This is the story of one of the greatest battles in my life.
The Battle of the Roach.
T______________________T
Beetles I can take. Pick them up and toss them outside no problem. Moths just ignore cos they’re pretty. Ants can close one eye cos they’re hardworking wtf. Mumsy hates ants but how can you kill something who’s working so hard to bring food back to its colony T_T
Even mosquitos just spray some repellant and can relax wtf.
But cockroaches! How is it possible to ignore them if you know one is running around your house? What if you go to sleep and they shit all over your face WTF.
God I hate cockroaches. Why even my first ever blog post here was about cockroaches WTF. (also proof how sad my life was back then wtf)
Seriously even if the world ended, cockroaches would still somehow find a way to survive. By clinging to debris and eating poop no doubt.
Source: If Historical Events had Facebook Statuses
Anyway back to the Battle of the Roach.
The other night I was getting ready for bed.. when i spotted a baby cockroach running around on the TV cabinet T__________T (does this mean it has disgusting siblings chilling somewhere too)
I grabbed a paperback and tried to slam it to death.
But it scuttled sneakily UNDER the TV stand, out of my murderous reach.
You know how LCD TVs have a stand to stabilize on? Most are made of a huge sheet of glass with some little legs made of cork or rubber or something, about like 5mm thick.
And the damn roach hid in that 5mm of safety.
I tried everything.
I tried using some cardboard to stick under the glass and provoke the roach to run out.
It hid deeper in the middle of the glass FML.
Ugly Cockroach 1, Aud 0.
I tried lifting up the TV.
It was too heavy.
Ugly Cockroach 2, TV 1, Aud 0.
I got Wombeh to stand guard in front of the TV with a book in hand while I tried again to push the cockroach out from behind the TV. If it ran out the front, Wombeh would be there to send it to its death wtf.
The cockroach never ran out.
Ugly Cockroach 3, Miserable Aud 0.
Hell would freeze over before I would go to sleep knowing that a cockroach was sharing the room with me.
In the end I lined the edges of the entire TV stand with books to block the cockroach’s escape.
And prayed it would die of suffocation wtf.
The next morning, I woke up and hastily went to check on my hostage.
He was gone T_____________T
And this impressive display of survival skills is what ensures cockroaches will far outlive us. Buttfaces.
P/S: In case you’re scrutinizing my books, the one called “Please Daddy No” is not child porn wtf. It’s an autobiographical account of a child abuse victim wtf and I got it in some Buy 2 Free 1 deal.
Comments (31)
So… how do u know which book the baby cockroach crawled through to escape ?
._.
EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee >_< THROW THEM ALL AWAY, I SAY !
HAHA omg the flying ones are my worst nightmare!!
eh i read that book before also! is it quite sad wan she had to move house a few times and her mom don’t let her see her grandma that one arh? lisa or what right her name was quite good wat!
I HATE COCKROACHES ALSO but why u so brave can kill /boo i see one i immediately curl up and die wtf
Buttfaces LOLOLOL
I miss our silverfish battle T______T
i have some BAAAAAD news for u……my dad owns a store in a wet market- back when i used to help out i made a career of battling roach POPULATIONS that proliferate in every nook and cranny undisturbed for more than a week- so my observation is if theres a baby cockroach hangin theres prob a nest of them siblings chillin nearby cos baby cockroaches are sociable like that the loners are usually muthafuckinass HUGE hopefully yours is an outlier baby roach tho
btw i once had a dvd player kena killed by a roach population O_O
AP, WTF omg!
Aud, what if the roach crawled into the tv and when u’re watching glee u see a cockroach on rachel’s face wtf
HATE ROACHES. hate them hate them hate them! 6 hair legs, 2 wavy antennas, stinky smell and they FUCKING FLY. at you.
if i know got one in the room i am NOT sleeping in there till the bastard is dead.
LOL HI 5 AUDREY! I friggin hate coacroaches too >:( and ur post made me l-o-l xD theyre freakin smelly when their around,not to mention the JUICE when u killed them. UGH! haha get armed with a multi-insect spray and goodluck sending em to hell.
