Century egg

A while back I met this middle aged woman at a party carrying a Prada bag.

I was sitting at a table full of women my mom’s age and only me and Tim were er below age 25 wtf.

Another auntie mentioned briefly to us about how this woman had a huge collection of handbags.

Thar she blows.  Cannot stop talking about her handbag collection.

I bought this bag very cheap only… even the scarf on the bag is only RM700…so cheap ok what do you mean expensive?  Oh ya the bracelet that goes on the bag was also cheap… only RM2050 (wtf)….oh and my Birkin?  The Puan Sri got it for me, if not how else can I get it?  You know the waiting list for it is 3 years you know… I also wait 3  years already  still couldn’t get it until the Puan Sri stepped in for me.  oh ya and my son came out to work already bought me a Prada bag he is really filial…

Then on to next topic which is her shining son. (for another ten minutes)  Talked about how he didn’t need to study also can get first class honors la…. got his masters when he was dunno how old la… and then told everyone how she didn’t spend any money on her bags until she put her son through school.

Felt like vomiting.

Had to keep drinking iced water to keep my face from grimacing.

Where got people like this wan! Show off also show off until so obvious!  All it took was one word about her bags and off she went like a runaway train on speed.

And ironically I thought she was uneducated WTF.  Cos her English wasn’t very good and she couldn’t even pronounce some words right (she said “my’s” instead of mine WTF)

I thought she could have been one of the lucky women who married a man who might not be so rich at first but through sheer hard work made it big later on in his life.

But it turns out she is quite educated!

But aih I thought she was not very classy (in terms of speech & behavior)

Already had not a good impression of her, she had to ruin it further right before we went home by telling Tim “wah your girlfriend looks like a kid!”

At first I didn’t mind because everyone thinks I’m younger than I am anyway.

Dunno how Tim did it!  He always said his temper is his worst fault but many times I think he’s more patient than me.  He just smiled and asked “how old do you think she is Auntie?”

The woman waved her hand dismissively and said “cannot be older than 16 la.  Not scared later police come catch you ah?”

WTFTWTFWTFWTFWTWFWTW

SAY I LOOK LIKE A KID NEVER MIND. THEN ACCUSE MY BOYFRIEND OF BEING A PEDOPHILE?

Seriously.  So no class.

Ok I admit I didn’t say anything when she said that.  The party was at the house of someone I quite like and I didn’t want to embarrass anyone.  Plus I’m Chinese and she’s got a gazillion years on me and I was raised on Confucian values not to be rude to your elders. (and really really elder ok)

Hello Auntie did 50 years of your life not teach you anything about having some tact and class?

FIFTY YEARS! 50! GO JUU NEN!  FIVE DECADES.  HALF A CENTURY.  If she was an egg she would be a century egg WTF.

All black and fermented.  (and quite good to eat wtf)

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49 Responses to Century egg

  1. Lisa Cheah says:

    Haha! Haha!
    Well, always look on the bright side?
    At least you would always be forever young!

    People like her probably pay loads of money to be where you are! And you do it without effort.

    Just saying.

    OMGROFLOLBBQ! :P

  2. daniel says:

    hahaha.
    very very nice ending there . lol
    i cant stop laughing . century egg . rofl.

  3. love.hearts. says:

    haha….love the comparison with a century egg. u are a genius! lol..

  4. xiangyun says:

    Oh my.. I can sense your wrath from here too! Damn, she needs to be bitch-slapped by you right on the spot!

  5. chefmel says:

    hahaha! i thought you were really gonna write a post about how you peel century egg or smtg.. turns out to be an old lady. Heheh. Anyway some aunties are really bitchy. :P

  6. Calypso says:

    Ergh i hate listening to old braggy women. Its bad listening to it first hand, its worse when your mum tells you about them and it almost sounds like a subtle hint.

  7. hana says:

    If she was an egg she would be a century egg WTF.

    HAHAHAHA LINE MADE OF WIN XD

    totally assumed you were gonna ramble about food or food poisoning and it turned out to be something so totally unrelated.

    love your randomness XD

  8. Elaine says:

    Hahahahahh~ It’s normal for those aunties to brag about their “konon-nya” luxury life. I experienced before too…

    Aiya, dont bother about her la! She’s the black and fermented century egg anyway! hahahah~

  9. Hayley says:

    hah i met this kinda aunty also.. keep bragging and bragging.. i think what we can do is try to ignore their conversation and make them feel we are bored of them..

  10. twinkle says:

    Eh, you didn’t reply her like this,” Eh.. I use ‘Cap Parang’ bag almost the same like yours la Auntie. Same designer laaaa! But I am the smarter one laa..spend less, get the same one’. Hehehehe after that she will be preaching on the differences of Cap Parang and her so called cap apa ntah bag la.

