While others were queue-ing up to buy tickets for Shrek (which btw, we did not get to watch thanks to overflow of hormonally-charged teens in Pyramid today), me and Min ran over to Kimarie aka GDO and carried out a nice long conversation with the people there about the 25% discount for haircuts that they’re having for the time being. And hair-obsessed and easily convinced people that we are, we almost wanted to cut out hair there and then. But willpower and fear – that we might end up looking like retards being so hasty – pulled us back.

Because as you all know, getting a bad cut is like going to hell and back. I feel sad everytime I look in the mirror, I wash my hair 23 times a day to make it grow faster, I put gel or whatever on my hair in a pathetic attempt to look better and I don’t feel like going out of the house until it grows. And most of all, you know that my haircut is not reflecting my true self as a pretty girl! (For me, anyway:P)

I’m kidding. The last thing I feel is pretty.

When I look in the mirror, I see this:

Maybe the reason why I keep feeling I wanna go shopping kau kau and buy makeup and earrings and new tops and shoes and that Dior bag, plus get a hair makeover and always doing my nails is cos I’m feeling depressed and low about myself. Maybe it’s PMS or maybe its just me mengada-ing, I dunno. So to make myself feel better, I either surround myself with a lot of people or dress myself up. And since its not possible to kacau people all the time, retail therapy is what I go for.

The best way for me to feel good is to look good. Yes, this is how shallow I am. And how much image and looks matter to me. But when it comes to others, it doesn’t matter how ugly you are, I will still talk to you and be your friend (unless you’re a biatch la). But for myself, it’s somehow so important that I look good. It’s as though the whole world will end if I don’t have my mascara or have greasy hair. To the point that when I was working, people in the office referred to me as Fashion Queen.

Which is actually quite annoying, as though I have no substance under my hair and clothes. Hmm, do I?

I feel so unfulfilled. 🙁