Brokeback Aud

Yesterday I happened to be stranded at a client’s office after a meeting.

I didn’t realize that my colleague wasn’t planning to go back to the office after that wtf.  As is common knowledge, I still don’t have a car fml. And since my office is nowhere near a train station, I usually rely on the kindness of my parents, Wombeh, and coworkers to shuttle to and fro from office, meeting places, and home.

So I sat outside the office, waiting for one and a half hours for someone to be available to give me a lift.  And so I got super fucking duper emo at the vehicle-less state of my life.

Mad at myself for forgetting to check with my colleague if she was going back to the office. Embarrassed that I sat there for more than an hour while people on their way out cast me curious glances. Feeling like a world class  burden and leech for having to rely on people around me for transportation.  Mad at my mother for not allowing me to get a car.  Angry at everyone for not being able to pick me up.  And then blaming myself for getting myself into this situation but still wanna get angry at other people wtf.

The truth is, I could hate the world and blame my mom for my car-less state.  But honestly, she’s right. There is no way in hell I can afford a car of my own right now.  The Parents Ooi and I were going through the documents for my college loan the other day and though I’ve been paying like a thousand ringgit a month for a year and a half now, the amount still owed still managed to sock me in the gut wtf.

Let’s just say the amount I have to pay can buy me a brand new VW Beetle in Malaysia (just saw a bilboard for it today wtf)

(for foreigners, cars in Malaysia are disproportionately expensive in comparison to our salaries)

I even contemplated getting a scooter WTF.  But then I’d have to get a motorcycle license. And I don’t even know how to ride a bicycle wtf.  But THEN I’d get to wear a pink helmet WTF.  But THEN I would get dark riding around in the sun everyday wtf.

At times like these, I wonder if what Wombeh said is right — is it worth it to go to a good school but graduate with years of loans on your back? Should I just have stayed back in Malaysia for college? Or taken ADP? wtf (sorry am not a fan of the American Degree Program)

But then again, who would I be today if I hadn’t gone to Mt Holyoke? I hated it then but now I think it’s damn cool that I went to a women’s college lor WTF.  Who knows how differently I would have turned out if I went to NUS? Or Melbourne Uni? I would have none of the unique experiences I had in the US and Japan if I did the more traveled route of UK/Australia/Singapore.

I guess the price of a new VW Beetle is worth it for that…. wtf.

You know the other day I was in a conference of sorts.  The topic was the differences in generations — Baby Boomers, Gen X and Gen Y.

(For those in the un-know, we’re all Gen Y wtf)

Anyway they stated that Gen Y is the most privileged generation by far — never went through any major wars, no famine, thoroughly loved & pampered by their parents the Baby Boomers.

(ps: talk was given by members of Gen x. ie. biased wtf)

The speaker: “for example, once the Gen Y turns 18, the parents give them a credit card for their expenses overseas. And when they graduate and get jobs, the parents buy them a car so they can get to work.  And they feel sorry for their kids for having such low starting salaries that they usually top it up…”

I thought I should stick up for my fellow Gen Y members so I said “no lor! My parents didn’t give me a car also!”

Then all the older generation people dismissed me and said “your parents from Penang right? Penang people are different” WTF WTF.

HAHAHAHAHAHA sia suay Penang people!

Anyway my point is, they were right in a way. (not about Penang people wtf) A lot of my friends still get financial assistance from their parents.  A lot get cars granted by parents, Tze is working in London now but still has a credit card paid by her dad wtf, quite a few people got substantial gifts (Chanel bags, European holidays, etc) from their parents for graduating.

My parents are not like that at all!  Nobody can doubt their love for me ok wtf.  But once their kid gets a job it means the kid is financially independent and should start contributing to the household.  Which makes sense to me cos if I still can’t contribute to my family now when I already have a job then when can I do that? (btw remind me to give money to my mother this month wtf)

After I graduated I jokingly asked them if I was gonna get a graduation present.

My parents: “what? your graduation present is your education fees la” WTF.

So true T_T

We’re not superbly rich and my parents sacrificed a lot to give me and Ooib overseas educations (and Ooib a Masters now!) Some people ask me why don’t I ask my parents for help in getting a car but I promised myself I would never take one more cent from them after I start working.

I don’t think I’m unusually pitiful either.  I’m sure a lot of people my age are in my situation or worse.  Like at least I don’t have to take a bus to work wtf. And I have people who love me enough to ferry me around without complaining 🙂

So I guess I’ll be hovering around like a leech for a while longer… pour salt on me if I complain wtf.

p/s: ok that was a lot of verbal diarrhea wtf

  • Jessie

    strongly second wafu …. if only MY transport minister do more to improve the public transport ….

  • lyricass

    Hi gal…the solution is to come work in singapore. pay is higher (u can pay off ur loans double the time taken) and u can get anywhere easily…

  • Stay Strong

    Like your blog ,
    But remember this century ,
    Even we have a study loan ,
    No cars? No Good Bags ?
    We r bless to have what last generation don’t , A loving parent & houses ~
    My wishes to you all the best,
    u r a strong girl i believe.
    God bless.
    Amen .

  • Chocalita

    times have changed but isn’t it good that there are the privileges? :/ it means that society has advanced.. working towards a better life…etc (somewhat, lol) :] anyway with that said, i’ve got to say it’s definitely a misguided interpretation, thinking that genY is too pampered/spoilt.. :/ there’s always the pressure, expectations.. and competitiveness in the real world 🙂

  • carrie

    this is the problem in msia. If you dont have a car, it’s very inconvenient…. Work hard gal, u can make it!

