I took some time wondering if I should post this up.
This is the video that made up my mind for me, that asserted the fear that we have no future in this country and the decision to move out.
A year or so ago, I once told Tim that somewhere in the future I would like to move out of the country — to Singapore for instance.
He protested saying that this is home. Malaysia is where his parents live and where mine live. And it’s true. Instead of staying on in London like many of his peers, after he graduated, he chose to come home.
But what is home? Home is a place where you belong. According to the man in the video above, in his tone and more, this is not our home.
And so Tim started considering Singapore as a serious option to live in in the future.
Every time he talked about Singapore or every time we were in Singapore, my heart would clench just a little bit. Singapore is beautiful, organized, cosmopolitan. But did I really want to leave this messy, chaotic, heartwarming, low speed broadband nation where you live in danger of getting your bag snatched, for someone else’s beautiful sterile country?
I said I would but deep down I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to give up ordering kai fan in Cantonese in KL only to switch to Hokkien if we drove north for three hours. I didn’t want to give up hearing the ubiquitous Malaysian accent which nobody in the world has, including the Singaporeans. That said, I don’t want to give up switching languages without giving it a thought. Even something like bribes to get out of trouble. Telling my American friends about how I bribed to pass my driving test always made me laugh to see the dismay on their faces and it’s definitely not something to be condoned but that’s what makes us us.
If the people in power today were the brain of Malaysia and the country itself is the body, we, the raykat are the heart. And if the brain keeps pushing its body in all the wrong directions, sooner or later the heart is going to stop beating.
Two years ago I wrote this blog entry. Reading about people calling us ‘pendatang’ made me struggle not to cry then as I struggle not to now. I was sad but I was also hopeful. I half wished I was Prime Minister and I had a whole list of things I wanted to mend.
I applaud what certain parties are doing to try to steer us back on track. I know that young graduates like me are urged to come back and not leave the country to idiots like Ibrahim Ali and the entire MCA wtf. And I would in a jiffy if I thought it would help.
But right now I don’t believe we can do it. I want so badly to see hope but I believe that the people running our country now will cause us to fail and I believe that is the right and inevitable thing to happen. I believe that sometimes you have to be pushed far enough under for you to learn your lesson and for your rotting wooden house to collapse around you before you can reconstruct it with new polished timber.
This is where I grew up. This is where I ran or run across the street illegally because nobody waits for traffic lights. This is where I bought aiskrim potong the uncle pulls out from the metal box attached to his motorcycle. This is where I learned Malay from scratch to an A1 in SPM. This is where from after completing my secondary education my parents sent me away for university.
And this is where from I will leave again. I don’t know when, I don’t know where. I don’t even know if I will end up leaving. And I definitely don’t know if it’s wrong or right. But right now this is what I feel.
Quote Malaysia Today:
The Department of Statistics reports that in 2007, 80 per cent of Malaysia’s workforce received education only up to Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM). And in 2008 some 350,000 Malaysians were working abroad, over half of which had tertiary education.
Please can’t you change our minds about moving abroad?
***Apologies if this offends anyone. This is merely an opinion piece of an idealistic ignorant person.
(And I would like to add that I love Malaysia and its people. Just not the government wtf. And any racist or seditious comments will be deleted wtf)
Comments (97)
Yes, I feel what you feel. The politicians are causing havoc in our country. But when you look at the right places, look to your left and right for example, you will see that Malaysians love the peace that we have. Malaysians love and are proud to be Malaysians no matter what race they are. There will always be the grudges and complains about one race or the other. But most of the time, I think they are just that…complains. These politicians who say the wrong things without thinking over what they were saying should be sent to ISA! I love this country. And I hope people would stop thinking of leaving the country to those racial and ignorant politicians. Let’s do something about it. If you have the time, hayatilah the song by the late Sudirman “Warisan”. Brings tears to my eyes. Cheers. 🙂
I have been working overseas and have plans to go overseas again (Esp after watching the video you’ve posted. hahaa) ! I don’t mind getting the different treatment compared to the malays but i just hate the governments so much. I love Malaysia, the different cultures, the food and EVERYTHING except for the politics and government because they want to make everyone racist like them.
