Taking up from where I left off, the five days or so after I delivered Fighter was quite an emotionally trying time for me.
Preeclampsia is supposed to resolve after delivery and I naively thought that once the baby and placenta were out, my blood pressure and everything else would go back to normal almost immediately.
In mild cases it does apparently but as my doctor never fails to remind me, mine was extremely severe and as such, it might not resolve right away. T_T
But I wasn’t prepared for worsening symptoms! I some more thought I’d be out of the hospital in a few days but instead my blood pressure got higher and higher WTF.
At times it was worse than even the worst reading before my delivery. I’m still at risk of having seizures which is why I’m still stuck here for observation and care.
But every time the reading came back high, I’d get very upset and cry. I worried that maybe my preeclampsia was so bad that it’s impacted me permanently. That I’d developed chronic hypertension at age 28 and was stuck dealing with it forever. And I worried about how it would affect my life and caring for Fighter and having future kids wtf. (Not that I want a lot of kids la I just like having options).
Coupled with the pain of a C section recovery… it wasn’t pretty wtf. Sitting up was already a bitch, what more getting in and out of bed to go to the toilet. So painful until I nearly asked for the catheter back up my pee hole so I wouldn’t have to force myself to get out of bed. Before the operation I couldn’t stand up straight cos I was too heavy, but now I cannot stand up cos it was too painful fml. I don’t know what recovery from natural birth feels like but I dunno why anyone would do an elective C section if they knew how shitty the recovery was gonna be. And painkillers didn’t even seem to work to reduce the pain.
Looking back on it now, it’s possible that it was post natal blues after all. I felt quite unhappy and irritable and even had trouble sleeping (which NEVER happens for me).
To be honest, I didn’t even want to have any visitors. My BP was still high so activity was still discouraged and I was actually thankful for that. The thought of seeing anyone and having to make conversation was exhausting. I knew people cared about me and wanted to know if I’m okay and I really didn’t feel like acting okay when I wasn’t.
I didn’t even tell my parents about this! They were already so worried and I dunno if they can take it wtf. One night only I confessed to Fatty and cried more. FML.
Then I also hated the way I looked. I was still bloated, my stomach still looked pregnant even though there was no baby — I thought it was gross how it was big but not firm like during pregnancy. I crazily thought I’d be ugly forever and I really didn’t wanna see anyone looking like this.
Thankfully two days ago it passed! I started peeing loads and lost 5kg in 2 days. Yesterday only I realized I could see my wrists again hahaha. My double chin (seriously I actually had one of those) disappeared. I actually had a tube (like a pool float) around my hips which was all wobbly and full of water and depressed the hell out of me but even that started to go down. So I started feeling better about myself.
Then as I recovered from the surgery I got more mobile and could visit Fighter more often! And I got to do kangaroo care with Fighter! Which made the whole world seem more colorful wtf.
Kangaroo care is supposed to be good for Fighter but I think it was nearly as beneficial for me too. ^^ Although the first time I held him I burst into tears. T___T Then Fighter also started crying and it was just a very emo experience hahaha.
Our first ever photo as a family! Too bad I look like shit. I’ve taken over Fatty’s role as the Fatty in our relationship wtf.
But this Fighter very smart leh! In his incubator he’s usually very restless and kicks around a lot even when he’s sleeping. But when I pick him up he straight
Happy feet. He’s very red because he hasn’t had time to put on fat yet and his skin is super thin. But I think yesterday and today he looks less red already!
My favorite photo EVER. Fatty put his hand in to touch his son and this Fighter just gripped his finger and wouldn’t let go. T_____T
Maybe he heard Fatty’s voice and recognized him as his daddy. And the look in Fatty’s eyes as he stroked Fighter… all the wonder and tenderness on his face made me fall in love with him a little more.
Fighter developed jaundice one day and they had to put him under the light. He usually wears a little preemie diaper but the doctor wanted to maximize the light on his skin so they let him wear a face mask (which will let in more light) instead. HAHAHAHAHA. The strings make him look like he’s wearking a bikini ahhahahaha damn cute.
Fighter holding Daddy’s hand again. He never hold my hand leh! Then can see this Fatty melting again. Clever ah this baby knows the way to a man’s heart wtf.
So in summary I’m doing much better now! Fighter is going strong and even managed to gain some weight the last two days and looks chubbier now. And while my BP is still high the past day looks like it’s slowly coming down bit by bit. I’m on the road to recovery!!!
Cannot wait till the both of us can go home and be a normal family.
