It’s April Fool’s Day!
And I hate April Fool’s Day! Every year without fail I get lied to about something or other. And every year without fail I will fall for it!
Granted I don’t remember anyone telling me any huge lies or playing big pranks on me but still!
I hate being bluffed! Especially when you’re small and everyone gangs up on you. And you, oblivious to everyone’s secret snigger, will just smile or react along until someone says “April Fool’s!” and then you get so angry until you wanna cry but you can’t get mad over such a small thing so you have to pretend to be cool and laugh it off wtf.
Like today! I don’t think it was really meant to be an April Fool’s joke but it happened today so it’s counted *sulks
Jerry messaged me on MSN from his office and I was talking to him happily. AND THEN.
Jerry: bye audrey!
Me: WHY BYE
Jerry: because
Me: is that secretgaypartner -_-
Jerry: he doesn’t need to talk to you right now. he has to get to work
Me: haha work what?
Jerry: no i’m his manager. he really shouldn’t be chatting at work.
Me: (scared) oh sorry
Jerry: talking to random girls. ok i am going to close the window. he will talk to you after.
Me: ok
Then I closed my window dumbstruck wtf.
AND THEN JERRY MESSAGED AGAIN LATER AND SAID AIYA THAT WAS STUPID SECRETGAYPARTNER
You think I angry or not! Somore he sound so serious and scolded me I got the scare of my life T______________T I thought I cost him his job ok T__________________T
Top 10 Things that Make Me Angry Until I wanna Cry wtf (in no particular order)
(1) Bluffing me about something as a joke (i.e above)
(2) Fat Her Ooi asking me the same question 10 times in a row but in different ways
(3) Fat Her Ooi making me angry already and trying to cheer me up by telling me I look very pretty when I’m angry WTF HOW WILLTHAT WORK
(4) Getting into an argument with me and then not letting me get a word in and swearing at me
(5) Making a promise to me and having me look forward to it so much but then breaking that promise
(6) Running into the room and locking me out WTF. Ya a lot of these are pretty childish huh wtf. But damn angry ok if someone does that! Then I will usually just pretend I’m totally fine with a calm facade and wait for them to open the door but really deep inside I wanna cry wtf.
(7) The game Monkey wtf. You know the game where everyone stands in a circle and the Monkey stands inside and tries to catch the ball they’re throwing. I DAMN HATE IT IF IM MONKEY OK. Cause I’ve always been the shortest one in any group my whole life, and once I become the Monkey then I will be the Monkey forever la might as well stop the game right there and declare me the loser wtf. Cos it’s impossible for me to jump higher than other people to catch the ball ok.
(8) When everyone goes somewhere and doesn’t tell me they left wtf. Cos I’m like that wan la never wanna miss out on anything and if people go off without me I will feel damn miserable and sour until can shed tears wtf.
(9) When my brother uses something of mine and doesn’t put it back wtf. Not so much now la but actually now when he doesn’t put back my aircon remote after he’s done even though I’ve told him countless times I will still feel like shedding tears of anger wtf.
(10) When nobody wants to be friends with me la wtf. In Grade 1 all the girls in class wouldn’t be friends with me because my best friend told them not to wtf. You know why? Cos she was jealous I got first place in class WTF. So I had no friends because I refused to talk to the boys wtf. But now I’d rather talk to boys than girls wtf wtf.
And I went home and cried in bed wtf and Ooib heard me and whispered “Che che do you want me to tell Mummy you’re crying?” and between my sobs I said “okay” wtf.
And my mother went to school and talked to my teacher and my teacher said “okay everybody has to be friends with Audrey” and suddenly I had friends again wtf.
But I swear if that happened to me now I would still cry ok T_T
What’s everyone’s things to cry about!
Sorry for the last post.
I am exhausted and I am running all over the place tomorrow I am going to Boston with Suet for the North Malaysia Forum at Harvard yo. I honestly have no energy or time for this but what to do already registered so long ago so let me go and discuss current Malaysian events la wtf.
Anyway Miami Day 4!
We went for brunch..
Damn good okay huge-ass omelettes that none of us could finish (although I ate the most *proud wtf) with a separate plate of fries zomg fries are my weakness I swear I eat fries at least three times a week (cholesterol level T_T)
And then after that Jeannie, Angela and I went to Starbucks to study wtf why are we so nerdy T__________T Jeannie was studying for dunno what MCATs or something while Angela was doing her independent study reading and I did my thesis T_T I swear even Harvard kids won’t be this nerdy okay bring homework to do during spring break = =
Mild went walking around looking for subjects for her photography class. She found this homeless man wtf and asked him if she could take a photo of him and he said “sure but I might break your camera” (cos face too ugl)
But she thought he threatened to break her camera if she didn’t give him money and got scared hahahaahahahahah
Me and Mild outside Haagen Daz.
