I’m sure everyone knows who Miss Malaysia is right?

I opened the papers this afternoon and saw a gigantic photo of her in a bikini.

I wanted to cover my face and weep.

Did you see her thunder thighs? The lapisan berminyak at her waist? Everybody in my family is very disgusted by it.

I really don’t understand how she managed to win Miss Malaysia. Which part of her qualifies as a Miss Malaysia? Her thighs? Her ass? Fine, you have to admit that she is quite pretty. But is she beauty queen standard? NO. I heard that Miss Penang was actually the favorite to win, winning 5 of those titles like Ms Photogenic, Ms Body Beautiful, etc.

But! On the final day, Andrea Fonseka was the one who walked off with the main title. So why does this happen? Hmm, this reeks of a conspiracy. Daddy Ooi and Leslie Cheung auntie’s theory is that she got the title because her mother who was Miss Malaysia last time probably has connections and therefore pulled strings to get her chubby daughter to win.

What’s that, you say? Maybe she won because she’s very articulate and could answer the questions really well? Yes, that may be so, but that is not the only criteria to win Miss Malaysia! I also can answer questions what and I can speak English properly! Does that mean I should win Miss Malaysia? NO. (But my waist and ass is nicer, not to mention my boobs like that also I have more cleavage than her! So hmm, maybe I should). If she is so smart, let her go and join Mensa and show off her IQ and speech there la!

This is a disgrace! How can they ask her to represent Malaysia? The papers stated before that she used to have low self esteem about her looks as a teenager. So? Is that why her mother made her get Miss Malaysia so she can feel she’s the most beautiful woman in Malaysia? What a crap reason. I had low self esteem too, as did every other teenage girl in the world!

Her body shape is like a tree trunk. A 100 year old oak tree trunk. She has no waist for god’s sake! Oh I just caught the repeat of Miss Universe on Star World. She didn’t even make it past the first cut. Btw, Australia won for those who are interested.

Quotes from the truthful Ooi family:

Daddy Ooi: Eh Audrey! Her stomach is bigger than yours! (gets zapped with a laser stare from Aud)

Daddy Ooi (while watching Ms Universe): “Toh pui poh boh thaan liao” (translation: the fat woman didn’t get in). And…
“You notice ar all the skinny ones are from first world countries, and the fat one is from the Third
World country! Why, too much lactogen ar?”

Aud: “I think if she gets Miss Universe ar, the newspapers wanna print her photo also have to make it double spread.”

Daddy Ooi: “Ya, and that’s only to cover her face.”