Comments (71)
Hi Aud, great to hear that you and fighter are doing better now! I believe you guys can head back home soon! Can’t wait to see your family portrait soon! With you looking pretty, fighter looking handsome and fatty fat as usual! XD
Hello Audrey, don’t worry, your mummy glow will be the prettiest. Hope your BP can be normal asap and baby can go home together! Take care and looking forward for more updates.
I LOL-ed when I read this: ” I’ve taken over Fatty’s role as the Fatty in our relationship wtf”nWell done to you and Tim and Jude for doing so wellnHope you get your wish and get to go home soonnps: Those photos of Jude holding Tim’s fingers were majorly emo T_______T
And I respect you even more, Audrey Ooi. Such a tough mother you are. nI pray for all of you, may you get well soon. *hugs*
I think it is very strong of you to share with your readers even when things are hard. Your son is so very cute and as a faithful reader I am blown away with your honesty on the difficulties you are both experiencing. The photos of Fighter holding Fatty’s hand are so precious. It’s great that your spirits have been higher so shortly after birth! I know many mothers who are depressed a long time after birth. :c But not you! You are a great mom. 😀
Add oil Audrey! And fighter too!! Can’t wait to see you dress fighter up with tons of cutie clothes or maybe you can #hashtag on fighter’s ootd heheheee !
renal denervation. Could this be an option?
I just delivered 4mths ago. And had the same depression about my body image. It will get better, I promise. Will soon go back to wearing sexy tights. :)nnI like the pix of Fighter wearing the face mask. Seriously. So. Damn. Cute. nnDay 1 jaundice usually got start antibiotic oh.. I hope he will stay strong n fight fight fight!nnwww.queenzbeez.blogspot.com
You are a strong woman & mother. Thank you for sharing your experience. Looking forward to more updates from your home 🙂
I feel so touched after reading your post.nI did feel scared when my BP kept on increasing after delivering Dylan. I am glad it faded away a month later.nnThis is a wonderful post<3nnhttp://biglovehome.blogspot.com/n
I got all emo and teared reading this. My boy had jaundice, and it was so painful to see him under the light. You and fighter are doing so well. Keep it up! Very soon you will the “usual” Audrey we know 🙂
Audrey jiayou and all e best! Everything will fall back into place soon! Thanks for updating us. It’s precious to us readers too. 🙂 Fighter is very cute anyway. I love e pic where he is wearing a face mask lol Jiayou!!
Jude has big eyes like you! All the best in the road to recovery Audrey!!
Fighter was peeping at his dad in the last picture. Isn’t it amazing for such a tiny angel? He’s going to be one of the smartest kid ever 🙂 Rest and recuperate well, with a healthy bod you can go all out to doll up again. Looking forward to your updates.
Haha I dunno you tell me. I googled and it looks like a very new technology and not really available everywhere?
😀 So glad that you’re feeling better.nnMy friend had a natural delivery and the doctor cut 2 inches. I think her recovery is worse than my two c-sections. I think she couldn’t sit for 2 weeks or more. She told me that she’s just never the same again down there :SnnSo my conclusion is that childbirth is just shit whichever way it is. The person who invented thr phrase “the miracle of childbirth” is probably male.
You are AMAZING! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Congratulations, Audrey.
so glad to know you are feeling much better, and that fighter is making great progress 🙂 best wishes for the future!! 🙂
Audrey, you are really a great mum! Your word touches me! Stay strong and healthy 🙂
Lolol
Ahh.. So nice to hear u recovering well.. I refresh Instagram n imotive everyday just to see your updates.. Everything will be well.. No worries.. u will be pretty again n be a milf this time! 😛 nI had natural birth n also kena cut down there.. N I shared the same room with a csec mommy (i stayed in a confinement centre) I am already walking around on day 2.. N she told me she is still in pain after 2 weeks.. I guess different people heals differently although I heard natural birth heals faster.. My healing was quite fast.. In 6 weeks, my down there already feel/look like not much diff.. Like never gave birth.. But the only small difference is that I can never hold my pee anymore n will occasionally accidentally ter-peed if I sneeze too hard.. @_@
in my eyes you always look pretty, even at your worst *big wet eyesnnSO happy that fighter/you are recovering so well! <3 <3 name him tan kean li lah cause he’s a fighter like chun li and jet li and suet li wtf
zomg he’s super small! love those little feet =)
Jiayou, Audrey! You and fighter will soon in comfort of home!!
