求職が大変だ。
結局に,仕事の機会をもらった。
だけどこの仕事をすれば、本当にたくさん家族とか友達とかと楽しいことできないので悲しくて合間だ。
RedangやPhuketやMSLSやお母さんの誕生日も行けないようになった。：（
=======================
分からないのはどうして男がそんなに冷酷なこともできるかな。それは本当に分からなくて不思議なことだって思う。
彼女がいっても、ほかの子とデートする。。。それは男の中に大丈夫だと思われる。
それで、 好きな子は彼氏がいっても、それも大丈夫だ。「結婚してないなら、まだ機会がある」っていう考えは男の中にたくさんある。
彼女と別れるとき、前のガールフレンドを探して悲しき持ちを伝える。それは冷酷すぎるんじゃないの？利己的じゃないの？
あるとき私は男に対するあきらめる気持ちを持つ。だって男はすごくわがままだって思う。自分のことだけ考えて、自分の楽しか考えない。
もういやや。
I went shopping today for office wear.
I got gloomier and gloomier as the day went on because every piece of clothing I looked at was black, grey or brown.
I tried on black blazer after black blazer until I felt like I was going to melt into a faceless corporate pool of white collar serfs wtf.
I know there is usually a lot of leeway especially in Malaysia, when it comes to women’s office clothes.
There are pants and skirts, shirts and blouses and blazers, colors and fabrics to play with, pastels, charcoal greys, bright whites, basic beiges. Mix and match with tweed and cotton, silk and satin and lace and you have limitless options to choose from.
But I have been offered a position where I have to put on the most conservative outfits day after day.
The company rules say NO TRENDY CLOTHING WTF. And no skirts above the knee.
But this is a place where I have wanted to work in for the longest time.
And at the same time, I can’t imagine stifling myself in starched shirts and sensible pumps everyday.
I mean I love clothes and all, but I never imagined I would be so badly hit by the realization that this is could be my life for at least a while. (well obviously, it’s not really about the clothes but the fact that I would be restricted and so similar to everyone else.)
And to top it off, I don’t know for sure if I’m taking this position yet, I don’t know where else I should go if this job doesn’t come through. I don’t know anything in my life and it’s killing me. And sometimes – not often, but sometimes – I don’t know who the people I thought I knew are.
Written by a very confused and unhappy Aud.
Comments (21)
mmmn is my ah sou suffering frm a post-grad crisis? wtf. i cant blif i’m still awake at 8am wtf but anyways i hope you’re feeling fine 🙁 hang in there okay 🙂
I hope things work out =)
i wanna say do what your heart says but .. sometimes we gotta be realistic too. so take it easy. things will fall in place. but if u really do miss/want to go to japan maybe you should ^_^
hope everything works out fine! *hugs*
Baby 🙁 *HUGS
Well if it’s good for your future then you know you should take it 🙁 We can always go Redang another time 🙁 Your future is more important 🙁
🙁 sad face overload wtf
Welcome to the corporate world and the end of fashion.
*welcomes aud with open arms*
OMGGGG LOVEEE I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FELT! I felt the same way that day when I bought my black suit– I really wanted to cry. :(((
Update me on your job k! Does this mean you are not coming to s’pore anymore. 🙁
すべての男がそうじゃないってなぜ女性は分からないのだろう・・・
( ´ー`)ﾌｩｰ．．．
“だって男はすごくわがままだって思う。自分のことだけ考えて、自分の楽しか考えない。”
datte otoko wa sugoku waga mama datte omou. ONly able to write this sentence lol…
Working for temporary first… Then looking for another job that u like. If u accept, u got pocket money to buy clothes…
T_________________________________________________________________________T longest T_T in the world T_________________________________________________________________T
2nd longest T_T in the world
T_________________________________________________________T
3rd longest T_T in the world
haih okla enough…i already told u most of what i wanna say on msn la. go for it you..risk taker you. wtf
Great jap writings although they make no sense to me. 😛 I totally understand the pain you are going through now. I myself had changed 3 jobs during the first year of my working life. Let me offer you my 2 cents. Well, you haven’t even started on the job yet and you are lamenting about it. I wonder what’s gonna happen when you start working in that company. If you have no other options then just accept it and look for another opportunity while working. At least you can support yourself for the time being. It’s gonna be hard to know what you wanna do for the first year. I’m pretty sure sooner or later you gonna figure it out based on your interest and what you are really excel at. I know you are a smart girl. Don’t let situation limit your choices. Imagine doing something you don’t like for the next 30 years. It’s gonna be dreadful and you gonna regret someday. After all you only live your life once. I have faith in you and I know you gonna be successful. All you need to do now is to find your innerself and unleash your fullest potential. Sometimes, a senior who has the same major like you can help you out. At least you can learn from their experiences. 🙂 Anyway, congrats on the job offer and welcome to working life! Wish you the best of luck!
