AudAngry AudVerbalDiarrhea

It’s not often that i write these sort of cryptic posts but I wanted to put it out here. I haven’t really written anything REALLY personal for a while so maybe this will be a start.

And for the first time in months, years even, I will attempt to just write whatever pops into my mind. No filtering, no thinking does this sound good, does this sound correct. No rephrasing, just the words as they come.

My friend Stephanie used to say something along the lines of everyday you encounter 3 stupid people. And she’d go 1/3 every time she met one wtf. I think that’s an exaggeration – I don’t think we meet 3 stupid people every day do we? Maybe it’s because I work from home. If I met 3 stupid people everyday it’d be Fatty, Fighter and the nanny wtf.

Anyway. I don’t often meet someone I dislike so much that when i do, I’m surprised by the depth of my distaste. It’s different from getting so angry at someone you hate them on the spot. This is less emotional but much more pervasive. If I were angry, this would be a red sort of heat. something that blinds me to everything but my rage and my desire to say something calculated to hurt.

No, this is something much colder, detached. I look at things as if from up above, from a far away point of view because I’m not actually involved, and that view is crystal clear, unhindered by biased fury.

And what I see is a person who sees every fault but their own. Who refuses to see in spite of the evidence.  Someone who name drops. Someone who may not have a concept of loyalty. Somebody who puts their desires first. Someone who may not have the experience or aptitude to weather the most trying moments gracefully. Someone who may mess with someone else’s peace for their own gain. And then who convinces themselves they are seizing the dream. Carpe diem and all that.

That’s my view. I dare say I could be wrong, that I’m seeing things warped because I’m not floating directly above like what I thought, but hovering to the side, where the view isn’t so clear and things look different. But perception is reality. That person’s perception could be their reality and in their eyes I would be as wrong as I think they are.

In my eyes, this is the reality. The reality is that I don’t like you. I am disturbed by your delusions and I will not give you the satisfaction of dropping my name.

Comments (14)

  • What on earth are you talking about?

  • lol I did say this is a cryptic post. I do blog for myself too you know, not just for rrsders

  • Yeahhh, the blog belongs to her you know. =/

  • Hopefully the person you are talking about reads your blog and knows that you are talking about him/her so that she/he can reflect on him/herself.

  • You write really well. 🙂

  • is it xiaxue?

  • what the f? no its not. I hate people like you, always trying to insinuate things about my friends and trying to create rifts. which part here sounds like her for God’s sake? you disgust me.

  • thanks 🙂

  • I don’t think they’ll even realize I’m talking about them

  • Idk if I also being delusional (like the person you’ve distaste for) or what, feels like your post can apply to just about anyone if they’re perasan enough- super cryptic… Can almost imagine you saying that with a cold, poker face though – scary thought! nnPS: You do write exceptionally well.

  • wahh.. i got chills. very scary eh.

  • Sounds really deeep but I think i know what you’re talking about..nnLike a person who thinks they are always right and deny the truth even if evidence is infront of them? Really selfish people.. and it is really hard to communicate sense into them..nnhttp://tenshichn.blogspot.com

  • cold poker face lolol. ya purposely made it cryptic cos it’s not meant to points fingers in public la

  • I scary or they scary? hahaha

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