Who, me? Exercise?

I never thought I would say this.

In fact, I thought the only way I would ever is if I was at least forty years old with no other options wtf.

I have started working out.

I know right! Shock! Horrors!

In fact, a big reason why I chose to take on a Marie France package is because I didn’t WANT to exercise.  I’m willing to look for any other option as long as I don’t need to work out hahahahaha this is how much I hate exercising.

But my grandma’s death recently shook me up a bit.  By the end she was more or less bedridden because she’d had a few bad falls and her bones were so weak.  After she was cremated and my parents went to pick up her ashes, they told me her bones were apparently extremely jagged and porous cos of the osteoporosis.

I read somewhere that osteoporosis can be hereditary, and it occurs a lot among women of East Asian descent.  Which is me la!

Then I flashed back to my obgyn who kept telling me to make sure I drink 2-3 glasses of milk at least a day while breastfeeding and exercise to prevent osteoporosis later on.  I am drinking LOTS of milk but what good is that if the calcium isn’t deposited properly on my bones right!?

So yea I figured I’m already 30 this year so exercise sounds like a better idea necessity now.

When I was preggers, I was envious of Bobo’s perky butt hahaha cos she was doing Kayla’s BBG routine.  I was feeling ungainly and ugly then and I consoled myself that I would start this BBG once I was done being pregnant.

I’ve not been pregnant for six months plus now so I guess I better get going wtf.

(For those who don’t know, Kayla‘s BBG is a 12 week program with specific cardio and other workouts.  It’s quite regimented in the sense that there are specific instructions of what to do within a certain amount of time.  I don’t know the first thing about exercise so it sounded good that I had specific instructions to follow.)

How has it been so far?

Well, I impulsively decided to just go for it and start, one fine day and I didn’t prepare any uhh… props? Tools? What do you call it wtf.  Oh workout equipment right?

Yea so anyway I jumped into it feet first without preparation.

Instead of a yoga mat, I used a bathmat. LOL.

On hindsight I should wear proper rubber shoes? Instead, I worked out barefoot on my bedroom carpet and got minor carpet burn WTF.

Halfway during the time sensitive workout, I realized I needed dumbbells or some sort of weights to lift.  So I used Fighter’s shampoo bottles WTF.

And then I also need a step to do step-ups.  There was a stool in the kids’ room but no way was I going in there and risk waking the sleeping dragons.  So… I stepped up on my toilet bowl. HAHAHAHA.

When I told Bobo what I did, she was horrified hahahahahaha she said please don’t cos it’s very high and dangerous wtf.  I said it’s ok what my toilet bowl is next to my towel rail so I could hold my towel for support hahahahaha.

After the first workout, I wanted to vomit WTF.  And I walked like a crab for two days after.

After the second workout, I had a headache which felt like a hangover WTF.

I’ve just finished the second week and honestly, every workout still feels like hell.  I keep checking the timer like a madwoman wtf, and I always regret halfway like why am I doing this!?!? My body not so bad to deserve this kind of torture what.  I think I can live with having a big waist and no ass la hahahahaha.

My abs still hurt like crazy so I can’t even laugh in peace now fml. Every workout session I question my sanity. And I don’t even know if I’m doing the exercises correctly.

For example, when I’m doing planks or push ups or commandos or whatever hellish thing, I presume my body should be straight as a er, plank right?  But my butt inches higher at every turn, and at one point I noticed it was swaying from side to side FML.  So who knows if it’s effective?

All I know is that it feels terrible. T____T Exercise is everything I feared and worse wtf.  People ask me how I feel after completing a session, expecting me to say I feel tired but great wtf.  That I feel a sense of achievement.  But #thetruthis, no lor hahaha.

I hate it hahaha. It feels like self torture and I feel like an idiot doing it because it’s so not in me to work out.  When lactic acid is shooting through my legs and my lungs are on fire, I hate the world.  And the only reason why I’m continuing is because I don’t want to have suffered the previous workout sessions for nothing.  It’s like a cult lol. So I continue…

I have ten more weeks to go.  Let’s see how far I go…

(omg I don’t even have a blog category for this. So I’ll put it under AudAngry HAHAHA)

  • Sandra Yap

    Good Afternoon Audrey,

    I really love reading your blog and this blog post is really funny. Anyway, have you thought about doing yoga instead of doing Kayla BBG? Reason why i asked is because I’ve read this book -Eat right 4 your type by Peter J. D’Adamo.(not sure id you’ve read it) According to this book which observe and mention by Peter, it is said that blood type A people usually prefer yoga compare to vigorous work out.

  • Cai Ling leow

    You should try Shaun T fitness programs, namely T25 and Insanity Max 30. Both only need 25-30mins each day, 5x a week. And you don’t really need equipment for most of the workout. Occasionally you just need a mat for lying on your back and heavy shampoo bottles are acceptable as weights too! Since you are so tiny, you don’t really need heavy weights. Check these programs out

  • macaroonslover

    Hi Audrey,

    I have been a long time reader of your blog but this is my first comment. Just wanted to let you know that like you, I absolutely HATE exercising. I have tried fitness programs such as the ones from the fitness blender website, Shaun T’s t25 and insanity and I gave up all of them half way because every time I do it I felt like i hated my life. However, from my recent visit to my doctor’s I was advised to start exercising regularly because I was becoming super unfit.

    After asking around, I found out about a running program called c25k (couch to 5k). This program has been around for 19 years now and a lot of people have succeeded from being a couch potato to a regular runner. I just finished week 3 of the program and am moving into week 4 and it has changed me a lot in just three weeks. The commitments are only half an hour a day and 3 days a week because your body needs rest days to recover from the high impact running. The program has a span of 8 weeks.

    It starts from repeating walking 60 seconds and jogging for 60 seconds and slowly build your stamina up to being able to run for 30 mins straight by the end of the program. A few of my friends have done it and even though one or two of them only managed to finish the program after 10 weeks because of the failure of a few days, they still managed to finish it and become a runner and exercise regularly now.

    This is just a recommendation if you are ever looking for something not as intense and light. I used to hate all sorts of exercise especially running and cardio related exercises but the c25k makes it completely painless. Hopefully this comment will ever come in helpful.

    Best wishes!

  • Denise

    HAHAHAH I always substitute with other things too…. :X Sad to say I’ve never really done my abs workout properly (can’t do sit ups for nuts……) I’m getting pretty good with legs. But…. That’s all I’m good in. LOL. Oh and I gave up after awhile cause of haze mah you know you know…. Unhealthy to work out……. (excuses ahem!) And then if I on aircon it’s gonna be expensive and harmful for the environment….. :p

  • Denise C

    Hi Audrey
    I feel like I’m reading my own voices while reading your blogpost. I am jumping on the Kayla BBG bandwagon too in preparation of my wedding. I always think that I am not fat to begin with and why do I put myself in such torture. While doing it, I keep finding ways for shortcuts. Haha. Guess I’m worse than u. Anyway, let’s gambateh together and may we have a fitter body after the hellish journey.

  • Serene Leong

    You actually do have a category called Audxercise! I have been a long time reader and i vaguely remember you saying years ago that your doctor said you need to exercise and you tried but couldn’t make it till the end of the road hahahahaha