So Fighter was born on Monday.
Hey Jude, don’t let us down. 🙂
It’s been a very surreal past few days.
On Sunday night I just told Fatty that I didn’t think my body could do it any longer. A lot of people posted encouraging messages telling Fighter to stay in and not come out yet, but the truth is it’s not up to him.
Not about whether he wanna come out leh! It’s my stupid blood pressure.
And on Sunday I felt like things were coming to a head now. My blood pressure had become increasingly harder to control and I was suffering from worsening symptoms – the doctor had nearly maxed out my BP medication by then; but besides that the meds were wreaking havoc on my system.
Preeclampsia comes with severe swelling due to fluid retention but the BP meds make it worse too. I swelled to elephantine proportions I kid you not — the last few days I gained 1-2kg of water weight each day wtf.
My limbs were swollen, my jaw was swollen, even my eyes were so swollen I could barely open them wtf. And I couldn’t move myself! By then I was only 7 months + pregnant but I already couldn’t stand up straight. My backbone went missing wtf I thought I was just fat but it was cos there was so much water pooled around my entire torso.
So I told Fatty I don’t think I can do this much longer. I thought it would be by the next week or so.
Turns out it was the next morning wtf.
The entire Sunday night I spent unable to sleep because I couldn’t get comfortable. My stomach was too huge and heavy and even if I lay on my side, it hurt because the weight of it was pulling itself away from my body! And I was having trouble breathing (what I thought was the baby pressing on my lungs)
Dr Teresa came in early in the morning, took one look at me and said “you have to deliver today.”
My face was bright red, my pulse was racing and I was puffing although all I was doing was lying on the bed wtf. I didn’t know it but fluid had collected in my lungs by then.
Off I went to the labor room to prepare for an emergency C section.
They plugged me all full of intravenous needles and the first thing they did was transfer me magnesium sulphate. Seizures are very common in preeclampsia so the drug was to prevent me from going into fits as well as to stabilize baby’s brain since he was going to be so premature.
Then they shoved a catheter up my urinary tract. Found it damn uncomfortable like I got a permanent UTI T____T
The magnesium sulphate was so horrible!! First I started feeling hot. Then my wrist (the drip was on the back of my hand) started aching. Then it felt like someone was repeatedly taking a hammer and banging my entire forearm.
Then I threw up. Exactly like Linda Blair in the Exorcist.
The nurses slotted a vomit pan in front of me but I still managed to puke everywhere! Totally cannot control lo I managed to puke all over my hospital gown, my own (lower) legs, the bed, the nurses (FTL).
At this point I really thought death would be better wtf.
I was in sooo much pain and discomfort — the uncontrollable vomiting, what felt like a broken arm, the stupid catheter in my pee hole and the thought of giving birth later — I really wished for a lethal injection by then hahaha.
But kudos to the nurses who were so efficient! They managed to clean me up, change my gown, AND change the sheets while I was still on the bed. By then the worst of the nausea had passed and I think I half passed out at this point also.
My reaction to the drugs also slowed down a bit so while I still felt arm pain and some nausea it was quite bearable after that.
Then they rolled me into the operating theater. I was exhausted by then but still quite scared I think I was shaking.
I saw my mom hovering worriedly outside the OT and luckily Fatty was allowed in with me! 
Saw this pic he took later on — I guess they got him to change into scrubs and crocs. Ok la I can make exception this time for the crocs ahhaahha.
I remember being rolled in and how cold the OT was. I remember Dr Teresa (my obstretician) sitting studying a file calmly and I blearily thought good good she prepare to the last minute because that’s the kind of student I was — the super irritating type that reads notes until the exam starts hahahaha.
The anesthecian, Dr Chua, injected something into my spine. Actually I still dunno what the procedure was exactly but he was damn good! If I was more awake I’d be terrified at this point (cos Wendy told me epidural needle is like a satay stick), but I hardly felt anything. A blood test hurts more seriously.
In seconds my legs felt numb and I remember Dr Teresa telling me that the drug is working.
I don’t remember much after this point actually even though Fatty told me later they were asking me questions and I was responding.