Oh ya not 10 minutes before this photo was taken, we went into this store which sold really expensive ethnic Indian looking clothing. And the saleslady asked us where we were from she asked Jeannie “are you Chinese” and asked Angela “are you Japanese” and she asked me “are you half Chinese half Latino” WTF.
Do I look Latino to you!!! Must be because I dark la what else wtf T_T And I couldn’t even comprehend what she was saying okay I paused for 3 seconds before saying “what?”
Then we went to the beach! The water is beautiful! But the sand okay only la Malaysian and Thai beaches so much better okay.
It wasn’t a good day to go to the beach though. The wind was super strong and cold and I couldn’t decide what to do! First I set up my towel in the shade to avoid the sun wtf. But then I got so damn cold that I had to move out under the sun to stay warm T_T
And then I had second thoughts wtf. Cos I knew I would totally regret it later and kill myself for staying in the sun and getting a tan. So I pulled out my trusty baobei umbrella wtf.
Here I am with my notes and papers yes I am studying on the beach T_T It was so windy that one my papers flew away and Jeannie so kindly ran after it for me for like 100 meters wtf only to give it back for me to realize that the paper is actually a useless piece of scrap where Angela and I had a conversation about some ugly guy we saw = =
One of the very few pictures of me on the beach I was hating the sun and wind and sand flying into my notes wtf why am I like this.
Most of the other pictures were taken by these three only! While I studied wtf.
I’m er flying to heaven like an angel while Angela is waving goodbye to me and saying she will miss me wtf.
Kame hame ha WTF hahahahahaha damn good right this picture look at both their faces and postures hahaahahahahah
Then Mansion again that night. It was St Patrick’s Day and I coincidentally wore green!
Me and my hairstylist.
She put my hair up for me! Cos I felt like pretending I had short hair for the night wtf.
Us and random girls wtf.
I think we were waiting for the bathroom.
Oh and I have to tell you about the 3 most annoying girls in the world! Cos when we got on the dance floor we happened to be beside these 3 Asian girls. (We noticed them cos there are not many Asians in Miami) And my back was to them but according to Jeannie they kept looking and pointing at us wtf damn annoying.
And then later we got onto the podium cos it was less crowded there. The podium was more like a runway where everyone would have to stand in a row. And Angela was right at the side of it, with space for maybe one more person next to her.
And suddenly those 3 girls clambered up next to Angela, squashing the rest of us COS OBVIOUSLY THERE IS NO SPACE FOR 3 LET ALONE IF THEY ARE FAT WHICH THEY WERE WTF.
Never mind.
Then Angela and Mild decided to get on the stripper’s pole wtf to take pictures. And after they got down, I got on and after that I wanted to let Jeannie get on too but before Jeannie could take a step in that direction wtf, THOSE 3 ANNOYING GIRLS DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO TAKE PICTURES WITH THE POLE.
And they went up it like snakes ok so damn fast how can they move so fast for their size!
Seriously damn copycat right! Why must do everything we do!
And then later on this very friendly gay guy dancing below us decided to help us take pictures and took one with us himself.
And just as the shutter clicked, the 3 annoying girls tapped HIS friend who was watching us on the shoulder AND ASKED HIM TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THEM.
I don’t understand why they’re like that!! Why follow us so strictly! So annoying ok like see everything we do then must follow 100%! And they don’t even wait for us to look away or go away they just do it 5 seconds after we do it!
Is it because they are too noob at going out at night and dunno what to do! And they just spotted us the other Asians and decide that whatever we do must be the right thing to do in a club and follow blindly WTFFFFF
And this is us congregating in the bathroom to discuss how to deal with those 3 girls wtf. Angela wanted to spill drinks on them (Coke cos its the cheapest and sticky too wtf) but they left early must be past their bedtime wtf.
God I was going to do Miami Day 3
Longest post ever.
On our 3rd day, we went to Miami’s biggest and most beautiful musuem, called Vizcaya. It was actually built by a man called James Deering for his winter home and it looks like a palace!
It was built in the early 20th century so everything in it reminded me of scenes from Atonement wtf. Damn beautiful and ornate, the architects and designers’d shipped paintings and tapestries and antiques from all over the world to furnish it.
There were like 2o guest rooms or something and every one had a special theme of its own. Like Chinese theme, dunno what theme some more. We couldn’t take pictures inside the house cos it wasn’t allowed but we made full use of the grounds outside wtf.