*hmm..will TM disconnect my internet service for posting such comment ?
Well, I realize Malaysia had this problem about 4 years ago. Thus here I am, in Norway. 3 years more, when I am 22.. I guess I’ll take up the offer to me a Norwegian citizen.
When I first moved here, I wondered if I abandoned my country. I wondered if I was being ungrateful for what Malaysia did provide me once. Then I realized, No.
I shouldn’t feel this way for they really had not given me anything other than a place for my family and me to live. I doubt there was anything more.
It is really kinda sad it has to turn out this way, I love Malaysia, I think of it dearly, and I miss it even more. I think very highly of it, I just don’t think it is somewhere I can call home. It’s sad, I feel unwanted. :/
🙁
i wish the “brains” would read this..
I was born in Johor and grow up at SIngapore. I keep complain about Malaysia to my parent since my mom is singaporean. I told my dad that I would like to stay and work at singapore and my dad said that malaysia is our home and why u want stay singapore?
Recently my mom called and asked if I would like to apply Singapore PR since my mom getting a Malaysia PR due of the family matters.
I really happy that I get license from my parent to stay, work and be singaporean… maybe to replace my mom place haha…
I just submit my PR registration and after I grad from my bachelor, I will stay there… wish me good luck ya XD
Always have hope Audrey. I’m a Singaporean but I know you will miss Malaysia if you leave. Immigrant societies like our kinds will always struggle with nation building. It’s rare that you actually have so much hope for your country. Maybe I’ll never understand the feeling of being under treated as a race, but I do understand the feeling of helplessness that we can’t change a lot of things in our life.
Well, what do I know? I’m 19. But something my American lecturer said in my political science seminar class really moved me. “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism”. Most leaders are put into jail again and again and met with opposition until they get what they want. Most people do that and don’t get what they want.
Being idealistic is good. I wish to always stay this way. It’s easy to get disillusioned, though.
audrey, i totally understand what you are trying to say. like me, i had once contemplated studying overseas. but somehow i ended up finishing my degree here.
i had also thought of leaving malaysia to work overseas. but somehow it’s hard to leave a place where you were born and bred. 25 years here and you leave?
Yes malaysia has tons of crappy stuff including the ‘gahmen’, the low income level, crappy internet speed and privileges given. yes i have thought of running away and migrate to nice countries like singapore and UK and US and Australia (both my siblings are studying there), but I’m still here. go figure.
what we can do is fight for reformation and better equalities. what we can do is make sure that our elders and our future generations live better.
When I was 10, I moved out of Malaysia to live and study in Melbourne.
I missed my home country so much, and for a few years I was always thinking to myself that in the future I would go back to live there because Malaysia was fantastic blah blah blah. (I was so young and naive T_T)
But then a few years down the road here in Melbourne, I don’t know why I even thought of going back to Malaysia. I realised that there was so much more opportunity here for me than there would have been if I were back to my home country.
I decided that I would continue on living here, rather than wasting my father’s efforts into migrating the family here for a better future, and then moving back to Malaysia again.
I still think Malaysia is a beautiful country, yes (food and shopping omgggg). But I just cannot stand the fact that the majority race is given priviledges and so much more advantages, no matter their income; whereas the minority races have to work so much harder to get the same priviledges and advantages.
The only reason I have to visit Malaysia now is to visit relatives, shop, and to stuff myself with glorious authentic malaysian food until I become fat like… a snorlax wtf. T_T
Girl I am a M’sian and a S’pore PR as well. I’ve lived, studied and worked in S’pore for >10 yrs and everytime people always ask me why I don’t want to convert to S’porean citizenship, I said I don’t want to give up M’sian citizenship. Despite people’s negative opinions towards M’sia (and I do face discrimination a lot when growing up in S’pore trust me)and the fact that M’sia does indeed have plenty of room for improvements, I don’t know, I have strong feelings towards M’sia.