  11. Crystal says:

    lol…its best to just ignore that kind of person…this kind of ‘aunty’ is seeking for attention…

  12. annant says:

    da other day, when i was in waiting hall, an ol’ couple were like bragging bout their children…where they are living la (us sg uk), their edu la (lawyer, dr, phd)… how the get to travel all around la…
    walao so sai meng =.= …eh enough and shut da fark up la…so wanted to say that but mami says cant be rude to folks wo :(

  13. Bah! I hate Aunties like that. Reminds me of those Aunties that used to put their freaking faces in my face and critisize it. These kinda ppl are just insecure about themselves and have to flaunt what they have to the world, and attack everyone else.

  14. Damn spelt “criticize” wrong.

  15. Ping Ping says:

    The last line was the bomb. HAHHAHA…I can sense your anger. =) Cheer up, it’s not easy to be 24 and yet look like below 16 ok? Although it might not be a good thing now, when you are 50, people say you look like 30++ would be great. =)

    I know, my mum has friends at her work area who are always showing off and then some more dare to perli my mum (ie. You don’t have meh?) after that. There are many times I want to tell them off but my mum told me not to be rude. CAN’T STAND SUCH AUNTIES LA!!!!!

  16. dolly says:

    HAHAHA~~ even u were angry [maybe] when writing this post, but this post still sounds funny as your usual post. =____=”

    cheer up sweetie~ ~
    HAHAHAHA~~ not worth get angry on a century egg right?

  17. Mellissa says:

    Farkkk she has a Birkin bag?!?!?!?!?

  18. sweatlee says:

    eh why u never tell me about this! i like century eggs wtf with porridge damn nice

  19. Francesca says:

    ohh gosh so obnoxious !
    in a way it must be fun to listen to her cos she thinks she’s all that

  20. kristy says:

    Honestly, u’re surprised? Err…you ARE short, very very short. It will be sadder if you look old in a short body lol

  21. Audrey says:

    lisacheah: haha looking young & looking like a kid is 2 totally different things!

    daniel: haha thankss

    love.hearts: haha thanks. i was just typing rubbish tho

    xiangyun: no la not bitch slapped! but i thought it was annoying that she thought she had the right to make such bad jokes because she is richer and older

    chefmel: but some aunties are nice too :D

    calypso: haha what’s ur mom hinting about?

    hana: haha thank u!

    elaine: maybe theyre proud of their achievements which i dont blame them! but very tactless to say things like that :(

    hayley & crystal: ya i thikn the most we can do is just keep quiet about it. then rant later wtf

    twinkle: HAHA cap parang?!

    annant: dunno i think bragging about kids still makes abit of sense cos u can’t blame them for being truly proud of them. but this woman went on to connect her son with another of her bags = =

    pinkpaperplane: haha isit all aunties? or other ppl also?

    ping ping: ya we’re all brought up to be polite to elders!

    dolly: hahahah ya thanks donna T3T

    mellissa: apparently!

    suet: forgot! only remembered when i wanted to blog. ya i love century eggs too /slurp

    francesca: hahaha ya it was quite interesting to hear her talk actually

    kristy: hello kristy u sound jealous! and like you’re trying to be mean. when did i say i was surprised? of cos i know i am very short. do u think i pulled my blog name out of nowhere? either ways, nothing licenses a person to make inappropriate jokes especially when its not just to me but my bf.

  22. yiwin says:

    “If she was an egg she would be a century egg WTF.”

    this line really got me cracking!

  23. gingerelf says:

    Hehe. my mum is a classy lady and when such ladies brag in front of her she just listen and smile. such grace! I now understand secured people don’t need the oohs and aahs to feel good. So arr actually that means that’s the only means they know how to feel good about themselves lah. quite kesian actually. But ya it’s still a pain :)

    On another note, I’m 25 and a lecturer and people always say I look very young. I’m not lah. But I reckon I’ll enjoy the compliment when I’m 33, have my own publications and books and people still say I look young. WAAAA so happy!!!! *syiok sendiri*

  24. Magnolia says:

    I share your sentiments. This lady need people to suck up to her cos she hv such low self esteem of herself. So she run others down to make herself feel good. Quite a B***h ! I believe she is probably lonely too… quite sad.

  25. ailing says:

    Hahahahaha
    “If she was an egg she would be a century egg WTF.”
    Boy, Audrey you’re funny! But dun worry about looking younger than you actually are cuz I’m the same. When I was at work I always got this ‘ Hey school girl you should not be here!’ or people tend to think I’m the trainee wtf.

  26. Raymond says:

    hahaha..

    jz keep quiet and let her show off.. we lost nothing but she lost her reputation..

  27. hahahaha…

    she’d be a half a century egg. Not really a century egg. Therefore the lack in taste(class)..Forgive her..it’s not her fault she is not a century egg yet. :P

  28. Bags, sons…don’t forget diamond rings and cars -__- there are too many of these aunties around. Show-offs. Sigh.

  29. jess says:

    It’s so obvious that u r jealous.. r u sure u won’t be like that lady when u r ‘century egg’?

  30. Suzanne says:

    Hehe Audrey.. I reli like the way you write about these people. Just so plain annoyin rite? those non-stop showing-off aunties..just like some of my mum’s frens who call periodically & consistently to compare me with her kids + showin’ offs -_- !!!

    But anyway. Just stay kewt and pretty ! your blog rocks! :) )

  31. racheal tan says:

    Hahhaha…I like it when u say:

    ‘FIFTY YEARS! 50! GO JUU NEN! FIVE DECADES. HALF A CENTURY. If she was an egg she would be a century egg WTF.

    All black and fermented. (and quite good to eat wtf)’

    Hahhahaha…I can’t stop laughing about it.

    Anyways, let that century egg aunty say whatever she likes. You know you’re well educated and well mannered (special contribution to your daddy and mama ooi).

    So you’re fine my dear girl! Always love the way you express yourself in your blog :)

  32. Abby says:

    I HATE IT WHEN PPL SAY I LOOK LIKE A KID

  33. Audrey says:

    yiwin: hahaha thanks

    gingerelf: i think its great that u look so young! ppl will respect u even more that ur young yet so accomplished :)

    magnolia: ya maybe she feels she needs to brag about herself so ppl will look up to her :(

    ailing: Same! my colleagues are always saying they’re hiring child labor wtf

    raymond: haha ya ur right :(

    fresh.oysters: hahaha ur funny

    jess: dont get u. why jealous?

    suzanne: ya haha i think some parents can be competitive about their kids too!

    racheal: haha actually i thought the bragging was just amusing… but the joke about tim being a pedophile was damn off!

    abby: hahaha cos ur cuteeee

  34. Hello Kristy says:

    Kristy: shut up bitch.nobody cares about what u say.nobody cares now and nobody’s gonna care when you’re old and ugly.

  35. Magnolia says:

    Eh Kristy, Audrey is NOT ‘short’. She is petite, she is beautiful, she is special and she is unique ! GOD made her such.

    Why be so MEAN and make such nasty comments on her personal blog? Do to others what you want others to do to you. Comments like yours will come back to you one day. You want?? kekeke

    Be nice la, it does not take alot of effort… :)

  36. Mangobun says:

    century eggs are awesome! :)
    love your humour..
    Aunties can get carried away.. i just leave them be and keep on eating the cakes..

  37. lv says:

    “If she was an egg she would be a century egg WTF.
    All black and fermented. (and quite good to eat wtf)”

    these lines really cracked my up, doll!! hahahaaha!!!

    very interesting entry this one… :-)

  38. Estelle says:

    I am sorry I have to say Kristy has a point here.

  39. Audrey says:

    hello kristy & magnolia: thank u guys!

    mangobun: haha what cakes??

    lv: haha thank u!

    estelle: and what point is that? that i’m short? i think we have already all established that, havent we?

  40. will says:

    maybe she was referring to your figure..like a kid..u’re fourfeetnine somemore..?

  41. yuhhui says:

    I can’t stop roaring in laughter ! =) Heh. can never tahan that sort of aunties.. nice post !! ^^

  42. cindy khor says:

    sigh, some aunties really don’t know how to keep their mouth. maybe they think they are too high class and have to show off their valuables to everyone in order to gain statues. dead wrong move. its totally irritating and annoying. met some aunties a few years ago which is arrogant that i back out from the conversation before she could continue with how big her bangalow is.

  43. SK says:

    Hey Aud, don’t have to worry what other people comment about how u look or how u should look. Obviously people do that cause they have shallow mind.

    You are small but I believe you have a big heart. =)

  44. Audrey says:

    will: and that makes it ok to imply tim is a pedophile?

    yuhhui: haha thankew

    cindy: hahaha well bungalow is a bigger thing than bags?

    sk: thank u sk! that means a lot :)

  45. Mindy says:

    gets up on my nerves reading kristy and jess’ comments.

    shallow headed =_=

  46. crappy booze says:

    tsk tsk! 16 years old? You buy that? she’s just being sarcastic!

  47. A.C. says:

    Hahah.This is funny.

  48. Jo C. says:

    hahaha… i cant believe still got such ppl nowadays. she must be super duper kiasu!!!!

  49. MangoBun says:

    Kiasu aunties always have cake served.. :) part of their kiasu-ness to out-do the other aunties.. so it’s always pretty good!~

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