Following up from my previous blog post on Panadol and “Unnecessary headaches parents face“, it occurred to me that parents are superheroes.  Now everyone knows that; it’s not a new revelation.  Moms and dads give things up for their children and put their kids on first priority.  If that’s not noble I don’t know what is.

But have you thought about the actual physical super powers a person develops once they become a parent?

Let me enlighten you.

Extra strong sphincter muscles

Your sphincter suddenly builds up overnight like Arnold Schwarzenegger and suddenly you’re holding your number twos in (or chopping them in half without further ado) like it’s your career.

All the useful to battle the dreaded Parent Toilet Curse – the curse that guarantees whenever you sit on the toilet for a number two there will come a scream from your offspring  that forces you to hold it in or finish up in 0.5 seconds and run out with pants around your ankles to fix whatever drama is happening.

I don’t know about you, but my sphincter muscle is practically ready for the Olympics, the amount of times I’ve had to run out of the toilet and tend to a screaming baby.

Ears like a bat 

It starts as soon as your child is born and I don’t think it ever goes away.  You suddenly develop the auditory talents of a bat and can hear your child’s cries even a mile away.  Supersonic bat hearing extends to even when you’re in deep sleep – the second your child cries, you’re wide awake and jumping out of bed to comfort the source.

However, sometimes this superpower can sometimes be overly sensitive, causing parents to tense up because they’ve confused another kid’s cry with their own child’s.  Or worse, hear your baby crying even when there’s no sound.

Movements at the speed of light 

Superheroes flash into action whenever a crime has occurred or someone calls for help.  Super Parents are no different.  The second they sense their child is in danger, an electrical current jolts through their body and they leap into action.  They can’t help it, it’s physiological. Lolol.

Very useful for times like when baby is falling off the bed.  Or reaching for a hot stove.  Once I woke up in the middle of the night (SuperParent sense tingling) and saw Fighter’s head dangling off the bed. O_O  Some more you know his head how heavy, it was only a matter of seconds before the rest of his body followed suite.

In a flash, my arm shot out and yanked him back to safety by the ankle.  And he continued sleeping through it all. -__-

Another time, Fighter actually fell off the bed. I woke up to the screaming with cold terror in my heard and couldn’t see him anywhere.   I leaped up and ran around our king sized bed in less than a second I kid you not and picked him up and cuddled him back into bed. I was pretty amazed at my own speed, to tell you the truth.

Ninja skills up

Under normal circumstances you may be an elephant clomping around the room but enough times of your kid waking up after hours of rocking him or her and then finally putting them down and closing their room door a bit too loudly will change that.

One day you’ll be so adept at sneaking out of your kids’ room in total silence that congratulations! You’re ready to apply to be a member of the Society of Ninjas (must be one somewhere in the world)!  You’ll also memorize which door creaks, how to turn the doorknob a certain way so it doesn’t squeak and you also learn how to lip read cos all your nightly TV shows will now be on mute.

Human garbage disposal system

Diet be damned!  As a parent, your stomach is now ready for ANYTHING.  Anything your fussy kid rejects or leaves unfinished, you’ll end up eating so as not to waste food.

Congratulations! You are now a walking talking human garbage disposal system.

A very strong heart

The most important superpower a parent possesses – a strong heart.  A heart that can take a beating from now until forever but will never be beaten down.

This heart will melt when your baby is placed in your arms for the very first time.  But it will be filled with love for your child.  You may think it may burst, so full it feels but it won’t.

Your child essentially holds your heart in their hands and at times they might even break it.  But a parent’s heart is resilient and it will always heal and it will never stop being filled with love and tenderness for their children.

Yes parents are superheroes (not saying that because I’m one now ahaha).  But I now realize how strong and amazing my parents are, now that I’m one myself and I do see the changes in me and Fatty since we became a mommy and daddy to Fighter and Penny.

P/S: Superheroes don’t get annual leave or MCs yo.  So imake sure your superhero powers are not affected when you’re sick with a Panadol!  When pain goes away, life takes its place.