View of the back of the house. Why the back of the house looks like hotel already wtf.
Back of the house faces the ocean.
With a cement ship wtf.
The gardens.
A very nice man with white hair offered to take this for us. Damn profesional somore ask us to pose this way and that wtf.
Not sure what this is. Flooded backyard wtf.
Everybody dressed so garden-like except me! They all wore white flowy feminine things and look like they’re going to drink tea in the garden but I wear like I’m going to do gardening wtf T3T
Teman di taman wtf wtf.
Angela posing like a pro next to a fountain wtf.
Us!
Fountain in a cave.
Looking all holiday-ish.
The pond.
Being sweaty.
Then later clubbing at Mansion. No pictures because boring okay too many clubbing pictures. (Plus I don’t look nice wtf)
We were so free until we actually made a music video in Miami wtf wtf.
Ok will blog more tomorrow very sien now.
I am back from Miami!
It was so fun!
To sum it up: beaches, warm weather, boats, cocktails, celebrities, clubbing, Europeans, Spanish accents, lots of Latinos, expensive cars, mean age of like 25, a lot of skin, a lot of fit guys and fat girls wtf.
We took 1300+ photos and videos! I spent my whole day sifting through them and it’s so hard to decide which to put up T_T
Okay this is a day to day recap ahem ahem.
We got to Miami and checked into our hotel. We stayed on South Beach. This is me praying to Buddha that I don’t get a tan ok one of my greatest fears T_T
When we were at Urban Outfitters, the guy asked us where we were from and we said Boston and he said “you guys are very pale” and I answered indignantly “yes and I plan to stay that way” wtf. Skin cancer and leathery skin when you enter your middle ages okay what do you know.
I slapped on sunblock every half an hour without fail wtf. And carried an umbrella with me at all times. Angela said my baobei is actually my umbrella and not anyone else wtf.
But I did it ok hallelujah I am exactly the same shade I was before I went with no tan lines no freckles no sun spots nothing *tears of joy wtf.
And then we went for lunch at a restaurant down our road which was Ocean Drive. And it is the worst restaurant in the world with a slutty waitress wtf. And the strawberry daiquiri we ordered was quite gross wtf cannot drink finish wtf.
The food took so freaking long to come! The portions were small and they didn’t taste good. Even our ice water only came at the end of the meal and our waitress instead of checking up on our order kept flirting with men who walked past the restaurant ROARRRRRRR NO TIP FOR YOU
I wish I remembered the restaurant name so I can tell people not to go wtf.
But must take more pictures with the cocktail cos very cute wtf.
Then we went to explore the beach a little. We just walked along it a bit, beach day is another day.
The water is gorgeous though! But at 20+ Celcius a bit cold to swim I think.
And we found some shops! Outside MAC.
Steve Madden.
I saw Buddha statues in a True Religion store does that mean they think Buddhism is the true religion wtf wtf.
Mild being a photographer! Actually she was taking pictures for her photography class.
Part of our dinner at this place called Sushi Samba. Butter lettuce wrap with beef omg orgasmic *teary eyed. I think it was a Japanese Brazilian fusion place. Damn nice okay so much so we went back another time.
And that was the first day cos we were exhausted by our 8am flight.
Second day!
Brunch!
Shopping at Lincoln Street. The shopping there is so good you don’t even know wtf. Too bad I don’t have money wtf. I think Jeannie and Angela spent thousands between them though what US recession ar huh huh wtf.
Waiting for Jeannie to pee at Starbucks wtf.
There is always a reason to take pictures wtf.
Hello wtf.
Playing with the street deco.
We played with the mirrors in Aldo.
So cool huh! We were all seated in different chairs far away from each other actually.
Audrey + Angela = Angrey wtf.
Pretty shoes.
Waiting for Angela to finish yet another purchase.
A view of Lincoln Street.
Some random guy came up to us and asked if he could take a picture with us. People in Miami are so friendly! Must be because of the holiday-party mood that’s always around.
And then this other group of people came up and asked us if they could take a picture of us for some street fashion project. Maybe they like how colorful our clothes are 😀
Everyone posed so ladylike except me! like a 5 year old sigh. Always like this okay so many times they will all wear the same color except me. Or the same style except me and I will stick out like a sore thumb wtf.
Meditating like a true Buddhist wtf.
Angela being pregnant wtf.
Walk the tight rope wtf. Walk the plank wtf. Walk the dog WTF. Actually this is how I talk in real life sometimes T_T link a lot of unconnected words through one particular word damn random wan.
