You can all line up and shoot me when I’m done, but listen to this first.

This time last year I was whining about how I’m getting fatter and fatter until everybody wanted to stone me to death then mutilate my genitals, while screaming that if I’m fat then they’re blue whales.

I take it all back. Now that I’m off those pesky birth control pills and on the traditional Chinese pills, I’m losing every single bit of weight I gained.

I used to be 39 kg but now I’m down to 35! All this while eating two plates of food for every meal, taking naps right after dinner and munching on Kitkats and Pringles right before bedtime.

::Here I am eating at Elise’s and Yennie’s birthday dinner::

::Here I am still eating, while everyone tries to take a picture::

::Me pining for my food, while everyone else is already eating::

I am fucking suay cos whichever restaurant I go with this gang of people, and whatever I order, it will definitely come last. And then I have to sit there salivating while everyone gobbles down their food. Maybe this is why I’m getting thinner. Fucking conspiracy.

::Yen taking pity on me and passing me her leftover Katsudon::

How ar how ar? Do I really have to resort to Supersize Me techniques to gain weight?

Got so many diets online to lose weight but none to gain weight. Teach me la people!

The worst thing is, my cleavage also looks like it’s disappearing! How can?! If this goes on, I swear I’m heading to the plastic surgeon’s already.