually the hardest, least straightforward theme we’ve ever done LOL.
Firstly, his movies are obviously set in different time periods and places. So while the movies have a very clear WA aesthetic, they are also not the same. Which I stupidly didn’t realize at first! The major problem we had with this aesthetic is that there are so many takes and variations on it. We essentially had too much inspiration and couldn’t figure out which direction to take it!
I think we changed the design 7-8 times fck our designer Jason’s life hahahaha. And each version was very different from the others. Nothing seemed right for us – too retro, too simple, too heavy, no wow factor… I was actually very stressed leh. That this would be the first Colony I fail at executing lolol. And people would call me uhh three hit wonder wtf.
Even colors wise, there were too many choices and we threw out so many different color palettes before finally settling on what we have.
But I think towards the end, we finally managed to pull it together! Jason and I also had the help of Soiree Lab *ahem*. One of my oldest, dearest friends Hui Wen is some kind of savant at styling and I roped her in to do the soft styling for the space – artwork, rugs, lamps, flowers, you get it wtf. She not only sourced the most unexpected pieces that just worked, she swerved a few of our design decisions, and just like that, everything clicked together.
We decided on different interpretations for different areas so the space looks different depending on where you are.
Here’s a virtual tour! Shall we? *offers arm*
Welcome to Colony! Hehehe. Went for main double doors that are grand looking with facades flanking it, but countered it with an unexpected mustard color.
Our door handles are parrots! If you guys ever come to this Colony, you have to check out the details! There’s that saying “the devil is in the details” but really, this Colony’s beauty really lies in all our tiny details.
Jason also added the stylized border stickers on the glass which I love so much. T3T Gives it a little Art Deco touch!
Once you step in our doors, you’re greeted with our reception and concierge area. Which very clearly drew its inspiration from The Grand Budapest Hotel hahaha. This area la! Sketched over seven times wtf until we pinned down the look we wanted.
And yes I am aware our runner looks like Louis Vuitton hahahaha.
Another angle of our reception. Our chandelier is gorgeous and picked out by Hui Wen, but even that came in at the last second! We’d originally had a row of light bulbs under the Concierge sign, and Hui Wen suggested swapping them out for this chandelier instead.
And our flooring also changed dunno how many times! I wanted terrazo cos I felt it would really capture the retro feel, but terrazo is very expensive actually! Out of my budget hahaha. And some more expensive but doesn’t look expensive cos in Malaysia it will forever be associated with terrace houses built in the 1980s wtf. I Pinterested like mad and settled on this broken marble floor that I think captured the essence even better – affordable and retro but still marble so still expensive looking.
The contractors really cursed me though cos this floor involves throwing down marble pieces to break them, then carefully piecing them together in a pleasing pattern sorry uncles.
Next to the concierge are the phone booths and printing room. Doors of mustard to match with the front door.
A peek inside one of our phone booths. All our wall prints are Wes Anderson connected – either literal movie posters, or more subtle references – pictures of characters or things featured in his movies.
Phone booth door handles.
Lounge area. Jason and I picked out the couches and vintage trunk coffee tables, and Hui Wen brought the Chinese style stools and cushions. And styled the tables!
Those coffee table books are also Wes Anderson!
View of the lounge from the main entrance.
Shit is this magical or what wtf.
Our meeting rooms are always named after a great person, and the conference room in Colony @ MD is called Gandhi.
I asked for a lot of geometrical patterns especially round shapes, and Jason upped and gave me beautiful curved ceilings T____T I did not even know they could be a thing. T____T
Love all the wallpaper we chose. Colors for Gandhi are blush pink and dark cyan so uh there are a lot of both colors here wtf. *runs out of ways to describe it*
Here is our hot desking area. Lockers are off to the left of this photo so guests don’t have to worry about the security of their belongings. ^^
More bright colors, curved shapes and loud, floral motifs. ^^
Our pantry! We don’t have an in house cafe in this center because there will be a cafe right across the corridor from us! So we created a bigger pantry for guests to sit and chill and even have discussions. I love it that Jason even painted the emergency and utility room doors mint green lolol.
Our other meeting room! Also done in blush pink but with more subtle shades of green. Did you see our super amazing fringed hanging lights! *hyperventilates* Who cares about how we’re going to dust it!
We christened this meeting room Kahlo, after Frida Kahlo.