This picture is so pretty I love the colors
Obviously it was taken by Mild, all the nice pictures are, she’s just talented that way *envious
A sombre reminder of my job wtf.
Tired waiting for the others to finish buying things.
Dinner at Sushi Siam, a Japanese-Thai restaurant where the chef told the server to buy us a bottle of sake cos we pretty okay what do you know wtf. And then we damn thick skin say we don’t like sake and ordered individual cocktails instead wtf.
And then later when we went in to thank him he gave us his number and asked us to call him to go clubbing later that night. But we didn’t want to/forgot wtf. His name is Jose and he was not bad looking but don’t want la so weird. So after that whenever we passed his restaurant we walked really fast so he wouldn’t see wtf.
Clubbing at Prive where the decor is amazing!! They had 2 indoor rooms, plus this huge open air area with a big dance floor, and because the management was called Opium Garden, they decorated it with Chinese lanterns, princess beds, incense and more statues of Buddha (I dunno what is it with Miami and Buddha wtf)
See everyone pose so nicely with Buddha and there I am meditating again.
Stone dog/lion? Angela and Mild are striking pretty poses and I’m being stupid kissing statues and Mild is being so black and chillz wtf giving the dog an uppercut hahahahahaah.
Part of the decor! It was so so so pretty but too dim to take really nice pictures 🙁
Angela, Jeannie, me and Amy Winehouse hahahaha she damn look like her okay she had a beehive and cat eyeliner hahahahah.
Me doing my robot dance wtf. 5 nights of clubbing in a row have not improved my dancing skills wtf. Sometimes Mild notices me doing a cool move wtf and she’ll be impressed and say “wow Audrey that was hot” and I will say “I forgot what I did/didn’t realize what I was doing” wtf. All my coolness is accidental T_T
Stay tuned for more wtf.
I slept at 4 last night (writing thesis yo!) and woke up at 12.30 and still felt on the verge of death T___________T
Eight hours isn’t enough for me honestly if you ask me to sleep say 4 hours you might as well ask me to die wtf.
Anyway today I was pretty productive. I brought a glass of Coke up with me from lunch and drank it while writing my paper.
And then the stupid Coke gave me a caffeine high! I dunno why like this! I love Coke and drink it all the time.
But maybe usually the Coke gets diluted from the ice… and today I finished the whole cup, usually I throw away about half.
So I was typing my paper. And then suddenly I felt dizzy! wtf. And my hands started shaking wtf.
And then I started typing so fast WTF. Should have taken a typing test then wtf.
And then I started singing damn loudly. Cos I felt like I really needed to shout wtf T_T
Angela said I was so annoying.
Anyway Mt Holyoke is having a Kick Coke off the Campus campaign. Apparently Coke is violating all sorts of human rights and environmental laws in their production. Something like they’re taking underground water from India which deprives the Indians of water something like that. (I forgot what else)
So they have this huge banner up in the student center and it goes something like “Coke Kills… and You Pay Them To Do It”.
So every time I drink Coke there I feel damn guilty ok! I dunno why I must do this to myself but every time I lift the cup to my lips I’ll inadvertently glance up at the banner and feel chills wtf.
And I was really scared that they would just remove all the Coke machines, so I thought I better drink as much as I can before they do wtf. Cos I also feel bad ok that I’m depriving Indian peasants of their water.
But then! Today I saw a poster which listed out all the products that were under the Coca Cola company, not just Coke. And and my other favorite drink in the world, Honest Ade was on it!!!
This is going too far!! Take away Coke never mind, Coke rots your teeth and stomach lining and makes you infertile wtf.
But Honest Ade! My favorite flavor is Orange Mango and I swear it is the yummiest drink ever. Just a tad sweet, like the slogan says wtf. And I feel so healthy everytime I drink it! Cos it’s just a tad sweet ok wtf which means that there’s less sugar but full of Vitamin C.
Actually I think I might love Orange Mango more than Coke. Cos every time I go to Blanchard (the only place I’ve seen it sold) I run to the beverage section first to check if they have it in stock wtf.
And I once told Suet that possibly the only advertorial I would ever do would be for Honest Ade Orange Mango wtf.
(No la I lie, I would totally do boutique advertorials for free clothes wtf *hinting)
So now I am anti-anti-Coke! If they ever try to remove the vending machines from campus, I will chain myself to one and chant slogans wtf. Like Tianenmen stand in front of the tank wtf wtf.
And today I cut Suet’s hair! See how productive I’ve been.
Trimmed her bangs and gave her layers! Before this, her hair was all the same length ma. No pictures, just wait for her to take some and post them up.
