(procrastinating from doing economics test – guilt prevents me from writing too long)
Yesterday I missed a documentary on the Travel Channel on America’s haunted sites – one of which is Mount Holyoke’s Wilder Hall! – because I went to watch the American Ju-On aka The Grudge.
The Grudge is shit.
And I missed real ghost stories for it. =(
After we turned off our lights, me and Beth started talking about the documentary and moved on to telling each other ghost stories. She told me about Gettysburg, which is apparently the most haunted place in US and is 45 minutes away from her house.
Because the Battle of Gettysburg was fought there, even today people can see soldiers walking about and I dunno, firing cannons or something.
And I of course told her about our Malaysian stories like the Highland Towers stuff that Dinesh told us about last time and all the Genting and Karak highway stuff.
After we were done,….. *silence*
“Erm, do you mind if I turn on the lights?”
(said quickly) “Yeah yeah turn on the lights!”
We went to sleep with the lights on. (We almost resorted to watching Shrek at 2am to unscare ourselves).
WWWWHHHEEE!!! The heater is on!
I can wear spaghetti straps in the room without catching pneumonia!
I can wake up and get out of bed without shivering uncontrollably!
I am in a good mood!
Unfortunately, Beth the roommate is not.
She is sweltering and making herself even hotter by cursing profusely.
You can’t have it all.
I finished my laundry at 2.30am.
And washed dishes at 3am.
The work of a housewife is never done.
For the first time ever, I actually got electrocuted by my laundry basket. (- -“)
This is amazing! My laundry basket has joined the ranks of blenders, VCD players and kitchen sinks. (read profile at side)
I was pulling out my clothes from the dryer into my laundry basket and wondering why my thigh kept feeling like it had jolts of pins and needles. Then I heard sparks sounds.
WHAT THE HELL IS WITH ME AND SPARK SOUNDS?! (read burning maggi mee entry)
I looked down and realised in horror that whenever my leg touched my laundry bag, a spark sound would be emitted and my leg would get the pins and needles feeling of kena shock.
WTF!
My laundry bag is the foldable kind and the only part of it being metal is the frame of it… you know like those suction sunshades you put on your car windows? The only way I can think of it getting enough static electricity to shock me is that my thermal underwear somehow produced static eletricity inside the dryer and transmitted it to my laundry bag, who transmitted it to me.
WHY OH WHY!
Tonight, was at Angela’s room with Yen watching Princess Diaries I (Angela had cleverly downloaded it, thinking that it was actually Princess Diaries II)
Suddenly, Joan, Angela’s roommate burst in and beckoned Angela out of the room.
Angela ran out, then ran in and pulled me and Yen out into the hallway.
And we heard:
“OH… OHH… OOH…..” (at 10000 decibels)
People having sex.
It was so loud that ELizabeth and Antonella heard it when their TV was on. Their first thought was that someone was watching porn.
It was so loud that Joan heard it while she was blow drying her hair in the bathroom which is the other side of the hall.
Half the residents of the floor came out to investigate the weird noises.
All of us just stood there as still as lizards outside the door of whoever was having the time of her life (and wanted everyone to know it) and listened to the groans/moans/screams/whines.
All hands were clapped over mouths to prevent giggles/cries of disgust.
Then Lucia comes running down the hall behind us, yelling “Why is she here! Who brought her in!? She shouldn’t be here! Someone take her away now!”
Angela said, “What? Who are you talking about?”
Lucia continues in an agitated manner, “The kid! She’ll be traumatised by it! I’m taking her away now!”
She grabs me by the shoulders.
I turn around and stare at her, perplexed.
She stares at me for a second and says, “Oh! Audrey it’s you! I thought you were a six-year old kid or something!”
“……….. ”
She fcuking thought I was a six year old girl!
Let me die, let me just die.
I have done something stupid again both yesterday AND today.
Yesterday, I stole a book from the library.
It wasn’t on purpose okay, after using the book for reference, I meant to put it back on its shelf in the archive where it belongs. But is it my fault that the archives are so far away from the main area?
Of course not.
Neither is it my fault that I unwittingly brought the book all the way back home.