Our optical illusion corridor wtf. This corridor was also conceptualized pretty far into the design process and we played around with the color too. I wanted a more blue toned pink, going towards lavender a bit, but Jason kept saying coral is Pantone color of the year hahahaha. I don’t care about Color of the Year la cos every year it changes what! But our reception area looked best with this coral pink, and I agreed it wasn’t a good idea to introduce more than one shade of pink (already our color palette so rich) so we stuck to this.
I picked out these tiles before going on our Shanghai trip and to my horror when we were there, we visited this casual dumpling restaurant, super not fancy kind, and their tiles are these tiles WTF. They never maintain la and their tiles were blackened and I was completely horrified. I called Jason when I got back to cancel the order but he sent me a photo of his workers laying the tiles here already HAHAHA. So there we are. Whatever la, I am using these tiles in a much nicer way anyway hahaha.
Down this corridor is our nursing room. For nursing moms to either breastfeed their children if they need to, or pump and store their milk in a fridge we have for this use.
And our kids’ play area! This one credit goes to Jason and Hui Wen cos I had no hand in this hahaha. I just told them I wanted a white based room with pastel colors playing off it.
And our pink corridor leads up to…. our event space. ^^
We designed this space for workshops, conferences or annual meetings. It’s sound proof, can be shut off for max privacy and furnished with modular furniture that can be arranged seminar style, group discussion style or even for product launches or parties.
So ya know, if you looking for an event space, lemme know wtf.
And my video on our space! Plus what I did that day wtf. But the video doesn’t do it justice la cos I don’t know what I did with the colors and brightness but it looked completely different on my laptop when I was working on it wtf. 🙁
Just look at my photos ok wtf.
But in all honesty, this is so far, the Colony closest to my heart. We worked with a new designer whom I believed in, but was also quite green; I mean he already admitted to me this is his biggest project by far wtf. He’s good, but this concept is pretty unusual and stumped us at many, many points. I took more control than ever before, did more research than ever before and slowly, we pieced together this place (with Hui Wen who contributed so much with her amazing sense of style) that it now takes my breath away.
I learned and grew so much with this project and for that, Colony MD will always have a special place in my heart.
One of those days again.
When your son pulls a fever out of nowhere. When he develops a sudden pain in his knee and foot, so painful he screams in agony for two hours. When you rush him to the emergency room only to find it’s influenza.
When you might as well cancel the rest of your week then but you can’t cos you have two unmovable deadlines looming. When you’re in the middle of a meeting when your phone suddenly got missed call and it’s your helper telling you your son’s fever is at 40C even though you gave him a suppository before you left for work that morning. When the meeting is actually your client telling you why they’re disappointed in your work, and you want to look attentive but you can’t really focus anymore.
When you rush your son to the hospital (with a packed bag, expecting him to be admitted) and he vomits the whole way there. When you and your husband eat Grab burgers at the hospital while waiting for the doctor. When the doctor tells you no need to admit and relieved, you head home. Sorry, when the rest of the family heads home, while you go back to work because deadlines.
When you fight with your husband because he needs to leave for the airport and your son is having a meltdown about it but you’re not home yet. You went for an exercise class you already registered for, then went to tapau lunch and to school to pick up your son’s homework. When you spend the rest of the day separating your children or yelling at them to keep their face masks on I ALREADY SAID DO YOU WANT TO CATCH/PASS ON THE FLU?, or googling indoor activities to keep them busy so you can actually work on your laptop.
When maybe your daughter finally has had enough with the reduced amount of attention she’s receiving and wakes up crying in a very heartbroken fashion. When she clings on to your hand and refuses to even let you go grab dinner. When she cries and cries and it’s 9 pm and you’re so exhausted and emotionally spent you’re crying yourself.
There are the bright sides of course. The client, while unhappy, has also been the nicest to work with, for which I am grateful. Work, while intense is also satisfying. Fighter had crazy high fever yesterday but no temperature today today which is unexpectedly quick for influenza. Tim and I have since made peace.
But all in all, it’s just been a rollercoaster of a couple of days. It’s one of those times when I feel like I’m all hollowed out because I’ve given all my sayang and comforting away and I have nothing left for myself.
Here’s where I write that things can only get better, and I know they will. Of course this too shall pass, but I don’t feel like ending it on such a note when I don’t feel cheerful at all. I feel tired and teary and I will end it as such.
So today I’m going to write about two incidents that happened within the past two weeks.
Peer pressure has hit the critters, guys. And it has hit hard.
One of the things we did when we were in Malacca the weekend before was do the usual touristy Jonker Walk jaunt. We happened to pass by a stall selling cheap plastic watches for children. Fighter loves all gadgets and things with buttons and immediately set his sights on a bright blue rickety looking wrist watch.
