Yesterday I went to the Big Y (which is a local supermarket) with Angela and Elise to buy stuff like tissue paper and cotton pads.

Halfway down an aisle, a smiling middle aged woman in a Big Y tshirt clutching a handful of balloons comes up to me.

She says, “Would you like a balloon?”

I answer automatically, “No, thank you.”

She presses, “Are you sure?”

I stop and consider her offerings. “Oh okay, give me the pink one.”

She untangles the pink balloon from her hand and hands it to me. “Now make sure you tie this firmly to your wrist, dear. We don’t want it to fly away, do we?”

I say, “Okay thank you” and meanwhile my friends are collapsing in laughter.

Middle aged lady in Big Y tshirt gazes at me in mild confusion before saying, “I am assuming you’re not as young as I think you are?”

“No, I’m not.”

“How old are you then?”

“I’m 19.”

Elise the evil bitch shouts from the back, “Don’t lie! You’re twenty!”

Cover blown.

Middle aged lady exclaims, “Oh goodness I thought you were twelve!”

I look 12 meh? It must be the way I was dressed. Stupid polka dotted pink jacket and yellow star earrings. Pan jap somore la, Aud Ooi.

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Me and Angela were having this incredibly stupid online conversation.

We were arguing over who is prettier than who and how pretty we were exactly. [cue for you to sweat, beat your breast and murder us]

She said she was too pretty and had better move to Mars because she was too pretty for Earth.

I said I would stay on Earth and be queen of the world due to my prettiness.

She said she didn’t dare stay on Earth because she would be killed for being too pretty.

I said my bodyguards would be very handsome too.

And proceeded to write down a list.

“My Bodyguards”

1. Hideaki Takizawa – because he is just too darn cute.

2. Prince William – Haha! How high class will I look if a prince is my bodyguard!

3. Cha Song-joo (from Stairway to Heaven) – I am sure most of you know of my current obsession with this stupid tearjerking drama.