Penny is fifteen months old and not to sound braggy or anything but she’s been a fully breastfed baby.

Really nothing to hao lian about!  I’ve always been lucky with milk production and I didn’t have to work very hard to maintain my supply.  Also for selfish reasons, I persevered in breastfeeding cos it burns calories lolol.

So really, it’s a matter of me and Penny’s interests being aligned. ^^ But no la I am really glad we made it this far.

When I went to Croatia though I thought it might be a good time to wean.  I mean she’s already fifteen months which is three months past what Fighter had, and my milk supply was finally dwindling (cos I suddenly started getting one cracked nip so I stopped feeding from there and it just plummeted wtf).  I also didn’t really want to bring a pump to Croatia with me, and I didn’t want her to get too used to feeding cos it’d be harder to wean later; now whenever she sits on my lap she tries to pull up my shirt wtf.

So I didn’t bring my pump to Croatia.  My supply was already pretty low so it took me two days to get engorged!  I couldn’t take it though, and hand expressed much to the amazement of Wendy who was my roommate hahahaha.

And every few days I would hand express all throughout the trip.  Just to get rid of the annoying full feeling.

When I came home, I realized I still had milk!

So when she stirred at midnight, I eagerly picked her up to nurse.  Even though I planned to wean her, I couldn’t resist hugging her and feeding her… just a while more hehehe.  Breastfeeding may be a pain – pumping, waking up every 2-3 hours, cracked nips, but a little pain makes everything else seem sweeter wtf.  I don’t actually know what I like la – the bonding? Or the satisfied feeling I get when my boobs get drained wtf.

But we don’t plan on more kids at the moment and I knew I would miss this.  So I wanted to prolong it a little longer.

I picked her up and held her to my chest.  Instead of nuzzling and honing in on my boobs, she just lazily stretched wtf.

I directed her gently to her target.  She opened her mouth, then she closed it again wtf.  I pushed my nip to her again.  She opened her mouth, then turned away with her eyes shut.

OMG SHE HAS FORGOTTEN HOW TO NURSE. IN JUST A WEEK.

Wah lau this bottle can really spoil market lo wtf.

So there ends my breastfeeding journey. T_________T

I know I know I planned to wean already so this is really my objective achieved.  But I am still feeling a little grief.  That an era is over.

That I would never have the means to nourish her again.  That she won’t wake up in the middle of the night with her arms up for me, and melt into my hug like I’m the best shizzle ever.  That it won’t just be me and her snuggling in a quiet room.  That now I have to buy milk powder HAHAHA.

Thank you boobs for bringing me and Mochi this far.  Maybe next time I’ll give you a lift job. HAHAHAHA.