I remember holding someone’s hand and at one point it was Fatty but it could also have been a random Indian lady wtf. Dunno what’s true and what’s not hahaha.
I do remember being rolled because I could feel the motion and realizing that it was already over. I forgot to ask if they gave me meds to sleep also or just anesthesia actually.
Within the hour I was back in the labor room so I think it was super quick!
The first day (immediately after surgery) I was still super out of it I didn’t realize it’s considered a major surgery! They were still monitoring my pee output with the catheter and I was only taking liquid in through a drip (I guess to check if my body was clearing water) so I was bedridden.
The anesthesia also lasted a day so I really didn’t giving birth was that bad hahaha. Second day only eat my words wtf.
I only got to see Fighter a day later! Everyone (Fatty and the grandparents) all got to see him before me because I couldn’t move and he was in the NICU in an incubator. 🙁
I got so much more to blog about but I think I’ll keep it purely about his birth and the C section this post!
Fighter is doing well considering his birth weight (1.1kg) and the prematurity! It’s a take a day at a time thing for now, but he’s doing well so far! Brain scans are ok so far (although problems can crop up any time touch wood), lungs are immature but ok enough that he’s not on the highest concentration of oxygen, and no other signs of impairment so far.
And the most encouraging news – breast milk is super crucial especially for a baby like Fighter because he didn’t get antibodies from my uterus (T__T). Some preemies cannot take breast milk but his neonatalogist tested him on 1ml of breastmilk every 4 hours and he took it! So they’ve actually been doubling his feeding everyday and he’s been responding well so far which we take for a very good sign!!!!
As for me, I’m still in the hospital because my BP still hasn’t come down yet. Yesterday only Dr Teresa told me that I was actually in a lot of danger I guess she didn’t say explicitly earlier dowan to scare me. :X She said when they opened me up there was water everywhere. Even Dr Chua said he had to ‘press’ water away from my backbone first before he could inject me. Damn scary! Luckily no more water in my lungs now, just the rest of my body. They’re not letting me out yet until I stabilize more because I can still kena a seizure any time. But it’s okay because Fighter is here too! I get to go in and see him any time I want so it’s a good trade off I guess.
Best thing of course is I get better (and skinnier and less bloated) and Fighter comes home with us la!!!!!! But I take what I can get.
P/S:
What really gets my BP up is…. breast feeding evangelists!!!!! Already so sick and dealing with so much physical and emotional suffering and I still have to read comments from idiots telling me to breast feed.
WHICH PERSON WITH NORMAL ACCESS TO INFORMATION DOESN’T KNOW THAT BREASTFEEDING IS GOOD?
You might think that you’re only doing your moral duty to let me know about the wonders of breastfeeding but let me tell you this, benefits of breastfeeding is not a breakthrough revelation. Everyone knows about it. If you think that I – despite being so connected and educated – still don’t know then you must think I’m stupid. And you’re very condescending and offensive.
2ndly, even if I’ve been hiding under a rock somewhere, I have been hospitalized for 3 weeks now, surrounded by health professionals. If I didn’t know about it earlier don’t you think I’d know it by now and that I don’t need you to superiorly remind me to breastfeed? Or do you think I don’t care enough about my baby? I fought to keep him in my uterus for 3 weeks do you not think I wouldn’t consider anything else I can do for him? I don’t know about you but I’d take breast feeding over battling preeclampsia any time.
All the comments I got – the way they’re written and the timing just makes me think that the only reason why anyone would do this is so they can feel superior about themselves. That they’re ‘doing a good deed’ and ‘being a better mom cos I’m breastfeeding my kid’. Well the only thing you’re doing is make people angry.
The info is all already out there. Some people decide not to breastfeed or are unable to for some reason; whatever you say will not change this. So please do everyone a favor and just be quiet.
Ok rant off and zen mode on. Waiting for Fatty to come so we can go see Fighter again!
Comments (107)
Good Morning Audrey! Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy 🙂 Wish the best for you and Fighter <3
Congratulations ! All the best to fighter ! So glad to see you being able to blog again ^_^!
