I’m back from my weekend in Penang, land of underage Ah Lians and Ah Bengs.Honestly. Sitting in McDonald’s in Gurney Plaza I felt like it’s high time I registered myself in the Little Sisters of the Poor Home for the Aged or something wtf. (That’s a real old folks’ home in Penang btw)
In concordance with today’s trend, Standard 6 to Form 2 students were seated in big groups galore, surrounding me and Brother Ooi and our fries, probably on their first group date.
The girls had either
(a) long black straightened hair with straight across bangs *touches own fringe self-consciously* OR
(b) bowl cuts forced on them by discipline teachers in their respective Chinese schools, no doubt
(c) Sungei Wang type halter tops with random prints on them
(d) Converse lookalikes with colorful metallic laces
The boys had
(a) 1 kati of gel on their heads to try to cool-ify their Chinese school short haircuts
(b) shirts, pants AND slippers
One poser went one up: he had a cigarette stuck through his hoop earring. When I saw it I almost stood up and whacked him on the back of his head.
Daddy Ooi said, “Wah, nowadays children so grown up already hor. Much more well-endowed compared to last time also.”
“Yalah.” Couldn’t say much as I was too busy grabbing fries so Fat Her or Brother Ooi wouldn’t have a chance at them.
“Last time at that age you used to be so ugly.”
WTF.
Brother Ooi chimed in, “Hahaha yalah! At form 1 you were still wearing the green frock!”
(The green frock in question was some British India creation with puffy sleeves and a skirt that reached below my knees, which had a tendency to get soya sauce and chinese tea spilled on it. Yalah I was still wearing those kinda things at age 13. Don’t ask why la I also dunno)
Today I brought up the topic again. Fat Her Ooi was looking at the array of photo frames we had of pictures of me in different stages of my life.
He scrutinizes a photo of us and 12-year old me at Disneyland. “Imagine, last time you used to look like that.”
“Was I that ugly?” I frowned.
“Ya, quite worried at that time. We thought ‘si lah, boh sui eh’. (Die lah, so ugly wan) Luckily you turned out fine.”
“How did you even love me then?” I sulked.
Fat Her laughed and skipped up the stairs.