God I am so good at this! I was kinda nervous cos I’ve never cut hair from scratch, it was always just the bangs or maintaining the haircut. But I did it omg maybe I should start charging wtf.
Off to Miami tomorrow!
P/S: My favorite Youtube clip in the world wtf. It’s for some Japanese variety show, and it’s a bunch of guys sitting in a library drawing cards, and whoever draws the odd card out gets a punishment damn funny ok I watched it like 5 times before and still laugh like shit everytime I see it.
(Sorry my sense of humor is so childish T_T)
Good lord I am only on page 6 of my thesis.
Guess who’s lugging her laptop, notes and books on vacation T_T
Anyway, in vast contrast to Aud the slave, Angela has been very free.
And she’s gone and downloaded Photoshop and now whiles away her days editing pictures *envious stare wtf.
Hi Angie! wtf. Maybe I am damn noob okay but I love all her pictures all so pretty and it’s only like her second day playing with Photoshop
One of Datin Suet wtf.
Me!
One of us. This is both our wallpapers now
Me in Target the other day with an overturned Hello Kitty Easter basket on my head. Honestly. T_T
We went to watch The Other Boleyn Girl and there was a huge snowstorm. I love it when it snows and everything is covered in white looks so fresh and clean! (Just in case you can’t tell, that’s Angie in the foreground, me bending over like I have cramps wtf and a sedate Suet)
But yalah then I curse the snow when our car skids and I fall down cos its slippery wtf or when they clear the roads and scrape all the snow to the side and everything turns shitty brown wtf.
Me right after an accident wtf.
Fallen Angel HAHAH geddit geddit wtf.
No we were just playing in the snow!
A clearer picture of the snowflakes! (that’s Mild’s soccer mom car and she is probably somewhere behind it, grumpy because she has to sweep the snow off her screen.)
No time to blog anymore. The next time I will truly be free is in May.
WHEN I AM UNEMPLOYED *feels chills wtf
Blogging for the sake of blogging.
The busier I am the less I want to blog. Obviously I have my priorities right wtf.
Anyway, Hannah Yeoh yo! wtf.
Ya so now Tze can finally stop talking about how Cheras is under DAP and Subang Jaya is under BN now. MCA Make Chinese Angry wtf.
I didn’t expect the results at all Suet and I said we’d order Chinese wtf if the election results were favorable.
But clearly BN would rig it kau kau right as though people don’t know.
So I thought BN would win by another (fake) landslide and then Badawi can say “you see! we have the people’s mandate” and then we’d all have to slog through another 4 years of BN nonsense.
But five states! Including Penang (where I was born!) and Selangor (where I live!)
Suet said what if DAP doesn’t do a good job in Subang?
Then just reelect 4 years later! Is that not our right?
We didn’t order Chinese in the end wtf.
—————
So yesterday and today was the Rise of China conference. This semester I’ve been taking this IR class on the growth of China over the past 20 years and its domestic and international implications and the conference was the highlight of it.
Damn interesting ok cos we discussed like economic, political, environmental effects of China’s growth. And how it would affect other countries. For eg, a lot of US-ians are nervous about the Sino-US relationship, dunno if China will start to challenge US as a super power etc etc.
But it started at 8.30 am omfg that is the crack of dawn ok (butt crack of dawn wtf). 5 hours before my usual wakeup time.
And I thought I would kill myself if I wake up and go for the conference and then FALL ASLEEP halfway. Cos waste all my effort of getting out of bed only to fall asleep and miss the conference!
So I got myself ready with my double slices of chunky peanut butter toast wtf. And then I downed 2 cups of coffee in hope that it would wake me up. (I have never drank any coffee in my life wtf) Audrey’s 2 cups of coffee = 1 cup because my ratio of coffee to milk to sugar is 1:1:2 wtf.
But I still fell asleep dammit!
But not before turning hyper for a mere 20 seconds or so when I punched Suet repeatedly on the arm for no reason wtf.
Angela woke me up. And after that I suffered stomach cramps (coffee allergy? wtf) and disappeared to the bathroom twice wtf.
Apparently I was not the only person having stomach problems. Because in the row behind me was this plump old lady trying to get out of her row (it was an auditorium so it was theatre seating)
So she was scooting out sideways and when she was right behind me she farted at my head T________________T
And I laughed so damn much cos I thought she farted at Mild and Mild’s expression was like she was going to cry ok hahahahaahahahha
And nobody else laughed with me! Suet just gave me worried looks because she was too busy listening to the speaker’s depressing prognosis on Malaysia’s future with regard to China wtf. And Mild only laughed cos I laughed so much.