Nor is it my fault that I forgot to sneak it back in today.
Oh and if you’re wondering, it wasn’t even anything remotely interesting for example Doraemon comic or maybe Penthouse.
Today’s stupid deed… well, today’s stupid deed will just have to stay a secret won’t it?
Because it is infinitely embarrassing and I will never forgive myself if I announce it on my blog.
It is more embarrassing than getting up on stage and dancing the Mammee chicken dance and winning first prize.
It is worse than soaping myself with moisturiser for one month.
It is more painful than jabbing yourself with your nail in your nostril because Jia Min’s car went over a pothole.
It is more horrifying than wearing your long johns out of your room.
Therefore it shall remain a well-kept secret only in the mind of Audrey Ooi.
It has occured to me that many of you like to read my blog just to see my humiliating escapades.
This is not flattering to me at all!
Why don’t you read my blog because you like the color pink or because my eyes mesmerize you?
From now on, my blog shall be a serious one and portray me in a sensible and goddess-like light. Which is, to be honest, the REAL me.
Move, over Mother Teresa!
*Symbol of intelligence and goodness*
So how about that Iraq war, huh?
Don’t you think its about time for a nice long blog entry filled with random pictures that I forgot to upload earlier?
YES YES YES!
*clears throat* Where shall we start?
Okay, let’s follow the sequence of photos I took.
::This is a picture of a fly caught in a spiderweb. Its buzzing kept me from studying::
Did I mention that me and Beth bought Christmas lights to decorate our room? Unfortunately it doesn’t look anything like Christmas lights, or so I think.
::Siao roommate with precious lights::
::We wrapped the lights around our fire sprinkler::
::Unfortunately, lights cannot stay up without assistance of horrible patches of duct tape. Oh ya, this is beatifully situated RIGHT ABOVE MY BED. Have half a mind to paint duct tape white for camouflage::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
This week is Elfing Week! This is yet another tradition at Mt Holyoke where sophomores act as elves for their chosen freshmen and leave them gifts and surprises all over the place.
I woke up this morning, blearily stumbled out of bed and grabbed my toothbrush without putting on my glasses.
I opened the door to find this:
::”WTH?! BETH!!”
and this left outside my door:
::YAY!!! Candy AND some pink thing! (I think its some kind of version of a Swiss Army Knife)::
::The door was papered all over. Clever Aud, lacking grey matter in the morning, crawled under it instead of tearing it open.::
It didn’t occur to me okay! Jessie and Divya’s roommate last year, Danielle was even dumber; when she woke up and found her door papered over, she tried to use their 2nd door instead. (Their room was really big so they had 2 doors).
They woke up to find Danielle trying to push away the bureau that was blocking the 2nd door.
Anyway, funnya! Wahahahah I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow morning and see what they left for me!
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Last Saturday night was Las Vegas Nite, which is this big party where they open casino and club and the night where Mt Holyoke will feel the most coed in the entire year.
“……”
Anyway!
::What wound any event be without me and Angie taking pan cute pics?::
::Can see our wristbands for entry?::
::Elise, Angela, Joan, me. Shit, I look so fat here!::
::Bloody fool, never wait for me to take this pic. I was busily helping everyone to keep their coats thus not in pic. Mai, Jeannie, Elise,Sherri, Angela, Joan::
::*ahem* Here I am, at the Blackjack table, busily winning loads of money::
(eh, why this pic terlampau besar suddenly?)
::Self-explanatory::
::Paul, me, Angie, Kevin::
::And this is a pic of me for no reason. I am in actual fact picking my nose. Wahahah!!::
Okay, tired already.
Fuck!
My Maggi mee caught fire!
I felt like having a nice nourishing meal of Maggi Hot Cup chicken flavour.
So I opened one and stuck it in the microwave.
Mana tahu, 25 seconds later (I checked the timer), I suddenly saw sparks flying inside the microwave and weird fire cracker-like sounds.
Shit, don’t tell me the microwave is going to explode.
In a heroic manner, I stabbed the stop button and then gingerly pried the door open.
The sparks had gone, thankfully but the cup was burning.
With flames.
But small one.
