#audfit – Azorias A-line qipao
Happy Chinese New Year everyone!
Best wishes and happiness for you and your families this 2015. ^^
This year we’re spending Chinese New Year in KL. Normally we go back to Penang every year but this year we decided to stay in KL. Fighter was born at 31 weeks and today I’ve just hit 33 weeks (woohoo Bump you go girl!) so we thought it’s best to stay here near to our hospital and ob-gyn. (Ob-gyn also staying put for CNY but she insists she’s looking forward to the peace and quiet).
Quieter CNY but we’re not really alone! My parents are only going back to Penang tomorrow so we still got to see them for reunion lunch and on the first day. And Fatty’s uncles and grandma are in KL too so we’ve also been seeing them for dinner.
Anyway, thought I’d do a Bump update since Fighter is napping and Fatty is cycling wtf.
(picture is me eating ice cream wtf this stupid Bump!! Typical girl or what, I really really don’t like sweet food and dessert at all but she’s making me eat ice cream all the time!!! My favorite is hazelnut wtf so if anyone wants to buy me a present…. I crave it every day omg and doesn’t help that ice cream really makes my heartburn feel better. I swear Bump is the one making me bake too just so I can eat the fruits of my labor wtf.)
On the first day of CNY, I’m 33 weeks exactly!
But on to a serious issue.
My friend Jolene recently told me she lost her baby at 26 weeks gestation. T_________T
I was one of the first few people she confided in about her pregnancy cos we were pregnant at the same time – she was a few weeks behind me only. I was so happy for her and was having fun watching her go through all the new mommy experiences – reading up about pregnancies and babies and going baby shopping.
And then she messaged me two weeks ago and told me her baby had died. She’s a wonderful writer and wrote about her experience here.
I cried when she told me and cried more when I read her article. She’s one of Ooib’s closest girl friends and I’ve known her since primary school! And she’s the sweetest nicest girl ever – I felt so angry that it happened to her. Like why her when there are so many other worse people out there.
I cannot imagine what she went through and my utmost admiration for her cos I think she’s been so strong and handling it so well. I don’t know how I would handle it myself if that happened to me.
But I do think about it all the time.
At my last ob-gyn check, we found that Bump hasn’t been increasing in weight since two weeks ago. At 33 weeks she’s still 1.5 kg which is 5th percentile.
We’re going to keep close monitoring of her but it’s probably that the placenta isn’t working well again which is why she’s not receiving enough nutrients to grow.
And she was doing so well all this while! Always in the 50th percentile before this. 🙁
Even though my blood pressure is still within the normal range and I don’t really have protein in my urine, the fact that Bump isn’t growing well indicates my placenta maybe not working well, the same reason that is thought to have caused the preeclampsia with Fighter. T_______________T So we might very well see her within the next few weeks.
On the bright side, it solves the issue of whether to try for a natural vaginal birth or to do C section again. Doctor told me if this was confirm confirm my last baby, to just do a C section since my uterus, being a virgin in terms of labour, would probably be inexperienced and take a long time to give birth. Also there’s always the tiny risk of scar rupture.
But if I wanted the option of having another one later, trying for a natural birth this time would be better for future babies.
Honestly I couldn’t decide cos both also sound horrible to me wtf ya I know right it’s not even my first baby. -_- But last time I think I was just ignorant of everything and thus had no fear. Now I know what happens already and both child birth options scare the baby out of me hahahaha.
So the silver lining is the choice is taken out of my hands. :X
The downside is….. Bump may be a small baby cos of the restricted growth and may be premature too.
Frustrating because…. why my body got so many problems sustaining healthy babies full term. T________T What’s wrong with the placentas I make!!!!
Guilt because the least I can do is give my kids the best start in life – to let them begin life healthy and with the least amount of risk in developing health issues. And I’m struggling to even do that.
Which is why I don’t feel like having any more children. Why have them when I bring them into this world with a a potential physical disadvantage…. Doesn’t it seem like an irresponsible thing to do?
Anyway I’m monitoring her movements very very closely. The good thing is she’s a very kuai baby and moves all the time hehehe. So I’m always reassured cos she moves around so damn much. Even at times when I think she’s not moving, I poke my stomach and within a few seconds she’ll move again. ^^
So Imma just pray everything goes okay for the last stretch and that we’ll soon see Bump healthy and well. <3
Comments (23)
Bump is strong. Don’t worry! Although i’m not a mommy yet but i believe she will surpass all expectation and comes out healthy. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, Aud 🙂
I think you are a wonderful mom and the best for your babies. They could not have gotten a better mom. Just a few more weeks to go for Bump! She will be healthy and well, and will be another cutie to the Tiah family!
