Within the last couple of days, three people have already asked me if I’m going on a “bridal diet.” -_-
I was mildly offended because if you ask any woman if she’s planning to go on a diet, it can only mean one thing wtf.
Like how if you buy someone deodorant for Christmas, it can only mean one thing hahahahah.
But then I remembered a colleague last year who went on a crash gym regimen a couple of months before her wedding even tho she was quite skinny already.
It’s part of the whole gearing up to look your best for most important day of your life thing.
Anyway a month or so back, Aesthetics Marketing Asia contacted me. They are a major supplier in Malaysia for beauty solutions and treatments for face and body(non-invasive, meaning no surgery involved) Companies like Marie France get all their supplies from them! Other clients are Slimming Sanctuary, Cenosis, etc.
Aesthetics said they wanted to give me and Fatty a wedding present – treatments to target whatever problems we have.
Fatty shuddered and said no wtf. He doesn’t like staying still to have things slathered on him wtf.
But I thought it’d be quite interesting and went ahead to meet the Beauty Trainer.
This is her. Her name is Christy!
At first she looked at me and said ‘not much fat areas to improve’.
Boy was she wrong wtf.
She asked me which areas of my body that I wasn’t happy with.
So I told her my eyebags! :3 And I don’t like that my tummy and thighs are quite flabby. And I have cellulite on my legs *breaks down and cries
Being skinny doesn’t mean you don’t have cellulite ok *rages
Anyway first she hooked me up to this machine which takes special photos of my face and analyzes it.
And oh lawdy this is the most depressing information ever.
Cannot believe I spend so much time and money on my face and my skin still sucks.
It checks for a bunch of different things – skin type, moisture, elasticity, pores, sebum, pigmentation,
I failed every single one T_________T except suppleness I think. Suppleness I was in the normal range. But she told me that this is an overall global scale and Asians are supposed to have higher suppleness levels compared to Caucasians.
So for an Asian I still fail T_______T
Asian Dad would not be happy.
MCB depressing ok. I always knew my skin is dry wan. But the results showed that cos my skin is dry, it tries to compensate by upping the production of oil. So that’s why I end up having oily T zone fts.
Then wrinkles no need to say la *even more depressed
Then pigmentation cos I have some freckles too.
And pores are also enlarged. FTS. Plus got sebum deposits around T zone area.
Come on universe, what else can you throw at me wtf.
Then next was body check up.
I take even less care of my body than I do face so I was quite terrified.
A lot of gyms these days have one of these things!
Basically I stood on it and gripped those two handle things and the machine could analyze my body mass, fat, etc.
Miraculous.
4 feet 9 = 146 cm wtf.
Ok la these are things I already know wtf. Weight is underweight and so is BMI.
Body type low weight. Means my weight is low but I’m not thaaat fat yet. But Christy warned me against gaining any more fat -______- She said that for my weight I’m actually borderline fat WTF. If you look at the 2 photos above at PBF assessment, it stands for Percentage Body Fat. And my PBF is 27% which is a lot considering that my weight and BMI are under optimal levels.
Shit me. So i’m skinny but fat wtf.
Weirdly enough, it turns out that my fat is not at my legs and tummy as I thought, but my arms D:
The black semi circles represent fat mass, and red is muscle mass. So if you see left arm & right arm (top two circles) I got over abundance of fat and not enough muscle fts.
Surprisingly for torso, I got Under for fat and Optimal for muscle!!!!! All the laughing I do is worth it cos I can’t think of anything else I do that tightens stomach muscles lolol.
Then for legs, left leg is Under for fat and Well for muscle! Right leg is Optimal for fat and Under for muscle.
True actually Fat Her always tells me my left leg is bigger than my right and I always get irritated thinking he’s just being annoying. But yea I tend to favor my left leg and lean on it more.
Then also got a lecture from the machine fts.
Of course exercise is what’s most necessary for me now.
But cos I lazy the Aesthetics people said I can try another of their technologies first – a fat zapper which emits radiowaves to zap fat cell membranes and dissolve the fat D:
No pain or any feeling wan.
Treatment starts this week so I’m crossing my fatty fingers.
Comments (14)
My gym doesn’t have that machine I think, but in a way I’m kinda glad, because I dont really want to know. 😡
Anyway good luck! Stay healthy 😀
Looks interesting.
It’s normal for bride-to-be to on diet, no matter fat or thin, every girl wan to look perfect on wedding day.
SO, go audrey! be the most pretty bride in July!
you are so thin……!
I wonder if we have one of these in Manila? so much technology going on… Damn I might find out I’m overweight and get killed for it urgh! , anyway stay healthy the wedding is near=) you’re always a pretty!!
Bioelectrical impedance isn’t that accurate for measuring body fat percentage since it’s heavily dependent on your body’s hydration level at the time. Even the skin caliper test is supposed to be more accurate haha
Your Body Fat is just 21.6% 27%…you’re not really skinny skinny fat. The machine will result in temporary reduction but it may lead to fat redistribution in undesired place or even more storage in the future. Just to warn you of some “real experiences” that technicians don’t tell you…
why the machine’s english so bad wtf
how is it possible that u are fat? it’s all a lie it’s a lieee!
If I ever see one of those machines I’m running! Rather not know what a fatty I am haha! Good luck with the zapping ^^
Hahahahahahaha, skinny but fat. Nice catch! But I’m sure you found a really great husband that will care for you no matter how u look 😉
Dooon’t believe that machine.
I went to school with a guy that was 4’10” and about your weight, and the gym-fat-caliper-person told him he was skinny-fat and verging on being “fat,” BUT, you could see his ribs.
Also, you and I are the same age, yet you so skinny. Not fair!! I guess also I’m 11″ taller… 😮
Is it just me? Or is the girl giving you the treatment has fat arms, fat face etc. Nothing against her. She seems nice. Just…how can you trust the company can help other girls to be thinner when the person working there is…
fionachan: hahaha it’s good to know where your problem areas are so that you can work on them!
lynn: hahaha thanks lynn!
jessie: i’m just light -_- there’s a difference hahaha
dianne: i’m sure there is! hahaha why you say get killed for it hahahah
mayumi: ya but as a gauge i think it’s ok ah 😀
oishioishi: oooh isit ah thanks for letting me know lemme try and see howw
tze: ya dunno *whispers
ky: not fat la hahahaha just got more fatty tissue than muscle
morgan: don’t bluff you were gonna be a disney princess how can you be fat!
nick: hehehe thank you
courtney: hahaha no they didn’t say i’m fat! they said that i have fat and i shouldn’t gain more fat but work on developing muscles instead
nicole: har why you so mean wtf. her cheeks are chubby but she’s quite slim in real life! her wrists are the size of mine leh. anyway they did say that if you don’t exercise, there’s a limit to how much these technologies can help anyway. so you have to help youself also la
you know what, when they say the fat zapper will zap the fat cell membrane and dissolve fats, yes it’s true that you will be slimmer. BTW, when a person in hunger, the first thing your body metabolize in order to keep your body function normally is glycogen. when you’re in starving while all the glycogen have been used up, the body then will turn fats into glucose, likewise for proteins when fats used up. muscles are made up of proteins, when it has been digested, it will never regenerate or regrow and so the part of your body may be deformed!!thus, if you zap up all your fats, the next time when you’re starving, the first thing your body goes after glycogen will be your muscle!!