(in English, Courtesy Campaign)
This is my New Year’s resolution for 2013.
I don’t know if it’s just me or what but I think Malaysians are getting ruder and ruder! The Malaysians I’ve had the misfortune of encountering anyway.
Or maybe the older I get, the more intolerant I become of rudeness.
When we were in the US for Fatty’s work we got used to the politeness exhibited by the Americans whether they were just passersby or shop staff. Some nitpicks say that their greetings “Hi how are you” and please-s and thank yous are uttered automatically without meaning but whatever la I’d rather take fake compulsory courtesy than blatant rudeness. I don’t get the logic behind that.
Then when we touched down in KL, we naturally went to passport control and immigration. It was in the middle of the night. I went up to the immigration officer with my passport and said “Hello!”
Silence wtf.
After she was done stamping my passport, she handed it back to me again in silence wtf.
I said, “thank you.”
Stony-faced glare.
ಠ_ಠ
Unless you’re mute there is no excuse for this. Even if you’re mute the least you can do is smile acknowledgment la very hard meh? It’s early in the morning but if I can remember my manners, why can’t you?
I really don’t remember Malaysians being this rude! I was overseas for four years but every time I came back, while Malaysians were probably not unfailingly polite, at least we were still friendly-ish! At least we responded when spoken to wtf.
A couple of days after that, Fatty and I were in Publika buying magazines. I think it was the Tatler that featured our wedding haha and the ViVi issue I was in.
Fatty handed over money to the guy and said, “thank you.”
Silence again.
The third incident in recent memory was when I was in Isetan one day. I got into the elevator, and there were other people coming in after me so I held the door open for them.
As luck would have it, the elevator was broken wtf. The doors closed and opened repeatedly so we couldn’t move. So I held the door open again while the people all filed out.
I got out after them and saw they were already going in to the next elevator. I rushed after them and shouted “WAIT WAIT” but nobody moved and the door closed on me WTF.
OH MY BLOOD BOILS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. I KINDLY HELD THE DOOR FOR YOU WHILE YOU ENTER AND EXIT AND YOU CAN’T EVEN WAIT FOR ME TO GET INTO THE NEW ELEVATOR WITH YOU?
This happened a couple months ago but thinking about it again makes me want to break something! Preferably the elevator they were in.
I really don’t get it! At which point in recent years did we get so rude and disregarding of other people!
What’s wrong with taking one nanosecond out of your day to wish someone well or even just reply a polite inquiry!!!!!!!!
That’s not all.
Dunno if I’m just unlucky but I’m swarmed by thick skinned who don’t understand the concepts of queues. They think a line is actually a circle and, like a herd of cattle, will cluster around with no regard of the people who are actually civic-minded enough to line up.
Then when I tell them off, they will just look around all unabashed like they just realized there was a line and saunter casually to the back to line up. Like a proper human being.
And I cannot count the number of times driving, some idiot has edged into my lane with no hint of a signal light at all.
And they’re all either freaking taxis or big ass luxurious cars. Got money buy yourself some manners la!
I get so mad everyday dealing with all these buffoons! So bad for my blood pressure.
Fatty thinks all this rudeness and lack of civic consciousness does not occur in other countries because if someone does something like that, the people around will tell them off and the wrongdoer will be shamed.
So that’s my 2013 resolution – to tell off whoever is rude wtf. And to do it very loudly so everyone else can hear it.
I told Fatty and he’s convinced I’ll get myself beaten up someday wtf. But that’s what I have a Fatty for isn’t it?
And that’s what I’ve been doing!
Although the other day I did go a bit overboard. In my defense, I was already grumpy about something wtf. I was trying to get on to the escalator but there was a bunch of teenage boys standing in front of it blocking my way.
I shouted, “OY!” and they hurriedly scampered away wtf.
Thinking about it I feel a bit bad la. Luckily nobody else on a kempen sopan santun was nearby cos they’d be entirely in their right to tell me off too hahahahaha.
And today, when I clicked on my signal to move lanes, the car behind sped up on purpose so I couldn’t change lanes in front of him (even though before that he was like three car lengths away) -_____- I honked him wtf. I don’t know if that gets my message across but whatever la I’m tired of bottling up my emotions wtf.
The other day we were coming back from Bangkok so we went through immigration again.
I said “hello!” to the inspector.
Silence.
Undeterred, I looked over at Fatty who had passed the checkpoint and was waiting for me on the other side. “Another rude Malaysian! I said hello he didn’t say anything back.”
