I’m done with exams – pesky things – and I’m all packed too.I’m very fucking sure I’m going to be over the weight limit and there’s no way out than to pay stupid United off.
I have a splitting headache because I fell asleep around 3 last night and woke up at 9 to lug more boxes into storage. Tried sleeping just now but my stupid body wouldn’t shut off and I lay there thinking “shit la how many hours left? Did I finish everything I have to do? etc etc”
So now I’m all ready to face two whole days of airplanes and airports. I don’t care, I’m checking into the Changi transit hotel already, no more sitting in the lounge/standing at stupid computers that cut off your connection every 10 minutes.
Okay, okay. All this while I’ve been complaining about how I can’t wait to leave stupid Mt Holyoke and suddenly now that I CAN leave, I don’t want to. :(((((((((((((
Sad la in a way. This has been my home for the past 10 months. Me and Angela put in so much effort in our room to make it the cutest room in the world, and now we have to pack everything up and move.
And the worst part is, I’m leaving all my pillows and bolster here!!! I don’t know why I’m so attached to them also, not like without it I can die like that.
But somehow I feel without me my pillows will feel very lonely. :(((( Does that even fucking make sense I ask you?
Dunno why I must attach all kinds of sentiment to my things and think they got a life in them wan. This is why i cannot throw away anything and this is why I’m going to be overweight.
Ok wish me a good flight
It’s the end of the school year and I’ve been frantically trying to pack/find nice homes for my stuff for the next year and a half.Beth is taking two boxes, Yen probably just one, a lot of crap is going to be moulding in the basement of the Delles, and a boxful was sent to Aaron in Kentucky, who’s going to pass it to me when he sees me in KL.
Ooh, Aaron was the guy I met on the way back from Singapore to KL one year ago and we somehow stayed friends ever since.
Since he’s a guy and I figured he doesn’t have that much to carry anyway, I shipped a box of my clothes to him to help me carry back since I confirm overweight wan.
One day he messages me on MSN.
“Audrey, I’m taking Air Asia from KL to Miri, and the luggage limit is only 10kg. Your clothes how? What if I’m overweight?”
“Just throw away la.”
“Siao! Where can throw?”
“Okay la, keep the pink Converse sneakers and my pink polka dot jacket.”
But he refuses, saying it’s a waste blah blah. Fucking auntie.
“Ok la, tell me what I sent you and I’ll tell you if can throw or not.”
He turns on his webcam and proceeds to show me every article of clothing I sent.
I get the shock of my life when he finally lifts up a long white piece of thing to his chest.
Why oh why did I send him my thermal underwear!!
I peer closer at the screen.
Why oh why did I send him the ones that are actually my brother’s old ones and have an opening at the crotch for easy peeing!!!!
I was tempted to printscreen but I’m too ashamed.
“Eh Audrey, what’s this ar?”
“Oh…hahahahhaha! No la, those are not mine, don’t know why my mother packed it in for me also hahahahaha….”
“Oh okay..”
“Yeah….hahahahahah….”
Thanks a lot for ruining your own image.
Oh ya, how can I forget….I will be arrving in Malaysia May 16!!!
Who wants to meet up with me raise their hand! I feel so left out that everybody gets to go for blogger meets and shit. I also want la! I hate feeling left out the most.
Earlier I saw something that scared me a lot about Japan.
We’re going to live with homestay families and I’m sorry that I’m the most horrible person in the world, but this picture scares me a lot.
The inner child arose today when I spent my afternoon reading up the origins of fairy tales online.Did you know that originally fairy tales were folk lore not meant for the ears of children? Most of them sounded like horror stories when I read them and I think almost all incorporated elements of violence, sexuality and murder.
Very scary leh! This is better than reading Russell Lee’s SIngapore Ghost Stories.
Actually some of them I already read the real un-Disney versions when I was younger but I forgot them. Come to think of it, I don’t know why I didn’t feel as disturbed then as I do now. Some more children’s books sure got illustrations wan.