Opps, did I wrote that much! sorry… Anyway, my email is my IM, if you need an advice shoot me a message. 🙂
good luck!!
many hugs 🙁
okay how about.. decorating your desk with lots of cute and personal stuff! or accessorizing! or wearing cute bags and shoes to work that are cuter than all your other colleague’s!!!
adui, aud. congrats on the job offer though! i know i’ll probably have to be in a smiliar position as you soon and i’m not really looking forward to it…hm.
anyway, no chance of wearing bright shoes? belts? bags? 🙂 hugs dear.
Hey! I found your website randomly when I was searching ganguro gyaru stuff and i came across your how-to thing.
Then I started noticing your language. You’re malay! Me too! 🙂
I don’t speak it much but I do understand it when you put in a bit of Melayu here and there.
Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and that you’re very pretty and cute! 😀
Come by my myspace or email me sometime, yeah?
It’d be nice to hear from you! ^____^
xoxo- Yasmin
what happened aud, who made you so sad T______T *sayangs*
maybe threaten them wtf, like with my fist wtf (like that is going to be of any use!) or i know, I know maybe Barry’s fist – it’s a matter of proximity seeing as how he is in KL and i am not wtf wtf.
but seriously i can empathise with how you feel – the months following my graduation were quite possibly the worst in recent memory. i felt so unsettled and so agitated cos everything was up in the air. and damn stressed too due to the job-hunting. stressed until my hair fall out ok – or maybe it’s cos eat outside food too much sampai msg overdose wtf.
but about the dress code – it does sound pretty stifling -____-
i’m guessing it’s with a huge multinational comp – only they could come up with crap like ‘no trendy clothing’ wtf.
and when i was reading your entry i was thinking of hui wen’s fashion travails too – she did mention in her blog even her hairdresser thought business formal was ‘so not her, so not her, so not her’ wtf.
eh aud, you ini orang Melayu kah? *points at Yasmin’s comment right above mine*
I thought that in The Club only Jammie’s bf Li Tat was Melayu. lelaki melayu terakhir wtf.
Are u destined to be in such strict companies haha cuz I rem you blogged about the job you did in glenmarie or sth during holidays and your annoying female boss complained about your clothes.
I’d say go for the job since it’s something you really wanna do. And you can always resign if you really can’t stand the dress code! that’s what probation period is for!(-_- “)
btw, never thought I’d say this but.. WTF!! Someone actually mistook you for a Malay LOL.
p/s: 同感！確かに男はみんなそうとは言えないけれど・・でもそういうことが出来る男ってホントに居るのも事実だよねー何でそんなことが出来るんでしょうね。なんで何人の女性と同時にお付き合いやイチャイチャとかできるのかな？罪悪感ないのかな。あたしには一生かけても理解できないな。
ちなみに、日本で就職したいならあたしと手を組まない？？＊本気モード＊メアド書いてあるから、声かけてね。一緒に作戦でも考えよう！(汗）
まーとりあえず、元気出してね！くよくよしてるとすぐ老けちゃうよ！！
I say this :
TRY EVERYTHING.
Until you figured out what is it you can and must have in a job. 🙂
*huggles*
HHAHAHAHAHHA WHY GOT PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE MALAY!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHA