Dear 16 year old Aud,

I haven’t thought about you for years.  I’ve always been a live-in-the-moment kind of person and really, what’s changed between the both of us? But I read Jolene and Fatty‘s blog posts and I thought you deserved a heads up on to what’s coming at you in the next 10 years, because the only thing that stays constant throughout is the Oois (best family in the world)

We’re both not shy to admit it – you’re a happy geek wtf.  You have a big group of girl friends who you do everything with – you go to recess together, watch movies together, have study groups with.  You know you’re ugly but that’s ok wtf.  Everyone has a boyfriend but you, and even though you really want one, (Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield make it look so cool) that’s ok too.  You don’t know what’s going to happen to you but you’re ok.

Well what’s going to happen to you next year is you’ll get your first boyfriend even though you’re still ugly.  He’s one of the popular kids in school but you think he looks kind of goofy.  You are awesome friends though and you make each other laugh so much you get wheezing fits.  And that’s how it starts.

He likes your personality and wit but he hates how you make him look – uncool.  He gets you to put on skirts and tank tops instead of your usual tshirt and jeans.  He hates it when you get better grades than him for studying less.  You feel weird but you can’t lose your boyfriend! What if nobody else likes you in the future!  Later you’ll slap yourself for it but you give up an exchange program to Japan just so you can go to prom with him.

Ironically, it’s not him who changes you to like putting on pretty clothes and makeup – it’s the Japanese girls you meet when your family takes part in hosting Japanese high school students.  You don’t look as nerdy anymore but you guys still break up on the first day of college because he’s afraid to ruin his reputation with you around WTF.

It’s ok though because in college you finally capitalize on being cute and 日本ポイ and you will have no problem making friends or meeting guys.  You go into a pre-university course that’s headed to some kind of biotech degree in Australia but at the last minute, Fat Her makes you apply to American colleges.

You get accepted… to a women’s college.  Never thought you’d ever go to a girl’s school did you? But they’re giving you financial aid (without which you would never be able to study in the States) so you strike off to the other side of the world, while all your friends head to Australia or England.  Your parents throw a surprise farewell party for you and three carloads of friends will rush with you to the airport to send you off.

You happily set off, but it doesn’t hit you until the first night your parents leave you in your dorm room alone.  You burst into tears the minute you close the door.

But that’s ok because the next day, you will meet a very important person.  You will be on your way to the stables with Mai, a Japanese girl whose parents live in Malaysia, when both of you will see a girl called Angela standing in front of the campus center with a suitcase and a pink Diesel bag you immediately wish you had.

You will hate her on first sight because you think her anime sounding voice is fake but she will stick to you like glue because she saw your bubble socks and has recognized that you’re kindred spirits.  Just go along with it because for at least the next ten years, she will turn out to be your best friend and soulmate – the person who thinks exactly like you and will always understand whatever you tell her or whatever numbskill situations you put her through.

Mount Holyoke is a cold bitch and by sophomore year, you and Angela will be desperate to get out of there.  You both apply to spend junior year in Kyoto, Japan and secretly you think that if Angela gets in and you don’t you’ll take a year’s leave of absence WTF.  You both get in though and you spend what you both still call the funnest year of your lives there.

Then you come back to Massachusetts for your senior year.  Don’t worry it won’t be the shittily boring year it was when you were a sophomore! Mild and Jeannie have both gotten cars in your absence and you spend a lot of the year exploring New England!  And Miami!  And Vancouver with Angela! You also spend a lot of weekends in Boston clubbing wtf.  Oh and watch out for this thing called Facebook.  It’s like Friendster and when it first comes out, only elite colleges in the US will have it (including Mount Holyoke ahem) and you won’t like it at first cos nobody else is on it.  But the world will catch up.

Anyway you put your political views as ‘apathetic’ on Facebook during your freshman year, which is no surprise cos the only politician you know right now is Mahathir.  And maybe Bill Gates wtf.  But in your senior year you’ll have caught a case of Political Awareness and you’ll end up writing your honors thesis (yes! you write a thesis!) on racist policies wtf.  Oh yea forgot to mention that you totally abandon your science background and graduate with a Bachelor of Arts.  But you saw that coming didn’t you?

Right now all your friends are so sure they’ll go into science fields, and out loud you say you will too but secretly you’re not sure.  When you graduate, you’re still not sure what you’re going to do. FYL.  You narrow it down to three fields though – writing, research… and advertising.  Not gonna spoil it for you though, you’ll have to grow up to find out.

But you should know that you nearly became an English teacher in a Japanese international school in KL.  Luckily you didn’t though because the one sixth grade class you teach – the girls all jumped over you asking if you had a boyfriend and where you bought your clothes, while the boys stayed silent and stared at you, and nobody listened to a thing you said in English.  It wouldn’t have worked out.

You also quit the first job you took after the first day WTF.  But don’t worry I think you do get less flaky the older you get wtf.

Oh you wanted to talk about boys?  Growing up, you never really thought about marriage or weddings so didn’t think it would interest you wtf.  Well, three years after the first boyfriend breaks up with you, you finally forgive him wtf and become friends for real.  He regrets breaking up with you (success WTF) but you already have a new serious boyfriend.  Unfortunately he’s not too serious about you and cheats and lies to you wtf.

But better things are on their way! In ten years time, you will be dating a boy very unlike anyone you’ve ever fallen for.  He spends his time playing Starcraft (-_-) and will need your help in buying clothes.  He’ll be pigheaded sometimes but he’ll be way smarter than you (and most other guys you know).  He’ll also be a big goof and will make you feel the most secure and loved than you ever have.  Not sure what happens to him though you better ask 36 year old Aud.

Oh and you will be a broke ass for the next ten years.

After the first year of college, you stop taking a lot of allowance from your parents yay you!  You end up doing all kinds of part time jobs to make money.

Promoter girl.  Flyer distributor. Call center operator. English teacher at a tuition center in Japan.  Japanese tutor back at Mount Holyoke.  Buffet setter and dishwasher at the campus Office for Religion.  Garbage collector (true story).

You even contemplate being a gardener (declined cos scared you get dark), working in the mail office (cannot cos need to carry up to 15kg packages) and being a nude model WTF (too shy).

And now blogger nyehehe who would have thought.  Oh yea you start blogging too.  Don’t ask me what’s a blog you’ll find out in two years.

Unfortunately you’re still broke now even though you have a proper white collar job because you’ll be paying out of your ass for your student loan.  But you’re still a happy geek.

So that’s where you’ll be in ten years.  Have fun and see you soon! Oh and start praying that time stops now because I’d really like to stop aging, thanks.

Love, 26 year old Aud.