Let me give you an example.
In Cinderella, when the evil stepsisters are trying on the glass slipper, it obviously doesn’t fit right. The stepmother hands them a knife and tells them to cut off first their toes then the heels to fit, assuring them that they won’t need to walk anymore once they are Queen. Pukimak fucking grotesque right!!
Of course the prince notices the blood seeping out of the glass shoe and tell them to fuck off la. *hand motion*
Fast forward to the prince and Cinderella’s wedding. Sitting there at the wedding, the evil stepsisters’ eyes are pecked out by Cinderella’s pet doves and they go blind as punishment for being such bitches to her.
Speaking of going blind, let’s talk about Rapunzel now. You know how the prince climbs up her hair to see her right? And then the witch finds out about it BECAUSE RAPUNZEL FUCKING WENT AND TOLD HER, THAT IDIOT. She cuts off Rapunzel’s long (blond?) hair and holds it out of the window for the prince the next time he comes.
The prince gets so scared by the witch (=.=) that he falls from the tower and lands in thorns, which blind him (do we sense a pattern here?) and Rapunzel is banished to the desert.
There, Rapunzel gives birth to twins – a boy and a girl – and lives with them there. =.= Hor! Sex before marriage!
The prince, who’s been walking around blind the whole time, meets her in the desert. Rapunzel recognises him and bursts into tears, which kena the prince’s eyes somehow and he gets back his sight and they live happily ever after.
Next, Beauty and the Beast.
Don’t know much about it other than that some people say that the reason Beauty didn’t want to leave her father and get married (to Gaston?) was because there was supposed to be some incestuous relationship between her and her father. =.=” When she finally falls in love with the Beast, she like grows up and stops the incest. Or something.
One article I read also mentioned that Sleeping Beauty was being raped by her father also. ><” Can’t remember the details.
Don’t quote me, by that time my eyes were blurring already. You want you go google it yourself.
Which brings me to Snow White.
I didn’t read it anywhere, but Angela says she remembers reading that the reason why the evil queen hated Snow White so much wasn’t because she was hotter than her, but because she was also having an incestuous relationship with her father. What’s wrong with last time people?! Stories like this now sure get banned left and right and the writers jailed in Malaysia because haram wan.
Anyway, in the original Brothers Grimm tale, the queen tells the hunter to kill SW in the forest and bring back her heart and liver to show she’s dead. Of course the hunter feel kesian for her and kills a deer instead. He brings back the deer organs and the queen has it salted and eats it. =.=
Later when she finds out SW is still alive, she tries on 3 attempts to kill Snow White. First she pretends to be a peddlar and offers Snow White some pretty laces to lace up her bodice. She laces Snow White up too tight, she suffocates and faints. But the 7 dwarfs manage to save her when they come back, much to the queen’s annoyance.
Next, the queen tries to sell Snow White a poisoned comb. Again Snow White kena bluffed and let her stick the comb into her head. She collapses. But the queen is foiled again when the dwarfs come back and save her.
Finally the queen gets smart and gives Snow White the poisoned apple and she collapses.
(Let me just say that of all the Disney princesses, I hated Snow White with a passion and now i realise it’s justified because she is a total moron – terpedaya a whopping 3 times and all by an old lady disguise)
Okay fastforward again to after the prince gives SW the kiss of true love and to their wedding day.
The evil queen is invited and before that she checks with her magic mirror who is the hottest again la. And the mirror tells her that the young queen is prettier than her. The queen is damn not satisfied/bo kam wan/mm kam yuen and goes to the wedding to find out who is that.
At the wedding, people find out that the queen was responsible for the attempted murder of SW. As punishment, a pair of iron shoes is heated until red-hot and membara for her. She is forced to put them on and dance until she dies. = =
OK lastly the Little Mermaid of which the Disney version was a total deviation from. (Incidentally, the Little Mermaid used to be Brother Ooi’s favorite movie. We used to fight over whether we were going to watch Little Mermaid or the Sound of Music everyday.)
