AudVerbalDiarrhea

Baby love

From hereafter, you can probably see the difference between the 19 year old fourfeetnine and the 25 year old fourfeetnine

/start hysteria

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Pierre & Lay See’s baby’s full moon party.

Homaigatt I cannot believe I have friends who have babies!

(Colleagues don’t count cos they’re usually older anyway)

But friends!!!! Actually Pierre and Lay See are not my only parent friends because Chris and Shandy had theirs a few months back but I missed their full moon so it didn’t hit me wtf.

I am at the age where people are having babies!!!!

Getting married I can still accept wtf.  Get to be the prettiest girl of the day, have everyone’s eyes on you, throw bouquet, hope to live happily ever after with your soulmate (yes I know what the divorce stats are like wtf but whatevs)

But babies are a whole new ball game! Goodbye flat stomach, goodbye life, and hello sleepless nights and baby drool.

I guess it’s pretty obvious I’m not a baby person.  Or a kid person for that matter.

I’m quite terrified of babies. They’re quite cute (Lay See’s baby was dressed all in pink and a teeny flower headband) but I live in fear that some time someone will say “Hey Aud wanna hold the baby?” and I’ll attempt to and break its neck in the process wtf.

And I can’t relate to kids at all! I talk to them like they’re adults and should understand my reasoning when everyone else talks to them with the right combination of gentle authority. No wonder no kids listen to me.

And no wonder they pick on me -_- The latest example was at the full moon party when this 3 year old girl slapped my foot for no reason wtf.  Then refused to apologize when her dad tried to make her.  Probably because I was simpering like a fool “ahh no need la it’s ok heheheeh” wtf.

Anyway I’ve always been grateful that the baby years are still far ahead in my future.  So since when have they snuck up on my friends when my back was turned?!?

This freaks me out to no end T_T At the risk of sounding fucking selfish and shallow (but whatevs, I know I am), what if I resent my baby for destroying my stomach WTF.  Or for making me lose sleep. What if I don’t get along with my baby. What if the baby gets sick. Seeing Lay See so blissful with her baby makes me smile but what if I turn out to be a horrible person and don’t feel happy with my kid -_-

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But then I meet a baby like this.

This is Joanne’s baby and he looks like a miniature laughing Buddha T________________T

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Hahahahahahaha the first baby ever that I’ve wanted to carry T___T

edit: yes I know mothers will tell me don’t worry it’ll all be different when you’re holding your own child wtf and because I am a social sheep wtf it will probably be like that but this is for me to put down so next time if I do have children, I can look back on this entry and laugh at the stupidity of 25 year old me.

  • amber

    no worries! babies freak the daylight outta me too!

    it’s even worse if, let’s say, it’s your own kid, and that bugger’s horribly naughty! how to teach liddat?! u tell me la..

  • http://www.kimberlycun.com kimberlycun

    i scared i will resent my kids too. but i think my biggest worry is what if it’s aesthetically challenged? i know ppl say you’d think your kids are the most beautiful in the world but i don’t think i can lie to myself just like i know my nose is flat.

  • http://cityspontaneity.tumblr.com kehrol

    for posterity, my love. 🙂

  • angie

    I just want coco *heart*

  • Ee Lin

    Awww…your friend’s baby is really cuuuuuuuuuuute!!! <3

    I know what you mean, though I really really love kids & can’t wait to have my own, I don’t think I can handle it if my baby turns out to be the total opposite of what I imagined my baby to be! =/

  • http://utter-cookieness.blogspot.com/ xiang yun

    WTF I’m scared when people ask me to hold their babies too cos I’m sooo afraid of breaking their necks.. heck, afraid of breaking their anything! T.T I guess all that fear was due to a childhood trauma in which I saw (I grew up with a baby-sitter) my friend running across the room with a baby in her arms, she slipped and plopped the baby on the floor.. fuck the baby’s life -__-

  • http://kyspeaks.com KY

    hahahhahah he does look like a miniature laughing buddha. so awesome. hahahahha

  • strawberry

    if you wanna have a baby, be sure to do the dirty deed wtf in october so you can have a july baby!!!!!!! hahahahahha

  • strawberry

    or november? aiya dunno how to count lah just die die don’t let the baby come out until july!!!!!

  • http://fresh026.blogspot.com fresh

    omaigads i know how you feel about the breaking babies’ necks thing T______T i am totally clueless about babies as well, but thankfully little humans below 3ft and i have a mutual understanding to stay apart when we meet to avoid disasters wtf.

  • http://fourfeetnine.com Audrey

    amber: i’d slap him till he’s good! wtf

    kimberlycun: i wanted to say it too but thought it was too horrible! i know what you mean tho – what if the kid is just plain ugly and you can’t love it no matter what? *shallow 🙁

    kehrole: what’s posterity WTF

    angie: coco won’t answer back to you wtf

    xiang yun: WTF what happened to the baby then?

    ky: damn cute right hahahah

    strawberry: why must be july! my mom was born in july

    fresh: HAHAHA how about humans below 5ft? 🙁

  • http://anulife.blogspot.com liyen

    ROFL! i was going to say.. “hey! this baby looks familiar” cause i just glanced through your whole post.. then i went up and checked again! omg! he’s so adorable la!! feel like pinching his cheeks!!!

  • strawberry

    cos all the cool people were born in july! like your mom and me wtf hahahhahaha =P

  • Gabba

    don’t worry, right in the same boat as you. and i have friends who say that their ovaries will scream in excitement when they see babies. it worries me a little that i don’t feel that way even though we are young.

  • http://www.mochimochihearts.blogspot.com Jay

    haha that baby is so cute!

    I always find it quite fun to pick baby names and then few years later think about it and go URGH!

    xoxo

  • http://goingkookies.blogspot.com goingkookies

    haha.. i m worried too!!

    i love to carry babies.. but i m worried to actually carry one!! worry i’ll patah it’s neck like u said or dropped it.. sot right..