Fcukenathan! My facial cleanser is missing!
Either:
(a) someone nicked it from the bathroom where it was nestling between my loofah and shampoo
or
(b) Divya hid it somewhere and cannot find it now. Biatch.
Now I gotta use stupid Clinique sample to wash my face. And I had to go to class without washing my face again cos I couldn’t find my beautiful pink Dior facial wash.
Never mind, I think I am finally done with assignments at the moment. If any professor dares to hit me with another paper or test, he/she is dead meat.
I’ve been fcuking sleeping at 4am every night for the past week and waking up at 8! Some more don’t even have time to take afternoon nap.
AND THEN SOMORE, I had a damn stressful time trying to plot out my classes for next semester, to fulfil the distribution requirements, get enough credits for my major, and try not to put in any early morning classes at the same time.
(Siao, you want me to go outside at 8am also in the middle of winter when it will be -30C ar?)
Anyway, I have come up with a first-class schedule:
Introduction to Chinese Civilisation
Physics: Force, Motion and Energy
Japanese
Zen & Japanese Culture
PE- Walking for Fitness (=.=)
I CANNOT believe that for PE I am taking Walking for fitness. The course description says:
Covers all aspects of walking, including equipment, walking techniques and training techniques.
WTF! Why walking need technique wan meh?! And what equipment to do you need? A compass? Walking stick maybe?
I was conned into this by Angela. Also because the cool classes like Jazz, Modern and Ballroom Dancing were already full.
Obviously we got into Walking for Fitness BECAUSE NOONE ELSE WANTS TO WALK FOR FITNESS!
Anyway it is time to go. I need my beauty sleep and I need to find that Clinique cleanser.
Shall blog again later because I am free now! Wahahahah
I never thought I would find a cartoon more demented than Happy Tree Friends.
But apparently there are more deranged minds out there than we’ll ever know of. Thanks a lot, Dustin Cheng.
So check out Salad Fingers.
Copyright David Firth AUg 2004.
Wheeeeee!! Let it snow let it snow let it snow!
Yesterday it snowed the whole day!
For Aud the Jakun, it’s the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.
Snow flakes were falling and getting caught in her eyelashes.
She opened her mouth to eat the snowflakes. (Okay this is a bit on the side of deranged)
The trees and bushes looked like it was covered in powdered sugar…like on Christmas cakes.
It got me into the Christmas spirit already and I spent half the day downloading Christmas carols.
And at night we had a snowball fight!
And since I was the only one who hadn’t made a snow angel before, everyone forced me to lie down on the 1 inch high snow and make one.
Each of my limbs was grabbed by at leas 3 people each and swung back and forth against the snow to make angel shapes.
Verily, I felt idiotic. It somehow is very violating to have your arms and legs swung up and down. Open close open close.
Sorry if the white snow turns pink. I haven’t figured out how to change that yet.
::My phone. Damn shit cannot change it, cos the only triband phone they have is Nokia and I don’t like Nokia. So I’m stuck with this::
My tooth is chipped again.
This is the third time it has been chipped.
Okay, Ruth, Min and Hsin, you can stop laughing now.
I shall proceed to tell you the history of this adventurous tooth who mm chai see still keep getting itself chipped. Doesn’t know what’s good for it.
The first time it happened was in Giant Supermarket in USJ (what an unromantic setting). I was probably 13 or 14 years old, and I was being made use by Mummy and Daddy Ooi to push the trolley. As usual, me, Brother Ooi and Daddy Ooi were entertaining ourselves waiting for Mummy Ooi while she shot us dirty looks once in a while to stop us from making too much hoo-ha.
Daddy Ooi (amidst giggles): “(insert something really hilarious and dumb)”
Audrey (throwing head back): “HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!” (intends to bring head back down to rest on trolley handle but overestimates distance of trolley from head and force of head swing)
And that’s how I chipped my front tooth on a Giant trolley handle.
I got it patched and everything was hunky dory until last year.
(Fcuk lah, so big already this kind of fcuking malu things still happen to me)
It was in MacDonald’s SS15!! The one near Taylor’s. I think it was bad karma because I dragged the rest of them there to spy on (and laugh at the expense of) Ex. No1 who was having a date with one of his admirers.
As usual I was trying to be impressive and decided to attempt a sexy slutty look which Brother Ooi taught me.
It involves uh, “rawring” like a cat/lion/leopard and snapping your jaws together as seductively as you can. Like you just wanna eat the other person up or something.
DON’T ASK ME WHY SO FREAKING WEIRD AND SCARY LA OK! BARRY OOI TEACH WAN! YOU GO ASK HIM IF NOT SATISFIED!
Anyway I did the whole rawring, jaw snapping thing.
And chipped my tooth in the process.
It was probably the happiest day in the lives of Ruth, Min, Hsin, Grace and Mark.
Don’t la laugh at people’s misery.
Anyway thank god, this 3rd time chipping is normal. Probably just by chewing bones and cartilage.
(WEATHER UPDATE: Fcukenathan, Beth just told me it’s sleeting now, snow expected tomorrow. DOG SHIT!)
Something has happened that is putting a big cheesy grin on my face.
But because I’m a secret biatch, I shall not tell what it is.
