Is it my imagination or are middle school/early secondary school kids getting too grown up for their own good these days?At the mall today with Yen, I realised that we were surrounded by middle schoolers dressed like college students, but better.

AND I LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE ONE OF THEM!

This is also partly due to the fact that I have turned into a hobo/bum and only wear jeans, tshirts and hoodies.

They are actually better dressed than me with their oh-so-plucked eyebrows, Abercrombie tops, nose studs and act-adult Coach handbags.

Do we detect a hint of jealousy here, boys and girls?

Yes, it’s because the only handbags Mummy Ooi would buy me at age 14 were those from Petaling Street with the words “Nike Must Do it” embroidered on it.

Because at age 14, I had purple (in effort to be cool, referred to it as lilac) metal framed glasses, was still four feet nine, weighed probably 30 kg, a gap between my front teeth, wore carrot cut BOM Equipment jeans and had no need to wear a bra (though I wore a training one religiously).

Let me show you this picture again. At age 14 there was actually not much difference from how I looked above, at age 11.

Whining about what has happened to kids these days would only serve to reveal my age, but I don’t care.

A quick check (by check I mean stalk) on Friendster and a MSN conversation with Jia confirmed my worst suspicions. This trend has spread to Malaysia.

Apparently, form 1 and 2 kids in Malaysia prance around in tank tops, short skirts and heels.

They can dye their hair and pierce their ears multiple times without worrying about a whipping from the discipline teacher.

They apparently don’t need to wear a camisole under their baju kurung anymore and if you wear one, people call you a nerd.

In my time (there I go sounding old again), people who DIDN’T wear camisoles were called sluts (okay so that was the other end of the spectrum).

Jia Min says they probably dress up better than us 21 year olds and men our age will probably choose them over us and we will end up growing old alone in a spinster’s existence.

Dress better than me, Audrey Ooi? Don’t hope!

It is merely a slump that I’m wearing jeans, tshirts and hoodies! (Is this why the Interviewer From Hell said I dressed badly?)

I will perservere!

I will redye my hair every 2 months!
I will get hair extensions!
I will curl my hair everyday!
I will put fake lashes!
I will put makeup gao gao!
I will be the best trophy wife ever!

Yes, looking at the list above, I have decided I have the qualifications to be the shiniest trophy wife ever, which will in turn provide me with the financial means to get Botox later when I need it.

I can’t wait to go home and see what teenagers have become.