It’s the only thing stopping me from giving up my blue IC for a red IC. I hope this feeling will never disappear but I really don’t know.
Stay hopeful Audrey. Hope is the first step to everything.
Btw I love this post 🙂
Yah considered fucking off to Australia too…can’t stand Singapore personally.
Decided it’s better here in the end 😀
Seriously I have been reading and never wrote any comment but this post seriously makes me compelled to write. I practically live in front of Singapore door step (JB). Singapore all though very strict and sterile but at least I am feeling safe on the streets, in Malaysia, I can’t even feel safe living at my own home without afraid of people breaking in!!! And lets not talk about fairness, the education systems, the roads and many more…
Malaysia is a beautiful country, but it is very sad to live in it….
I do strongly agree on what you are saying. It’s quite sad to know what is actually happened in our country recently. We should stand together & correct everything instead of running away from the problems. There’s one time I was thinking to stay at Oz after graduating, but my heart was still with the place where I born & raised up. Never give up on hope. There’s always a dim of light in the dark tunnel. Cheers
I guess you had just put into words the sentiments most of us share. It’s indeed disheartening when the majority of the other races contemplated migration. I really liked this post, especially this one “Please can’t you change our minds about moving abroad?”
I don’t have any advice, but whatever you choose, I wish you all the best.
P.S. I think I saw you at PBD yesterday.
im not a chinese but growing up learning mandarin and having 90% of chinese friends certainly made me understand how u feel. there are a lot of issues that makes me cringed and wonder why are we still divided by our colours?
Malaysia have the most billionaires in the whole world, don’t you want your wombeh tim tim to be in the list? hehheh.
Well, i’m a malaysian, a singapore PR as well, even though i’m earning Sing Dollar, but i’ll never intend give up my malaysia citizenship….all my friends, families, memories are there, it’s a place which i’ll never forget. Singapore is good, but sometimes i just cant breath as it’s too tensed over here.
Aud this is nicely written, and I think you should remove the apology because if anyone would get offended he can write a horsey.
this is exactly how i feel. i love my country, thinking of immigration makes my heart bitter. but my hope for this rotting country has died long ago, what i see is only chinese like us slowly losing place. and somehow it’s not about racial issue anymore, our country is deteriorating in many aspects. and the 1msia thing is just some trashy political propaganda.
Thank you being one of the few ppl brave enough to publish such thoughts. I think many ppl feel this way but very few dare to say anything or are just playing the “Haiya, it’s like that wan lah, what to do” card.
I for one could not bare to see my father continuously being pass for promotion year after year of government service (25 years). Having to see him work x10 harder than his “bumiputera” counterpart, then to end up calling his juniors boss and doing their work. This is true events, and if you say everything is peachy, you’re just lying to yourself. After he finally went into private firm, he had to no choice but to pay under counter money just so he can get government projects that only bumiputera’s can get.
But you know what, my father work his ass off. Today, he gv his children the dream, the dream that they can do whatever they want. I am proof of that dream, and I am PROUD to say I will NEVER come back to MALAYsia…. Nope, not even for the food. I’ll go to New York for that, and there, I can eat pork without scrutiny.
I’ve been studying in Aus for the past 4 years and have always wanted to go back to Msia after graduating. My family n friends are back in Msia, I love the way Msia is, the food.. But meeting more Msians who have chosen to settle here in Aus and the fact that security and opportunities are better abroad saddens me that I’m actually thinking about not going back anymore.
It’s true, Malaysia is a beautiful country with beautiful people. The only sad thing is our government. I think that’s the reason why people move abroad.
i seriously feel what u feel. its really a love and hate relationship with this country seriously.
when my malaysian fren who is studying in spore writing !@#$% about m’sia. i seriously feel sad bcz its true, but it hurts.
T.T
Well said aud!
