Sometimes when I’m in my room, snuggled under the comforter with my laptop on my stomach, I have an urge to get up to clean my room, to shut my closet doors wtf and pick up my clothes off the floor, and then go to the mirror and reapply mascara and put my hair up in a cute ponytail then only sit back down on my bed wtf.
You know why! Cos somewhere in my subconscious I think that the scene would look nicer if there’s a camera on the ceiling, recording every bit of my life.
You tell me if I’m crazy or not! When I was small, I thought I was the only real person in the world; that everyone around me were actors in the movie of my life. I thought that when they’re weren’t there with me – like my classmates or teacher, they just didn’t exist.
Haha so I think that perception stayed with me somewhat, even as I grew older (and wiser wtf). That I am the center of the world (my world, at least), that I am the star of my own movie. And movies rarely end unhappily.
The other day, I started talking again to someone who used to be very close to me but whom I’d lost touch with and he said that I’m as optimistic and idealistic as ever (optimistic idealistic tumeric wtf wtf). But that is honestly what I am like.
No matter how bad things get, they will always get better. No matter how evil a person might be, there is always some good in them somewhere. (Unless they’re like a serial killer and then their badness can’t be helped cos they’re out of their minds wtf.)
And no matter how much trouble or sadness I’m in, it could be for a better twist in the future, but things always get better and I will get my happy ending. 🙂
Comments (13)
i hope i can be as idealistic as you. then no one would get hurt.
EHHHHHHH i felt exactly the same when i was young! but mine was where everyone around me was just an illusion except for myself. like they’re just moving images and perhaps to them, im an illusion too.
sometimes i wonder about life, why people change, why people grow old and die, what is time, why does time passes bla bla bla. im unable to accept reality, haha.
Tze: 🙁
Ya when I was me I felt like the chosen one HAHA ’cause everything’s seen through my eyes. And everybody else were just toys wtf. I didn’t dare to tell anyone how I felt because I was afraid they would make fun of me and call me self centered.
… I still can’t believe you’re going to Aus this Wednesday and I don’t even know for how long T.T
and no matter what happens you’ll still be nearly a feet shorter than me and ppl will continue staring at us like freaks when we’re out together wtf.
eh yalah actually i guess i’m the same. being human i guess it’s normal to feel like a piece of trampled shit after something has happened but when you actually sit down and really think abt it u realise that.. things will get better eventually. either that or you jst get used to it tht it doesn’t bother you anymore wtf.
looks like we didn’t only share the klutziness eh wtf. is a “what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger” gapgap wtf.
I don’t think you’re crazy coz I think that a camera filming every bit of my life is interesting too. I will daydream and wonder what it would be like to put every detail of my life into words, into a book or have it recorded. All those moments that you have you know xD Optimism and idealism isn’t bad, with a touch of realism in there~ =D
hahaha..thats a very interesting way of looking at life. i dont think you’re alone in this. Sometimes i wonder how does it look like from a camera pov when i’m all alone =.=”
we’ve had a long conversation about this face to face so I feel fake to comment something like “omg aud I used to feel that way too when I was young !!” WTF. so yea la you get it ~ wtf . I think I’m the most optimistic person in the world tho … I can always put bad things aside n leave the happy mood w/ me.. . and cam ho when I just finished crying .. altho I look damn sad in those pictures, I still managed to smile wtf wtf. *good times wtf*
hello i’m back i miss reading your blog T_T
tze and jam: why did u guys stop commenting in my blog T_T
Perhaps life really will seem more beautiful the way you think how there’s a camera on the ceiling. Cos in tht way you get to see your own life..somewhat. You got wht I meant?
“And no matter how much trouble or sadness I’m in, it could be for a better twist in the future, but things always get better and I will get my happy ending.” That’s the way I convince myself when I feel sad when something happened though. “When something bad happens, it happens for the good.” -Goddess. Wtf.
Oh ya. I didnt think like how they don’t exist when I’m not around. I actually thought they exist because of me. Wtf. HAHAHAHA
well you’re not the only one who thinks so … when i was much younger i used to think that the people around me were puppets … and i was just the focus of the world …
but moving on in life you realise it’s funny when you think back 🙂
i did feel something of dat kind too when i was younger. even now i still sometimes suddenly straighten my clothes when im alone n stuff. lol~
maybe i should make you my guru or something.. cause I happen to be an eternal…er.. pessimist? lol.
I just don’t get optimism. haih..-.-“