  • Tilia

    Just out of curiousity, why aren’t you a fan of ADP?

  • kei

    hello aud! i was actually going to Aus to study but in the very last minute my dad told me he cannot afford 🙁 so i kinda had to change my study plan and now i’m doing a degree from local college… i sometimes wonder where does this degree will take me to but i tell myself it is alright because degree is just a paper. i think what counts is the experience, unfortunately i don’t really find my uni life to be exciting or inspiring or anything fun though 🙁

    i’m not from a rich family too and have been working since 16 years old and since then i didn’t receive any money from my parents. but now i could afford to go holidays with my own money and i am definitely more experienced than any other ordinary uni students when it comes to working experience.. although its just a part-time i now know how capable i am and hopefully with a degree from some crappy local college with my sort-of-proud experiences would take me to somewhere 😀

    at the same time i dont blame my parents too i’m actually thankful because if they didn’t bring me up this way, i wouldn’t know how to appreciate money. i like this entry of yours very much aud!! <3

  • twinkle

    Generally, public transport is poor in Malaysia. Like my case, I totally need car to go to work… since no public transport service to my office.

    I have no money for deposit… what to do, max the loan… 9 years (haihhh!!).

    And, I support the whole house bills ( Astro, water, electricity,cukai pintu,grocery, house maintenance.. etc).

    But, I see this as a blessing because.. my parents already done a lot for me… and this is a way for me to pay them back.

    Don’t worry Aud. Your parents is doing the right thing for you.

    On top of that, being a single mother, I will do the same with my daughter.Don’t want to manja her so much! Take more responsibility on money. So that, when I die, I know my kid knows how to survive by their own financially( p/s… I buy myself insurance, so that if anything happen to me, at least my daughter or parents got money laaaaa).

  • ashley

    Ohohoho so I’m not the only one here.

    My parents don’t believe in giving credit cards (“when you go to college, many people will approach you to sign up for one, DON’T YOU DARE SIGN UP FOR THOSE” wtf) or branded goods even when they can afford it. They believe I am to do what I am supposed to do if I cannot rely on them which means finding your way in the world while they are there to give you advice. I don’t doubt their love for me either and I know they will step right in to help me should I need it but one cannot help envy friends around you who fit that gen Y description up there.

    But after all the grumblings and rantings, secretly deep down I am thankful for this even though I will never admit it because when it comes to certain situations, I find that I am better than my peers in handling them since I am less sheltered. Also, I am mad gleeful that I have NO debts (or like at least those that don’t involves necessary ones like edu fees lah) when I hear stories of friends racking up thousands in Victoria’s Secret alone wtf seriously how many bras do they need and then they go on to mull over how they are going to do their next manicure at this rate WTF MAX and are thus doomed to be forever stuck in this debt rat race.

    To be honest, how long can their parents pay their way for them? And attitudes and habits are shaped by upbringings and I noticed that those who are pampered normally tend to fall into the corporate world’s trap far too easy.

    You have lovely sensible parents and I think my respect for them just went up a little more 🙂

  • JoyceTheFairy

    i didn’t study overseas… and i couldn’t bear the thought of asking my parents cos it’s not like they’re damn rich and letting go of hundreds of thousands of rm is not easy! so i just made do with my local college dip. my dad paid for 😀

    and… i didn’t want to take a loan, cos i know i would just die having to pay it back and i personally thought that just make do with whatever education we could afford and everything is up to me from then on.

    ok i pity you and your car prob! i was using my mom’s old car for a while (with shitty brakes and i always feared my life while driving it) so i managed to buy my own 3 yrs ago. still, it’s not easy paying it off and i wonder how ppl with a normal salary do it.

    in the end, i feel like blaming the transport system in kl sometimes. (this is post holiday in uk blabbering! cos public transport is SO EASY THERE) seriously, dahlah a nice lifestyle is expensive here, and dahlah majority of ppl need a car based on our geographic layout… 🙁

    just do your best surviving without a car for now… it IS quite expensive to maintain it, pay for parking/toll/petrol, so i figure you’re better off suffering a bit and taking free rides/taxi for now… hugs.

  • Just Me

    Hi Aud, I’m 29 (ancient wtf) and married. I have 3 other siblings, and my parents were working class folks, my mum is a govt employee, and my dad who has since passed away had a business that was not so successful, poor dad, bless his soul.

    Anyway, just wanted to tell you that I went to a local private uni and worked real hard and graduated with 1st class Honours, thus my PTPTN loan was converted into a scholarship (Free). Then I went on to work, and being in the education line, my employers sponsored my Masters, but I was bonded to them for about 3 years. Thus my parents didnt have to pay anything for my education apart from my living expenses in KL.

    My other half was an ASEAN scholar who studied in S’pore and worked part-time teaching tuition so his parents who are regular working class folks didnt have to spend so much for his living expense in S’pore. He did very well in his studies and got a job abroad where we are living now.

    We know of many of our friends whose lifestyle, cars, wedding and even house are at least partially sponsored by their parents. Just a few days ago we had a cuddly talk session and we spoke of how happy that we have made our lives complete together, without having our parents pay for our tertiary education, wedding or our house. We might have really struggled then, but we are mighty proud to have gotten where we are today, and the feeling is just indescribable.

    Back then I soooooo envied my friends whose parents paid for their education in Australia, UK, US, but now I don’t regret it at all. Self-made success is the best. I hope our parents are proud of us.

  • Mouse

    The next time someone says that gen-yers have it good i’m going to hit that person over the head. Only a few give the whole generation a bad name ok. Most of us work our butts off to get to where we want to go.