When the inspector handed me my passport, he said, “thank you.”
SUCCESS!
So who’s with me on this kempen sopan santun?
Mafia Aud wtf.
Comments (170)
(My intention was to point out that he lacked manners. Or basic etiquette, if you will. But I was boiling with rage that I couldn’t convey my message across properly. =/) Then he replied, smugly I might add, “I’m from Chinese school.” OHH WOW GENIUS! That certainly explains everything. PHROAR.nWhen I got to the car, I was so mad that I cried. Hahaha. Coz it dawned upon me as I was talking to him, that is the standard Malaysian attitude, and my heart died just a little. n(Awkwardly end he
re). (3/3)
Speaking of which that day I was at yr stall in Isetan. The sales girl was having PMS big time. Sour face all. Then I wanted to ask her for size but can’t find her. I thought maybe she went to the loo or something. I waited for her bout 15 mins and asked the sales girl from other stalls. No one knows where she went. She just disappeared when I was in the fitting room. Wtf.
Should have share this blog post to “listen jie”
Haha… But I think Singapore is also the same.
You are so outspoken ! Totally love that about you !
Wah thanks for the feedback!!! Do you remember what she looks like?
Gotten sick about the rudeness some of us Malaysian have. Wished there was someway we could change this bad habit. it’s really intolerant lorh! say thank you then silence. I’m with you Aud!
Doesn’t make it acceptable!
I agree! Singaporeans are worse ok? Can push you aside just so that they can grab a seat on the MRT/bus! When the bus driver greeted EVERY single person who boarded the bus I was on “Good Evening!” with a loud voice, not even a single one bothered answering him!nnWe should start all tweets related to this kempen with #kempensopansantun.
hi audrey, i agree with you that Malaysians are rude these days however i think you yourself is displaying rude manners as well. I personally feel that it would be nice to tell them off politely but not scrutinizing people in front of them. That’s really mean and childish..i would prefer someone telling me to be more polite than someone bitching about me in front of me if i was rude. Just my 2 cents anyway.
The problem is that we have tried telling people off nicely. Don’t you see all the comments left here telling about how those people ignore when you say softly or nicely?nnU missed the point entirely. I want to tell them off loudly so they will feel embarrassed by their actions. Its not that they dont know theyre wrong. They just dont care. One person telling them off they can justify that the person is crazy. But if many people look on and agree, they are forced to see their error.
Rude people are everywhere in Malaysia. Once I was lining up in McD during lunch hour and there’s this guy who pandai pandai cut my line. I asked him, “Are you lining up?” but he ignored me. So I talked to him again, louder this time, “Are you lining up? The line starts at the back. If you’re in a hurry, why don’t you just tell me and I’ll gladly give you way”. Then the guy just casually looked at the time on his phone and strolled away. Pfftt. Kempen Sopan Satun ftw!
i once yelled HEY YOU FUCKING IDIOT to a kid who wiped her ice cream on my dress. Does that count?
Hello Audrey, I want to say that your this post inspire me to blog about “sopan” and “not-so-sopan” incidents.nnYou are not just a beauty blogger, you inspire people with your writing.nnhttp://jojomei.blogspot.com/2013/01/inspiration-from-fourfeetnines-kempen.htmln
I’m so on your side! I am a Malaysian and I’ve been feeling disgusted of the rudeness of our countrymen. Can’t agree more with your Queuing point, living in Singapore makes me a ‘perfectionist’ when it comes to queuing, cut/jump Q in Malaysia seems too common and it’s become a culture, which is very unhealthy and bad for our country’s image. sigh
I literally went “:O” when reading about the elevator. OH MY GOD HOW RUDE IS THAT?! I would effing flip and yell at people. Stupid idiots.
Hi all, I just came back from Nepal and had a culture shock to my own countrymen, Malaysian. I was in the immigration saying Hi and Thank You to some stony faces, when I was queuing for toilet, some maroons just walk pass by and when I voice out telling them that the queue start behind me,
I’ve got myself a piss off faces. Whenever I’ve coincidently have eyes contact with some strangers, I’ll give them a smile but always got stony and weird faces from Malaysian. This is so different from what I’ve experienced overseas, people are very much polite than Malaysian do.
Love the campaign! Hope that all bloggers will write more responsibly and not to use the all-so-common “F” word in their blogs as well. n
Wanna share sth with you that happened to me just 5 minutes ago wtf.nnI was rushing to the elevator where I saw an aunty waiting outside of it. I’m pretty sure she saw me too cos we’re 100m away from each other and I was obviously running towards the elevator.nnBitch hurriedly entered into the elevator and closed the elevator door RIGHT IN MY FACE WTF. Man my blood is still boiling thinking about it now.nnI was on the first floor so I rushed down the stairs to the ground floor, … (1/2)
(2/2) waited for the elevator door to open and said “SELFISH” right in her face.nnAud are you proud of me? wtf.
Lol I think that one a bit subjective. Then might as well you start hoping Hollywood stops saying f words in their movies too. As long as you’re not intentionally being inconsiderate or rude I have no qualms.
HAHAHAHAHAH THIS IS THE BEST STORY EVER. I’m proud of your dedication and for pursuing the issue. And your stamina hahahahaha. nnGood for you! What was her reaction?
Your blog post just talked out what is on my mind actually.Well,not only Malaysian but foreigner did the same things sometimes.I have no idea why human being ruder day by day…it is very sad case but at least I’m staying in Japan right now and sometimes also met so rude Japanese during work!But most of them still very polite lol..Aud!!Waiting you having a ‘Kempen’ for changing human’s manner as well!! Yay!
Hi Aud! i wana join ur kempen sopan santun.. i share with u my story. in my office, i said thank u to my colleague when he asked me something. he said, no need to say thank u.. u just answer me yes or no is enough already. if u answer me rudely, i will feel “high” he said. =__= i’m like WTF? what world am i living in???
She just walked away as if she didn’t hear me wtf =.=’nnKempen sopan santun failed. oRLnnBest part of all this is that she’s my NEIGHBOR. The next time I see her I will kindly hold the elevator door and greet her nicely and hopefully she’d feel paiseh for her cavemen behavior (if she’s not thick skinned la wtf).
I was just to comment that it’s an Asian thing when I read the same bangkok treatment. I have lived in several countries to date and it’s true we lack the social graciousness in this part of the world. It could be an income thing, the lack of commitment from the government part to embark on a courtesy campaign (Singapore and HK do this from time to time and they have a short time lift effect) and generally cultural. n
So each time I hear people complaining about how rude Chinese nationals are, I would point out that such behavior seems to be present in other nationals too.nnAnother perspective is if most Malaysians are rude then those in the service industry must surely suffer the bulk of such treatment. After being number and not being able to retaliate in face of rudeness, they can’t respond in time to your politeness.
It’s not easy to rise above rudeness and respond with kindness, but we have to try, it’s the only way to stop this vicious cycle.nnSo I teach my child by emulating behavior I want her to copy – I am polite to all even the security, we say our thank you and give money/collect things with two hands. You will be surprised how many others will be inspired to return the same courtesy.
P.S. You know what, when I encounter rude customers, I just turn them away politely saying we are full. Usually rude potential customers are problem trouble maker thereafter. I want my staff to be treated with respect.
I agree! I’ve never stopped greeting or being polite to people especially service ones, hoping they will follow by example. nnBut besides that when people are unnecessarily inconsiderate or selfish, I think others need to tell them off or else they will keep doing it. They might not even realize they’re being rude so I see it as doing them a favor. Lolol.
I agree with u! Thats what i encountered in Malaysia too! Especially cutting queues and car lanes! And they are so unabashed doing it. I think its because no one had ever told them off thats y they think its alright to do sth like that.
memememememeeee! i’m so with you! my personal campaign is to keep being nice/polite and hoping it rubs off. sometimes i’ll repeat repeat until they respond. it’s like training babies lolo. #teampolitemalaysians
I AM ALL FOR IT! It’s really too frustrating to see that Malaysian manners are at the brink of extinction. Once when I was at the bank, I held the door open for a lady and smiled at her. Guess what? She glared at me and jeling her eyes at me like I’m so insignificant for her to acknowledge WTF -__-
Good for you! Some countries are generally “ruder” than others ( I speak as an overseas Chinese who frequently visits China), but that’s no reason to tolerate it! I applaud anyone who stands up to manners. I wish you all the success in holding up this resolution! And will definitely do it with you! Even “polite” North American countries are full of rudeness when you get to areas with a lot of students.
i can totally relate to this post!! i have never been to malaysia but received poor customer service in hong kong. i was trying to gauge the fit of a top so i casually pulled it over what i was wearing and a saleslady yanked it right off me, and exclaimed in an annoyed tone ‘miss, you’re not allowed to try on clothes like that!!’ she was so rude! and this was at a cheapy store. even in toronto, salespeople at high end stors are stuck-up. they judge whether you can afford to buy or just browsing.