Audrey, please take the time to watch this video which explains what Perkasa is about and why Ibrahim Ali talks like that:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ph6SFGon1Y
You must also know that politicians like these get in power because many of us don’t bother to vote. People like Ibrahim Ali got voted into Parliament. Why don’t you consider doing something for the country and vote for better people to form the government, Malaysia can change only if ALL OF US want it to. For a start, you can register to vote:
http://dosomethingepic.net/
I’ve been following your blog for some time but never left a comment. I feel sad when I think of Malaysia. I have been living in Australia for almost 9 years now. While I love Malaysia, there are sadly more opportunities over here than back in my home country. Why are we labelled as outsiders in our own home country? What is then our identity? We are not truly Malaysian, but are we truly Chinese?
I totally agree with you! They seriously need a change…they always say 1Malaysia but i still think that race is still a major issue…
admittedly when i first read your blog i thought u were more fluff than substance(sorry, got distracted by the cutesy header and pictures).
but after reading this, realised you had a deep side to you, and this entry, i totally agree with what you say.
how can ‘One Malaysia’ be a reality when chinese citizens are constantly sidelined?
I totally agree!!! Our government is busy promoting 1 Malaysia but I personally don’t think we have problems among the races. We’re actually getting along fine.
My main concern is on the safety issue.
My Singaporean friend asked,
“Is it safe to walk alone in KL?”
After the conversation on how things work in Malaysia, she then said “Why don’t you move to Singapore?”
I truly felt what you felt the first time when I saw the clip, but a friend enlightened me the issue to look at both sides of the story.
He says:”
Yes indeed, we always feel that discrimination is very critical in this country and we Chinese (quote) are always bullied and oppressed here, but look. Discrimination happens everywhere. I’ve live in US for as long as I could and I can tell you here that discrimination is far worst there.
The difference about them and us is they have this policy that caters to help the minorities which is very organised and based on merits, unlike us, which is fairly disorganised and race-based.
I think poverty and bribery have a lot to do with discrimination as well. Bribery is a more serious problem here than discrimination, contrary to popular belief.
I thank God that many friends of the majority race of mine have gradually wake up and realised that they themselves can take things at their own hands and gradually, I hope, we will all come to a pace where discrimination arise, but more of a merit-based than race-based.
SG is a beautiful country, but do note that they too have their downfall. I mean, I appreciate the law but being overly lawful is just weird! Yes we Malaysians breach the law (esp traffic) all time but deep down, we enjoy it as part of our culture, like it or not. And gosh. They are very discriminatory on merit based as well, but we forgive them because overall the country is good.
It takes a lot for us , the next generation to make this country a better one. If we abandon it, it will never be a beautiful country that we dreamt about now.
If we stay and help, there is a possibility, but if we leave, there will never be a turning back.”
I hope you guys who share the same grief as I am towards the country’s future can consider his words. Afterall, hope never dies. 🙂
Btw. I find this video rather biased in the sense that :
1. The video only portrays a girl who claimed that she would only return to Malaysia if she’s equally treated here but where is the evidence that she is equally treated in other countries? Do they not discriminate her in the first place and accept her right there?
2. It portrays a sea of Malay women in tudungs and claimed that there is discrimination and oppression of the minorities but where is the proof?
3. RIdiculous part would be this Mr. Ibrahim saying 3 times xxxx? Where is the sense in this? Shouldn’t they pick a more well educated Malay like the other speaker who can speak well verse English to explain their point of view.
4. The Malays are not given a fair say in this video. Do we honestly don’t have Malay friends who are improved enough to think that this man himself is a bs in the first place?
Not all majority race people are so full of themselves. Some are willing to learn as well. They are the minorities amongst the majority. Give them a chance to have their say before jumping into the conclusion.
i hope these racist politicians wont go far in their career. msia dont need them.
Quote from Shaolin Tiger
Why MAS not SG was the question. He replied:
If I wanted an environment like Singapore, I may as well just stay in the UK. It’s so sterile, too organised, the business market is saturated – it’s boring. I find Singapore doesn’t really have any character, the food is bland or salty, there’s no real heritage there, the racial melting pot is very much subdued.