I didn’t want to buy it for him because the thing looked like it would just die the next day and we’d be left with more trash on our hands. Besides he and Penny already had a bunch of these broken kids watches lying around at home.
Mummy Ooi promised she would go back to KL and find a less flimsy watch for him and he reluctantly agreed. I still wasn’t too keen cos I’ve seriously never seen any kid’s watch last beyond two weeks but who am I to deny a grandma’s love?
So the next day we came home from Malacca and it was a Sunday. It was evening and I was washing Penny up for bed, and Fatty came up to me and told me that Fighter was refusing to go to school unless he had a new watch.
I think my blood pressure doubled then. My heart pounded cos I was so mad hearing that! I went to talk to Fighter and found out that he’d started off by telling Daddy, “Daddy you know, in school I’m very bored. If I had my watch I could look at it and not be bored.” Which then escalated to “I don’t want to go unless I have a watch.”
My worst fear had come true. I had an entitled child.
Entitlement is one of the negative traits associated with millenials (and I’m considered a millenial myself wtf). I do encounter it occasionally, and it drives me crazy. I realize that our lifestyle is pretty privileged so I thought I’ve been pretty aware that I don’t raise children who feel they’re entitled to special privileges or opportunities for no reason. Not aware enough apparently.
I was so angry I wanted to scold him there and then. But I wanted to handle it right so he would understand. So I took hold of his hands and asked him, why do you want a watch so much? (because I like it) Do any of your friends wear watches to school? (yes, A does) You want one cos A has one? (yes…)
I continued to ask, does Chase have a watch? Does YS (his other best friend)? Does SY (his ‘girlfriend’)? None of them have watches.
I tried on a gentle but hopefully firm tone. “Fighter, you know what my job is as your mommy? It’s to feed and clothe you and send you to school. And to love you and take care of you. That’s all. My job is not to buy you presents whenever you feel like it. Grandma promised you a watch but now I think I’m going to ask her not to get it for you. Because you cannot think that every time you want something, we have to get it for you.”
He’s sobbing at this point.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”
He nods but honestly I’m not sure he entirely does.
So I told him, “If I buy a present for you every time you want it you’re not going to appreciate it. So I’m telling Grandma not to buy you a watch. If you still want it, you have two options. One, you get all correct for your next three spelling tests (they have a weekly spelling test either in Malay, English or Chinese) and I’ll buy you a watch. Two, you can save up your allowance and buy the watch yourself. Which one do you want to do?”
Sniffling, he said he wanted to do the spelling option.
So that’s where we’re at now. Fighter has gotten the two tests after that all correct. Peer pressure – wanting something that his friend has, and wanting to show if off I suspect – started it but entitlement escalated it. What I did is probably not enough – it will take years of teaching – but I hope it’s at least a step in the right direction. T3T
The next incident occurred with Penny.
We were having dinner at a Korean restaurant one day, and a Blackpink song came on. The critters love Blackpink, and Penny says her favorite is Rose.
Penny grabbed my arm and breathlessly said, “Mommy, my favorite is Rose!”
“I know, you told me,” I said, smiling. “But why is Rose your favorite?”
“Because she’s so skinny.”
My eyes wanted to pop out lo wtf. “Baby! Skinny doesn’t mean nice or pretty! You’re not skinny.”
“No I fat.”
OMG. “No Penny you’re perfect! I don’t want you to be skinny ok? I want you to be like this. This Penny now. Don’t think of losing weight or wanting to be skinny ok? You don’t have to be skinny to be pretty. Everyone looks different but doesn’t mean skinny only is pretty.”
She nodded and went on with her usual four year old antics but I was pretty disturbed. She’s only four and she’s somehow absorbed that society views thin as beautiful and that being skinny could be something to aspire to. The world has caught up with my children and is pushing onto them values that I don’t agree with. This is something I will have to watch for and guide them accordingly.
And they say the baby age is hard. This – mental and emotional growth and wellbeing – is so much harder!
Welcome to the blog where you have to scroll through other people’s vacation pictures. Hahaha.
We went on a family trip to Shanghai during the March school holidays and it’s only taken me two months to write this blog post. *prolific
As usual I must give my reasons and the reason is honestly I wanted to start with a vlog on Disneyland first. But I recently downloaded a new video editing software and the learning curve is terrible after using Imovie hahaha.
So presenting to you….the most noob Youtube video of my entire vlogging history wtf.
As you can see, I didn’t even bother to make a thumbnail wtf.