When LM (her name is not Ariel) asks the Sea Witch for help to turn human, the Sea Witch actually cuts off her tongue, and not just takes her voice. She receives a potion that will give her legs, but whenever she walks, she’ll feel like she’s walking on knives.
She meets the prince and the prince likes to see her dance so she dances for him even tho it’s so damn painful ><“The prince loves her but only as a child.
Then the prince fucking goes and marries this other princess from another kingdom!
LM’s sisters come and find her and give her a knife and tell her if she kills the prince, she’ll turn back into a mermaid and can come home.
(Forgot to say, if she failed to marry the prince, she was supposed to turn into sea foam, not the germs in the Disney movie)
But LM’s heart is too soft and she can’t do it. So she turns into seafoam. No wait, suddenly she feels herself becoming lighter and she becomes some air spirit etc etc then I lazy to type already you go Wikipedia it.
My point is, fairytale characters are really stupid, don’t learn from past mistakes and can’t do anything to help themselves let alone save someone else.
And olden times people must have been damn scary.
Okay my elbow hurts from typing too much already. Better comment or else.
Honestly. You would think that this being the oldest women’s college in the United States, part of the Seven Sisters, ranked 20 something of all liberal arts colleges, Mount Holyoke would have smarter students.But then they accepted me too. Haha.
Yesterday I slept at near 3am and woke up at 8am for an 8.30 class. I couldn’t skip it this time because I already missed the past two classes. *uhh Fat Her Ooi, if you’re reading this, come closer and look at my swinging pendulum and your mind will be clear and fresh again*
Seeing as how I need at least seven hours of sleep just to not get a headache that lasts the whole day, I had to drag myself out of bed, didn’t even bother to change my pajama top and just put on jeans and trudged to class.
So there I sat, hoping my eyes wouldn’t roll back in my head and that I wouldn’t fall off my chair.
I gripped my pan cute dangling heart pencil and furrowed my brow at Lipman while he talked, to give him some Audrey Is Actually Here and Taking Notes vibes.
However, while Lipman droned on about North Korea and its nuclear arsenal, I kept glimpsing this very distracting sight at the corner of my eye.
I forgot that the fucking most annoying girl in the world is in my History of Korea class.
Everytime Lipman made a point, she nodded her head like she was on crack / one of those dog dolls ah bengs put on their dashboard with springs for necks.
Not satisfied with pissing the class off that way, she proceeded to beat the table with her palm whenever Lipman finished a sentence and yelled “Oh that’s so true!” or “You’re right!” and pointed her finger at the poor professor for extra emphasis.
When she was not shouting affirmative sentences, she was making jokes WHICH NOBODY LAUGHED AT and laughed at them herself to make up for the lack of response.
Let me try to remember what she said.
Lipman: Norh Korea is a horrible place to live in right now what with the famine etc yadda yadda…
Moron who Apparently Doesn’t Have a Filter Between her Mouth and her Brain: Hahahaha… *snort snort*
WTF IS SO FUNNY?!? ISIT FUNNY THAT PEOPLE GOT FAMINE AND ARE DYING OF STARVATION? SHE WANT ME TO SEND HER OVER THERE ISIT?
Moron: *raising hand* Who is most likely to invade North Korea right now?
Lipman: South Korea. But that’s not going to happen because South Korea has too much to risk etc etc
Moron: Oh but it seems like a good idea.
Lipman: *sweating and veins popping out like the rest of the class* No it is not a good idea.
BAGUS BAGUS! It’s a good idea to have war! I mean yalah they’re not doing too well there, but you’d think there would be a better solution than to go to war to them so people can die not of starvation but in battle. Damn smart.
Lipman: Even tho North Korea is a communist society, it is not egalitarian (equality among all) because there’s some hierarchy involved…with Kim Il Sung’s and his family at the core followed by his advisors etc etc….