I rarely comment on any blog but this strikes a chord in my heart.
You’re a good mum and you’ve got such a wonderful family. Pls stay positive…your readers are sending positive thoughts and prayers for Bump as well.
Good girl, Bump! Stay healthy and we hope to see your beautiful little face when the time comes!
xoxo
I know you will do your outmost best, Aud! 🙂
You are a good person and a hardworking woman, so most probably you are a thoughtful and dedicated mother. I know your choice is well-balanced and well thought of. All I want you to know is we are here for you and we are constantly think of you and have been praying for your and your baby’s safekeeping
Don’t worry, Bump will definitely be a healthy and happy baby! 🙂
You’ll do fine Audrey. We are all looking forward to see Bump! Anyway your friend’s experience was a comfort for me. I had 2 miscarriages as well in the past 4 months but they were only 8 weeks old. Just like your friend, reasons were unknown. Reading her account made me recall so many familiar parts of my own MC. Thank you to Jolene. It’s a newfound strength we never knew we have to be going through such. I wish the best for her and for you too. 🙂
so much praise T___T thank you for your support and prayers 🙂
thank you! will do my best to stay positive hor
hehe thank you for your encouragement ahhh <3
hahaha you very confident in bump!
oh no sorry to hear that ida 🙁 i wish you all the best for your future pregnancies and hope to hear good news from you next time!
ahaha thank you i hope so!
Praying for you, Audrey! Your family gives me all the good feels all the time, wishing nothing but the best for Bump and your family!
Hi Audrey
Just to let you know that for my second pregnancy ( faternal twins) my boy was only 1.5kg at birth and from 3D scan we knew he did not grow much since week 33 ( his sister was 3kg at birth fhl) so even though he was born at 38 weeks but still very small . He was in NICE for 12days to keep him warm as well as to gain weight cos pd only allowed discharged when his weight hit 1.8kg. But…. now all is normal and good . He may be small frame but he is very healthy and fast learner .so dun worry too much ya..and dun blame yourself . All will be well . Will pray for you and bump
Audrey, I’m currently pregnant too and just have to comment on this post – you’d make a really really good Mommy! You already are, with Fighter and his birth, so hang in there ok? I’m anxiously waiting for my baby too and reading your updates somehow helps me a lot haha. All the best 🙂
All the best Aud for this pregnancy, I am sure this is going to be a good one for you! All our best wishes and prayers for healthy delivery and of course, a healthy baby!
ooh so his twin sister was 3kg while he was 1.5? is your daughter still bigger than your son? how old is he now? sorry a lot of questions hehehe
hehe thank you carmen!
Yes the sister was 3kg and him 1.5kg exactly twice of him. Now they are same height but my son is skinnier than his sister and he always in less than 5th percentile and we long used to it
Thanks for sharing your friend’s story. It’s exactly how i feel when i lose my baby at 8 weeks. It brings back all the memories when i miscarried naturally at home. Every horrible cramps and the thoughts of my own body expelling my baby is really torturing. I felt suicidal.
“My dad said something to me that made me cry very hard. He said maybe the baby knew something was wrong with himself and he made the decision to leave, not wanting to burden us. My heart hurt so bad thinking how a baby so tiny could be so kind.”
My mum said the same thing as above to me and it’s making me teared up as i typed. T_T
Aih…
All the best with your pregnancy, Aud. Fingers crossed Bump will get to 37 weeks, because babies at that age are considered full term. 3 more weeks to go then! I can totally relate to your friend’s sad miscarriage. I myself lost my first baby at 21 weeks gestation 4 years ago, and it still hurts till this day. Like your friend, I had a natural delivery. Even at 21 weeks, she looked like a fully formed baby, although really small. Doctors couldn’t determine the cause at all.
But I never gave up hope of having children of my own. Today, I am a mother to a 3.5 year old girl and and an 8-month old baby girl. Please tell your friend to not give up, and continue to have hope that one day she will be holding her own child in her arms. All the best to both of you!
Hi Suet Yin. Please read my story above (I am Ada). Don’t give up, okay. There is always something good that comes out of this kind of sadness. Good luck and stay strong.
From everything you’ve wrote – your thoughts, opinions and deeds, I doubt you are an irresponsible mother AT ALL! And it’s not your fault, it’s just how things are. You can’t change what you know but you can choose how you cope with the situation and the mentality/outlook you wish to have and pass on to your two kiddos. All the best with Bump and gambatte!!! Will definitely keep you and Bump in prayers – for your health and wellbeing as well as Bump’s!