AudAngry AudEmo

Race is not a contest

Hi guys it’s me being very serious again wtf.

I’m not sure at which point my post on “acting cute” turned into a venting place for people to say things anonymously about other races and ethnicities.

First there was the comment I pasted in my last entry.

And then someone else (presumably Asian because his IP is Malaysian wtf) left a comment on how he hated white people for some lame reasons which I deleted because I thought it was unnecessary, irrational and hateful.

Then I was talking to Elise and she told me she left a comment in my last entry but it didn’t show up so I checked my spam filter and sure enough, her comment was there, together with this other one:

Anonymous | neverdidnoharm@gmail.com | IP: 199.93.81.1

What the fuck is wrong with your face? Your eyebags are terrible.

/Fix/ them.

To say your makeup and your hair make up your self-esteem, you will probably die before the age of say… 34.

You look like every other generic ~**~asian~**~ girl out there so I don’t know why you think you’re so cute.

You might think that I’m a loser or some other bullshit, but you’ll learn that you’ll forever be alone.
If you DO find someone he will most likely beat your face in and you will never be beautiful, inside or out.

Enjoy your sad lonely life you worthless cunt.

==========================

Ok first three lines are negligible because they’re too stupid to even warrant a reply.

(But I have to admit he will most likely beat your face in and you will never be beautiful, inside or out was quite funny wtf hahahahaa why wanna beat my face in for T_______T)

But what hit me was the “asian” reference again.

Both this IP and the one who talked about Asians being ugly are American IPs.

At first I asked Elise, “so does it mean that they’re all sensitive about my post cos they act cute?”

Elise: I think a big part is because you are Asian and they just wanna say something racist for shock value la..
they wanna be all extreme and shit

I thought that was an interesting insight.

For another view on racism, Elise left me this link.

She asked me, “you read the Holyoke confessional right?”

The Holyoke Confessional is a site where Mount Holyoke students can leave anonymous confessions on anything they want.  I think there are sites like this for a lot of schools — I remember Oberlin, Amherst and i think Smith and Umass had them too.

And the sad part was that a lot of them were very extreme — xenophobic things like “you’re rich and you suck” and rich kids who would retaliate and say “I paid for my own tuition so why can’t you do the same” and “if you can’t afford this school you shouldn’t be here” or “international students are sucking up American money / don’t deserve financial aid”.  Things like that.

Elise said there was even one long post about how science students were smarter than humanities people.

I think there was also a huge confessional debate (debate is putting it nicely) that international students didn’t deserve to apply for the Laurel Fellowship (a scholarship to fund studying abroad) because they were already abroad.  [I was funded by the Laurel when I went to Japan.]

But what I remember the most about the Holyoke Confessional were the many many racist posts.  Things like “Which accent do you think it’s the worst?  Indian for me.” and “there are too many fucking Chinese at Moho” and dunno what else la.

I used to think maybe it was because Mt Holyoke is a very multiethnic community and I think nearly half? (I forget the figures) came from international or colored backgrounds.

But from these few blog comments I realize that racism (and stupidity) is inherent everywhere (not just in Malaysia… or South Africa wtf) and it’s sad and ironic that these two comments are from the US with Obama having just won.

Elise said, “I know a lot of people think those things inside their head.. you’ll be surprised at what bigots people can be.”

There’s this game Angela and I always play called “Would You Rather” and we take turns to ask each other stupid questions like ‘would you rather your boyfriend have no legs or be blind’ wtf or “would you rather be pretty and stupid or ugly and smart’

The other day I asked someone “would you rather get rid of hunger or hatred” and that person answered hunger but I think it really should be hatred.

Comments (34)

  • sometimes I don’t realize what a problem racism still is, but it’s still out there, all over the world. =(
    and I agree with you. hunger is an important issue as well, but I’d want to get rid of hatred

  • i’d want to get rid of hunger first because it seems more feasible.

  • if we got rid of hatred, hunger will prolly go naturally, because (i hope) compassion will take the place of hatred.

    tadah problem solved wtf.

    On a more serious note, what bigots. Honestly. Granted, racist people are everywhere. I was talking to another Malaysian friend and I said that the sad fact is, despite how we’d prefer to think of ourselves as all accepting etc., there is a bit of racism in each of us.

    but this… this is just taking it to the next next next x485789372 level.

    and why is that idiot from westchester! spoil New York’s name only. Dude. Like, freaking get a life.

  • haha aud, u sound like a reporter 😛 btw its 16.6% (once again, there was something on the confessional about the percentage of intl students at moho, and someone put up an official link to that statistic)

    i want to put another link here, but if i do, then this comment is going to spam again. so er, just go to youtube and google this song from Avenue Q “Everyone’s a little bit racist”

    btw i would say hatred too. because it’s a higher level “good” than eradicating hunger. ok lets not go into philosophical stuff here, i can’t back up with theories anyway, just gut feelings 😛

  • I am so sorry you had to endure such hateful, sickening comments. It’s really sad how people can let themselves get a kick out of getting other people upset with their own ugly remarks.

