I’m freaking exhausted. I’m in the midst of staring at lists of course information and schedules, trying to synchronize everything to register for my courses, which btw I am extremely late for.
I am sure, seeing that Mount Holyoke seems to be full of extremely efficient over-achievers, all the classes that I want to sign up for will already be full by now.
Dammit.
Orang Melbourne has returned from Melbourne. When he came to pick me up today, it was like he never went off at all. Everything went damn comfortably between us, as though I just didn’t see him for some time but he was in Malaysia all the while. Don’t really know how to explain it. But everything was okay lah.
Let me take that back. Everything went fine until LUNCH. Then I happened to mention a tiny little place called Bangsar, and thar she blows. (Or he, in this case).
I lost my appetite. Especially when he fixed me with The Look (its a mixture of hurt and at the same time as tho taunting me to answer), which is something he always gives me when we fight.
And then, earlier this evening, he SMS-ed me saying that he knows that I went clubbing last week. Then when I called him up demanding an explaination, he said he heard someone say I went to Atmos last week.
WTF??!
Let me clarify things a little. First of all, I am the Geek. I have not been clubbing since New Year’s. And second of all, Audrey the Geek has never stepped into Atmos her entire life! Thirdly, what is it to him whether I go clubbing or not?
I have a boyfriend that is not a boyfriend.
I know I said I wanted a boyfriend but not this kind!
This person does not come with the perks that a boyfriend provides, such as flowers on my birthday or “I love yous” over the phone. Instead, what he gives is:
1. The Look
2. Choking feeling when he gives me The Look
3. Possesiveness
4. Nagging
Why me?! He could be the clone of a certain friend’s bf I know from UK in terms of the above! (I have a theory that it’s in the stars since they were born on the same day). But at least that person has official status! Let me tell you that this one definitely does not.
So why does he still have a hold on me? Why am I extra soft-hearted with him? Why do I get irritated beyond belief whenever we fight? Which is a lot. And always over the same thing.
I feel like strangling him, really I do.
KNM.