So happy for you Audrey. U did a great job as a mummy! Jude will be a future good son. Take good care Audrey! God bless you and Jude.
Bravo Audrey! You did well. You did all you could to hold on this long for the baby. Focus now is get well soon, Jude will be fine just as you mentioned all the progress on him so far. nDon’t bother about people telling you to breast feed. Just focus on yourself to get better and take care of Jude when he is well enough to discharge *super hugs*
hello aud, congrats, vv happy for you! 🙂 you’re a brave mommy!
Thank god! 😀 Rest well Audrey!
Glad to hear you and your baby are doing so well! 🙂 I bet there are a lot of people/readers that were so concerned about you two. nnGet well soon!
Yay!! Can’t wait to see Jude and you discharge and back home and live happily ever after! Haha!
You are truly a great mother Audrey for being so strong to be able to put up with all that! Praying for you and fighter’s speedy recovery! Hope you’ll be able to take your beautiful baby boy home soon =)
Jia you Audrey, u did well! ignore those unfriendly comments la. do what you can. God bless you and Fighter!
Very nice to read that fighter is fighting well. Thank you for updating the readers about him. A mother’s love is selfless. Get well soon Audrey!
Congratulations to you and your family! I’m so glad that both Fighter and you are doing well. I believe that everything will go back to normal and you’ll be playing with Fighter at home soon!
Hi Audrey!nTry to not think about idiots who are writing shit to you. They’re obviously unable to feel any empathy at all since we all know what you’ve been through the last weeks.nI think you’re doing great now as a Mother, and you’ve already shown that you’re a good Mother since you stayed weeks in the hospital and tried to keep Fighter inside as long as you could even though your condition was very bad already! So I and all your true readers know already what a good Mother you are and we’ll always support you! 🙂 I’m so happy that Fighter is okay and everything went good with giving birth to him considering your condition! I wish you and Fighter the best and the best recovery for you both! 🙂 XOXOXO!
Aww…good job Audrey, so brave! congratulations on your bundle of joy! =’) hopefully you’ll feel much much better soon and that Jude will grow stronger so that the 3 of you can go home! Sending you positive thoughts and love! xx n
Hi audrey, u are super strong mom! Pray u n fighter will be home soon safely, healthy n happy!
I was shaking so badly during my emergency c secthat thenurses thought Iwas shivering from thecold wtfnstay strong! I hope I didn’t offend you. Hope you both returnhome soon
I admire you being able this kind of situation so well. I don’t think I’m able to do it as good as you. You are really strong! Glad to hear that both you and fighter is doing well. Take care and rest well soon you will be able to bring fighter home tgt :))
Happy birthday, little munchkin :))nnAnd speedy recovery to Mama! (Hope they gave you one of those tummy binders which I find really helps with the pain from the C-scar.)
Bravo Mommy Audrey sudah naik pangkat! All the best to you, Tim and babyJude !
glad everything’s good now! speedy recovery yeah!! hugs!
Brave Mama, you are.nI faced complication while giving birth to my baby last year but just like you, we are proud to have strong baby fighters.nnHope you have speedy recover.n
Thanks for sharing, Man u went thru a lot. Glad you and Jude are safe!!!
Motherhood makes a woman stronger. You are a brave and strong mommy. And definitely gonna be the most awesome one too. Both you baby and you are fighters! Speedy recover to you and will be praying for fighter too.
really brave and strong! its actually quite a lot to go through and I hope you recover fastt and sweet to bring baby fighter back home
Hi Aud! Stay strong! I hope you and Fighter come out of the hospital healthily. Glad to know your spirits are up!
Really happy for you and Timothy!! So glad to know that Fighter is all good! I was once a premature baby too, and I hear so much on how small I was + staying in the incubator for a month hahah so now I really look up to my mum and thank God for her. She has to deal with high BP for her whole life just to give birth to me :/ I’m sure when Fighter is able to understand when he’s older, he will know how blessed he is to have such great parents&family! Best wishes and take care Audrey!