Like laughed for 10 minutes with my hands clasped over my mouth so I wouldn’t make a sound T_T
And then later only Mild told me the old woman was actually behind me when she farted sigh.
But verily, the talks were so fascinating! There was a Mt Holyoke alum who came to speak. She was part of the Clinton administration, and when she went to China in 1971 (2 years after she graduated), she so impressed Zhou Enlai that he said he wished she was the President of the US wtf.
2 years after graduation! I am feeling so inadequate right now.
And an economic advisor from the World Bank also came to lecture about the effects China’s growth and industrialisation would have on developing countries in South East Asia.
I liked him so much! My name on MSN now is:
*princess aud ❤ is mrs syayid hosof nee lipman WTF
(name changed in case he googles himself and finds my blog wtf. Just swap the Y’s with H’s and vice versa, and substitute the O’s for U’s. Lipman’s name is also there because he was my first love WTF seriously why am I like this)
Reasons why:
#1 He looks like Mr Bean
#2 He is fucking smart and talked about Malaysia’s case the most
#3 He answered all my questions so patiently and wholeheartedly wtf
#4 笑顔優しくて幸せだ He has a kind and happy smile WTF
————————
Sometimes I feel like I’m a car hurtling towards a crossroads but I can’t decide whether to turn left or right and in the end I’ll hit the divider.
—————————
Today I found out about a huge surprise that was awaiting me :))))))))))) The surprise is ruined but I don’t care, imma pretend to be surprised anyway!
理由がないけど、日本語でブログします。
For no reason, I will blog in Japanese.
日本語を使うチャンスほとんどないから、だんだん下手になってきたT_T
Almost no chance to use Japanese, that’s why I’m slowly becoming worse.
でもな~~何をいうのがいいかな ＝＝
But I dunno what to write about wtf.
今から来週まで死ぬ可能がありますよｗｔｆ。 宿題ままけどTHESISをして、４月１日までに出さなければならないから、めっちゃ緊張してます。
From today to next week, there is a possibility that I will die wtf. Not that much homework, but I am writing my thesis (hopefully) and I need to hand it in by April 1. So stressed.
だから、今から頑張るのモードスイーっチオンです！ｗｔｆ.
That’s why from now onwards work hard mode will be switched on wtf.
頑張ってるのオードリーｗｔｆ An Audrey that’s working hard wtf.
Wtf日本語でブログすると、変な感じがある －＿－
Wtf feels damn weird to blog in Japanese.
特に日本語から英語に訳すとき。
Especially when translating from Japanese to English.
MildはPHOTOSHOPのBRUSHダウンロードしてプリクラの飾りできるからこの写真飾ってくれた。
Mild downloaded Photoshop brush which can do purikura effects so she did this picture for us.
それで、来週の金曜日Miamiに行きますよ！めっちゃ楽しみ！お金がないけどｗｔｆ。Miamiにいると、売春婦になるかもしれないWTF. お金は世界の一番大切なものだからWTF.
I am going to Miami next week! So looking forward to it! Even though I have no money wtf. Maybe when I am in Miami I will become a prostitute WTF. Because money is the most important thing in the world wtf.
ウソだけ！実は、人倫的な人だ。
Just kidding! I am in actual fact a very moral person wtf.
バイバイ。 Byebye.
wtf.
Sigh I really don’t want to do this cos my products all damn pariah ok wtf but Tze tagged me so here I am.
Skin Care
What facial cleanser do you use?
Dove Gentle Exfoliating Foaming Facial Cleanser. You know why? Cos SOMEONE stole my cleanser, toner and moisturiser on the flight back from Vancouver! I checked in a backpack that Mrs Luo gave me (cos I had too much shit) and my cosmetics were all in it. And then when I came home they were missing T_T So I had to run out to Target wtf to replace them. Like Angela says, only the lamest things happen to me, and I really think this tops the list.
What moisturizer do you use?
Bought to replace my Kanebo Whitening dunno what. Okay only la, I don’t think it’s moisturizing enough for me. Either that or we leave our heater on far too long wtf.
How many times a day do you wash your face?
Twice! I am damn anal about this and will never wash more or less. You’re not supposed to okay! Even if you’re in humid Malaysia or a the Gobi desert wtf you should only wash your face TWICE a day.
Do you use eye makeup remover?
What nonsense is this of course! It’s a sin to leave your makeup on mmmkay.
If so, What kind?
Eat shit la Cyber Colours I swear I take 5 minutes to remove my makeup and it STILL leaves traces and then after I wash my face I will be blessed with panda eyes cos the makeup will still be there T_T
Is your skin oily, dry, or combination skin?
Dry and sensitive 🙁 Always get allergy this allergy that.
