AudBaby

More things the critters say

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Seems like I only update my blog for Things Fighter and Penny say now.

But they’re so worth saving!

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We asked the kids the classic train question:

 

There is a runaway train going down the railway tracks. Ahead, on the tracks, there are five people tied up and unable to move. The train is headed straight for them. There’s a lever next to the track.  If you pull this lever, the train will switch to a different set of tracks. However, you notice that there is a baby on this second track. What do you do?

  1. Do nothing, in which case the trolley will kill the five people on the main track.

  2. Pull the lever, diverting the trolley onto the side track where it will kill the baby

 

The kids unanimously: “Kill the baby.  Because the baby is young, it can easily be reborn and get back quickly to its current age.”

Hahahahah what’s your answer?

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Fighter: “Mommy, did Japan ever get conquered?”
Me: “No. Japan conquered other people.”
Penny: “That’s not fair!”
Fighter: “No, I mean like a long time ago.  Before World War 2.  Like in 1506” (??)
Me: “Yea, they didn’t.  You know the book I’m reading now is about Japan in the 1500s?” [I was reading Shogun by James Clavell.]
Fighter: “What was it like then?”
Me: “Well, there were samurai.  Do you know what a samurai is?”
Fighter: “Yeah.  It’s those fat guys who wrestle.”

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Us watching Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, the scene at the end where Dumbledore cancels school exams.

Dumbledore: “As a school treat, all exams have been canceled!”
Penny: “Woo hoo!  I wish my school would do that.”
Me: “Do you even have exams?”
Penny: “What’s exams?”

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Us reading a book about Julius Caesar.

Me: “Penny! Julius Caesar was killed on 15 March something AD!  Your birthday!”
Penny: “How old was I?”
Me: “You weren’t born yet.  This was 2000 years ago.”
Penny: “Oh. How old were you then?”
Me: “Am I 2000 years old, Baby?” -_-”
Penny: “Oh.  How old was Ah Chor (great grandmother)?”
Me: “Is Ah Chor 2000 years old?”
Penny: “How about my antessors?”
Fighter: “She means ‘ancestors’!!” *howling with laughter*

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Penny: “I can see pi sai (boogers) in your nose Dada.”
Dada (her nanny): It’s not pi sai, its something else.
Penny: “No it is I can see it hanging there.”
Dada: “Why you so rude Baby” *trying not to laugh*
Penny: “What is it if it’s not pi sai? Is it spider web?”

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The critters are really into riddles right now.  And they’re pretty good at coming up with answers too!

Fatty: “What has one eye but cannot see?” [the normal answer is a needle]
Penny: “Tornado!”

Correct also and I thought it was very clever of her hahaha.

Fatty: “What must you break before you use it?” [the normal answer is an egg]
Fighter: “Disposable chopsticks!”

Also correct and very relevant hahaha.

Fatty: “I have no life but I can die.  What am I?” [the normal answer is a battery]
Fighter: “Fire!”

Fatty (answering his phone in the middle of asking riddles): “…tomorrow you settle already?”
Penny: “I don’t get that one, Daddy.”

Hahahahahaha this girl knew Daddy was answering his phone and turned it into a joke.

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We were having dinner at a friend’s house.

Fighter: “Why are your utensils gold in color?”
Penny: “Because they’re rich!”

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Penny (pooping in someone else’s house): “I cannot poo because my backside not used to the shape of this toilet.

(proceeds to poop anyway)

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Me: “Eww! Who farted [in the car]?”
Fatty: “Me.”
Penny: “Ewwww! Why do I have to be the one sitting behind you!  Because Daddy’s backside is behind him and I’m behind his backside!”
Fighter: “Headshot.”

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Reading a book about school uniforms.

Penny: “Uniforms are good cos bullies will have one less thing to focus on.”

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Penny: “We’ve decided.  When we grow up me and Koko are going to get married and stay together.”
Me (grossed out): “Brothers and sisters can’t get married! And they definitely can’t have babies together!”
Jude: “Oh.  Okay, we’ll just live together.  And we’ll adopt.”
Penny: “Because I don’t want to cut my stomach.”

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