I took some time wondering if I should post this up.
This is the video that made up my mind for me, that asserted the fear that we have no future in this country and the decision to move out.
A year or so ago, I once told Tim that somewhere in the future I would like to move out of the country — to Singapore for instance.
He protested saying that this is home. Malaysia is where his parents live and where mine live. And it’s true. Instead of staying on in London like many of his peers, after he graduated, he chose to come home.
But what is home? Home is a place where you belong. According to the man in the video above, in his tone and more, this is not our home.
And so Tim started considering Singapore as a serious option to live in in the future.
Every time he talked about Singapore or every time we were in Singapore, my heart would clench just a little bit. Singapore is beautiful, organized, cosmopolitan. But did I really want to leave this messy, chaotic, heartwarming, low speed broadband nation where you live in danger of getting your bag snatched, for someone else’s beautiful sterile country?
I said I would but deep down I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to give up ordering kai fan in Cantonese in KL only to switch to Hokkien if we drove north for three hours. I didn’t want to give up hearing the ubiquitous Malaysian accent which nobody in the world has, including the Singaporeans. That said, I don’t want to give up switching languages without giving it a thought. Even something like bribes to get out of trouble. Telling my American friends about how I bribed to pass my driving test always made me laugh to see the dismay on their faces and it’s definitely not something to be condoned but that’s what makes us us.
If the people in power today were the brain of Malaysia and the country itself is the body, we, the raykat are the heart. And if the brain keeps pushing its body in all the wrong directions, sooner or later the heart is going to stop beating.
Two years ago I wrote this blog entry. Reading about people calling us ‘pendatang’ made me struggle not to cry then as I struggle not to now. I was sad but I was also hopeful. I half wished I was Prime Minister and I had a whole list of things I wanted to mend.
I applaud what certain parties are doing to try to steer us back on track. I know that young graduates like me are urged to come back and not leave the country to idiots like Ibrahim Ali and the entire MCA wtf. And I would in a jiffy if I thought it would help.
But right now I don’t believe we can do it. I want so badly to see hope but I believe that the people running our country now will cause us to fail and I believe that is the right and inevitable thing to happen. I believe that sometimes you have to be pushed far enough under for you to learn your lesson and for your rotting wooden house to collapse around you before you can reconstruct it with new polished timber.
This is where I grew up. This is where I ran or run across the street illegally because nobody waits for traffic lights. This is where I bought aiskrim potong the uncle pulls out from the metal box attached to his motorcycle. This is where I learned Malay from scratch to an A1 in SPM. This is where from after completing my secondary education my parents sent me away for university.
And this is where from I will leave again. I don’t know when, I don’t know where. I don’t even know if I will end up leaving. And I definitely don’t know if it’s wrong or right. But right now this is what I feel.
Quote Malaysia Today:
The Department of Statistics reports that in 2007, 80 per cent of Malaysia’s workforce received education only up to Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM). And in 2008 some 350,000 Malaysians were working abroad, over half of which had tertiary education.
Please can’t you change our minds about moving abroad?
***Apologies if this offends anyone. This is merely an opinion piece of an idealistic ignorant person.
(And I would like to add that I love Malaysia and its people. Just not the government wtf. And any racist or seditious comments will be deleted wtf)
Comments (97)
I’m a Singaporean and my parents want to move over to Malaysia and i’m screaming NOOO cos of the very things you mentioned. It just urks me how a simple thing like taking a taxi.. you have to pay what they ask you at the end of the journey or you might be in deep trouble. and that being a Muslim country, it’s the very muslims who are taking bribes. (I’m a Muslim myself so i dont understand how this people sleep at night!) makes my hair stand on ends. in singapore, if a cab driver even dares asking for ten cents extra, he’d be on the front page the next day. Just do what you think will be best for you. Singapore is a much safer place -although it’s undoubtedly very expensive to live in.
And i second that your government is horrible): Calling the non-malays immigrants is just outrageous. If not for the indians and chinese in Malaysia, i dare say Malaysia would be nowhere near it is today.
I totally agree with you on this! Like this post, a lot. 😀
ps: I actually shared this video on my facebook. 😉
I hear you, Audrey!!!