Read full text here http://www.shaolintiger.com/2009/02/16/5-years-in-malaysia-come-and-gone/
=) Cheer up Malaysians. We will have faith in our country and will do best for her with what we can.
What Tim said is right. It’s still home no matter what. Stay and make a change :).
i echo ur sentiments and second ur opinion.
I too am facing an internal struggle as to whether or not to leave the country given that i was given the opportunity to work either in S’pore or London in the near future. as much as i want to leave this chaotic and messy country that has a dysfunctional brain, the heart of it i still hold close to mine.
that said, the brain of the country is deteriorating exponentially despite not being very bright to begin with yet refuses to acknowledge their flaws and misgivings but continue to bask in fallacious ‘pride’ *shameful*
especially the hostility towards us guised under a lawyer of thin ice easily breakable by any provocation, however minor 🙁
speaks volume when the GOM is among the few countries in the world that has yet to ratify the United Nation’s international convention on the elimination of racial discrimination. *applauds*
layer*
(typo sorry)
why everyone complaining about staying in malaysia i hate being abroad i hate working in england i hate being away from family i hate being cold all the time i wanna go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that being said, 1malaysia will never be a reality. why can’t we all live together despite our skin colour? why is colour an issue? surely the initial aim of the dasar ekonomi baru has been achieved that there is no more need for it 30 years down the road?
aih let us all just go to iraq and die WTF
Instead of complaining about how we chinese aren’t treated equally, I would like to comment on 5 things I will change about Malaysia if I have the power and ability to:
1) Transport system – traffic is way too congested in the city, stop encouraging people to buy proton, instead invest in public transport system that actually works!!
2) Education system – 1 thing I found out about malaysia’s education system is that they do not emphasize on general knowledge. History taught us about Hang Tuah, japan’s colonization of malaysia etc, but never taught us about the civil war in China, nor the jews in nazi germany. I find that when we are abroad competing with people from all around the world, there are just so many things that we are not aware of. Another thing is, employing teachers/lecturers who are responsible and knowledgeable is essential.
3) Security – let’s be honest. I do not feel safe at all, at home or otherwise. Too many crimes and too little action taken to curb this problem. If only the polices are out catching criminals instead of receiving bribes from people who commit minor traffic offences i.e. not wearing seat belts. Also, stop “welcoming” so many illegal immigrants!! what good does it do to our economy and security?
4) Corruption – need no elaboration.
5) The Government itself – proportionate representation in parliament, equal treatment policies or at least bridging the gap of unequal treatment.
That’s all I can think of now, but I am sure there is more room for improvement. Malaysia is a great country and I hope to see it grow and develop.
sigh i love reading your deep posts orange golliwog but they make me sad too cuz it usually means u’re emo about something.
personally i wish i could be more like you and tim and love msia enough to have doubts about leaving. i know i’d take the 1st opportunity to leave if it ever came 🙁
sure, there’s discrimination everywhere but at least the ‘you is pendatangz’ excuse would actually start to make sense outside msia.
i agree
🙂
i kno how u feel aud. i’ve been hoping and wishing and praying throughout the years too but it’s getting from bad to worst.
i love malaysia as much as u do.
proud to be a malaysian 😀
p/s: shit i posted this at the wrong post a moment ago == paiseh
I believe that one is able to stand out more in M’sia. Working in Spore, Taiwan or the other cosmopolitan cities require more “substance” to climb the corporate ladder or to land into bigger companies.
The popularity in Korean plastic surgery can be explained by the fact that ‘appearance’ becomes the only winning point amongst other jobseekers bcos everyone owns a degree/ equally owns an impressive CV etc etc.
An above average citizen in Taipei only lives in a 1000+squarefoot condo VS an above average M’sian who can already prolly afford a landed property !