I could barely just trim the footage and join them together and add subtitles. I even accidentally deleted my intro clip FML. There’s a lot more that can be done obviously but I haven’t figured it out yet hahahaah. So yea bear with me.
My review of Shanghai Disneyland
I’d heard a lot about Shanghai Disneyland prior to visiting – that it was the most high tech and largest Disneyland to date and I was really excited to go! But I was also concerned that it would be super crowded (like how Tokyo Disney and HK Disney are), especially with it being located in super populous China. I dreaded having to fight line cutters cos um some people from China have given the country a bad name wtf.
But I was pleasantly surprised! We bought our tickets from Klook so we didn’t have to buy them at the park itself and jam with the crowds. All I had to do was show up at the entrance with our passports and we got in so smoothly. Even then, there were no rude people to fight wtf. My adrenaline rush for nothing hahahaha.
Disneyland was as expected, up to standard as usual – clean, orderly with friendly, helpful cast members. Some of them weren’t very fluent in English and I could see they were nervous dealing with a banana (me wtf) but they tried their best and we didn’t have any issues.
Shanghai Disneyland is supposed to be very high tech but I was too busy with the kids and rain to really notice much to be honest. One thing though is the Disney Resort app that you can download to view the park map on your phone and you can book fast pass with it too. I would recommend you download it before your trip though as you need to register using your phone number to get a passcode sent via SMS to you. I didn’t receive my passcode until 2 days later wtf.
We were there for two days and I really enjoyed the food! I don’t remember Disneyland food being this nice hahaha. This was spicy minced pork rice and I had it for lunch two days in a row wtf. For dinner one of those nights we went to Cheesecake Factory also part of Disneyland cos Fatty is a sucker for cheesecake. The critters also gave 5 star review to their Cheesecake Factory mac and cheese. ^^
Crowd wise, it was the best Disneyland I’ve been to. It could be that we went on a weekday or that rain was forecast, but the crowd was really very manageable. A friend told me that Shanghai crowd The longest we had to wait was for the Princess meet & greet. The sign said an hour from the starting point but the cast was so efficient that we made it to see Cinderella in just half an hour.
People in Shanghai were unbelievably polite! Not only was there no pushing or furtive line cutting, people went out of their way to be polite to us. T3T People regularly let us go first with a smile or a nod, especially when they saw us with the kids. I was so touched since I really did not expect it. Way to go Shanghai. T3T
There was only one case though. We were waiting for a ride with my in laws – I forgot which one – and I noticed some slight commotion behind me. A nine or ten year old girl and her grandmother had just elbowed their way so they were suddenly in front of the two teenage girls who were originally behind me. I wasn’t sure so I looked at one of the teenage girls, who didn’t do anything but looked uncomfortable.
After a bit, I noticed the girl and her grandma arguing. My Chinese is pretty basic but all the while I’d assumed it was the grandma being kiasu and dragging the girl in front. But when I listened in on them, I realized the girl was the one whining about being too slow and how they would need to wait so long to get to the front of the line and the grandmother scolding her and arguing back.
Then a couple minutes later, the girl is squeezing under my arm that was resting on the fence wtf. I’m like HEY but then the grandma is always barrelling past, telling me that ‘her granddaughter’s friends are in front and she just wants to go to them’. I go to stop them again but my mother in law pulls me back, telling me to let it go, she’s more stressed listening to those two bicker behind us and wondering when they’re going to cut our line wtf.
Fatty, my father in law and Fighter are a couple people ahead of us and the girl and grandma pushes past them. The grandma gives him the same excuse, but Fatty is actually right at the head of the line and he knows there’s no friends waiting in front! He shouts at them asking for proof and complains loudly to the Disney staff LOLOL. Luckily the grandma has enough shame to stop and let us all go first.
So that was that. A very weird encounter but besides that we had a really wonderful time! I’ve had a lot of people ask me about my experience bringing young children to Shanghai and Disneyland, and I say: go for it!
If you have any other questions about Shanghai or Disneyland, drop them in the comments!
Us on the carousel! We went on this carousel multiple times because of penny.
But see how happy she is!
Met Jessie and Woody! Penny instantly claimed she’s Jessie lolol.
And my handsome, infuriating, loving little boy.
They were enjoying the food too!
Penny overdosed on fries though. -_-
Willingly got suckered into buying this for Penny cos omg it’s Stella Lou! This was when Penny said, “Mommy look. I drink her blood.” WTF.
Happy watching! Must watch ah I seriously took a month to fucking edit this damn vlog wtf.