I had just completed SPM the year my family had to move to live abroad (…in the city which is your Angela’s home base ha!). I had barely felt the effect of M’sian governance then, but my parents had (after decades of experience in the workforce) and they decided that moving was the best thing they’ve done for my family…
heck, I would still want to come back to M’sia whenever I can because I left behind so many friends and memories here…
Such a sad post Aud! But I’m still happy to hear that you and Tim might be coming to stay in SG!!
Come come will never get robbed I never ever lock my house door!
Can stay here and still go back every weekend if you like. Best of both worlds!
And who is the dude saying “don’t talk shit”?? How can someone so uncivilized be politician?? Mad shocked beyond words.
See you on the 6th @ 11.30pm!! 😀
nahh don’t worry, bigots like him are natural in a multiracial country like ours.
audrey I understand what you feel, becayse I too feel the same way. I am adamant in returning and staying permanently in Malaysia unless my life is threatened then I may decide to migrate to another country, but that would be a hard and painful decision.
despite the disappointing and if i may say biased and ignorant remarks of certain people, I still have hope for Malaysia. because I believe that as long as I think and act in a manner true to my feelings, people will understand one day.
and the malays are technically not the actual indigenous people or malaysia, but the orang asli and other indigenous minorities are. And truth be told, the concept of being the “true owners” of the country should be those who are Malaysians and consider themselves Malaysians irregardless of race.
And audrey, lipman spoke so well of you when I met him in his office a few weeks ago. he said that you were a very different and remarkable student, hope that makes you feel better =)
oh and audrey,
not all hope is lost.. I passed my driving test without duit kopi because my driving teacher was against it and he believed that as long as you can do it, you can pass. which I did on the first try.
life isn’t fair anywhere in the world, but malaysia makes it completely hopeless.
people who never live overseas won’t know what’s the real problem, because 1) they just don’t feel it – they know what’s bad, but they don’t know what’s really bad 2) they get used to it – the what-can-you-do/life-is-like-this mentality
people who currently live in overseas also don’t know what’s the real problem, because 1) they only come back for a short period 2) what they miss is only the weather, food, what else? hence what do you really know?
ask those who went overseas and lived there for awhile, all of a sudden decided to come back because this is their home (apparently not to some group of people), what’s the real struggles? not only all those surface problems. how about the mental, emotional and spiritual problems?
this country is sick. people should wake up.
yes, there’s discrimination everywhere in the world. but what have the people in this country done towards it? i think most of you are angry but don’t even have the guts the show it.
I have the same dilemma as you do.
Having been abroad for a decade, I totally cannot adjust my way back here.
I want to re-move overseas too. But just don’t know where, don’t know when, and don’t even know if I eventually will.
I hate this – being in my home country but still be treated like an outsider. It’s better being in overseas, as I’m already a foreigner, but at least I’m treated with the least dignity that a human being should have.
So you’re going to run away crying when bullied upon? You writing got me feeling both disappointed and sad. Disappointed because as much as i hate it, you seem to represent the majority of how our young folks think and feel. That it, to evade when pressured. To take the easy way our and run the moment some idiot provokes you. To wash your hands off responsibility by whining how MCA is not fighting for our rights. How are we taught to deal to bullies? To stand up to them. To defend our rights. To stand our ground. Will you stop loving your parents if i were to come to your house and say you’re not welcomed to stay in your house? Will you move out if i were to come and tell you you are not pretty enough for Tim? Of course not!
We have grown complacent. Grown irresponsible. We blame others when things go wrong. Just like we blame MCA. What we should do is take responsibility. Stand up. Be heard. Do something to correct the wrong. You have the priviledge of having a wide audience. You can make a difference. The only thing stopping you is whether or not you want to. Lets take little steps to make that bit of change. Changing mindsets is very difficult. But we have to start somewhere. Less we give up on our homes. But do we want to give up? Give up to bullies? What does that make us?
If I got money har, I will go away one. Now I am asking help from a few of my good friends, they promised me to get me a ticket outta here. So far, no news yet. Have to be patient and wait lor.
