Inspired by Fatty‘s popular Things Shorty and Fatty Say series, here’s a special edition: Things Ah Ma says.
Since my parents are not around, Fatty and I took my grandma out tonight out for Christmas dinner.
So she sat across from us at the table.
Ah Ma: Why no customers one this restaurant?
Me: What do you mean? Every table is taken.
I turn behind to look at where she was facing.
After dinner Fatty stopped by at a watch shop to check out a watch he liked.
Ah Ma: Wah all the watches’ faces so big!
Me: Ya lah it’s the trend nowadays. Even mine is big, look at it!
Ah Ma: Ooooh. It’s good to have big watches I suppose, good to look at (she says this in Hokkien so she says the word good-looking)
Me: Ya they do look ni–
Ah Ma: Don’t need to look so hard can easily see the time.
I wander over to Fatty to look at the watch he’s inspecting and go back to where my grandma is sitting.
Me: Wah guess how much the watch costs? RM11,000. So expensive.
Ah Ma (incredulous): WHAT? RM11,000? GOT DIAMONDS AH?
Me: No, don’t have.
Ah Ma: Siao!
1 minute later
Ah Ma (looking at the girl talking to Fatty who’s got a crewcut and dressed in a coat and slacks): You think this person is a boy or a girl?
Ah Ma: No it’s a boy.
Me: No she’s a girl Ah Ma. See how small-sized she is?
Ah Ma: Your dad is small-sized too, nobody mistakes him for a girl.
While waiting for the elevator. The elevator takes some time to arrive so we end up waiting for a while.
Ah Ma: You know if there’s not many people waiting, the elevator won’t come.
Me (wondering what she’s talking about): Really?
Ah Ma: Of course la! You think the elevator is going to come just for you ah?