Moron: *raising hand excitedly* OH OH! My friends and I were talking about different levels of social status yesterday! Like, just among the rich, there are differences too! Like between the old money and the noveau rich…
Lipman: Uh, that’s not what I meant.
IS SHE BLIND AND DEAF? WE ARE TALKING ABOUT NORTH KOREA WHICH IS A VERY POOR AND COMMUNIST COUNTRY AND SHE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT RICH LEVELS IN THEIR SOCIETY?
I got so angry that I rolled my eyes all over the room, hissed and accidentally spit in Mai’s face, sitting next to me and overall amused the class who were watching me.
WHY OH WHY DO THESE PEOPLE EXIST.
To my disbelief, Monet told me that she heard that this girl is super-smart wan actually.
I couldn’t believe it so much that I kept mishearing her and thinking that she said the girl was autistic or had special needs. = =
The president (of the college) ordered that all the dining halls be closed today and we have a barbecue picnic lunch outside on the lawn, much to my chagrin.Everybody came decked out in sunglasses, ethnic skirts (yuck), flip flops and tshirts.
I came in my winter coat and jeans.
Everybody stretched out on blankets and applied suntan lotion.
I applied sunblock and pulled my hood over my head.
Everybody asked me if I was cold.
“No, the hood is just very useful for keeping the sun’s rays out.”
So everybody thinks I’m weird now.
Since my reputation is ruined, I’ll just go all the way and carry my to shield against the sun the next time.
::My trusty companion, the hood. Never leave home without it::
I will never understand white people’s obsession with the sun. I guess it’s because they don’t have as much of it as we do at the Equator and to them the browner the skin the sexier kua.
But still! Don’t you know that when you get tanned it means your skin is damaged? And there’s all the risks of developing skin cancer, moles (!!) etc.
Oh well. Whatever rocks your boat. wtf. I’m not one to say anything.
The reason why I hate hate hate the sun is because I am naturally dark and am from Asia where being fair is better. My Japanese professors were all profoundly surprised to see me sitting there with my hood pulled well over my eyes because they thought only Japanese girls do it. I guess I am free to carry an umbrella around in Japan then:D
Mummy Ooi has also given me inspiration by wearing paddy farmers’ hats and detachable sleeves on her arms when she ventures out in the sun.
I cannot go out without sunblock and always wear long sleeves even when it’s hot. Or use my bag/books to cover my face.
Anyway, my point is if I don’t say anything about you doing your best to get skin cancer, you shouldn’t say anything when I sit huddled like a war refugee in my coat.
Dammit people should take Anthro and learn about ethnocentrism, so they can realise that their culture is not necessarily better than others and they should respect other people’s preferences and thinking. They don’t have to yell at other people for wearing jackets in the sun because they think it’s embarrassing or whatever.
I know I said hiatus.But that was before I remembered I was going for…
Black Eyed Peas Honda Civic Tour or something.
Courtesy of Elise, courtesy of my birthday.
Not satisfied with eye makeup. Black Eyed makeup HAHA. Ok la that’s not funny.
While waiting for it to start. They took an awfully long time to. For an opening act, there was a horribly noisy rap/rock ground called Flipsyde from Chile. Apologies to whoever liked them because I sure didn’t. I don’t know if they were good because I was discreetly trying to stuff my fingers into my ears without letting other people see because how can you go to a concert and plug up your ears.
“Oh dear god, please let me keep my ear drums.”
I guess I’m still praying, just more fervently.
(insert own caption because I can’t think of any)
No reason other than I think I look very sweet and gentle and caring here for some reason, which is a nice change from my usual expressions of worry, constipation and fear (or so everybody says)
And finally, the Pussycat Dolls come on stage, looking so hot that I think if I were ever to like women, I’d go for all 6 of them.
Everybody stood up and started waving their arms enthusiastically in the air. What was I to do when dozens of gyrating bums and lengthy arms were blocking my vision?
Of course stand up and do as the Romans do.
But because Angela’s pictures mostly suck and I haven’t gotten Elise’s this lone pic will have to do.
