This is probably the first time ever I’m blogging pictures of…. food.

Do you realize! I very rarely ever post pictures of food.  I like food and all but it’s not really of big interest to me.  You eat it then it all comes out looking the same what wtf.

Cheesie said she doesn’t even feel like blogging these pictures cos they’re so ugly make her blog ugly lolol.

But this week, Cheesie and I took an impromptu trip to Guangzhou cos both of us have never been there.

And we hated it.

So much that we booked a flight to come back two days earlier than scheduled WTF.

I’ve heard a lot about China but nothing prepared me for this T______T

First of all, the weather was as hot as Malaysia but twice as humid.  The minute we stepped out of our hotel, we started sweating.  Never mind.

Fatty warned me that it would be very polluted and I wouldn’t be able to see blue sky wtf.  I didn’t notice these things but I noticed that Cheesie sneezed non-stop and her nose ran so much she cannot catch it wtf.  And I kept feeling like got dust in my throat.  Never mind.

Then when we were sitting on the bus, this old man sitting near us cleared his throat and spat on the floor. Of the bus T________T

And when we were in a mall (indoor) we saw a woman lift her baby over a trashcan so the baby could poop in it T___________T Bobo was like don’t look don’t look but it’s like watching a horror movie.  Or a car accident wtf.  You just cannot take your eyes off it even though you know what’s coming.

Oh I also nearly threw up when I had no choice but to go into a public bathroom T____T I tahan until nearly get UTI already so I was forced to go.  To my horror instead of a bin with a cover for disposal of tampons/sanitary pads, there was just a wastebasket in the toilet stall.  Uncovered.  With used pads stained red in it T___________T  This is when I nearly puked.  Don’t know whether to put my head near the toilet bowl, or my ass.  FTS.

When we were walking around, instead of looking around at the scenery (wait, what scenery) I spent the entire time looking down at the ground and avoiding patches of spit.

Chinese rudeness is legendary and I got to see it with my own eyes.  On the bus to the hotel from the airport, the conductor shoved my ticket and my change into my elbow for me to take it T_____T  Then Bobo’s sister Gin who came to pick us up, told us we had to watch our baggage every time the bus stopped to make sure nobody steals our bags WTF.

Then on the second day, we stood by the side of the road for at least twenty minutes, trying to flag down a cab to go back to the hotel.  All while cab drivers whizzed by at the rate of 1 cab/second.  Sorry, they didn’t whiz by.  They stopped to ask where we wanted to go, and when they heard our answer, all of them just drove off WTF.

I swear we flagged down like fifty cabs at least.

In the end, we were so desperate we got into an unmarked taxi T_______T  Which is basically a normal car belonging to an enterprising civilian who just wants to make extra money by acting like a taxi and driving people around.  I was so prepared to clobber him on the head from behind if he tried anything funny wtf.

By the time we got back to the hotel, my white leather loafers had grey lines of dust collected in the grooves of the leather.

And I got a shock when I looked in the mirror cos why I became so dark did I get tanned while waiting for taxi!!!!!  Then after I washed my face I became fair again WTF it was just all the dust that landed on my face 

Literally .

In the cab me and Cheesie looked at each other and she was like “do you wanna go home early?” and I immediately opened my Air Asia mobile app to book our asses out of there wtf.

The two more days we had left in Guangzhou loomed over us like the valley of death ok we felt sick even thinking that we had two more days to go!!!

So we paid extra for an earlier flight.  And when we got onto the plane, I never felt so happy to see Malaysians and hear Malaysian accents T_____T  I nearly cried when we touched down in KL true story.

So this is the reason why for the first time ever, on an overseas trip, all I have to show are mostly food photos.

Cos that was actually the best thing about Guangzhou – the food.

 

Peanut sauce noodles with roast pork!

Goose intestines.  It’s all crunchy and the sauce on it was delicious!

 

Wasabi prawns.  At first I was like meh cos I don’t really like shrimp unless they’re in salad but these were fantastic!  I think they were cooked in wasabi so the taste was just wonderful.

 

Bobo’s sister Gin checking my pulse.

Gin studied traditional Chinese medicine in Guangzhou cool leh!  For 8 years some more.  Since my PCOS cannot be healed by western medicine even after ten fucking years of taking the pill, I’m exploring alternative medicine yo.

She’s my age so she said a lot of older folks don’t trust her due to her youth but I think she’s amazing already!  She took my pulse and stared at my ear (she majored in ear gazing lolol) and pronounced that I’m very “leng” (cold; Chinese medicine believes that sicknesses are caused by your body being imbalanced, too ‘cold’ or too ‘heaty’) which is what other Chinese doctors have said about me also!

So because my body is too cool, it affects my period and my body finds it hard to regulate my cycle… something like that wtf.

She also looked at my ear and said “you get gastric a lot right” omg so accurate wan!!!! And she also correctly asked me if I have any pain in my shoulders or arm which I got all the time!!! I thought it was because of my long hours working at the computer but she said it’s actually cos my body is imbalanced.  Which is the same thing another Chinese doctor I visited in Penang said last time, but I didn’t believe him wtf I still thought it was computer strain.  So now I think it’s true la.

I cannot take cooling foods like green tea (which I drink everyday wtf) and need to drink like red date tea which is more heaty to balance out the coolness.

I’m so cool. Hahahahahah.

Anyway she’s giving me a prescription for traditional Chinese medicine so see how it goes!  If this works to fix my problem, I swear Imma stop going to western doctors.

 

She told Cheesie to press on the sides of her nose to relieve her blocked nose and it worked!!!

 

The angle doesn’t show but the durian was actually twice the size of my head.

 

#addiction outfits

 

Our breakfast wtf.  Hotel was very no frills and this was the hotel breakfast.  Three baos and a peach and an egg.  A bowl of refillable porridge with yummy salted vegetable also came with it and only RMB7 leh!  Plus me and Cheesie split the breakfast so basically it cost RM1.75 each wtf.  Some more we kept the egg and peach to eat later as a snack super worth it hahahaha.

 

Old school Pepsi.

 

Ja jang mien.  Ok sorry dunno how to spell it. This was RM9 (with the Pepsi included) and the portion was huge!  Can feed two people.  Very yummy also and noodle texture also very nice wtf.

After we booked our flight back for the next day, I wanted to end the trip on a nice(r) note so we went for foot massage.

It was probably the best part of the trip T_____T

 

Got free water!  And lemon tea!  And watermelon slices wtf.

 

Foot massage in China is quite different from say Bangkok or KL.  I chose the “get rid of tiredness” package and they brought out this wooden tub and dumped some smelly medicinal powder in the water for me to soak my feet in.

Only RMB68 (RM34) for 70 minutes of massage!  They threw in shoulder, back and arm massage too wtf.

edit: have to say that the masseuses were very friendly and had mad massage skills wtf

 

All of us looking exhausted.  Shitty until none of us bothered putting on makeup.  Or dressing up.  Cos it was so dirty, I wore the same denim shirt everyday to protect my whole body from the dirt. -_-

Then the next day, home!

But not before China screwed us one more time.

This very average fried rice at the airport cost RMB78.  Or RM39.

And no other food around to eat -_________________-

Fed up faces hahahah.

So that was Guangzhou for us.  At least it gave me blog fodder.

Thank you to Gin though for being so helpful and for bringing us around and generally taking very good care of us!!!!  And thank you Cheesie and Bobo without whom I’d never have gotten around at all cos they translated everything for me <333333