I am out! In Taipei, to be exact.

Some Audfit shots first because I haven’t had the luxury of taking them for fun for so long!

Not my normal style but thought I’d try something new!  Blue slip dress is from Young Hungry Free.

Fatty is here on business and I decided to follow him for a break.  Win win cos with me around, he won’t be so homesick, and I wanted to get away for a while after last week’s meltdown.

(But then the last two days before we came, the two critters suddenly about faced and behaved like angels. -_- Fighter was very sweet and manja, and Penny started becoming super smiley omg.  Even during her night feeds, she’d open her eyes and smile like I was the best thing she ever laid eyes on wtf.

These guys really know how to manipulate my heart wtf.)

Anyway.  Weirdly, the one thing I was really looking forward to for this trip was sitting in a plane with no baby on my lap WTF. Hahahaha oh how my standards of a relaxing holiday have changed.

I settled into my seat and buckled my seatbelt without waiting for an infant belt.  I pulled down the shutters and took a nice two hour nap.

After I woke up, I was served lunch and I ate. Leisurely! While reading my Kindle! With nobody to tussle with, or feed or scold for making a mess.

And then I decided to listen to some music over the flight entertainment system.

Don’t count car radio but it’s been years since I last just sat down and listened to music.  With a good book no less.  I’d forgotten that I actually like music!  I’d forgotten all these songs I was listening to now because my days are filled with nursery rhymes, or no music at all.

It felt so amazing to be listening to all these long lost, loved tunes!  Granted my taste by today’s standards is supremely uncool la cos I only like super oldies from the 60s and 70s and showtunes wtf.

Then I started worrying what if I’m not cultivating musical inclination and culture into Fighter and Penny cos we don’t turn on music at home wtf.  When I was a kid my parents would always have a tape on especially on road trips and I grew up listening to their music (which probably explains my musical tastes wtf)

But I’m digressing.

There were so many things on the trip that came back to me.

I remembered how much I miss listening to music.

I remembered I actually had favorite songs and artistes.

I remembered what a luxury it is to be able to order food without worrying if Fighter could eat it too.

I remembered what it feels like to wake up, then snuggle back down to sleep again with no babies around to care for.

I remembered how nice it is to be able to sit down and read for as long as I want.  And to do anything else at leisure!

To leisurely do my makeup and then take selfies hahaahah.

To take walks and browse in shops without heaving a toddler or baby on my hip, and to stay out without checking the clock for bedtime.  (Although not to say stay out very long also la cos we’re old now wtf)

I’d forgotten that I like meeting Fatty’s business associates.  And sitting in on meetings and learning new things.

I’d forgotten how nice it is to talk to adults about non-kid topics.

I remembered all this after so long.  In the day to day of being as good a mom as I can, I’d forgotten other parts of myself.  Being a mom is now my identity, but it should not be my only identity.

I was looking forward to this trip as a way to relax but it gave me more than that.  It gave me the reminder to hold on to the rest of myself.  I am a mom primarily but I am also a person with interests, opinions and hopes.  For the sake of myself and my family, I should not forget that.