Know what I hate more than anything else in the world?
People who break promises.
And people who fong fei kei or are more than 10 minutes late.
When I was younger, people who broke their promises to me caused me to produce tears out of anger and have problems such as constipation.
Now, at age 19, it does not seem to have improved.
Now at age 19, people who break promises make me bad mood for the entire day and have problems such as diarrhea.
Why, just today someone pissed me off so badly that I had to shit TWICE in a morning!
Urghhh!! @#*&%!!!
This is wreaking havoc on my bowels!!!
People who break promises have caused, no, forced (I digress, I dunno what is the HTLM for cancelled words) me to:
– have a permanent frown on my face
– get diarrhea
– change into my pajamas 5 hours earlier just to spite them, cutting off my own nose at the same time
– speak Hokkien to old ladies whom I don’t know!
People who break promises should not be allowed to:
– eat other people’s (especially those who they bersalah to) Japanese rice
– try to make people laugh so we will forget what they did to us
– repair their laptops at people’s houses
– have good sex ever again
Kill! Kill! Kill!
Of course I’m kidding. There’s no need for anyone to die. Just to feed me peeled grapes and scrub the dry skin off the soles of my feet while humming the Rubber Ducky song.
::Because I got new photos of myself, I have to show it to you. This is me and my most kam cheng friend in the Amex office, Ji-ann::
::And this is an example of how useful we actually are in the office. I did both sets of our nails! Mine’s the cow print and her’s is the leopard::
Few months back, me and this Ji-Ann went shopping in Sungei Wang.
And Ji-Ann, frequent clubber and abit psycho that she is, decided that she wanted to buy….
silicone-like sticky cups that looks like implants, which you stick to your boobs instead or wearing a strapless bra.
We walked in a damn cool way into Sasa.
We darted into the sticky bra-cup thing section.
The salesgirl in Sasa shouted, “HELLO! HOW MAY I HELP YOU? MIGHT YOU BE LOOKING FOR A NICE STICKY BRA-CUP THING?”
(All in Cantonese, of course to ensure that the entire customer population of Sg Wang would understand, with the possible exception of overweight ang mohs.)
We said yes in pure shame and she proceeded to demonstrate the use of the sticky bra-cup thing.
Not on herself you perverts!! She just took it out of the box and showed us how sticky the cups were. All for only RM199!
It was sticky all right.
It stuck right to my finger as a curious boyfriend temaning his gf stared strangely at two idiots holding breast implants in the middle of the shop.
It stuck to my hand as I discreetly tried to shake it off. Where is that fcuking salesgirl now when we need her? I thought furiously.
Finally, the breast implant came unstuck!
And it fell onto the floor and stuck to the tiles.
When the salesgirl finally succeeded in scraping the fake boob off the floor, there were grains of sand and dust stuck to it.
To save our souls and dignity, Ji-Ann bought a pair of fake breasts from them. All for only RM199!
But she wanted to buy it anyway! It’s not so bad.
I’m sure she’s perfectly satisfied with her purchase and possibly won’t go clubbing without it.
“Ji-Ann! What’s that skin-colored rubbery silicone thing that fell from your dress and is now stuck to your knee?”
“Oh, that’s just my brooch”.