Muahahah!!! You have got to be patient!
*giddy giddy*
Those who think you might know what it is, shhhh!
I am not done agonizing!!
*continues tearing hair out* HOW THE FUKC CAN I BE SO BLOODY STUPID?!?!?!?!?!?!?
*drops on knees and wails*
HATEHATEHATEHATE
I am astonished at my own stupidity.
How I managed to survive 19 years without killing myself is a miracle indeed.
I can just imagine Mummy Ooi saying “you idiot!” again.
Don’t scold me la Mummy! If not I will start hearing your voice in my head again.
*depressed*
WAHAHAHAHAAH I AM BACK!
Due to:-
(a) Only boringness happening in life
(b) Lack of inertia to blog
(c) Self doubt and near identity crisis
OOH! I got my cell phone! Finally I am technologically apt again! I have a phone! Which nobody calls. =(
Never mind, I hav-
ARGHHHH!!!!! FUCK SHIT!!!! I THINK I BOUGHT THE WRONG PHONE!!!! I HIGHLY DOUBT THIS PHONE IS TRIBAND!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
*THROES OF ANGUISH AND ANGST*
WHY MUST I DO THIS TO MYSELF EVERY SINGLE TIME
WOO WOO~~~
AND I WAS GOING TO BLOG ABOUT SO HAPPY THINGS TOO!
NO MOOD ALREADY =(
Nails have turned blue.
Teeth chattering uncontrollably.
This is what I get for eating icecream at 2 degrees Celcius temperature.
The US elections are underway. Shall it be Bush or Kerry?
The shallow idiot in me doesn’t like Kerry cos of the way he looks *shields head from Democrat projectiles* but there is no way I would pick Bush over Kerry.
I’m not very alert when it comes to politics, but I do know that the war in Iraq has nothing to do with fighting Osama bin Laden. Is Osama Iraqi? Does it matter to him if Iraq gets bombed or not?
No.
Then why is Iraq getting the shit beaten out of it?
Money. Power. Oil.
The US is supposed to be fighting a war on terrorism. That’s why they’re going for Iraq. But there is no connection between Iraq and Saddam Hussein and the people who engineered the WTC attacks.
Bush declared Saddam as America’s enemy. But did people ever stop to think that in the past (I’m not so sure but I think it MAY have been in the 70s) America was once allianced with Saddam over something that suited their benefit? (I’m not sure what it is either, gotta do some fact checking)
There is no excuse for the war in Iraq. In fact, there is no excuse for war fullstop. Even if Iraq was responsible for the WTC attacks, will it bring back the victims if more innocent people are slaughtered?
If Bush is reelected, the horror will go on. But if Kerry gets it, at least there is a chance he will stop it. It is not a definite thing that he will, but at least there is something to hope on.
Shit I’m depressing myself even more. =(
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The reason why I haven’t blogged for so long is because I have writer’s block.
I keep feeling that I have to have something funny or cutesy to write about to make people laugh. I once used to blog about random things that happened and all the personal stuff sekalian but now I feel reluctant to do that.
I feel like there is an image or standard I have to uphold, and I have to present a happy picture to people.
SAD STUFF ONLY DEPRESSES PEOPLE SO WHY SHOULD I BLOG ABOUT IT?
Thinking of shutting down this blog because it is not me anymore.
Yes, I swear all the dumb stuff that has happened to me are all true, but that’s the only side I present here.
I am not dumb all the time.
I am not shallow all the time.
I am not happy all the time.
There are a million things that have happened to me or that I feel that I have not put down here. So is there a point?
Like now. I’m not happy.
Usually I’m the kind of geek who actually feels happy to be alive. (hands bowl for you to vomit in)
Yes, I’m the kind of nerd who actually gets rushes of joy that I’m alive, human and Audrey Ooi. Yalah yalah I know that is a very very “……” statement ok! But dunno, I feel happy to be who I am.
But I haven’t got that feeling for a long time. =(
Some key ingredient is missing from my life and I can’t even tell what it is.
No!
What has happened to me?!
I have become *gasp* SLOPPY!
Today I went to class without washing my face and wearing my pajamas.
HOW CAN I DO THAT!
It is because I slept at 5 last night doing a really mofo-ing assignment and woke up at 8.30 for a 8.35 class. I stumbled out of bed, brushed my teeth, put on a jacket and went off.
I almost, almost went to class wearing my specs too.
Luckily I got the sense to put on my contacts and as a result, was late again to class.
*tears hair out* WHERE CAN LIKE THIS?!
Reputation sudah gone la! I will be like the rest of the people who wear checked pants and sweatshirts out! This is what a women’s college does to you!
I will go back to Malaysia and wear rafflesia tshirts out of the house! My reputation as a bimbo gone la! I will only be known as a geek fullstop. =(
That is why I have made a pact with Angela. She too is suffering the same effect as I am, although she has yet to show up for class wearing pajamas and yesterday’s socks.
We shall make efforts to be presentable from now on. Cannot let our makeup expire just like that! Waste money only.
November resolutions:
1. Dress up
2. Finish using up makeup only talk
3. Stop eating at Blanchard so much (burgers, fried stuff, fries etc only=( )
4. Exercise once a week
Bananas in Pyjamas
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