What is the best part about your skin?
That it’s clear la wtf. No pimples, blackheads, freckles, age spots wtf. (not yet anyway)
What are your skin problems?
That it gets dark easily la I spend my life shying away from sunlight T_T And eyebags and dark circles *frets
Why did they not ask about sunblock! Sunblock is essential! I write myself.
What sunblock do you use?
Shiseido Anessa Perfect Smooth Sunblock. SPF 50++ okay I swear their biggest customer is Mrs Dracula wtf. Or Japanese women. But you should never go anywhere without putting on sunblock! Even if you’re staying at home, sunblock is a must okay do you know how damaging the sun is.
Makeup
What foundation do you use?
Clarins. No idea what range it is.
What powder do you use?
Clinique. I bought this 4 years ago and I have no idea why it’s still nearly full! Actually I do, it’s because half the time I forget to use powder *shifty-eyed.
What eyebrow pencil do you use?
Lancome Le Crayon Brow Definer. I never knew the full name until I googled it wtf.
Can’t find a picture of it, but Canmake Eyebrow Mascara (Japanese brand) in blond, to make sure my brows match my hair>.>
What eyeliner do you use?
In both black and glitter.
MAC Fluidline dunno what hahaha I’m just typing out what I see in the picture wtf. Dunno why I’m so bad at remembering product names. I haven’t used this for ages though because I’m too lazy to wash my brush wtf.
What is your favorite eyeshadow?
Revlon Eyeglide Shimmer Shadow wtf. (again typing out from google) It’s only my favorite cos I use the pink or the gold for day use. Looks more finished!
What mascara do you use?
Loreal Double Extension and Lancome Hypnose both in black. But Loreal kicks Hypnose’s ass okay the first time I used Hypnose it was Mascara God wtf, but the next time I bought it again I felt like the quality worsened. Plus I love mascaras that come with the strenghtening volumising white base.
What are your favorite lipbalms/glosses/sticks?:
Vaseline wtf. I hate stuff on my lips and I used to be allergic to lip glosses T_T
Hair
Do you color your hair?
No it’s natural wtf. Of course I do!
What is your stylists name?
George for haircuts, John Tang for coloring.
And the guy in white while I was in Japan. (I think I am obsessed because when I think of him a smile appears on my face WTF) They’re tying on my extensions.
What salon do you go to?
A Cut Above. And K’s Collection in Kyoto
What is your natural hair color?
Black la but a very crappy black. A not black at all black wtf.
What is your hair color now?
Light brown ba. With blond streaks.
Do you have straight or curly hair?
Straight until dunno what I can go crazy wtf.
Do you use a curling iron?
Yes! My beloved Conair.
A straightener?
No.
Do you use a blowdryer?
Of course! For volume. (wtf this is the longest tag ever sien already)
Do you use gel and if so, what kind?
Nope.
Do you use mousse, and if so, what kind?
Nope. I use hair wax and hair spray. Both from Gatsby and they are better than sex wtf.
What shampoo do you use?
I don’t remember WTF. I alternate between an orange bottle and a gray one wtf.
What conditioner do you use?
Ditto.
Do you use leave in conditioner?
(what’s leave in conditioner wtf)
Scents
What deodorant do you use?
I don’t need deodorant! I smell like a flower naturally wtf.
What body wash do you use?
I think it’s Shokubutsu no need to show picture la
Do you use a loofah, washcloth or soap to wash?
I once bought a pink loofah but never used it wtf.
What perfumes do you use or like? Name five.
I don’t use perfumes! Cos I told you la I already smell good naturally wtf. I think I always smell like my body wash la wtf. Also, I have almost no sense of smell (that’s why I’m made to do trash T_T) so perfumes and colognes are wasted on me.
Do you always have to smell good?
I have Audrey smell ok. Audrey Smell = orange soap smell + Body Shop Satsuma Body Butter. Or trash smell right after I do trash T_____________________T
Jewelry
Are diamonds really a girl’s best friend?
My best friends are Angela and the Club wtf.
What is your jewelry essential?
Errrrrrrrrrrrrr dunno
What jewelry do you wear most?
The gold necklace with the key pendant Mummy Ooi gave me for my birthday.
What jewelry do you crave most?
Am I really still doing this tag why so long wan T__________T Dunno la engagement ring la wtf.
Purses and Shoes
How many purses do you own?
Very few. I would be happy not carrying bags okay I remember how my mother had to nag me to put my wallet and phone and whatnot into a bag.
Which is your favorite?
Plastic bag wtf.
How many shoes do you own?
20-30?
Which pair is your favorite?