    I would get rid of hatred also. The world would be a better place without it, though I suppose as long as it is around, those that are aware and stand up against it will always know what not to become.

    I don’t know why people even have time to be racist. Life is too short to worry about things like that. We all live on the same earth, so we should start looking out for one another, not putting them down.

  • Yaa. Hi. I’m a friend of the two who cooked up that little anonymous post. I’ll just refer to them as X and Y.

    The two are not racist bigots or anything. Just two people who were bored and were having a little too much fun (X admits this). The two in fact have a great interest in japanese & korean pop culture. The post was a huge surprise to me..

    X deeply regrets posting this at all, while Y wishes not to think about the consequences of what she’s said to someone miles and miles away. I believe that goes to show that they are both equally sorry. They aren’t exactly bragging about this. X is afraid of apologizing because she knows she’ll get so chewed out. And as I said about Y, she’s pretending not to care, but I know she does. Trust me.. 😉

    Eh if you have any questions to ask me.. ill check back here a few more times.. just don’t bother emailing me, thanks..

  • i think what lain says shows that even people who are supposedly not racists says these things when careless/not in control. Imagine given a situation when food/resources are scarce- wouldn’t racism just go through the roof? Hence I vote for eradication of hunger. Once the tummies are full then we can think bout hatred. Empty tummies guarantees hatred!

    i think there are a few theories? I believe the one that says: implicitly everyone holds racial stereotypes. Its the suppression of them that makes a difference.

  • wow to the lain comment. suspicious though since both X and Y come from very different places (judging from the IPs) but then again, you guys could be online friends or something.but it’s still really sweet of him/her to leave a comment clarifying things.

    you know i think one of the reasons why everyone tends to be a little racist on confessional is cause u know how mhc is, they’re so dead set on celebrating diversities etc that i think all these talks about diversities actually divide people.

    and because it’s anonymous in confessional (and the internet), ppl are generally meaner but i still think it’s not really their true feelings anyway. they might be trolls just out to get ppl for fun (like X and Y) or they might have harbored slight animosity towards someone different from them and knowing that it’s anonymous, they think it won’t hurt anyone anyway.

    but again, if they know how much it hurts, i’m still set on believing that they feel bad too.

  • racism… you can never never get rid of them… never….

  • True, everyones a lil racist. Its jst tat there are some tatz abit too sensitive/hateful so they go around commenting. And those tat not reali a racist keep quiet. So u canot assume tat theres more racist than non-racist. Jst because racist bark n non-racist not. lol

  • sorry typo, ur not assuming. my bad

  • Racism is always a problem as people often view differences in a negative way rather than a positive way. But at the same time, you do see people who celebrate the differences and uniqueness in each race or culture 🙂

    As long as we be the latter I am sure we are making the world a better place! And no point worrying about what others say: Why so serious? They don’t even know you, rite?

    Have some chocolates instead la.

  • i have this american friend who always calls me a fob just cause am new in US and every time he does that i pretend i dont care but seriously i wna punch my fist into his stupid face. anyways. i would get rid of hatred cause there should be no space for that in this already depressing world *emowtf*.

  • i wonder if racism is an evolutionary mechanism…….

  • i know how that feels!

    i`m currently in australia, and we`ve(asians) been told to f*ck of and go back to our countries…
    said somethin like we`re taking over australia,we`re filling up spaces in their universities,we`re taking away their chances in getting a good job/education yada yada yada

    it`s not fair actually.. we`ve worked hard for a lot of things…maybe they should start working harder instead of partying so hard and blaming us?

  • i believe majority americans r still very very racist. contrary to what they trying to potray.
    how ironic that many of the people from the other part of country thinks n sees highly bout america. (yes, i kno racism exist not just in the US) – the way i see it, the more educated n modern a person is actually the more chance to be v racist.
    we only can try to be a good person so gth with them ^__^

  • hunger… maybe they’re cranky cos US is in recession and they don’t have enough food that’s why they’re hating wtf

  • val: autralians arent even native to australia! how about they give everything back to the aborigines

  • in response to läin:

    despite what X or Y may say now, their comments were RIDICUOLOUSLY hurtful and full of bigotry. One does not wish upon another “you’ll learn that you’ll forever be alone.
    If you DO find someone he will most likely beat your face in and you will never be beautiful, inside or out. Enjoy your sad lonely life you worthless cunt.
    ” even in the so-called spirit of fun. There’s fun, but there are certain lines should not be crossed, and X and Y crossed them.

    As for Y not wishing to think of the consequences, I have this to say – There are many things in life in which you will HAVE to bear with the consequences; they won’t be as easy to get out as this is because it’s the internet, so you are accorded some measure of anonymity and privacy.

    Being courageous enough to apologize shows the true substance of a person. That is all I have to say.