Then BEP came on. Actually I probably like the Pussycat Dolls the same as the Black Eyed Peas so I was pretty disappointed when they went off. But the BEP’s concert was really very good, even to a person like me who sat down and yawned during Maroon 5 last year.
Unfortunately, all the vibrations in the stadium from the supermagnifying speakers made me feel car sick.
It’s the same concept what! You know how you sit in Motion Master and your body feels like you’re moving but you’re actually not and you feel sick?
Don’t bluff. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.
Yalah, so I felt sick to my stomach and had to sit down and try to burp while everyone else rocked on and Yen screamed her lungs out.
I guess Yen has really big lungs cos my right ear went deaf from the speakers while my left ear went deaf from Yen. Ahahaha.
It’s the end of the semester.The author is currently under intense stress / juggling a shitload of assignments and deadlines / further stressing over where the fuck am I going to put all my stuff when I leave America for a year and a half / hating distance.
Therefore, a hiatus until I am well. Or until Leroy says so wtf.
The most bizarre thing happened today.Being the Friendster whore i am, I clicked my Friendster page and saw – ooh – new messages.
Looks innocent, doesn’t it?
Looks harmless, doesn’t he?
He just wants to know girls online.
But there’s a bizarre twist to the story. Actually two.
Bizarre Twist #1 I’m already on his friend list
Bizarre Twist #2 This idiot is my ex-boyfriend.
*sob* I’m so ashamed!
Honestly!
I sat there for maybe 5 minutes trying to decipher his meaning before beckoning Angela over to take a guess over what he’s trying to do.
Some more, he sent the damn message twice. Scared I won’t receive it ar?
Did he forget such a person called Audrey Ooi existed?
HAHAHHAHA why la why?! Am I so forgettable? Was I such a bitter past that in reaction to the trauma he erased all memory of me from his mind?
Mind you, it was a very easy and simple ending. The next day, I went to curl and dye my hair and got over it.
But takkan until forget he even knows an Audrey? We haven’t spoken in a long time but we still have mutual friends! And I just realised I saw him last year at Darren Tan’s farewell party!
So the only plausible reason is that he doesn’t recognise me.
Very different meh? *frowns*
Dammit, I even have a picture with him in it in my Friendster!
He has this pic in HIS Friendster too! OMG.
Hahahahah I don’t understand! How come got such people in this world?! He even tried to bluff me and say he’s new to Friendster but I know for a fact he’s been using it for years! Shit I also shy la.
And everybody laughs at me because a new hairstyle was enough for me to forget and move on. Looks like it was the same for him too. = =
We went to the photo store at Village Commons to get the mafan pictures done.The damn Iranian man who we thought was quite nice freaking cheated us of USD100 each.
$12 for 2 photos! Photos taken WITH A POLAROID CAMERA.
I am so bo kam wan/ mm kam yuen/ tak puas hati/ dissatisfied that I want to burn down his store, poison his shiba dog and poke out his eyes.
He knows very well that his is the only photoshop around easily accessible to Mt Holyoke students, so he feels free to overcharge outrageously.
This is an outrageous outrage.
HATEHATEHATEHATEKILLKILLKILLKILL
To add salt to the wound, the photos turned out terrible. The man wouldn’t let me smile because I showed him the picture of the manically laughing chick, so I look like an angry square-faced man. Skin was pale and dark at the same time, and since he didn’t even have a proper backdrop to take pictures against, in some pictures you can see a doorknob yes a doorknob next to my elbow.
Fuck him and his dog.
Me in happier times.
Today I received a letter from AKP informing us that we have to prepare ___ amount of passport photos for all sorts of ID cards we would be needing in Japan.They provided a whole list of what cannot be accepted as pictures.
The list of cannots.
Cannot be too much to the side
Cannot have shiny reflective glasses
Cannot wear shades. HAHAHA we suspect her sunglasses are photoshopped on.
Cannot smile too big. HAHAHAHAHAH!!
Sorry, just found that hilarious.
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