Get well soon! 🙂
So happy for yooouu!nSpeedy recovery for you so you can go home as a family 🙂
Fighter is looking better day by day!! And it’s so sweet when Tim held Fighter’s hand…Well I guess you and Fighter should be going home real soon =)
After natural birth, I have no urge to pee. I felt so scared that I have lost the most basic function to be able to go toilet.n
hi audrey. ive been a silent reader for quite a while now and never commented. but id just like to say that im glad ur feeling better now. 🙂 fighter will grow up to be a strong boy! congratulations to you and tim. <3
Hi Audrey,you r a v strong young lady to go thru all this n credits to ur hubby for being so supportive. nYou three will be a happy family in time to come, when u will soon see his first smile ur heart will melt I promise n u noe everything tt u gv gone they is all worth it. And, u will soon realize u are no longer living just for ur self, ur son will be depending on u n u will realize how important n influential u r to him just as he is to u. That’s the power of being a mother. Take care don’t give up n good luck.
Always been a silent reader but had to shout that this is the most interesting post by far..! nAnd I know the best are still yet to come. Expecting lotsa baby post from now on eh? hehe..nGood luck Audrey!! You’re a tough mom :o)
Aaww.. i love the pic of fighter grabbing daddy’s finger.. hehehe..nnspeedy recovery and wish you can go back home soon too 😉
hope Fighter will gain more weight each day and wish you speedy recovery.
Yay congrats Audrey!! I’m so happy for you!!! :’))nHahaha I was feeling on warm and fuzzy inside, then the part about the facemask came and I snorted my soya milk onto my laptop :X I hope you will have a speedy recovery, all the best!!!!!! 🙂
Hi Audrey.. I wanted to write a super long comment for u. But decided that this is enough: I am very touched n emotional by you and fighter’s bravery. 🙂 stay healthy n I’ll be praying for u.
Looking forward to all your updates.
Audrey, so glad to hear about u and Fighter recovering. Hope both of u will go back home ASAP healthy and happy. Take care. Lots of love :*
Denise, so can the thunder thighs and stretch marks at least faded until really fade or gone? Coz i am having the same and i also cried because of this. When i show it to my aunties, they said “eee” coz they were too surprised (they are lucky to not having the same). That makes me even sadder. My stomach literally look like watermelon with the marks T_T
I pray for your speedy recovery an hopefully you will return to you pre pregnancy body asap 😉 try not to use stomach strength and dont move too much, dont sit too much. I had cyst surgery before and i sit a lot in front of computer, dont know if this is the cause but i developed keloid. I heard there is anti keloid cream so maybe you can ask for it from doctor 🙂 nCant wait for Fighter to go home with you and Tim!
Reading this post almost made me cry. I felt very touched somehow. May be because I’m a mother too. Everything will be okay. *thumbs up*
Greatest mother on earth *thumbs up*
Thanks Aud for sharing those heart-warming pix!!! You are positively glowing with the lovely motherly glow when I saw your pix in Austagram! I think Baby JM resembles you more leh, cos his lovely eyes looks rather big ^_^
O! I loved the Instagram pix! Keep em coming! He is a cutie 🙂
YAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! Seriously i was beaming away at your post, so happy for you and Tim and Fighter that you and the baby are much better. Continue to get better and stronger and spam us with cute pictures of you as a gyaru mummy with cutie Fighter!
I recently had an emergency C section myself and I followed your situation closely cos I was worried bout you. I developed an infection during labour and spent 10 days in hospital and underwent many tests. I know how shitty the healing is, but remember all these will pass with time. Had my first baby 3 months ago and just got back my pre-pregnancy weight and also moving around without much pain now. You need to move more no matter how painful it is so your recovery will be faster. Trust me, you can do it. You might look aweful now, that’s what pregnancy does, but your hubby loves you even more now and you can now call yourself a mother! 頑張ってね!みんな応援してるからさ。
your son is beautiful
Absolutely beautiful, Fighter and you and Fatty :’) Get well soon a’ite!
we’re all looking forward to the day your family goes home as a whole ^^
keep strong,Fighter 🙂
Congratulations on the birth of Jude. One of the hardest part of life, is at least over, for now.nIt is normal to feel emotional in the first few days, and even weeks postnatally. It’s also normal to still feel bloated and ‘unattractive’, soon after delivery. All these things mark the sacrifice of motherhood, which makes the experience even more precious. These are not permanent and you will be back to normal down the track, :)nI truly believe that Fighter, Fatty and you are blessed, the fact that so many people have offered their fragrant prayer