Omg thank you for putting this into a post and letting more people know! Something has got to change. I have had it up to HERE with rude fellow Malaysians and I find it’s more common in KL (where I live) than Penang (where I’m from). I kind of unconsciously started my own kempen sopan santun recently haha. I even try to smile at passersby when I remember. Maybe I can teach through my actions, I dunno. And I honk at cars who cut into my lane without signal!! That one really cannot tahan -.-
Actually, it happens in HK too. People don’t actually push the open button for you when you go into an elevator. They rarely say thank you to the service people (which is perhaps why service people are rude and impatient), and they do not apologize when they bump into you. A far far cry from Taiwan where I’ve lived for 10 years. People say thank you all the time. Even my husband was surprised how nice and polite Taiwanese are.
Couldn’t agree more on some of the rudeness in m’sia. however i feel like u’ve taken the wrong thoughts on ur kempen sopan santun. so… u’re just being polite so u can get a reply of politeness? its not like those ppl r obligated to be nice n in kl, life’s busy and lots of pressure. i think that we should be polite just because we should and because we can. u’ll just get pissed off if u don’t get it back in return, n when u get pissed, prob will head towards the road of rudeness too 🙂
I don’t understand where you got it from that I’m being polite just to elicit a polite response. In fact I don’t even understand the logic behind that idea. nnI, like most everyone else here, are polite cos we were taught how to. Is it so unnatural (or wrong, as you were implying) that we wish to receive the same respect that we are giving others? nnIf any of us was being polite for the sale of receiving polite treatment, wouldn’t we have given up being polite a long time ago?
Also I find it ridiculous that you’re saying people in kl are too busy to be polite. What about people in Tokyo, New York or London – cities way busier than kl? That’s not an excuse. That’s just bad upbringing and culture on our part and therefore we should be striving to fix it, not give excuses.
I’ve heard the same thing about Hong Kong and Taiwan! I think it’s really a cultural background thing. Someone theorized that its because Taiwan used to be under the rule of Japan that’s why they’re more polite hahaha I don’t know if that’s true.
it doesnt happen in malaysia only.rnhappens in singapore alllll the time as well. rnexcept maybe our immigration officers are a tad friendlier? seriously i have no idea since i go through the automated machines now
Haha sigh it’s an epidemic wtf
Haa…Hate ppl that cut queues argh…Not only Malaysia have ppl like that in Singapore we also have ppl like that. Most of Singaporeans a bit don’t dare to speak up kind or scared one so these ppl took advantage of that . And they are damn irritating, for example they will appear to cut your queue for taxi when u urgently need to take cab. There was a time, I was so boiled up that when the person cut the queue and was boarding the cab I went up and demanded the person to get down! lol
1st of all, sorry that i may have misunderstood ur post, but in ur examples it seems like it. i still say hi n thx to rude ppl nevertheless, and like u said, i’ve been educated to and this is manners we’ve been taught we’re talking about. i’m not implying that it is wrong to wish to receive the same respect but they are not obligated to. and instead of being irritated by it, y not just take a step back? we will still choose to be polite, but it’s their choice of making themselves look like jerks
and sorry i may have sounded that ppl r too busy to be polite. it does sounds ridiculous when u put it that way. what i mean is ppl seem to forget the basics like manners when they r overwhelmed w their current life + pressure etc. and i would like to say that ppl in hong kong (prob the worst) and china r also very rude. u get told off for walking slow, and received “i kill their parents” look when i asked for the bathroom. and yes i totally adore japan for that reason. us customs r rude too.
Ooh I see clearer what you mean now! It’s true that people are not “obligated” to return the niceness but it doesn’t mean they’re in the right to forget their manners.nnMaybe getting angry is bad for my health la but I think we should all still get angry so that we are aware of it and try to make a change rather than be complacent and nothing changes.
Hi Aud, I agree with you! There’s this one time in Mid Valley where once lift reaches my floor, before I could walk out, people outside were rushing to go in. I got so mad, I ended up telling my mum who urge me to go out this, “How can I go out when all this people are rushing in without waiting for us to go out” in a really loud voice. Seriously, some Malaysian these days are really rude.