SCREW THE COACROACHES. WOOT!
omfg reading AP’s comment made me sweat the fuck out cos i saw a baby roach, a teenager roach, a young adult roach AND a working adult roach at different times in my kitchen!!!! if grandparent roaches also come out one fine day….. *pees in my pink flower shorts
Your p/s ending is epic 😛
despicable parasites WTF I want them extinct cuz they are no help to the ecosystem at all
I freaking hate cockroaches too!!! Damn those disgusting pests!
What’s the book “Malaysian Maverick” about? Also, cockaroaches are hella gross!
get a cat, they can catch mouse and roaches all the same!
Great suggestion KY, my cat can even catch lizard… ><
Hey aud,
Cockroaches are all over in my studio!!!
I was damn pissed and I killed 3 babies cockroaches last night.
I’m moving out because of cockroaches!
I tried everything thing but none of them work!
GGRRRRRRRRRRRR
ok imma be one of those who didnt comment on your well worded Korea trip *pats back* but who comments on your roach post *guilty*. i was so sick of being deathly afraid of roaches i did some research on them the other day- did u know if you see one roach, there are prolly 100 you cant see. AND AND one friggin egg sack and house 40 – 60 babies so you were right that damn roach prolly had siblings running around too. *shudder* ok enough roach info for the day
erm…roaches aside..haha
may i know the title of the 2 books next to “please daddy, no?”
Haha! My family used to catch cockroaches whenever we saw any in the bathroom/toilet and trapped them in a plastic bag, so we can feed them to the frog who actually made this hole ((drain..errr watever it is)in the toilet his home. Buttt one day he/she kena flushed to dunno where. *sigh* we lost our beloved cockroaches killer.
Garghhhh
I can’t stand roaches too @@
but i just let go a teenage roach the other day … 🙁
I think i gonna regret it..
How come you don’t just use an insecticide spray? I got a specific anti-cockroach one recently and it really drops them dead almost instantly! And it comes with a little tube to get into nooks and crannies.
just started reading your blog a few days ago and have been reading your past entries. you’re super cute and your hair is always so nice. i found out about your blog from cheesie’s blog. i thought she was cute until i read yours. i dont know why but i read all the AudEmo entries first and i felt so sad for you angie and suet. i hope the 3 of you can stay friends forever. and you and wombeh (i still dont know why you call him tt) will b happy tgt forever too! 😀
i hate cockroaches too!! they can crawl through the thinnest cracks T_T
nevaeh: …crap.
rebecca: ya worst!
tze: no wor the author was a man WTF
claud: hahahaha
angie: we took 4 videos of just that battle /boo
ap: FMLLLLL
sweatlee: then i’ll destroy the tv!
kehrol: ya same!!
alexandra: so smart i didn’t think of a spray T3T
strawberry: WTF why got 7 generations under one roof wtf
chefmel: hahahah thanks
XCB: i guess they feed…frogs…..
JAPB: YA!
abraxis: i think it’s an expose on mahathir or something hahaha. it’s banned in malaysia
KY: can i borrow cendawan?
panda: har why your cat so predator wan
bobo: YA JUST MOVE. or get an exterminator?
xen: 40-60?!? *slashes wrist
bulat: haha the yellow one is Between the Assassinations by Aravind Adiga. the other book is some shitty book by some airline stewardess about the stories that happen to people working in airlines and didn’t give my life any value but dumbed down my iq
miao: WHY U DO THAT
mona: ya they’re unstoppable T_T
mel: why you feel sorry for us! don’t we’ll meet each other again for sure!
julian: i didn’t think about it…………
time to clean up your dirty room!
what is taht star of david thing?
The other book is called “Fasten your Seat Belts” by an anonymous author who goes by the name “Boh Tong”. It’s supposed to be a book about the adventures of cabin crew of a certain airline based out of Changi Airport. Don’t ask how I know that.
h: that was a TIME magazine haha
abraxis: WHY DO YOU KNOW THIS
i hate roaches, i can’t leave them a dead body i want them to hancur berkecai in front of my eyes to confirm that it died…
Hate cockroaches too some can fly right? Luckily there aren’t any (?) in UK! and Moths arent pretty!!! They’re just brown and gross.
You should have sprayed something in the gap and close the gap so he suffocates! x