So I blew it out (feeling a bit like blowing out birthday candles).
Anyway burnt foil and melted plastic is poisonous if ingested so obviously I didn’t get to eat my Maggi.
And it was the last cup too. =(
No dinner for me. =(
::Piece of shit::
I have decided to change the picture you see on your left to one that I made myself because I don’t like plagiarising other people’s work.
Unfortunately, Paint does not seem to be working with me and in a fit of ambitiousness, I have downloaded Adobe Photoshop CS trial version.
Photoshop turns out to be even worse and I have acknowledged myself to be a illiterate idiot, albeit one with an IQ of 118. This is how I know.
But! I will keep on persevering, as I got a really damn good idea on what to do. Will try it out tomorrow when my eyes don’t hurt this much.
Anyway seeing as its so late at night for me, I shall scare all of us by telling ghost stories.
Okay, A ghost story.
(It just occurred to me that I am telling a ghost story even though my dorm, Porter Hall is situated directly opposite Mary Lyon’s (the founder of Mount Holyoke College) grave.
Fcuking freaky.
But in a desperate attempt to get more readers, I shall continue with the ghost story.
There is a residence hall here called Wilder Hall.
Now I usually like Wilder because it has a very good dining hall even though the food there is supposed to be kosher and halal.
Anyway, it is haunted.
(Haha no buildup also right? It is because I suddenly decided I want to sleep soon so I just get straight to the point)
In the lounge of Wilder, there is a painting of a woman. (I don’t know what woman though).
And apparently, she comes out of her painting at night and roams the corridors, so you’re probably doomed to die of fear if you break curfew and come back late and bump into her.
She was so disturbing that the college authorities decided to take the painting off the wall. But for some reason, they couldn’t even lift the painting off the wall.
So they had to leave it there. And they hung another painting on TOP of the woman and covered the whole thing in a flat plastic box.
I kaypohly went to go check it out and indeed, it is creepy because the painting they put on top of it is one of like an olden Chinese emperor, who looks Manchu, with the pigtail and all.
I can’t imagine the woman would look scarier than an old Manchu king.
This is the reason why I will never ever live in Wilder, no matter how good the food is.
Okay due to popular demand, it is time to post up pics of fall at Mt Holyoke.
Personally, I don’t get what is so great about fall. You can get all the red and orange colors you want in spring anyway, plus you don’t get muddy, soggy, ROTTING leaves sticking to the back of your beloved pink Tommy Hilfiger sneakers, making you feel like throwing up and grabbing a knife and sticking it up somebody’s nostrils.
Okay, too vengeful sounding. Must make sure not to publish this or I will start losing friends.
No lah, just feeling tired today.
Anyway!
::View at my doorstep::
::I tried to berlagak artistic while taking this pic but tak jadi::
::Erm, somewhere on campus::
::Another attempt at artistry:D But mostly just to showcase the pretty red leaves::
::View of the lake. Can you see the weetle duckie?::
::The devil goose that tried to run after me while I was attempting View of the Lake. Don’t think it appreciates that I’m giving it its 5 minutes of fame::
::More of The Lake. Nice hor the reflection of the trees in the water?::
::Sorry, I was obsessed with color in water:D::
::Fake cherry blossoms. Haha they’re leaves, but I like it so much because it is PINK::
::View of the lake from the bridge::
::More lake!::
I wanted to take pictures of the waterfall too, but I was afraid that my camera would drop into the water.
After all, look at the number of Boat Society members who have dropped screaming over the rapids to their nightmarish, dragged-out wet deaths.
Seeing as Chung Jia Min (oh no Min, why am I referring to you by your full name these days?) is a sad left out basket case with no doll of her own, we shall costruct a doll for her.
HAHAHA!! No la, wrong pic.
Let’s do it again.
Does it look like her? I chose the biggest pair of eyes I could find.
The old me! See the blue sneakers, army print skirt and pink top that Ruth hates!
Wahahah I am so mou liu.
Question to ponder: Can you get darker sitting under yellow light?
I’ve been wrapped up in layers and layers for over a month now and I don’t see my complexion getting fairer.
I’m amazed at myself for coming up with this question. *pats self on back*
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