Today we shall follow up with Part III: Basement Girl.
Basement Girl lives in, that’s right, as you might have guessed, IN THE BASEMENT.
She stays in a room in the basement of my dorm. Currently, she has a double room all to herself. Because her roommate couldn’t stand her and moved out. Lucky.
People who stay in double rooms and want to kick their roomie out and have it all to themselves should try the following tactics, as exemplified by Basement Girl.
– Never go to the dining halls for food, ever.
– Instead, everyday go to Blanchard and tapau fried food back to your room.
– After eating, don’t throw away your empty cardboard boxes that used to contain your fried products. Instead stack up the boxes and leave them under your bed.
– If the room starts to smell, all the better!
Other random things you can do to annoy people:
– Take off your shoes during Econs class so that the girl sitting next to you, usually Audrey, almost suffocates and dies. Haha what fun! If possible, try to make your feet sweat even more so that the next 3 people on the other side of Audrey will smell it too and stare accusingly at her.
– When you discover a cockroach running around your stack of old magaiznes which is only natural because you put your magazines next to your stash of old food boxes, scream and phone your friend, katie in a hysterical manner. Insist that she run right over NOW.
– When Katie finally arrives breathless because she ran the entire length of the campus from South Mandelle to Porter and panicking about wtf happened to you, tell her to beat up that nasty cockroach for you.
– Talk to Angela on MSN and moan about the fact that she and you seem to be the only people on campus who own Dior bags. Whine that you hate it here because nobody here seems to dress up or care about their appearance. When Angela answers that that’s not true because she and Audrey dress up, pretend not to have read her message and say, “Yeah, and the people who DO dress up don’t have good taste anyway.” (Bear in mind that you have to say this after everyone has seen you in your jeans with gold swirling pattern on it and reach your ankles, your green sweater with a picture of a ghost on it, and after you have worn a corset and shorts to Las Vegas Nite.)
