If you think my blog entries have been a bit distracted of late, here’s why:
I’ve been immersing myself in personal experiences which will all go into a self help book (my first ever!) I’m working on.
It’s going to be called “When Stupid Idiots Happen to Good People”
And this is the first draft:
When Stupid Idiots Happen To Good People
Being a Non-Dummy for Dummies
By Audrey Ooi
I dedicate this book to my nervous system, my blood pressure, and the various wooden pencils I break in times of extreme stress
***********************
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 : Instructions? What Instructions?Chapter 2 : Overcoming your ADD to read the whole article/email/blog comment/forum posting before you say something
Chapter 3 : Inbreeding – What it means for the future of humankind and idiocy, and learning how to say no if she has the same surname as you
Chapter 4 : Google is your best friend
Chapter 5 : Looking after your health – Switch your daily exercise from jumping to conclusions to exercising your sense of reason
Chapter 6: The Art of Listening and Learning – God gave you ears for a reasonChapter 7: Silence is golden (and a blessing to those around you)
**********************************
This is as far as I’ve gotten so far HAHAHAHA. Fresh contributed the title of the first chapter so I guess she deserves a foreword wtf.
For those still in doubt, obviously this book or draft is not real, it started out as a joke between me and Fresh – ok when I say joke, I mean defense mechanism against the hordes of idiots that all of us bravely face every single day of our lives.
Be it anonymous internet trolls, rumor mongers, teachers who don’t listen to you, friends who ask you stupid questions cos they can’t be bothered to find out for themselves, buffoons who talk on the phone and hit your car from behind, they all deserve a copy of this book wtf.
P/S: Nothing I said above should be taken seriously at all 😀
PP/S: You’ll never know how therapeutic writing this post was. Contribute a chapter or two of your own if only for your own peace of mind (or sanity) against idiots!
Comments (14)
Chapter 7: Battling delusions – fast tracking to real happiness by understanding your reflections on any mirror or reflective surface.
kim: HAHAHAHA “fast tracking to real happiness” i love your choice of words!
hahahaha do write this into a real book! it sounds promising 😀
You both should seriously write the book out!! It will be hilarious and a potential hit! You just never know… seriously.
haha I love this…especially chapter 3! I would buy if you published a book like this!
-Coco<3
Chapter 8: Find a face that looks like it cares- have a spoonful of cement and harden the hell up.
you know how sometimes when you’re working in a group assignment, and you have people who complain about how sick/busy/tired they are? as if you’re not in the exact same situation? or the whole “oh my fish died i need an extension”. yea. this is for people like that…
Chapter 9: Coming to Understand Why Even YOU Wouldn’t be Your Own Friend. Chapter 10: Common Sense: Sound Practical Judgement for the Truly Sad. Awe, write the book already lol. I wanna make copies of chapter 7 and paper mache some cars and houses *selfless. Must include Sibz chapter 8.
have an issue? here’s a tissue wtf
wah i have made it in life when i have a foreword dedicated to me! *trumpets
kamon babeh let’s get started, looks like this best-seller is in demand even before it’s written wtf.
Lol! This might be a good book afterall! Seeing that it already amuses me much to this level just by reading the foreword wtf, I’m so easily pleased lol!
This entry gave me a good laugh.
I find chapter 2 and chapter 5 particularly funny; chapter 2, because I have ADD, chapter 5, because that was really creative!
anonymous: haha if i keep meeting stupid people i will!
goingkookies: *looks at fresh. only if she says yes!
coco: hahahaa yay at first i didn’t know if anyone would get the inbreeding joke
sibz: HAHAHA u sound even angrier than i am!
amy: hahaha wah u so generous!
jammie: hahaha speak to the elbow cos the hand don’t care wtf
fresh: FASTER WRITE YOUR FOREWORD FIRST
vox: hahaha thankew thankew
kevl: HAHA i didn’t mean any offense to people with ADD T_T
lol.. haha ~
“anonymous internet troll”
HUH !?
When did that happen ? How ? Why ? I so curious la who the hell dares to troll our beloved 4feetnine !? D:< I rmb.. the last internet troll you wrote about was way back in 2008. Relevant: http://fourfeetnine.blorc.com/index.php/2008/04/22/how-to-marry-a-rich-man/