For those ppl who has the case of ‘the grass is greener on the other side’… it’ll only be true if u’re leading an average life, as in u’re an average salaryman by KL standards for example. Unless one is exceptionally brilliant, it is highly likely that he/she will just be leading a very mediocre/average life overseas (taking public transports, living in an average place, etc etc).
1. Totally empathise with Xylia #20. My mum is still with the govt after 30++ years of service, and shes received loads of “cemerlang” awards, but when it came to promotion, nothing happened. Very painful.
2. Discrimination exists everywhere Audrey. I’m living in Italy now, and even here, they look at and treat Asians as second class people. Thing is, I’m ok with the Italians discriminating against us, its not out country after all. BUT to be discriminated against in one’s OWN tanahair is nothing but painful and heartwrenching. And, though we may be foreigners living in a foreign land, we have the same rights here as everyone else. Same rights to job opportunities, same prices when we buy houses, same free healthcare as citizens etc.
3. My other half had his tertiary education in Singapore, and lived and worked with a PR status there for a number of years too. We’re always arguing about the merits of being Singaporean vs Malaysian. I hate it when he sides the Singaporeans. But the worst part is, he is right. (Hate it when it happens :P) It IS safer there, there’s less/no discrimination etc.
4. My argument then would be, come what may, we were born as Malaysians, lived in Malaysia for the major parts of our lives, and my allegiance would always lean towards Malaysia. My other half prefers Singapore, but somehow, even when presented with the opportunity to obtain Italian PR/citizenship, we’re not quite ready to give up our Malaysian citizenship.
Hate to admit it, but I guess Malaysia will always be home. How la like that 😛
There are not many fortunate Malaysians who have the financial means n r able to leave the country anytime, but if you do, then pls, still come back to vote for a change. our parents, grandparents and family are all here, we need to VOTE to change. be a registered voter.
I left Malaysia three months ago to study in a community college here in Texas. I live with my entire family of ten here, and I still don’t call this place home. To me, home is the place where I can walk out to the nearest mamak stall just to get my packet of teh ais. Home is where my dad would pay RM50 to the policeman to get away from a saman. Home is where the India, Cina and Melayu jokes are made. Malaysia will forever be my home, and I’m sure it will be homes to many others who migrated out of Malaysia.
However, I swore that I will not go back to Malaysia for good. I’ll be in any other countries in the world, as long as they give me a promising future. Just like many of you, I love the place, I love the people and I most certainly love the food, but will the rest of the rakyat Malaysia ( Indians and Chinese especially ) ever love Malaysia for the supposing equality that the government gave us ? I doubt so. Not in another twenty years at the very least.
Great post. Not much to say but in this generation, our generation, you guys oughtta be voting. I agree with Jane. VOTe and vote change? In time…
it’s like this. we have a beautiful country, we have beautiful people. but we have ugly politicians who will do anything to ruin this country and its people. I agree with you wholely in this post.
I’m really tired of all these stupid people dividing our nations, not only into two parts but multiple and multiple parts. fts, i dun even wanna care about what will happen to the country because there is nothing much for me to love anymore.
It’s sad, isn’t it? I feel that all our ancestors’ and our hard work for this country is treated as garbage which really brings heartache. They just don’t see we also made sacrifices for this place we call home and only see us as a threat who just want to snatch their privileges and rights. Do we not have rights as well?
i feel the same way too. i’m studying in australia for 3 years now, and i never liked being here or ever intend to stay back. it’s just not home. malaysia is a great and beautiful country. it’s such a pity that politics ruined this country.
honestly, i dont think the problems lies within the people, i think its just pure politics. i have tons of malay friends, and they dont judge you and they dont discriminate you. we are all the same.
singapore isnt all that better either. somehow i get the feeling that they too, look down upon malaysians XD
I would like to comment in reply to me saying that the video is biased.
Yes, I have many friends who are Malays and if were politicians, would absolutely make Malaysia a much better place to live in. The problem is that when those Malays step up to the plate, they will be bombarded with criticisms. And a more educated malay in Malaysian politics? Err.