  • to Iain:

    thank you for your comment; that was nice of you to speak out and try to clarify for your friends.

    i wasn’t very hurt by the comments on my appearance or the predictions for my future wtf because they’re not true anyway. but as their friend, could you tell me what pushed them to leave such a comment?

    was it because they didn’t like me, or my blog? or did they just stumble on my blog and decide, hey let’s have some fun with this girl? i am just honestly curious about what would motivate people to say things like that. thanks.

  • “The other day I asked someone “would you rather get rid of hunger or hatred” and that person answered hunger but I think it really should be hatred.”

    Eh my first reaction to this question was hunger. But to think about it again, to get rid of hatred is a wiser choice. Because hungry ppl will eventually die, then they will disappear. But hatred may exist forever until that person die.

    I don’t know how to find the logic in this but that is if we really have to choose

  • i would rather get rid of hatred but i hate to be hungry,so how ah?
    WTF!

  • @carol: Yes I know, i just wanted to attempt to somewhat remedy this..

    Which doesn’t seem to be working now that I made the mistake of telling Y that I actually went and posted an apology for her and X. She’s ticked off at me now. For essentially taking back something that she said. I can kind of understand that..

    @Audrey: I don’t really know since I wasn’t around. I guess they just stumbled her and typed somethings.. I don’t want to try bringing up the subject with either of them anymore.

  • i think there must b a way to get rid of both hatred and hunger together.

    btw, just let the racist n ignorance sink by themselves, needless of any amplifier.

    n just blog as how u always blog. that s u! n i have been reading it with joy n fun regardless of good or bad things..

  • to iain: ok then just let Y be miserable and pathetic forever. (although i do appreciate your help, thanks!)

  • ive commented on ur delusional post and i have to say again… racism is in each and everyone of us..u cant deny that fact…sometimes all we have to do is just play along….u know ? like i live in a dorm on campus and on my floor there are people of different ethnicity..and we make fun of each other all the time..just for the fun of it 😛 like id make fun of this brown guy calling him cheap and making fun of his accent and the whites would say “ching chongx2” to the hongers and they on the other hnd would call the japs nips and the pinays/pinoys would be called flips…u see… even asians make fun of asians… so any of you haters out there remember this .. “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is a part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” so if u call someone a racist..u must be a racist yourself.. take care and have a good one..

  • Hi!!!
    i’m from argentina, and i visit your blog all the weeks.
    and i think you are really cute girl.
    Plese don’t listen the envy people

    good bye!!!!

  • pd: my english is so bad!
    xD

  • I’d get rid of hatred too !
    (But then I guess the three angry white man wouldn’t survive wtf)

    Anyway, I’d get rid of hatred because it’s often the lack of love that causes hunger 🙁

  • “Wow”

    the last sentence of this post gave me that effect 🙂

    i’m so sorry that you have to deal with racist comments from people like X and Y who don’t know you at all. I hardly understand how insulting/cursing someone else makes some people sleep better at night :S

  • eh really have to second hatred because thinking of all the countries with starving children and the neighbours with food production surplus flaring their nostrils because they cant be not profiteering how could u explain it? there must be some hatred of “otherness” behind the motives of petty mankind

  • Audrey,

    The person who sent you the insulting remarks is not only cruel, but an idiot.

    I am an American, married to a lovely asian women. I can tell you that you are glamorous, cute, beautiful, and should not listen to creeps who send such remarks.

    Asian women among the most attractive women in the WORLD!

    Living in the U.S.A, as part of an Asian-American family has been fun. I have been to a few parties with my wife and one or two or my Phil-Am nieces, an I can say that when one, two or more asian-american women make an entrance, heads turn. Men look to admire. The girls, well often they shoot eye-darts at the new arrivals that are getting all the attention.

    BTW, I found your blog via Ringo’s cheeseland.com

    Your group of friends are fun to follow.

    David

  • it’s sometimes hard to believe got so many of these dumbasses ard.

    it’s one thing to laugh at Hollywood racial stereotypes (like how asians.. i mean.. orientals canot pronounce R’s and L’s) sometimes but not when it’s outside of movies and stand-up comedy.

    the worst cases of racism i faced was in those angmo countries themselves. they r mostly from ppl who never left the country. sickening

  • You are brilliant, i love how you make me laugh make me think and pleasing my eyes all at once.
    I came across your blog cos i was searching for gyaru stuffs, i ended up spent 4 hours reading your stuff. ha.
    As an Asian girl living in London myself i have always block the racist mind out. I’d rather take it as an advantige and fool around with it.
    I call myself Oriantal really, I thought and enjoyed it as such an advantage and strong persona.
    UNTILL
    i got really sick onece last year i had to go home for a year for good.
    I think the most terrifying thing is ignorence, what i recived when i most needed help.
    The degrading messages and nasty attentions are just fun(ny) piss you off when you forst ot it but make you laugh later on.
    I think it always come to the conclusion all that shits comes from jealousy and threatend feelings.
    ……
    must stop this long ass essay now
    well, i enjoyed reading yoru stuff so i thought i’d write something for return 🙂
    well, you are incradibly cute, make me wanna do your hair and make up, hummm, keep it up X

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