You are such a brave woman…to have gone through all these. Take good rest and hope both mummy and baby can go home in no time.
Wow!! I’m so sorry to read all these. But don’t give up!!! Premature at 7mths + and weight more than 1kg de prognosis is not grave! Stay strong!! Stay brave!!! nnGood things will happen to good people. nnwww.queenzbeez.blogspot.com
Glad all is well, stay strong and best wishes 🙂
lol! yea some mothers really think they are better and greater mums by breastfeeding their babies… and start to criticise mothers who dont… get so sick listening to all that nonsence.. who doesnt want to give their babies the best right.. sigh….. just hang on Audrey, do what u can and heal fast.. take care!
Please update more
Hi Audrey! Hope you and Fighter can get out of the hospital very soon and healthy! You struggled a lot but I believe that everything will turn out well, so don`t stress out and do what you think is better for yourself and Fighter (btw he looks very big for a premature baby…that`s good, isn`t it?).nnStay strong and don`t mind the negative comments people might give you…it`s your life so you take control of it and your decisions!nnKisses 🙂
Hi Audrey! I am so glad that everything went well. You will soon regain back ur figure back! Jude will be a healthy baby! Haters are gonna hate but the rest of us will still continue to support u! In your free time, you might want to watch a youtube channel called ‘Bumps along the way’.
Such a kancheong post!!! I am gripping my bed tightly! nnSo glad to hear how well Fighter is progressing… The name really works! :)) nnTo think I requested for Candy Crush lives from your mum on Monday somemore when she was probably sick with worry!
Hi Audrey! Congratulations to you and your family!! Glad to hear that your little one healthy and that your are doing well. Take care and have a speedy recovery!
Dear Audrey, Congratulations. nYou were so brave. Reading your words gave me such powerful sentiments.nI am so proud of you and I will appreciate and love my mum even more.nCheers to all mothers in the world.
Thank you for sharing this. You and your husband will be awesome parents! I honestly can’t wait for your future blogposts about your experiences with baby Jude! Till then, rest well Audrey.nnP/s Thanks to your husband for keeping us updated on you and baby Jude!
HAHAHAAA!! can start scolding people d! I like that spirit. But keep that spirit low for now… Jude boy~ stay healthy! Muackssss…
so good to know that fighter is fine!!! and also you of course~^^
You’re so strong, Audrey!nJust keep trucking along, you’re doing fine. 🙂
Hello! First things first, congrats on having Fighter! Anyways, just wanted to say that you’re an awesome mom already so screw those that act all high and mighty. I wish you all the best and get well soon! Cheers! And can’t wait to see more of Jude! 😀
Congrats!! It must be really tough to go through this ordeal. You are really strong! I wonder whether the nurses/docs had any problem putting those IV cannula in because you were so swollen? Must be super painful
Congratulations Audrey! You’ve done your best and I’m still praying for yours and your little bub’s speedy recovery. When this is over, you will look back and realize how this experience changed your life and made you strong as steel, you’ll be a Supermom! And thank you for sharing your experience, you have no idea how powerful it is.
Congratulations Audrey, you did a really awesome job bringing Fighter to this world, you are going to be an awesome mom bringing him up too, don’t let those insensitive remarks affect your BP ya. Take care..
Congrats Audrey! imma reader of urs frm Singapore and still cheering u on while looking at pics on ur instagram! ndon’t worry hotmama! my cousin and I r premature babies and We are both 21 this year growing extremely well! fighter gna be home with you and ur hubby really soon!
congratulations audrey! little fighter will make it through! 🙂
Congratulations and u are indeed so brave! Still praying for you and your little one, and ermagherd i so despise them breastfeeding evangelists too! Speedy recovery to you and jude!
Congrats! I’ve been a silent reader of yours for many years, but absolutely love reading your blog. Congrats again to you & Tim 🙂
Congratulations! You, Tim and Fighter made it through the worst. nHang in there and keep the faith. Prayers here from Manila. Stay strong. 🙂
Congratulations Audrey! Get well soon! I think you are the Real fighter and you and your baby will be spiffy in a jiffy!!:D