Match outfit la! But if I’m travelling, my cowboy boots. Most comfortable pumps would be the black ones with the gold clasp in front.
Who is your favorite handbag designer?
I told you I don’t like bags T_____T Petaling Street designer wtf. Oh wait I forgot about Vuitton Speedy Damier in Azur wtf. Let me work 10 years to buy that wtf.
Who is your favorite shoe designer?
Dunno.
This or that;
Manolos or Jimmy Choos?
Jimmy Choo la. But that’s only because he’s a family friend. But family friend also what’s the point never give me any shoes also! Only give my mother and her sisters *sour
Dolce and Gabbana or Chanel?
ENOUGH LA WHY SO MANY QUESTIONS BUT I CHOOSE CHANEL
Micheal Kors or Bebe?
Bebe la damn cute okay.
Louis Vuitton or Coach?
Vuitton la Vuitton. Are you happy wtf.
Gucci or Prada?
I choose Audrey.
Miscellaneous
Favorite Magazine to read?
Vivi, CanCam, Smash Hits WTF.
Favorite nail polish?
Cheap ones.
Favourite Book?
Can we talk favorite authors! Stephen King, Sophia Kinsella, Emily Dickinson (cos she went to Mt Holyoke wtf), Jeffrey Archer, Ken Follett, Jane Austen, Francine Pascal WTF.
Favorite Band?
911 wtf.
Favorite Girly Movie?
Mean Girls, Legally Blond, My Fair Lady wtf.
Are you high maintenence?
pffffft of course not can someone whose favorite food in the world is Hainanese Chicken Rice be high maintenance wtf.
Do you enjoy being a girl?
Yes, I like being able to sit down and pee.
—————————
Two days ago, I sat in Lipman’s office for our weekly meeting about my independent study.
This semester, I chose to write about Ketuanan Melayu.
He asked me how my research was going.
I started to tell him about how I had read all these articles written in Malay online, both in personal blogs, and Utusan Melayu archives.
But I found myself unable to go on, because if I opened my mouth again, the hard lump that was in my throat would dissolve and pour out as tears.
I’m not sure why I was so affected reading those Malay articles. And I didn’t realize how upset I was until I went to tell Lipman about them.
Those articles were mostly ridiculous little opinion pieces about why the writers thought Malays were the true owners of Malaysia. Because Malays were here first. Because Malacca had been a thriving and prosperous port under Malay rule, and not Chinese or Indian.
Granted, the Malays were here before the Chinese and Indians. But we’re here now. I am the 5th generation of a man from Fujian who came to Malaya in the mid 1800s. Malaysia is all most of us know and love, but just because of who we are, restrictions are imposed upon us.
I know that if you think about the Israelis and the Palestines, or the Serbs and Croatians, we are comparably very lucky in Malaysia.
We are not shot upon recognition of our ethnicity, neither are we denied basic needs of human survival.
But what we are denied is the chance to stand as an equal individual and citizen in our country. We are denied the chance to be proud of Malaysia, the chance to say that my country loves me as much as I love her.
Rationally or not, reasonably or not, cruelly or not, I think that racism will always exist in all of us, deep down, whether we want to or not. I think that to be human is to have that instinct of “us” against “the other” because isn’t that what survival is based on?
I am not blaming any particular person for this, because whatever antagonism a Malay might feel towards a Chinese, isn’t it possible that the Chinese might feel the same to his Malay counterpart? I am very sure that if the roles were reversed, the Chinese would do the same thing; I highly doubt we are very much better.
And so I sat in Lipman’s office with my lips pressed tightly together, just listening to him talk about ethnic nationalism. He must have noticed something because he paused before saying “Audrey, I’m sorry.”
The only way to change things is to vote. You have no idea how much I want to vote, but cannot.
So if you can, please go out on Voting Day and place your vote. This is one of your most important rights as a citizen so please don’t waste it.
***Apologies if this offends anyone. This is merely an opinion piece of an idealistic ignorant girl.
If even hairdressing fails, I might try out as a comedy actress wtf.
We were watching a Thai commercial *click here* about Peppermint Field Gel and we decided to recreate the 3rd ad wtf oh holy mama seriously why are we so mou liu.
Peppermint Field Gel – for times when you feel like fainting wtf.
Ya allah I seriously have no shame at all. T_____________T
There now you know my deepest secret. The place where the sun don’t shine.
My forehead wtf.
That’s why I’ve had bangs my whole life la cos my forehead is the size of a moon crater wtf.
And that’s why I was asked to be the starring position in our video wtf.
P/S: Please promise me you will still like me after watching it wtf.
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