M,T and DMC, if you’re reading this, fuck man, quick la!!!!
hi, been reading u every now and then. i totally can identify with what u wrote…i think most people can. most countries are moving forward but ours seems to regress, really hard to see what future it has. i have stayed outside the country most of my life; every country that I have lived in treat the minority better than malaysia, at least they do not implement/institutionalized blatant discrimination. if the guy in the video represents those of the majority race, then i am really speechless.
*hugs* I totally feel your sentiment, but I have just this short thing to say.
Let us not say “can’t you change our minds on moving abroad” but rather, the decision should be ours. In the future, this country is left to us, it’s an impossibly uphill climb. And we may be left with a burnt down rumah atap, but let us say then that it’d be us who fight to build that brand new house we can proud of for OUR next generation.
I truly believe there are more people than we think who share our sentiments. =) We just need to keep fighting for our voices, be it in discovering them, or making them heard.
I’ve left the country, but never really understood the reason of my dad sending us here…
well, now I know.
All you chinese Malaysian.. there’s absolutely no point of staying there any longer. I mean…
well it’s a good place and all..
I return back every year for vacation
BUT
government’s crap
Anyone heard me?
Government crap and if that’s the guy incharge of the goverment in Malaysia…
well thanks alot of setting a standard and an awesome role model to the rest of the country. It’ll..
just make people like me look down on the government system even more.
Yes. I am passionate about this…
Malaysia is meant to be a multicultural country.. Malays, Indians, Chinese are ALL awesome but this shit that the guy just pulled off.
It’s RIDICULOUS and SHIT.
he’s embarrasing himself and the whole of Malaysia.
GREAT WORK FAT CHUBBY GUY WITH NO BRAINS
oh come on guys. at least we are not at war and facing extreme poverty like other countries.
and u r only comparing to SG being the closest and smallest in SEA?
u’d rather being treated as 2nd class citizen at other countries?
this is the place u called home. like it or not.
I have no doubt bout what you said bout Malaysia but if everyone of us starts giving up hope and leave, we are already on the way of giving up. What our country need more than ever now is for young adults like us to stay, vote and fight for a change. If everyone starts running away, then of course we will loose everything and this is what the government is hoping for. Why help them make their dreams come true? Leaving is taking the easy way out. Our country needs more people like you. People read your blog so you are influential :), we need voices like yours. Keep up the good work Audrey, love your blog.
stay in the country and create the changes you want to see at home… sounds like an Aung San Suu Kyi story!
well honey! I’m a malaysian,21 year old , singapore PR is hard to pass driving test here(singapore) !! most of my gfs and bfs took 3 to 4 times to passed !! LOL
All we ask is for an equal playing field free of corruption.
I totally agree with you on the last bit – I love Malaysia and its people, just not the government. I feel what your saying, sometimes I have the urge of calling all Chinese and Indians to leave the country and see if we are so insignificant as they say we are. Also provided if I have the power. However, as hopeless as it may seem to be, I still try to hope and believe one day, together, we can make a difference but I do struggle to keep hoping and believing. I think you’re going throught the same phrase as I am. =)
Tiny audrey, we can do it!!! I came back after 8 years in the states to help do it! Turning ur back will be too weak, too easy. PERKOSA was formed to exactly stir hatred like this. Its not the real voice of the nation it claims to represent.
start by voting off the ruling party
wow… i’ve never known of such issues in Malaysia. I’m a bruneian =) and who is the man who said ‘don’t talk shit like that’?!? quite surprising as he seems to be of high authority.
I love this entry. It is so true that Msia is no longer a safe country to live in. PM Lee Kuan Yew once said that our country will end up like indonesia in another 10 years time or worse whereby malays will rule the place (worst than now, no racist pun intended) and other races will be ‘push’ out from the country etc. I even considered having my kids be borned in Singapore or Aus. IS it that bad? Yes its really bad despite the loving Msia food, culture, people, racism that we all love and hate at the same time.
Spot on.
“Well said”
I rather stay idealistic if being down-to-earth meant being treated as a foreigner in a place I called ‘home’.
