The fact that 2008 is here only serves to remind me that
(a) I am graduating
(b) I better buck up in deciding where I want to be and what I want to be doing omfg
2007 for me started in Kyoto. Had lots of adventures and holidays with Angie and the Angry White Men. I miss them so much and every time I hear someone having a fit it reminds me of them because god they are angry and god do they love yelling at me and Angela.
Went to Taiwan with my soulmate, Ayumi and Yukiko.
Moved back from Japan to KL and was reunited with the Club.
Held down the first job / internship I really liked at Dentsu.
Rekindled old friendships and remembered why we were all invited to each other’s birthdays back in primary and early secondary school.
Flew back to America and discovered I have more perseverance and brains than I knew of.
Met up after years of antagonism with someone who used to mean the world to me, and had my parents’ predictions of “he will regret it” and “he will come back to you” come true.
Realized that the past is not for me.
This year, I realized that having your heart broken at seventeen and having your heart broken at 22 is incomparable.
At 17, I felt like my world had come crashing down around my ears. I didn’t feel like eating and I remember sleeping over at my best friend’s house every chance I got.
I even remember thinking I had let go of the only boy I would ever feel so deeply for and that I would die a spinster wtf.
At 22, I can most definitely still eat, and I can go out and play and laugh and joke and carry on with my life.
But at 22, there is a slow heavy ache much worse than anything I ever felt at 17.
I wonder why? I would have thought that at 17 with the advantage of youth, one would have hoped more deeply, loved more freely than someone 5 years older.
Maybe because this time I really did believe.
This year I realized that words are just words.
Next year will be better:)
This is the most honest I have ever been on my blog. I am not a person who is good at expressing sadness or letting others know when my life is not perfect. Maybe I am too proud. Maybe I don’t want them to worry. Or maybe I don’t want people to get bored of me.
So I don’t know why I am choosing to let it out here. I’m probably the crappiest writer ever of emo blog entries. Maybe because I am sick of feeling this way, and I am grasping at straws as to what will make me feel better.
Happy 2008, everyone.
Comments (19)
Happy New Year, Audrey!
Don’t worry about writing emo post..it’s more like for you to let things out rather than let ppl understand what you’re writing, I think.
I’m sure things will work out better for you. Think positive!
aud: thanks andrew! have a great year!
i love you baby and i’ll always be there for you. i’ll hold your hands until you find the courage to believe again. and then i’ll still be there to make sure you won’t get hurt again.
aud: i love u T____T will u break his nose too wtf
you forgot abt Christine my soulmate darling .
aud: no i didn’t! but i was talking about our trip which she wasn’t there:(
you make me so sad T____T
i don’t know how, why or when but you will be okay. i know it all seems like words and it will seem impossible at this point of time but you will be okay because we will always, always be here for you. i love you so much and please remember that loving yourself always come first regardless of anything. and sometimes, you have to know loss to understand love when it comes.
aud: don’t be sad on account of me T___T i need all the support i can get from u right now i love u T___T
Don’t worry, people like me who reads your blog will support you.
aud: thank u:)
I’ve always been a silent reader.. i mean not that silent lar.. but lazy to comment.
You’ll have a better year. I had a shit 2007. Gotta go back during CNY to turn my luck according to my mother. Haha.
Never seen you emo before… you’ll be fine.. TIME will heal :):) Take care!!
aud: haha chee lim ur not a silent reader ok cos we know each other in real life:P good luck in changing ur luck haha take care!
I think i understand how you feel… because at this point of time, i feel the same way as you do. But don’t worry because i believe 2008 will be a better year. Both for you and me =) I love your blog! Your fan no. 1 haha.
aud: im sorry ur in the same situation as i am:( good luck to both of us:D take care!
aaaw… real emo blog here!! HUGS!!
life is like a feather blowing in the wind.. just let things be, for you can only control what you can and let the rest just fall in place…
next year will be a great year! be optimistic and happy always, love yourself first.. this is the key to loving others.
as your get older, you will cherish your happy times more… not to forget! love your parents! give them a hug or kiss and tell them you “love them”… it seems simple, but it takes a lot of courage because we are chinese.. hahaha… i know, but i defied the odds.
alright, enough of me for now.. hope you have a safe trip back to MOHO. i drove by that place right before new years.. and i thought of you, angie and suet…hahaha
aud: hope u had a great new yrs! actually its springfield not springville. and moho is actually in south hadley:)
cheer up gal…it is a brand new year,lets start the thing again in 2008,let the past be the past..stay cool…Happy New Year..
aud: thanks:)
Keep yourself busy, very busy. The next one will always be better. May you have a fruitful year ahead, stay gorgeous you groovy possum!
aud: thank you! and groovy possum wtf hahahaha
*hug*
Audrey thanks for always brightening my day with your blog…
I think of you when I see pink/Hello Kitty stuff here, and I see them everywhere in Hong Kong!
I hate it when predictions by parents come true. -_-
Be happy!
Drop me an email if you want.
xxx
aud: ur msg was so sweet! haha im glad i cheer u up.. take care! we’ll be happy together:)
:,(
I don’t know what to say to make you feel better, but I really hope that you’ll be better… Take your time but not too long okay luv? We’ll always be there for you whenever you need us and of course to love you unconditionally 🙂 And IF the next guy that comes along breaks your heart… I’ll break his nose.
aud: nose WTF. i love u jammie:)
its a not crap emo post, audrey. u are strong =)
aud: thank u:)
this is my fav post of yours to date. because it shows that you feel what many of us feel too. i hope your 2008 will be much much better. =)
aud: thank u:) i hope ur 2008 rocks too:)
why so emo! 🙁
sisters in solidarity remember!!
aud: haha i made that up on the spot!
come settle down in toronto and u’ll get better wtf
/huhu
WTF
aud: WTF HAHAHAHA /huhu HAHAHAHAAH ya make me feel better titi wtf
despite wad u say i love the way u write ya know, i never laughed harder than when i’m reading your blog and i never sympathised more….. but then however life is down on us we’re still ok as long as we can say WTF and laugh lar hahaha so i hope that 2008 will bring u more and more reasons to WTF HAHAHA yalar u are the cutest 🙂
Happy new year to u too. Never taught that u are same age with me.. I taught ur age is 22++ .. 😛
aud: why u think im so old T3T how can i be more than 22 and still in school wtf
because u look more mature than ur other’s friends (in pic) 😛
aud: how can! i’ll never look old ok T_T *offended wtf