====== EDITED WITH VIDEO *sobs wtf ===========

Leroy and Eeflin and Jason (whom I don’t even know wtf) have made me write a blog post about stupid things I’ve done in my life.

I racked my brains and I couldn’t come up with anything! I think I’m actually really smart and noone knows it wtf.

Here are the ones that I COULD think of… which aren’t even that dumb to begin with, really.

Obviously first there’s all the usual clumsy klutzy things that normal people do.

– trying to be nice to Yeff and cutting him a mango, but I also cut my own hand with the peeler and he called me stupid and I got mad and threw the mango at him wtf. No la I just finished cutting the mango then sat in a corner and sulked wtf.

– falling down in front of Blanchard Campus Center twice in two days T_____T I just slipped down the slope and ended up in a split position in front of a moving car WTF. And everyone was like “omg are you alright!” and I was like “yes, thank you” and smiled and waved in a friendly way at the car driver to show I was fine wtf so embarrassing T_____________T

– losing things god am I good at losing stuff. I’ve lost wallets, cell phones, I/Cs, driving licenses, train passes, cardigans, money, plane tickets, computer microphone wtf, library books on buses, myself in relationships wtf.

– Then there’s the infamous time I walked around Bukit Bintang with my skirt tucked up in my underwear *weeps. And I was wondering why all the Indian and Malay uncles kept looking at me T___________T

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As those who are close to me know, I’m really really good at sleeping and have the much coveted ability to fall asleep anywhere, anytime. Especially moving vehicles, put me in one for 5 minutes and I’ll go to sleep. And once I even made a friend sit in his car in 1U with me for 15 minutes while I took a nap T______T

So once, this was during our 2nd year I think, me and Angela were in our beds with the lights off, talking. I think I asked her a question and she obviously answered right. But before she could reply, I fell asleep WTF. Like in the span of 5 seconds wtf. So when she answered, I heard her and woke up. And you know how even though you’re asleep for a while you think you’ve been sleeping for a long time. So I scolded her for talking, “Why you talk to me in the middle of the night wan I’m sleeping la!” wtf.

Another time when I was taking a course in Theatre – set and costume design, I had to make a few sketches for class. I thought that there were art supplies to be found in the art musuem on campus. It was a cold and snowy day and I dragged Angela along with me to go borrow some, because I thought I wouldn’t be able to carry all the paint and brushes by myself.

I remembered hearing the supplies were on the 4th floor but when we went there was nothing there but old chairs and desks. Then I went down to the lobby to ask, and the woman told me they don’t give out art supplies at all. It was then that I realized that I dreamed the whole thing about art supplies in the musuem up WTF.

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When I applied for my trash job, the manager asked me to come in for an interview. I was thinking, why would you need an interview for trash, then I thought, maybe he wants to see how strong I am and if I’m capable of carrying bags of rubbish.

So since I had my interview after a shopping trip with Angie, I went to meet the manager carrying all mine AND Angie’s bags and I carried them all with one arm using just my fingertips to support them WTF. Like straightened out all my fingers and put all the plastic bag handles on it and then I adopted a relaxed stance next to the couch and casually did some arm lifts WTF.

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Once me and Angela were in a cab late at night and we were both so tired that we fell asleep and when we woke up we were in a dark isolated road which we had no idea where. We got damn scared I mean wtf who falls asleep in taxis on dark nights! We took out our scissors and keys as weapons wtf but luckily we got to our destination safe.

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There was a point in my life where I was very afraid of getting fat (i.e. 1st-2nd year of college) because at 4 feet 9, 1 kg makes a LOT of difference. And we heard that if you use cling wrap to wrap your stomach at night while you sleep, your tummy goes super flat.

So we sneaked down to the dining hall and stole a whole roll of cling wrap wtf. By whole roll, I mean a whole industrial sized roll in a big cardboard box with its own special cutter and like a few km of cling wrap wtf.

But it worked ok! Every morning when I woke up my stomach was so flat like a model *wistful eyes. But it didn’t last long though, like only up till breakfast wtf.

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The first time I went to New York was during Thanksgiving one year, and of course there were the famous Black Friday sales where all the prices are supposed to be slashed but you have to apparently go really early to get all the good bargains. So we woke up at 3am WTF just to get to Soho early in the morning but when we got there all the stores were still closed T_T and we ended up spending 3 hours in Starbucks watching the sun rise. And the sales weren’t even that impressive T_T

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While still in Japan, I shopped too much until I had no money and I had to share a bowl of plain rice with Angela (not even a full bowl!) and a side dish of kimchi everyday for lunch for 2 weeks wtf.

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When I was 10 (Standard 4), I joined the scouts cos I thought we’d get to cook marshmallows by the fire and sing Koombaya wtf. I went for a campout on my school grounds and that is the first and last time I’ll ever do anything like this again.

I was late and everyone was already standing in lines doing marching drills and shit. The teacher scolded me for being late T_T and to make matters worse, right when I joined the ranks, my mother ran up from behind me and plopped my hat on my head wtf.

And it wasn’t even any old hat T_T The checklist said to bring ‘topi’ so my mother brought my pink wide-brimmed Lady Di-esque hat with fake flowers, lace and a big bow wtf. While everyone else wore black or blue baseball caps T_____T

Then I realised we would have to shower in the school toilets and sleep in real tents with hordes of mosquitos and the food was watery curry and rice and that’s when I pretended to have gastricitis and called my mother to take me home wtf.

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I chipped my front tooth twice before.

Once I was in Giant with my brother and dad and we were laughing about something. I laughed so much that I rocked back and forth and hit my face on the trolley wtf and that’s how I chipped my tooth.

The second time was in the MacDonald’s opposite Taylor’s. I was trying to demonstrate how some people act sexy like cats with the “reowr” and they kind of snap their jaw and pretend to bite their sexual prey wtf. You know or not what I’m talking about!

Anyway I was too enthusiastic and I snapped my jaw too hard and chipped my tooth again T_________T

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When I was taking one of my vaccination shots for before I came to the US, it hurt too much so I slapped the doctor to make him stop but he made me sit on his lap WTF to make sure I didn’t move and screw up the injection god why T______________T

I was 19 at that time wtf.

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Ok that’s all!

Here’s the hair curling video I promised. I think it’s going to screw up my layout so it’s only going to stay up for 1 or 2 days then I’ll just link it and you can go see it on Youtube k.

I hate you guys I look and sound so awkward in the video T_______________T

I realised when I’m nervous/the spotlight is on me I blink a lot wtf.

I looked like a spaz and I think only halfway through I became normal again wtf T___________T