CHECK YOU FB /BOO
i’m going home 🙂 currently i’m at the prettiest, most beautiful place but this is not home. home is where my family is. to be honest, if they were to be here with me, or anywhere for that matter, i wouldn’t have thought to go back to malaysia. but they’re not.so.i’m going back malaysia, going back home 🙂 and while i’m at it, i’ll try make a change 🙂
‘my home is not a place, it it people’ – lois mcmaster bujold.
Don’t be fooled by the detractors Aud. Just because they can’t leave doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the opportunity to make a better life for yourself. You have the right to live a happy life. Moving away is not running away. Don’t for a second think that moving away is easy. It’s actually easier to stay. So ppl can’t call it running away. You think other countries will welcome you with open arms? Pfffft… You gotta go for visa interviews, learn their culture, accent, let’s not forget the extreme money conversion and of course friends and family left behind. Right now life is giving you lemons. Ask yourself what you want to do with it.
Moving away isn’t going to help make things any better for the country. If everyone is Malaysian Chinese and Malaysian Indian move out of the country, Malaysia wouldn’t even be Malaysia anymore. Even though I agree with Audrey and many others, I don’t think moving away just because the government is crappy is ever going to change.
I’m selfish. I moved out because I want what’s best for myself. I admit 😀
The only solution to these dilemma
is to sent a strong message through
the ballot box for a change of
government for a better tomorrow. The future generation will thank you all for this.
Hi Audrey
Well, I left Malaysia after STPM to study in Singapore because I thought it’s a better place and I had enough of racism ever since darjah satu! My written Malay is better than most Malays who can’t score A1 in STPM. Most of them can’t make it into universities without ‘Matriculation’. But, our fathers ( I do mean our biological dads) funded them to study in Malaysian Unis instead, by paying tax to the government. Here in Singapore, I miss Malaysia. More like, I miss my hometown. I miss part of the Malaysian culture I grew up with, like you do. I miss the food, shopping and people there. But what I cannot see happen is me working in Malaysia. It just wouldn’t happen unless we have a new government where they do not restrict the PM to be a ‘bumiputra’. What nonsense! And a lot more, mostly cowpoo I studied in Pengajian Am. Oh well, I still <3 Msia. I love going back, but if I stay there for too long, I just can’t take the nonsensicals from the government.
i pretty much feels the same way too. actually i don’t get the point, isn’t this country is famous of different races and religion living together in a same country ?.. thats what makes Malaysia special right ?
i started tearing a little when i read ur post~ clicked *like* i mean seriously i claim myself patriotic not because i’m so 1malaysia or suppport what gov keeep giving those GREAT IDEAs… but… yay.. i guess it’s our turn to make MALAYSIA a place call home.. and i think chinese can be PM.. if we got enough votes rite.. correct me if i’m wrong.. lolxx
get out while you can. as soon as i saw that clip (dad sent it to me) i knew that hell hole we used to call home is never going to change. it’ll take WWIII to change that place. like i’ve always said every august 31st: the biggest mistake the malaysian government could have done was to kick out the brits. long live the queen.
oh and in reply to “saya anak malaysia” (post 65), yes i’d rather be a second class citizen in a different country. at least now im not a target of racist attacks, and im given equal treatment. heck, even before i got my citizenship in nz i got better treatment than when i was a “citizen” in malaysia. dont mean to burst anyone’s bubble, but that place isnt going to change. if it really wanted to, it would have a LONG time ago.
LOL I somehow find the eloquence of the first guy quite amusing.
I’m lucky enough to go abroad and will eventually be settling down here. Do I see it as a sort of betrayal to my homecountry? No, I’m simply doing what is best for me and living a better life. Can I do my part or more as a citizen, even from abroad? Why not? With more opportunities, resources and armed with the experiences that I had gained from life abroad, academically or personally, I could provide more help. I’m planning to open an architectural firm after my studies and will eventually set up another in Malaysia, which could create employment and charity programmes. So yeah, do what’s best for you and you’ll find a way to contribute. Political means isn’t the only way.
And have hope Audrey, always have hope.
I’m still proud to be Malaysian. Malaysia is my country and home. Don’t give up Audrey.
You don’t even like chicken rice. :p
We all feel the same. Good on you girl for having the courage to speak out! 😉
I’m sorry to hear you feel this way Audrey. I’ve followed your postings now and then, and of all your entries, I loved the one you wrote 2 years ago, the same old entry you have linked to in this post.
Just do what you think is right. But whatever it is, never give up your citizenship.
To quote my father, ‘You must never regret who you are.’
this is also my first time entering a comment, after an on-off of following your blog.
I have to say, thumbs up for speaking out about this as I am sure many of us ‘minorities’ feel the same way as you do. There’s is not excuse for how the government is treating us.
However, as a student, studying in a private university, the only thing i can gripe about is how private U’s facilities can never beat those government funded. But as a daughter seeing her father work his ass off, in a company ruled by the majorities and not getting any sort of compensation, ticks me off.
M’sia has never been or will be 1Malaysia, especially after all incidents of these sorts during the past few years.
Hey Audrey, I hear you. Singapore is not too far a country so it’s still worth considering.
As for me, I have decided to call Australia my home. It is easier for me since most of my friends and family are here in Australia and no longer in Malaysia.
As with you, I love Malaysia, but the government is despicable. What’s worse is that in my honest opinion, neither Barisan Nasional nor Pakatan Rakyat are fit to govern – they are both corrupt and backwards (think of Anwar back when he was still in UMNO, he hasn’t changed).
My opinion is that the country will change in time as the older generation of leaders die out and make room for a younger generation. Given time, Malaysia will change. But for me, change is taking for too long.
I believe Malaysia will change the day race politics are done with, when UMNO, MIC and MCA will just fall under one banner, that Malay politicians will look out for the interests of their Chinese constituents, and likewise… and when race or religion is no longer recorded on any documentations – that we are all one.
I don’t see there is a point to argue here, migration is in our blood, look at ancestor of human race, does moving to elsewhere mean we are betraying our country ? for me, being patriotic isn’t as important as we holding up our role as the citizen of this earth, home is just a place we feel where we can get this sense of belonging. and this planet is our home, neither it’s not determined by those history boundary and certainly nor monkeys who claimed the tree belong to them just simply because they got to it first, and now there are a few ugly one think they can stay up there in their whole life and drop a few leftover to those left behind and thought it a act of mercy, how naive ……
and tell those below “we have sacrificed a lot for u down there”
we make a place called home, a country does not make home for us.
Thank you for creating this forum. Opportunity comes to those who grab it. As a malay, i think the majority of the top 40 millionaires in Malaysia is chinese. They are the forefront of the malaysian business. As them, whether they are happy or not. I’m sure they r happy. Chinese can’t regret this. Whoever work hard, they earn it. Do you think the malays are spoonfeed? No, they have to struggle too. Even me. Everybody have to work hard. Everybody have to take risks.
I would like to ask. Who have the biggest share in major towns or cities, in terms of buildings, assets etc. Again the answer is Chinese. And in most cases, the malays are just the audience. Its right, the malays are getting a little more prerogative in this country. Its fair for any country to preserve its own people (origin) but believe me, the malays are already beginning to lose what he/she has due to the competition.
To members of this forum, dont feel being distracted by politicicians etc. Whether they exists or not, the most important thing is you to decide your future, not them. To live together harmoniously (and be happy here) or to hurt and blame each other. Your choice.
Audrey, I’ve been a silent reader, dropping by occasionally to admire your pretty ways of life and witty posts. Today, I came across your post on this issue of our country, which compelled me to respond. I totally agree and support you on everything you’ve raised in this blog post. I am studying in Melbourne now and everyone, from my parents to their friends to people from work all tell me to stay in Melbourne after completing Masters. “Go overseas! Don’t come back here! It’s very bad!” But… My heart tells me to go home. I’m still thinking about it…
I’ve been living in the US for 10 years now and I’m not planning to come back. The question for me was do I want to be discriminated by some of the citizens here or do I want to be discriminated by the government.
malaysia is a the best country where u can find all types of food.but when it come to politics, it always make me feel like going away from here.